₦airaland Forum

Kokaine:
i am happy to see the realities of marriage laid down so bare so as to inform people like me who are almost driven by loneliness and ethics to adopt any skirt and call it a wife. behind the curtains, marriage doesnt seem to be an end to all the emotional depths a mans soul can probably sink into as my married colleagues present it to be from facebook pictures. i am presently considering the choice of a contract marriage just to have a kid because the institution as a whole appears to have been jeopardised and replaced with cupboard benefits and blue-sky expectations.

I'll be honest with you, I'm flirting with not marrying and just having children via surrogacy. I have come to understand women marry based on how much you can benefit their future materially. I'm sorry, I'm finding it really hard taking any of them seriously right now. I just can't seem to.

munas:
And who will you put as next of kin? your relatives?

I pity you...

The way your children will suffer in the event that something terrible happens to you along the line wll make you cry from the grave.

When you put your relatives there,you will be surprised to see how they will pounce on your belongings like hungry lions and leave your children out. Dont even try it

How about I have accounts in my children's names which their mother has access to and can only withdraw a certain amount every month, and then they get a trust fund they can activate when their like 25?

omooba969:
The question is 'What is love & What is family'?

Love is a fantasy that we have chosen to build our realities on. Of course, like all false foundations the building begins to crumble sooner or later.

We all know what family is. Parents can love their children, unconditionally, I'm not sure people can love their spouses the way they want to be loved.

He clearly stressed that 'MONEY IS KEY' but how much money is another subject entirely. The fact that the wife's parents are rich gives her the strength to throw her weight around; it's not particularly ideal if she doesn't carry her husband along.

Amount of money is relative, tbh. The most important thing for me would be to be with someone who has an innate sense of contentment and has simple tastes. You can make a million a month and still feel pressure to provide more if you're married to a materialistic woman.

Most marriages & families are now built on the notion of 'MONEY IS KEY'. I am not saying money is not important but how much money is KEY.

Money consciousness is a female thing. Children born in poor homes still love their fathers. Men with literally no job and no money still get love from their children. If a family is too money-conscious, the first person I suspect for that shallowness is the woman of the house.

PS: There's a reason why marriage in the old days was what it was. Women didn't start being this way last year, it is an innately female thing to want to pursue the materialistic. I see marriage going back to what is was in the days of our grandfathers or getting phased out eventually. This current system is totally unsustainable.

MahatmaGhandi:
Men are not well equipt with what they need to know before marriage and are usually silent victims that end up in gallows. The story struck a hard cord and my advise to all guys is not to trust any confession of love that have not been tested and proven by adversity. Avoid the slay queens they have nothing to offer.

Truer words have never been spoken.

LandOwners:
hello sir
please I need more clarification on why you said u won't have a registry wedding.

I need your reasons as I would be learning from you because I intend to do a registry wedding before August this year.

i would advise you to have a knowledge of what you stand to lose in the event of a divorce. How would you be parting with if the marriage doesn't go as planned? Also, not having a Registry wedding pits you on firmer ground in the sense that you don't have to walk on eggshells, compromising your manhood just because you don't want to lose out in a divorce.

WORDWORLD:
@ belafonte, BASED ON INDIVIDUAL UNIQUENESS, EACH OF AND EVERY DESIGN BY NATURE IS 100%. Note the yard stick here is that uniqueness which is that there are not two designs in nature that are exactly the same.

Alright boss.

omooba969:
In as much as I would like to jump on that money-trip with you, I must say that it's equally disturbing.

As interesting as the African culture is, it is also cancerous. It kills every other pleasant stuff...if you know what I mean.

Sad.

Do you not think the pleasant stuff have been killed upon realising respect in his owm home is tied to money? Remember he's just making an observation of reality, he's not setting the rules per se.

