₦airaland Forum

Cutehector:
its all good . As long as someone out thr gets inspired... Like me nw, I may like a gurl very much, buh most times I'd be askn myself, hw will she react wen a conflict happens.. Hw will she handle d situation and all that.. Some ladies just find it difficult to say they are sorry and at that point u just begin to imajin if dats d person u wana spend d rest of ur life with

Indeed character is as important as love in any relationship... And anyone who wants to get married must be ready for a continual character "adjustment" where necessary...

tomsniel:
A home that is not built on love and Jesus Christ will fail

True

Cutehector:
Though long buh its educative.. Op thanks for this piece...

You are welcome... Though I can't claim the copyright for all of the ideas therein, I borrowed some knowledge too.

Sassybae:
Aarrhhh...all this list every day,wetin sef ...op are you with the right person?

Well... I guess I'll just say the I haven't tied the knot yet... So the chance is still there to get it right.

Many people have gone into marriage seeking fulfilment only to find that they soon become dissatisfied and even disillusioned. Most of the people in this category made the wrong from the onset. Below are 11 reasons why people end up with the wrong choice of life partners.
The post is quite long but please take the pains of going through you may well need it.

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××
#1. You pick the wrong person because you
expect him/her to change after you're married.
The classic mistake. Never marry potential. The
golden rule is, if you can't be happy with the
person the way he or she is now, don't get
married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it,
"You actually can expect people to change after
they're married... for the worse!"
So when it comes to the other person's
spirituality, character, personal hygiene,
communication skills, and personal habits, make
sure you can live with these as they are now.

×××××××××××××××××××××××××
#2. You pick the wrong person because you
focus more on chemistry than on character.
Get great Jewish content – FREE!
Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character
keeps it burning. Beware of the "I'm in love"
syndrome. "I'm in love" often means, "I'm in
lust." Attraction is there, but have you carefully
checked out this person's character?
Here are four character traits to definitely check
for:
Humility: Does this person believe that "doing
the right thing" is more important than personal
comfort?
Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure
to other people? How does s/he treat people s/
he doesn't have to be nice to? Does s/he do
volunteer work? Give charity?
Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do
what s/he says s/he's going to do?
Happiness: Does this person like himself? Does
s/he enjoy life? Is s/he emotionally stable?
Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this
person? Do I want to have a child with this
person? Would I like my child to turn out like him
or her?

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
#3. You pick the wrong person because the man
doesn't understand what a woman needs most.
Men and women have unique emotional needs,
and more often than not, it is the man who just
doesn't "get it." Jewish tradition places the onus
on the man to understand the emotional needs
of a woman and to satisfy them.
The unique need of a woman is to be loved -- to
feel that she is the most important person in her
husband's life. The husband needs to give her
consistent, quality attention.
This is most apparent in Judaism's approach to
intimacy. The Torah obligates the husband to
meet the intimate needs of his wife. Intimacy is
always on the woman's terms. Men are goal-
oriented, especially when it comes this area. As
a wise woman once pointed out, "Men have two
speeds: on and off." Women are experience-
oriented. When a man is able to switch gears
and become more experience-oriented, he will
discover what makes his wife very happy. When
the man forgets about his own needs and
focuses on giving his wife pleasure, amazing
things happen.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
#4. You choose the wrong person because you
do not share a common life goals and priorities.
There are three basic ways we connect with
another person:
1. chemistry and compatibility
2. share common interests
3. share common life goal
Make sure you share the deeper level of
connection that sharing life goals provide. After
marriage, the two of you will either grow together
or grow apart. To avoid growing apart, you must
figure out what you're "living for," while you're
single -- and then find someone who has come
to the same conclusion as you.
This is the true definition of a "soul mate." A
soul mate is a goal mate -- two people who
ultimately share the same understanding of life's
purpose and therefore share the same priorities,
values and goals.

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
#5. You choose the wrong person because you
get intimately involved too quickly.
Intimacy before the commitment of marriage can
be a big problem because it often precludes a
fully honest exploration of important issues.
Physical involvement tends to cloud one's mind.
And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good
decisions.
It is not necessary to take a "test drive" in order
to find out if a couple is physically compatible. If
you do your homework and make sure you are
intellectually and emotionally compatible, you
don't have to worry about it. Of all the studies
done on divorce, incompatibility in the intimate
arena is almost never cited as a main reason
why people divorce.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
#6. You pick the wrong person because you do
not have a deeper emotional connection with this
person.
To evaluate whether you have a deeper
emotional connection or not, ask: "Do I respect
and admire this person?"
This does not mean, "Am I impressed by this
person?" We are impressed by a Mercedes. We
do not respect someone because they own a
Mercedes. You should be impressed by qualities
of creativity, loyalty, determination, etc.
Also ask: "Do I trust this person?" This also
means, "Is he/she emotionally stable? Do I feel I
can rely on him/her?

