₦airaland Forum

phymeon:
Thanks for the info. Op. Getting that book this week, i once saw it with a friend but he refuse to borrow me; asking me to go buy mine.

Well I don't blame your friend too much *smiles*.
It's one book we ought to own for ourselves.

mkpakanaodogwu:
relationship is too complicated to be defined.what worked for A may not work for B.it is a fairy tale

You are very correct. That is why we must be ourselve and try to understand each other better rather than trying to duplicate other prople's lifestyle...

mkpakanaodogwu:
We are pencil .....

Well, I think I have seen a quote with that same phrase somewhere...but how do you mean exactly?

alberto2k:
Noted again

Gracias

Ok o

The world around us today is full of people who have failed to find satisfaction in their relationships.
Marriages are crumbling daily for simple and avoidable reasons.
I believe we can all have beautiful relationships, that can weather the storms and blossom against all odds.
Here are 5 simple things you can do to improve your relationship:

1. Good Communication: Yes, I know you've heard this many times but I am also sure by now you have understood that hearing/knowing is not quite thesame as doing. One key in every successful relationship is for both parties to talk, about everything.
There really are no limits to what you can and should talk to your partner about, especially in marriage.

2. Learn how to use the Magic Words

Many words that we often take for granted could greatly help to improve a lot of relationships. Words thank you, Sorry, please, I love you etc., may look simple but they are very powerful tools.
Many prople, perhaps due to their upbringing or mere ego, find it really hard to say these words and that has ended up hurting many relationship. And to add too, you can never do too much of affirming your love for your partner. If we are to forgive seventy times seven times in a day, I guess it wouldn't be out of place to affirm your love those number of times too *winks*

3. Forgive and Grow

First of all, to mantain a healthy relationship, you must have a heart that readily forgives. We are all humans, aiming for perfection (and none of us is there yet by the way), so the unavoidable tendency to offend is there. Added to this too, is the fact that both of you came from different backgrounds and will see several things differently, so you must be willing to forgive faults and overlook presumed imperfections.
Secondly, while each partner expects to be forgiven, when he/she offends, each must also continue to grow. You don't expect your partner to keep forgiving and overlooking thesame flaws repeatedly for years without any effort towards a positive change, coming from you.

4. Learn Your partner's Love Language and speak it.

This one is about the most important of them all and a lack of proper understanding in this regard has cost many relationshionships dearly.

There are five major love languages spoken by every human and people respond depending on which category (or combination of categories) they fall.
We have:

a.)Gifts
b.)Quality time
c.) Acts of service
d.) Words of Affirmation
e.) Physical Touch (not necessarily sexual)

For the purpose of this post, I cannot go into details about each of the love languages but suffice it to know that the key is not to communicate in the language you prefer, but to find out your partner's and exptess it to him/her. People respond better when you express love to them in thrir own unique language and a person can respond to a combination of these five languages.
5. Be Yourself.

This one does not need too much sermonizing. Jst don't try to tirn your relationship into an African Magic episode or a holly wood movie. Don't paint a picture that is not real because soon enough, tge ink will fade and the real image will ve laid bare. Just be you and allow your partner love you for your unique attributes.


*N/B: Recommended for Reading: Five love Languages by Gary Chapman (infact you should own one)
I wish you blossoming and fruitful relationships...you can add your for us to learn from

alberto2k:
Noted...

I'll Come back to read when I enter a relationship

That will mean creating extra work for you and your partner, why not try to build yourself now that you are still single - that is if you are o

The world around us today is full of people who have failed to find satisfaction in their relationships.
Marriages are crumbling daily for simple and avoidable reasons.
I believe we can all have beautiful relationships, that can weather the storms and blossom against all odds.
Here are 5 simple things you can do to improve your relationship:

1. Good Communication: Yes, I know you've heard this many times but I am also sure by now you have understood that hearing/knowing is not quite thesame as doing. One key in every successful relationship is for both parties to talk, about everything.
There really are no limits to what you can and should talk to your partner about, especially in marriage.