WORDWORLD:
My point is very simple. That 10% can be as well used to support whatever postulation of our choice. For example, advocates of Homosexualism use the fact of a tiny percentage of animals who have engaged in same sex intercourse to justify their perception to life. Let me ask you. Since when did Male animals started becoming more 'beautiful' than the female? An will the female become more 'beautiful' if the male do the choosing? How this male and female animals look like is nature's own design of them. Let me make it clear to you i do not subscribe to the theory that male animals are more beautiful than the female for the premise to this judgement is flawed right from the word go. For their anatomy is not the same neither are they of likes and that is why when it comes to beauty contest of the so called intelligent species, humans we are yet to have a contest for the most beautiful human being. How will it be carried out?! Lastly, its interesting when you ask women to tell you who a beautiful man is. Their response is far different from what a man will tell you as regards his own male folks. This post is all built on the spirit of chauvinism.

The 10% is what is regarded in statistics as the exception to the rule. If you familiarise yourself with the way statistics are gathered and used, you'll find there are no absolutes in life save for death. Formulating a theory for the general population based on an exception is quite disingenuous and counterproductive.

Of course exceptions are studied and only so as to find out why they are so. There are humans who can have sex with an HIV carrier and not get infected, but they are infinitesimally limited in number. The rest of us know that's just suicide.

MahatmaGhandi:
Most men can relate to this and it is the silent reason for most seperation and most ladies see nothing wrong with it. They will openly pick their fam over you and expect you to pick them over your fam which some men can easily balance out. But then he starts getting cold cos he cannot tell his wife that he has been insulted and belittled by her fam and siblings. Hard knock life.

This reason is why I'm eager to share my relationship experience with as many men as I can. We, men, have been hoodwinked with romance and love as the basis for a good marriage when, in reality, nothing could be further from the truth.

Women can be as calculating and manipulative as Eve and Jezebel combined and often are, yet we are admonished to enter into relationships with them in innocence. I have decided never to be so foolish as to have a Registry wedding or put a spouse as next-of-kin in any documents. What men don't understand is that we are super disposable, especially in this era of women's rights and feminism.

I won't treat any man's daughter unfairly or with meanness but I will definitely protect myself from any eventualities. Trivia is lucky his finances picked up, so many men haven't been so lucky and they have nothing but bitter tales to tell, and these are men who would have sworn with their lives that their wives were not like that.

When a woman starts mentioning love, my spider senses just start tingling. They seldom have any idea what the word means.

Trivia:
I never thought of it in that light. But I understand you. You are right

He's right in this regard. However, I would like to add that it's not that she doesn't love you, it's just that she doesn't love you the way you think she does or should. Women do not love like men do, and I would be willing to bet good money on the fact that whatever tensions you faced from her parents when things looked bad largely, if not wholly, originated from her mother. Her father might have just gone along to keep the peace with his wife or may not have even known some of the moves his wife made.

If it's okay, I would like to send you a mail, totally relating to this topic, of course.

Apination:
It was never about the money, it's a simple case of character which u pointed out at the end. Marriage is between two individuals first before the families, you are married to your wife and not her family and families are not supposed to interfere in ur affairs but intervene which would be as a result of you asking for their assistance if needed. I swear, I would have sent her packing for blatantly undermining me if I were in your shoes cos it's first your decision as to how your children are to be trained based on your available means and then secondly your wife's support in bringing it to light. Comfort though is relative but such relativism is situational and your wife has no excuse as for whatever action she took which did not align with it. Your wife clearly doesn't respect u as a person but only what u can bring to the table, your marriage is simply one of convenience.

It is always about money.

WORDWORLD:
90% is not 100%. 100% equals HOLISTIC. While it is also true that there are a good percentage of animals and birds that you cant even tell which is which unless you check their genitals. And with your refering to these South Africans. Is the factor here not as a result of mixed colour and not as the theory of women having to do the choosing of a good looking man?

Nothing in nature is 100%. Nowhere in anture will you find 100% efficiancy. That's why you have generalisations to represent truth. Note though, generalisations aren't a problem, hasty generalisations are.

Ubunja, splendid work again.

Jupxter:
If i can make an accurate forecast of events, i can predict that over 90% of the marriages of ladies that read and apply the comments on this forum will end up crashed, i.e. even if they marry it won't last.