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
#7. You pick the wrong person because you
choose someone with whom you don't feel
emotionally safe.
Ask yourself the following questions: Do I feel
calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Can
I fully be myself and express myself with this
person? Does this person make me feel good
about myself? Do you have a really close friend
who does make you feel this way? Make sure the
person you marry makes you feel the same way!
Are you afraid of this person in any way? You
should not feel you need to monitor what you
say because you are afraid of how the other
person will view it. If you're afraid to express
your feelings and opinions openly, there's a
problem with the relationship.
Another aspect of feeling safe is that you don't
feel the other person is trying to control you.
Controlling behaviors are a sign of an abusive
person. Be on the look out for someone who is
always trying to change you. There's a big
difference between "controlling" and "making
suggestions." A suggestion is made for your
benefit; a control statement is made for their
benefit.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

#8. You pick the wrong person because you don't
put everything on the table.
Anything that bothers you about the relationship
must be brought up for discussion. Bringing up
the uncomfortable stuff is the only way to
evaluate how well the two of you communicate,
negotiate, and work together. Over the course of
a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably arise. You
need to know now, before making a
commitment: Can you resolve your differences
and find compromises that work for both of you?
Never be afraid to let the person know what
bothers you. This is also a way for you to test
how vulnerable you can be with this person. If
you can't be vulnerable, then you can't be
intimate. The two go hand in hand.

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

#9. You pick the wrong person because you use
the relationship to escape from personal
problems and unhappiness.
If you are unhappy and single, you'll probably be
unhappy and married, too. Marriage does not fix
personal, psychological and emotional problems.
If anything, marriage will exacerbate them.
If you are not happy with yourself and your life,
take responsibility to fix it now while you are
single. You'll feel better, and your future spouse
will thank you.

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××

#10. You pick the wrong person because he/she
is involved in a triangle.
To be "triangulated" means a person is
emotionally dependent on someone or something
else while trying to develop another relationship.
A person who hasn't separated from his or her
parents is the classic example of triangulation.
People can also be triangulated with things as
well, such as work, drugs, Internet, hobbies,
sports or money.
Be careful that you and your partner are free of
triangles. The person caught in the triangle
cannot be fully emotionally available to you. You
will not be their number one priority. And that's
no basis for a marriage.
******************************

#11. Faith and Religion
However you choose to look at it, and on whichever side of the divide you stand, it is undeniable that for many people who have and profess "faith", it is an integral part of their lives. Hence in any relationship, issues of faith must be properly dealt with as it could prove a major agent of discord in marriage if not wisely and properly handled. The saying goes, "Can two work together except they agree?"

tforever:
herbal blossom tea,bit n peaches and royal jelly will help...

Thanks for the recipe. Is there a way of combining them plus that "royal jelly", I don't know what it is?

Doortun:
Free your mind from stress and worries. Don't bother yourself too much about what you can't change. Everyone is going through some kind of stress at any point in time. Some people are just good at not letting worries get the best of them.

Socialize and exercise well during the day and you will get a decent sleep at night.

Some herbs are good for insomnia, try those chinese tea and please use pharmaceutical drugs as last resort if nothing works. Note that, long term insomnia is worse than any other disease because it presents pack of problems not just one.

Thanks for your suggestions...while I still struggle with sleeping, I have tried to implement several suggestions and the situation is improving...will also try your suggestions...

Lagos State official:

APC
444 273 59,63%

PDP 300 806 40,37%

Win by percentage so far, live now:


Adamawa
The APC received 59.23% votes
Bayelsa
The PDP received 99.06% votes
Benue
The PDP received 65.87% votes
Borno
The APC received 92.01% votes
Edo
The PDP received 61.12% votes
Ekiti
The PDP received 59.94% votes
Enugu
The PDP received 96.48% votes
Federal Capital Territory
The PDP received 51.24% votes
Jigawa
The APC received 86.03% votes
Kaduna
The APC received 89.1% votes
Kano
The APC received 89.82% votes
Katsina
The APC received 99.31% votes
Kogi
The APC received 62.86% votes
Kwara
The APC received 69.29% votes
Lagos
The APC received 59.63% votes
Nassarawa
The PDP received 53.46% votes
Ogun
The APC received 60.31% votes
Ondo
The APC received 53.45% votes
Osun
The APC received 59.69% votes
Oyo
The APC received 59.98% votes
Plateau
The PDP received 68.69% votes
Sokoto
The APC received 88.34% votes

Woodpecker
Snail
Centipede
Dodo

ejikeme:
damn....the thing bad gan.