2. Learn how to use the Magic Words

Many words that we often take for granted could greatly help to improve a lot of relationships. Words thank you, Sorry, please, I love you etc., may look simple but they are very powerful tools.
Many prople, perhaps due to their upbringing or mere ego, find it really hard to say these words and that has ended up hurting many relationship. And to add too, you can never do too much of affirming your love for your partner. If we are to forgive seventy times seven times in a day, I guess it wouldn't be out of place to affirm your love those number of times too *winks*

3. Forgive and Grow

First of all, to mantain a healthy relationship, you must have a heart that readily forgives. We are all humans, aiming for perfection (and none of us is there yet by the way), so the unavoidable tendency to offend is there. Added to this too, is the fact that both of you came from different backgrounds and will see several things differently, so you must be willing to forgive faults and overlook presumed imperfections.
Secondly, while each partner expects to be forgiven, when he/she offends, each must also continue to grow. You don't expect your partner to keep forgiving and overlooking thesame flaws repeatedly for years without any effort towards a positive change, coming from you.

4. Learn Your partner's Love Language and speak it.

This one is about the most important of them all and a lack of proper understanding in this regard has cost many relationshionships dearly.

There are five major love languages spoken by every human and people respond depending on which category (or combination of categories) they fall.
We have:

a.)Gifts
b.)Quality time
c.) Acts of service
d.) Words of Affirmation
e.) Physical Touch (not necessarily sexual)

For the purpose of this post, I cannot go into details about each of the love languages but suffice it to know that the key is not to communicate in the language you prefer, but to find out your partner's and exptess it to him/her. People respond better when you express love to them in thrir own unique language and a person can respond to a combination of these five languages.
5. Be Yourself.

This one does not need too much sermonizing. Jst don't try to tirn your relationship into an African Magic episode or a holly wood movie. Don't paint a picture that is not real because soon enough, tge ink will fade and the real image will ve laid bare. Just be you and allow your partner love you for your unique attributes.


*N/B: Recommended for Reading: Five love Languages by Gary Chapman (infact you should own one)
I wish you all blossoming and fruitful relationships...you can add your for us to learn from

A CONTINUATION:

6. Both group of supporters seem to Agree that there is no difference in ideology (though they will not publicly admit this) with the way each wholeheartedly accepts and even raises to a status of 'political sainthood' any one that jumps boat to their own side.

7. Following (6) above, the battle for presidency has been reduced to a scorecard of the two contenders; Pres. Goodluck and Gen. Buhari.
The parties are therefore Secondary players (I guess this one mean say our democracy never mature)
8. However turbulent this electioneering campaigns and e-campaigns may have been (my sincerely apologies on behalf of the rude ones, to everybody wen dem don insult dis period), the signs are positive. Nigerians are finally realizing that we can ask questions, hold our leaders accountable and push for a better Nigeria.

9. From Now forward, elections will no longer be business as usual (every body don shine dia eyez o). Leaders who will not sit up will be made to feel the heat by the electorate...

10. Nigeria is a great and unique nation, the only one of its kind that has many nations put together in one (infact Na we be Abraham pikins). Against all odds we will move on abd march forward. God is involved!

chigo93:
my broda,moses wasn't educated as the Egyptian elites,but God used him,God even gave him a good orator in the person of Aaron.Broda Gej has brought pains to our hearts.Buhari may not be as educated as you expected,but when I see guys like kayode fayemi,fashola,Amaechi,ztc around him I feel there is hope.Thank God you've not lost a loved one 2 boko haram.this buhari case of incompetence is similar 2 Donald trump saying obama wasn't qualified 2 run 4 presidency since he wasn't an American! GEJ campaign shld be based on what he has achieved as an Educated president.

I agree with you that when a man is surrounded by wise and enlightened heads, he should be able to make correct decisions. However, the problem with tge nigerian polity is that the heads surrounding the APC aspirant are thesame ones that have sung the praises of PDP and its ideals for several years. I wonder if that promises change.
Secondly, I refuse to agree that Moses was uneducated. He spent the first fourty years of his life in the house of the most powerful king of his time. It is logical to conclude that he had the best possible education available at that time. I will reserve my other thoughts... Peace to you

Any one who is not open to objective
arguements and logical reasoning has no right
to be loudly opinionated. Any one who decides
to hold on to his/her views in the face of
superior arguements with glaring and well
stated facts ought not to vote in the forth
coming polls...Nigerians must outgrow the era
of tribal bigotry, partisan sentimentality and
embrace truth when they find it. We must walk free of the shackles these politicians have tried to enslave our minds and think for ourselves.