I can't help thinking when i read up comments here to observe how selfish, intolerant, self-centered and myopic the understanding and mental posture of ladies that visit this section are. I see them being set-up for divorce, heart-break, disaster, divorce, victims of wrong partners in future, unhappiness, depression etc.


So, i'll rate it that 90% of romancelander females that belong to that " me " clique, have a 90% divorce expectancy. Same goes to any ladies in their cliques they indoctrinate with their armageddon and voodoo relationships principles... Am i wrong or just stating the fact guys ?

Some of my reasons are :

Over inflated sense of self


The oozing sense of entitlement

Lack of understanding

Myopic views about life

Distorted reasoning

Concotted indoctrination being imbibed from their fantasies to say the least belies some of the reasons i feel this generation should prepare for 9 divorce out of ten marriages

Untested doctrines imbibed from movies and fantasies

What do you think fellas?

Ubunja

Belafonte

Sagamite

Gungnir

Leave them. They think they know what's up but they don't. The dating world is filled with older women who cannot find a man and are desperate for one. There's a reason matchmakers are making millions of dollars in their line of business and guess who use their services the most, women. Most of them are young and so still have suitors coming by the boatload. Whem they hit their thirties they begin to realise they've been foolish.

As for me, I'm seriously considering surrogacy. Today's woman is not just worth the hassle. If shes not an olosho, she has numerous dîck she's collecting or she has a stinking attitude, or she has silly expectations. They can miss me with that shît. In the near future, a successful marriage would be regarded as one that lasted a certain period if time, say 15-25 years.

Marriage itself is not a natural phenomenon, mating is. Marriage was designed for the safety of women. Women no longer need marriage, hence its high failure rate. Men would be wise to know what kind of risk getting married now is. I think it's necessary for children to develop but at this rate I'm not so sure. Let's just get it on and bounce, I can get my chikdren from the lab.

Toks2008:
Let them marry first before we talk about divorce.

Lol. Ouch.

WORDWORLD:
Thank you for calling my attention to my opinion which indeed is INCORRECT. The fact is, i dont even know 1% of females on here how can it then be true my observation with respect to 90% of active females on NL. What i meant to say is 90% of the most active females I HAVE COME ACROSS ON NL are not to me wife materials. I dont find the passion which powers their activism reasonable. IT IS FULL OF CHAUVINISM AND IRRATIONAL AT ITS COURSE. *Note that i have only stated my perspective which doesnt mirror yours but only seems to be a reflection of your assertion. 90% of females on NL is no joke according to your title which of course IS NOT TRUE, (you asked the question true or false). Anybody who insist its true owns not a lucid mind. What is true is that there are indeed some really TOXIC FEMALES here going through some kind of emotional trauma inflicted on them by guys who had treated them WORTHLESSLY mostly because these ladies themselves have NO VALUE. And then as well as guys who because of certain unfortunate experience in their life have choosen to remain at one spot not choosing to move on. The see the female folks through the lense of their bitter experience, hence trying to infect us with their bitterness by opening threads that ignites gender wars. TEACHING THE MALE FOLKS ALL KINDS OF NONSENSE.

The only parts of this post I agree with are,
1. Correcting the statistical error from 90% of NL females to reflect active females.
2. That the women here have given themselves to fuvkboys out of a lack of values for their own selves and are now damaged.

Other than those two opinions of yours above, I disagree with the rest of your post.

Yes, many guys here are angry at women because they've been done dirty by them. The question is why is this? Refer to my second agreement above.
While women continually say they want nice, caring guys thy really don't, do not find them attractive and would rather opt for the bad boys. These bad boys do them bashu-bashu and then they begin to think "hmm, badboys are really bad o, let me look for one nice guy that will take me as I am". If course, they have a long list of friendzoned nice guys they pick from in hopes of being in a wonderful relationship.