No be small tin

ucheheart:
After all these right up, ppl will still continue to smoke. So what the essence. Even smokers on nairaland seeing this topic wil jump and pass.

Some there are still, who will heed and seek for a change

izuch:
Mehn I need to quit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh lord help me

I say amen to that...please do your best to quit.

Smoking has become a very common habit nowadays, both among teens as well as older people.
It usually starts off as a means of having fun and or showcasing style but unfortunately it has often resulted in the death of many a smoker.
smoking has a very strong addictive power because of the ingredients it is made off.
In fact, some smokers, especially of cigarette, often feel like they can't live without it. Below, we have some facts about smoking you should know.

About Cigarette:
First of all, let us consider a few things about the ingredients of a cigarette.
* A cigarette contains more then 7,000 chemicals in it.
Nicotine is one of these and the major reason why people become addicted to cigarette smoking. Of these 7,000 chemicals, several hundreds are toxic and 70 of them can directly cause cancer. Some of the most harmful ingredients of cigarette contain lead, radon, tar (tar-col), radium,
carbon monoxide, ammonia, hydrogen cyanide and uranium.
In fact, if we were to write about all of them in detail, it would take volumes of books.
So lets go to those 9 facts:

1. According to scientific researches, a smoker will live 14 year less.

2. There are about 1.1 billion smokers in the world and 300 million of them are in China.

3. According to British scientists, every cigarette you smoke can shorten your life by 11 minutes.

4. When you smoke, the supply of blood to your skin is reduced this also lowers the level of Vitamin A in your body while your body gets paler and form wrinkles.

5. About 3,000 deaths occur annually as a result of second-hand smoking which means if you are a smoker, you are a direct danger to your family, friends and relatives.

6. In last minute, about 7 people died just because of smoking which means smoking claims 1 life every eight seconds.

7. Lung Cancer, Blood Pressure, Heart attack, Skin and Mouth Cancer are some major diseases that can be caused by smoking.

8. If a pregnant woman smokes, the chances of her having miscarriage are increased.

9. 90% of the lung cancer patients are or have been smokers
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There are about one million different species of animals, birds, insects and fishes in the world. The majority of them can still be found in the world while many of them are endangered or nearing extinction. Here are 10 interesting facts about animals, some which you are familiar with though you may be surprised about a few things and others that you may never have heard about.

1) Panamanian Golden Frog:

An amazing species of frog named Panamanian Golden Frogs do not possess ears, but rather they listen with the help of their lungs (you go fear inner ears now, they must be seeing into the spirit realm also). Yes, those lungs multi-task for them in the most amazing way. These frogs are not the only species with that type of functionality, there are many fish that also hear in the same manner.

2) Groups of Animals:

Did you know that a group of fish is called a school, while a group of owls is called a parliament (Hmm! No wonder witches they use dem well well, to debate over people life).

3) Cows:

A single cow releases vast amount of methane gas on a daily basis. The gas passed by a cow can fill about 400 litre bottles (I wonder why we have not started milking methane in Nigeria, and dem say north no get natural resources) .

4) Black Widow Spider:

The Black Widow, one of the most poisonous spiders (no wonder it is a widow, e don kill all D husbands finish), can spin a web whose silk is the
strongest of all other types of silks in the world. Another interesting fact about them is if a bird eats black widow, it is very much lights out for the bird.

5) Woodpecker:

A woodpecker can peck on wood 20 times per second (their neck nor dey tire?). Their average total pecks are 8,000 to 12,000 a day. A woodpecker was represented successfully by an artist Ben Hardway as fictional Woody Woodpecker.

6) Sharks:

Sharks, one of the largest species of fishes, don’t have bones in their bodies. Their skeleton is made of cartilage (A flexible bone-like strucure like the one man have in their ears and nose). An amazing thing about a Shark’s skeleton is that it can easily be crushed under their own weight while on dry land.

7) Snails:

A species of snails named as Garden Snail have about 14,175 teeth that are located on its tongue. Another cool and interesting fact about
snails is that they can sleep up to 3 years without any break (Well, am not surprised, considering how slow they are, it must take them that long to get enough sleep too).

8 ) Centipede:

Centipedes existed on earth about 400 million years ago. Although centipede means 100 feet, many people have witnessed quite larger centipedes, some of them with over 300 legs.

9) Hyrax:


A Hyrax is a small rabbit liked animal with a weight of about 2 to 5 kg but amazingly this animal is known as the cousin of elephant. Yes guys, its true, this animal is the nearest relative of an elephant (Ehen, even children from thesame parents don't have thesame size)


10) Dodo:

A Dodo, one of the national symbols of Mauritius, is no more in the world as it went extinct in 1681. Although we can see the imaginary shape of Dodo’s in documentaries and featured films, their original shape is stillunknown as it existed before the cameras and there are no complete skeletons found yet.