#We need to enlighten ourselves

.

johnie:
Change should be properly defined.

Some Egyptians asked for change. Is it the change they asked for they have today?

Some Libyans demanded change and did everything to bring it about. Is it what they had in mind that they have today?

Change is is the only constant thing in life.

Are Nigerians really ready for the change they are asking for?

Do Nigerians really know what they are asking for when they call for change?

Are the 'proponenets' of change really change agents or opportunists?

Those are indeed searching questions that we MUST all provide sincere, unbiased answers to.
#Nigeria is ours to build

Any one who is not open to objective arguements and logical reasoning has no right to be loudly opinionated. Any one who decides to hold on to his/her views in the face of superior arguements with glaring and well stated facts ought not to vote in the forth coming polls...Nigerians must outgrow the era of tribal bigotry, partisan sentimentality and embrace truth when they find it.

#We need to enlighten ourselves

Any one who is not open to objective arguements and logical reasoning has no right to be loudly opinionated. Any one who decides to hold on to his/her views in the face of superior arguements with glaring and well stated facts ought not to vote in the forth coming polls...Nigeria must outgrow the era of tribal bigotry, partisan sentimentality and embrace truth when they find it.

#We need to enlighten ourselves

Orunto:
Your observations are right. The fact is you don't force a change of a FACE YOU DONT LIKE, Change of face is the Prerogative of God. Even change of policy is that of the people when God approves it. I have just two advice now:- 1, Mimiko should leave whatever he is doing, and go straight to Ondo town to tell his people that he is in PDP to make life better for them................. And 2, APC, if they are praying for Change of Face, a prerogative of God as I have said before, their Team should be PYO/SHEKARAU. THE SPIRIT IN ME TELLS ME SO. GOD BLESS NIGERIA!!!!

Well, while the combination you presented above for the Presidency could be acceptable to majority of Nigerians, I wonder if the Northern power centres will sanction thesame, since their body language largely suggests they are more interested in wresting power back to the north than considering the viability of the candidate.

mulante:
I'll prefer to just state that the observation and conclusions stated above is simply on point. Your objectivity is good enough for me.

Well...considering that I opted for neutrality, I'd say that's fair enough.

tete7000:
With this certificate issue alone, I can't vote Buhari. There is no way a man who is not faithful in little thing like certificate can fight corruption. NEVER.
The annoying thing is: going by the mode in which he attained his accomplishments, he will not see a big deal in promoting people with mediocrity. Giving people (especially the northerners) appointments even when they are not qualified cannot be alien to him. People may argue how has a man with PhD fair with his qualification? That question however rather brings another twist to the drama. It raises another serious question: If a man with PhD seems to be struggling, what can we then expect a man without SSCE to perform?
I don't want to be taken away by argument that Buhari rose to become a General in Nigerian Army . The truth is that Hausa/Fulani controlled and dominated the military for long that getting to the top irrespective of your qualification or background as long as you are from their stock cannot be a problem. Example is what we see in Abacha. It is their attitude of not caring about qualifications that brought so much rot into the Nigerian Army and even Nigeria as a whole.
I personally went to school, studied hard, know my onions, have come to appreciate distinction and professionalism and believe how well read you are determines how you will perform in any given office. I refuse to give in to argument that a man with little education is better than one with higher education. If that argument holds water, the world can as well wipe out secondary and higher education while we all simply go to school to learn to read and write. What is the essence of people spending their resources and life time studying if it can be argued that such is not necessary.

Your arguements are quite logical...