Here's the rub, Mr. NiceGuy has moved over to the dark side because obviously that's what gets pûssy, and mans must get pûssy. Now, babes is saying all men are scum, blah blah blah. Why won't all men be scum when you want to carry worthless article and pass off as pristine and valuable! Mr. NiceGuy has woken up to smell the coffee and knows how shît works and he's not about to be the loser. He's refused to settle for less than be deserves, and he certainly doesn't deserve a woman who has been used and abused and has acquired demons and enough baggage to fill an ocean. She only has herself to blame really.

You know what's funny? She herself is settling for the nice guy not out of love for him but because she knows/thinks he's dependable. He won't do her dirty like the badboys crew did. In her heart of hearts, though, it's the bad boy that gets her pûssy wet. Mr. NiceGuy is only there as a safety net, nothing more.

The guys who speak her about female bullshit do so out of experience and wisdom, and yes some bitterness. Because who wouldn't be bitter when they find out they've been scammed?

This woman, like most activists, is just in the cause to make a quick buck. They only hop on the bandwagon of the prevailing political and social narrative to hoodwink people of low intellect who consider them divine. Well, glad her day of reckoning is upon her.

Absuchat:
Efulefu,
Which of the motor parks in Lagos is your abode?

Zuzuariwa, onye ara

Asinwin, you're still here? From your comments one would assume you're a busy fellow engaged in productive activities. Alas, you obviously get your kicks from being a nuisance on the internet. I'll be back to see how much more stupid you are when I've got some down time.

Ko si lo, omo iran kiran.

Absuchat:
Onye ara osikwe ebee puta?

Umunnem unu jisike gotechanu ala ha nile.

Kitikpa racha kwa ha anya ebeahu.

Iwo ati awon ebi e ma su kun dale ni.

discusant:
Wow. Lagos is a multi ethnic city; does not belong to Yoruba alone. How can a state governor defy Nigeria's constitution to implement this sort of Law?

Lagos is a dominantly Yoruba state any other tribes , apart from the Egun, are here as visitors. Visitors

PDP is an anti-Lagos, anti-Yoruba party, they have proven this time and again. Jimi Agbaje's antics in the last gubernatorial elections are not so easily forgotten. We Lagosians must resist PDP at every turn otherwise we stand the risk of losing our heritage for ever.

daywatcher:
In France engineering is taught in French notEnglish
In China engineering is taught in Chinese not English
In Spain engineering is taught in Spanish not English
In Hungary engineering is taught in Hungarian not English
In Italy engineering is taught in Italian not English
In Germany engineering is taught in German not English

Given these examples, why can't engineering be taught in Yoruba on YORUBALAND?

God bless you brother. Personally, I would like to see a policy that encourages schools to teach in our native languages. I'm positive it would lead to developing Nigeria faster.

dominique:
Keep loving him, Keep praying, Get pregnant for him and let him pay your bride price yadayadayada. They all seem to be avoiding the big picture here which is, THE MAN IS A FREAKING CRIMINAL!!! None of them even bothered to ask if he is guilty of the crime he was convicted for or not. Abi they didn't read that part ni? The sets of characters that post on this ****ist Facebook group tho, odikwa shady.

I carefully went through the post more than once to see if he was framed or wrongly convicted, nothing of such. So she's very much aware that her lover is a criminal yet she wants to waste 15 years of her life waiting for him because he sends money to her and her mum. The kind of desperation that is eating into our ladies about abroad based men is getting disturbing.

But she jas been chopping out of crime money na.

desreek9:
I expected Paddy to ignore all these people talking cos of envy, who wudnt want to ride on their fathers wealth to achieve something greater for themselves. These are pained and envious set of people that dont deserve attention simple.

I follow these guy on twitter and i tell you, he doesnt talk or should i say type like all these rich spoilt brats, he connotes intelligence which is very very rare.

It is very dangerous to leave lies against your person go unattended and uncorrected especially for such a high profile individual in business. Reputation is very, very important in business.

A lie told often enough begins to look like truth. Shoot down all lies.

benben1000:
She too like Igbos, as she looks Igbo too, I can easily mistake her as "Nkechi"....beautiful people. Isn't her husband also Igbo? Her DNA genealogical test showed she of Igbo descent.