Minyang:
Have you tried exercise? If not try working out for at least 30mins 5 times a week. Not strengthening exercises o. Do more of aerobics like brisk walking, walking on treadmill or swimming. I hope u'll find this helpful

Do you mean regular exercises at any time of the day or just in the evenings. I'll try to inculcate some of the options you gave. Thanks for the input.

Misterlaby:
Nicest template have seen so far..

Catchy and unique and original

Thumbs

Thank you!
Your comments and reviews will be highly welcomed.

UjSizzle:
How nice

There's a poetry course running on The DailyPost currently. They explore various forms of poetry and has the added advantage of making your site visible.
You should check it out

Love the layout. Clean, beautiful, with superb content

Bookmarking

Thanks a lot for your warm review.
I'll check out the course and see how it will help me improve.

LeStylo:
- Taking Fura da Nunu makes me sleep like a baby
- Stay off your PC and mobiles at nights
- I have had to undergo few days of lexotern doses to re-adjust
- Also watch your BP, sleeplessness drives it up fast
- Stay off caffeine, nicotine
- add fruits to your diet and exercise regularly
- i also warn my wife not to bother waking me up if i sleep off on the couch, getting back to sleep could be herculean

Other points have been thrashed. Good luck.

I have made some improvement and i still am. Good luck buddy.

'
Thanks a lot for sharing, I'll incoporate these tips.
Please Lexoterm, is that a prescription drug?

A new blogsite, focused on creative writing especially poetry.
http://iremise.

LLVelly:
1) Change ur matrex(foam)
2) Position ur bed near the window(to enable enough breeze).
3) Switch off d lights b4 going to bed.
4) The bed(foam) is meant for sleeping, not for social networks(phone,laptop) or watching TV.
5) Quit playing TV games at late hours.
6) Have a bed time.::
>raw but that's d genuine solutionz< hope it helps.

Thanks a lot for your suggestions.

I'm not really guilty of most of these outlined acts but I'll still adjust where necessary and hope it get better.

isotonic:
No please have your regular dinner but don't eat anything else after, wait for 2 hrs and then drink the warm milk

Alright. Thanks for the advice

isotonic:
Hi there, sorry about your predicament. Try drinking a glass of warm milk on an empty stomach before sleeping. So basically drink the milk about two hours after your last meal for the day, best of luck

Okay, please I'd like to know, does this mean I should keep from taking dinner and just go with something liquid? Thanks for your suggestion

mutter:
You need to switch off before going to bed. Do not listen or watch anything that will unsettle you. Rather something relaxing.
Take hot tea or a chocolate drink.
Sleep in a well aired room. Sometimes even fresh bedsheets make you sleep better.
Change your bed position or sleep in another room.
Some people need to fall asleep in from of the TV or with music but what I don`t like about TV is that if they start showing something aggressive you take it up in your sleep without realizing and it can affect your dreams.

When it gets too bad you jut need medication to help you out.
If you don`t get sleep you might get a burn out or something similar. You need to take it in reduced dose and for a short time. Ask your doctor to prescribe you something that is not addictive and do not keep it in large quantity in your home.

See just as the body can be sick and tired so it is with the mind. Consult a doctor for help, medication. Also try and find out what is bothering you.

Finally prayer is a very strong weapon against sleepless nights anxiety and so on.
Call on God and he will give you peace of mind.

Thanks a lot, this is quite exhaustive.
I hope to post soon detailing positive improvements...

xynerise:
Cashew nut + milk will help

Really? Please expantiate on the way to use this

kestolove95:
it's very terrible bro..but wit d syrup..i slip wake up wit ma body very light and ma eyes bright..but I take it once in a while

Some One suggested this to me today, I am yet to try it though:
"Get dried leaves of lemon orange. Soak 12 pcs
of the leaves in a cup of hot water, let it
simmer for 10 minutes, sieve add a spoon of
pure honey, drink at bedtime"

gawab:
Get dried leaves of lemon orange. Soak 12 pcs of the leaves in a cup of hot water, let it simmer for 10 minutes, sieve add a spoon of pure honey, drink at bedtime.
www.totalhealthland.com
0814408033

Thanks, will try it out.

kestolove95:
nothin o..y I have to do take syrup to slip is dat I keep haven headch and ma eyes ar always heavy and red at morning..

That's one annoying side effect indeed...

kestolove95:
bro u and I are suffrn same tin...if I finally sleep after the struggle, it won't be more dan an hour...but I resulted to takin explon syrup

Hmm.
That is something I really am afraid of, having to become dependent on drugs to sleep.

Are there no other ways to handle it?

Post closed

Thanks @all, thread closed