KHAYGOLD:
New National PLEDGE: I pledge to God and to
Nigeria my country.
To be praying, working and vote wisely.
To oppose the clueless and shoeless man, who
said 16 is greater than 19.
To vote out the man that said stealing is not
corruption.
To oppose the man who has drained all
Nigeria's foreign and local reserves and
incurred massive debts. And, with my vote, to
punish the man who was dancing around while
boko harams were killing our Nigerian
brothers and sisters and to say NO to the man
who cares less about the missing chilbok
schools girls. To send him out of Aso Rock this
2015.
To restore our Nigeria & Nigerians long lost
honour and glory. So help me God.''

Interesting pledge! However this your pledge is centred around one individual, leaves me wondering if that is the sumtotal of all that is wrong with Nigeria now, just one person?

PDP Apo l o g i s ts and APC advocates Read My Conclusions...

While I will choose to mantain my neutrality
(obviously not the best I know) on the matter
at hand, I want to briefly state my conclusions
from my thorough perusal of the different
submissions that have been made by both
parties' supporters on different threads.
1. The PDP apologists (and I wonder if thesame
is true of the wider majority) have presented
their arguements with well researched and
intellectually stimulating facts (not without
some sentiments though)
2. The APC 'change-advicates' are in a battle to
defend what has been represented as facts but
seem to be lacking substantial evidence to
support their claims. Their last resort appears
to be indirectly admitting that they might be
wrong but it doesn't matter as long as they get
to see a different face in Aso rock.
3. Following from (2) above, the concept of
change, looks to me like it is not one that is
based on ideologies but on simply getting a
new face in the polity (a little bewilding)
4. There is evidently no love lost between the
supporters from both groups (we no be one
nigeria again?). Hence whoever wins the
election, there is every indication the opposing
group will cry foul (may God help us)
5. The PDP seem to have more supporters
among the very educated (Not to say all APC
supporters are unschooled). Hence the APC
sympathizers seem to careless about the
qualifications and economic prowess of their
candidate. If not, the ideal strategy would
have been to potray more of their running
mate who evidently would appeal more to the
majority of enlightened Nigerians.
************
Just a few of my observations from reading
through a few threads, more to follow.
You can add yours too...

mulante:
15,000,000,000,000 likes

On what side of the divide are you, PDP or APC?

BlackTechnology:
Illiterates will always support illiteracy

That's APC for you

While I dont want to believe that majority of Nigerians are illiterates, I do agree however that we have a lot of unenlightened people (and that is not meant to be derrogatory) who would just gulp every piece of information they receive without proper research or scrutiny. This largely explains why we keep accomodating recycled politicians regardless of their past failings.

#we need to enlighten ourselves

While I will choose to mantain my neutrality
(obviously not the best I know) on the matter
at hand, I want to briefly state my conclusions
from my thorough perusal of the different
submissions that have been made by both
parties' supporters on different threads.

1. The PDP apologists (and I wonder if thesame
is true of the wider majority) have presented
their arguements with well researched and
intellectually stimulating facts (not without
some sentiments though)
2. The APC 'change-advocates' are in a battle to
defend what has been represented as facts but
seem to be lacking substantial evidence to
support their claims. Their last resort appears
to be indirectly admitting that they might be
wrong but it doesn't matter as long as they get
to see a different face in Aso rock.
3. Following from (2) above, the concept of
change, looks to me like it is not one that is
based on ideologies but on simply getting a
new face in the polity (a little bewilding)
4. There is evidently no love lost between the
supporters from both groups (we no be one
nigeria again?). Hence whoever wins the
election, there is every indication the opposing
group will cry foul (may God help us)
5. The PDP seem to have more supporters
among the very educated (This is definitely not to say all APC
supporters are unschooled). Hence the APC
sympathizers seem to careless about the
qualifications and economic tinkering prowess of their
candidate. If not, the ideal strategy would
have been to potray more of their running
mate who evidently would appeal more to the
majority of enlightened Nigerians.

************
Just a few of my observations from reading
through several threads, more to follow.
You can add yours too...

While I will choose to mantain my neutrality (obviously not the best I know) on the matter at hand, I want to briefly state my conclusions from my thorough perusal of the different submissions that have been made by both parties on this thread.