Afonjas will be foaming and looking at my post with bad eyes...YOU WILL DIE ON TOP OF IGBO MATTERS....WICKED ENVIOUS THINGS!

And this is the problem with you people. Was there any need for your second paragraph? No! But the hate in your heart had to be expressed. Well, congrats to you and your supporters. We are now dying as you want. Yay. What an idiot.

Truer words have never been spoken. There are millions of young, nubile, fresh girls to choose from. Date teenagers and enjoy your life.

The fact is that he grabbed Kimani's yansh. It cannot be ungrabbed. The slap is a small price to pay in his opinion.

Stevengerd:
I dont just know why ubunja's thread doesnt make frontpage. E dey pain me i swear!

Fine wine is exclusive by nature. It is not for everybody otherwise it risks being too common.

Always great reading the Miseducations. Like someone said, they are the foundations on which the dynamics of inter-gender relations must be built. Great work, Ubunja.

gloria34:
with d whole hype of how girls should not request money from their boyfriends simply because he owes her nothing or because he is not her dad,I want to say this, no guy should ask a girl 4 sex because she is not his wife. at least, some girls will learn to work hard and cater for themselves with d little they have and d guys should focus their money elsewhere

As usual, you women show the true colours of your harlotry when your source of income is at stake. Instead if telling guys to stop asking for sex, why not just give out your number here, I'm sure guys will gladly fûck you for a fee. Bloody olosho.

Of course, you don't enjoy sex, all your moans and wetness are just fake, I guess. You don't enjoy sex, you only do it for the money. Now, we're clear on you stand. Cheap skank.

chyy5:
Useless Nigerians. God will p.unish all of u. This is how u go about defining marriage as if woman's life and destiny is tied in marriage. Instead of u all to mind your fvcking business and channel that strength in reviving ur dilapidated sh!thole country. Hopeless social media rats that sees women above 30 as if they have committed one abominable offence.
That was how you used your 10mb data, posting u.seless marriage above 30 this and that, cajoled my cousin, an independent lady and a breadwinner in her family to marry a monster.
Her offence is because she's 34, has a very good job and very wealthy.
Everyone on her Facebook will always ask, when are we having ur drink?
She got tired of such questions and have to settle for a sheep in wolf clothing simply because she just wanted to leave the house. Someone she just met.
The monster killed her barely a year into the marriage.
The same hopeless Nigerians went to her facebook wall to type pretentious messages claiming they are pained. Hypocrites!
Leave women alone. When they want to marry they will. Is it ur marriage? Does it concern u?
As for the ladies that will type same rubbish against their fellow ladies, I have nothing for u.
Just because you used pregnancy to trap a guy doesn't make u a wife. Most gals live with men claiming I am married. You are not married. Go home to your parents and stop forming married woman. I served in Akwaibom state, then I have d biggest mouka foam, rented selfcon, fridge was there, plasma, a.c and most Akwaibom and calabar gals I bleep then were doing everything to tie my destiny. In their mind they have seen a guy that's ready despite I'm receiving 19800. Some of them stylishly refused protection so as to get preg and that's how marriage will start.
No bride price, no introduction.
That's the same gals that will come online with their borrowed phone to talk ill of independent gals.
Igbo gals doesn't marry that way. They marry legally.
Society should stop talking trash concerning women and marriage.
As for the ladies above thirty, is not a crime. My sister works with KPMG, she's 34 now and very fine. Not that men aren't coming but you know what u want. Marriage is a lifetime stuff and not a vacation.
There are other successful ladies above thirty and they are doing great.
God will give u all the best husband.
Cheers!

You are a bug fool for putting the responsibility of your cousin's folly on others. Did anybody force her to marry the monster? Is she mentally unstable? Is she the only person who has been pressured by family to marry? Instead of you to shut up and learn from your mistakes you choose to abdicate responsibility and blame others. No wonder your cousin married a fuckboy, you naturally don't have sense in your family.