1. The PDP apologists (and I wonder if thesame is true of the wider majority) have presented their arguements with well researched and intellectually stimulating facts (not without some sentiments though)
2. The APC 'change-advicates' are in a battle to defend what has been represented as facts but seem to be lacking substantial evidence to support their claims. Their last resort appears to be indirectly admitting that they might be wrong but it doesn't matter as long as they get to see a different face in Aso rock.
3. Following from (2) above, the concept of change, looks to me like it is not one that is based on ideologies but on simply getting a new face in the polity (bewilding)
4. There is evidently no love lost between the supporters from both groups (we no be one nigeria again?). Hence whoever wins the election, there is every indication the opposing group will cry foul (may God help us)
5. The PDP seem to have more supporters among the very educated (Not to say all APC supporters are unschooled). Hence the APC sympathizers seem to careless about the qualifications and economic prowess of their candidate. If not, the ideal strategy would have been to potray more of their running mate who evidently would appeal more to the majority of enlightened Nigerians.

Just a few of my observations from reading through this and a few other threads.

focus7:
in that case we need a leader with strong will that can break lose from the cabals web and not a weakling who can enforce a policy for benefit of the generality of Nigeria.

I quite agree with you on that point but pitiably we do not seem to have that at the present.

KanwuliaJara:
Story for the "Apostles" with Judas Iscariot!!!

Apostles? Judas Iscariot? could you be more explicit?

focus7:
What I see is that Jonathan is perpetually corrupt, clueless, incompetent. The problem is not about who surround who, the problem is in the quality of leadership. If a leader has integrity he will definitely abhore corruption and his follower having known his stance against corruption will be careful how they go about their affairs even when perpetrate they hide to do it but when a leader is a thief he lacks capacity to reprimand his follower, the act becomes an open glare practices. How do u explain a leader that pardon someone that indicted for corruption and later promote him for senatorial election, or how do u explain a leader who said in the public that corruption is nothing but a common stealing, or how do you explain a statement where a leader asked in public "how much did Nwobodo stole self that make them jail him"? Tell me this with many other open support corruption practices, how his follower ever produce good characters. Op, don't ever try to compare the competence of GMB and GEJ together again, for as far as we are concern GMB is a cleansing agent for corruption while Jonathan is agent to rpomote corruption.

The Nigerian situation is more complex than the picture people often paint.
The problem right now for me, extends beyond individual competences or will to provide good leadership. The problem is that cabals, party-jingoists and political hawks have hijacked the polity. Hence the leader is caught in a web of sought, struggling to impose his will amidst several voices clamouring to be in charge.

Audu Maikori Talks Muhammadu Buhari and President Goodluck Jonathan


I watched Buharis campaign speech
yesterday and I left feeling like I was
listening to my father speaking to me-
and that’s sort of natural afterAll he and
my father are about the same age.
Buhari is an awesome figure, very
impressive in terms of what he stands for
as a person . Indeed i must tell a story –
way back in 1998 during the perennial
university strikes I was in kaduna during
one of the perennial fuel scarcity
episodes. I was at the ungwar Rimi filling
station and had been on a line for 3 hrs
or so waiting for my turn to buy fuel.
And if you can recall those days, fuel
lines were like military camps and people
were violent if you tried to jump the
queue unless you were a friend of the
petrol station manager or a soldier And
Buhari drove into the area in his 505
looking for fuel and somehow people saw
him and all of a sudden people started
moving their cars out of the way to allow
him drive up to fill his tank.
This people did without compulsion-it
was out of sheer respect of him, the
man, the father figure- that was Buhari
(pre -PTF).
If Buhari was going to be allowed to run
the country based on his ideals alone, I
would probably change my mind ( after I
get past the age factor) But honestly
speaking , governance is not strictly
about a single personality- it’s a series of
conversations around different interest
groups and institutions and walking the
fine line between your decisions based on
personal interest or moral values and /
or public interest- which usually means a
politicized decision.
I feel that a Buhari presidency though
well intended will not achieve much due
to the fact that he will try to purge
Nigeria via old school methods which are
no longer practical. He will be the face
but the real machinery will be run by
some of Nigeria’s most “pious” politicians
– people like Tinubu, Amaechi ,
Atiku ,etc. The question is will they allow
him to stop the business as usual
environment they have benefited from to
their detriment?
When he spoke about sharia a few years
back which was seen as very inciteful and
how it was necessary in Nigeria, he spoke
as a devout Muslim that he is- but the
statement was so politically incorrect
especially since you know that same
Sharia implementation led to the death of
thousands of man and women in kaduna
state alone in the early 2000′s This led to
the division of southern kaduna from
northern kaduna and the relocation of
the people to Barnawa and beyond due
to religious intolerance.
When it comes to elections, I personally
feel that we are asking a man who’s ways
and actions are set to suddenly become
dynamic and new and do so with the
support of leaders who were not just part
of the PDP rot but were key players in it.
Suddenly the are born again and old
things are passed and have become
“new”…
Goodluck is far from perfect but I see
him continuing to make steady inroads
especially in the area of the economic
advancement of young people because
the cliche is true – the youth are the
future but the future is now and here!
Has he done well? In some areas yes but
in security no. That’s the fact. I won’t go
into the reasons why not but we should
note that the rot in the army started
many years before Jonathan and the
insurgency only opened the cankerworm
that was hidden because the need to
protect Nigeria hadn’t arisen in over 39
or so.
About corruption having worked around
government for almost 3 years I now
understand things I never quite
understood. Most of the corruption in
Our country is usually attributed to
government and the civil service which is
true but we forget that they need
collaborators in the private sector to
successfully perpetrate these crimes. The
best way to fight corruption is to build
institutions and use technology to fortify
them so they can reduce incidences of
corruption- that’s the truth. You can’t
tap an MTN line like we used to tap the
box telephones at home in those days.
You can’t pass the Lekki toll gate without
paying 120 at the automated gates but
the politicians can set up companies to
surreptitiously buy the company that
owns the gates( hope you get my drift)
and that’s done at top level. You can’t
also fight corruption if you tip a
policeman at every checkpoint instead of
taking the day off and ensuring you get
your drivers license so wecan stop the
extortion – yes that too is corruption.
Why is budget implementation so poor?
because the National Assembly unduly
politicizes the process leading to late
passage of the bills ( in 2013 it was in
July / August same as 2014) so when
projects don’t get delivered its mostly
because of slow passage of the bill.
The other reason is that the
appropriations committees can tamper
with the budget how they like that’s why
a project like the perilous Lokoja -Abuja
road which led to the death of many
Nigerians took over 10 years to be
completed because the amounts
appropriated by the NASS was simply
inappropriate to adequate fund the
completion. It was only when
Sureprogramme intervention came that
the road was fast tracked ( as most can
testify) same with the railways , roads
and bridges etc- why?because the SUREP
funds were better insulated from
tampering unlike many other projects
approved for completion. There are now
policies being put to change this to make
execution more effect off of the lessons
we learnt via Surep on a federal level.
But I digress, I agree that GMB is a fine
gentleman and leader but I also believe
that if I did vote for him I would be
doing so nostalgically not realistically
because there’s a new Nigeria where
people are earning a living off their
talents and passions and creating a new
middle class which was virtually non
existent post GEJ and that’s the Nigeria I
want to be part of…Agriculture is
becoming the new sexy and his
administration has pushed it even more
than Obasanjo ( a renowned farmer did).
No matter how I explain FB or Instagram
or the global economy to my dad now he
may not fully grasp it as a person below
35 would and I fear that I would rather
move forward imperfectly than go back
to the past in search of Utopia.
This is just my view of things and I have
taken time to state it and not berate
GMB – it’s my vote , it’s my choice,
some will say that I vote for hm because
of SUREP. But honestly I do so because
in him I see a man who is imperfect,
struggling with his imperfections to make
things better and I see room for
improvement and change….in all fairness
we are all sort of like that trying to get a
better report card and improve on poor
subjects of last semester. In the latter I
see an upright man of integrity and high
discipline who doesn’t yet realize that
one of his disciples may yet betray
because they don’t stand for the same
ideals.
What do you think?