₦airaland Forum

mutter:
big bumper, Thanks I needed to read what you wrote. Whenever the memories come u again i will focus on your words.

Anytime Model Mother Mutter, anything for you

Another thing you mentioned was the pressure you apply to some of your offsprings regarding studying, my parents tried that with me and I purportly made sure I got my own back. My Dad was the type that always wanted me to be first in class and nothing else, and not only was I required to be first, he was the type that only regarded the first position if you scored 90% and above, he was an Actuarist hence always combed over my exam grades with a calculator in hand, so the few times I came second which I can count on one hand were hell for me, I would go into hiding and refuse to come out, dreading the time he would come home with his voice booming "Busy-body where is your grade result. . ." cos all I was hearing was "you have been playing ehn/what was the person who came first's percentage/you have started noticing boys abi/etc. . .

On the other hand, my sister who comes 21st outta a class of 30 gets mollycuddled and praised and gets treats because she was 24th in class the previous year. I had to ask my Mum why my Dad was like this, and my Mum's response would be "she improved her grades" but my teenage brain was still too immature to grasp this.  So I started rebelling, became disenchanted with education, cursing whomever invented it daily, and physically offloaded my brain and left it in one of the jars in our Biology lab till date

Fastforward to the end of the term and Dad again boomed "Busy_body come here let's see your grades I trust you nailed it as usual". . . and was struggling to pick his jaw from the floor cos here I was flaunting my grade result showing I came 13th in his face with reckless impunity. So when he started asking why my best friend came second, I was like hahaha time to rub it in . . ."Know what Dad I am in class ?A and came 13th with 89% outta the whole school with 160 students, my friend is in class ?D and although she came 2nd in her class, her overall score position with her 52% total is 107th position, so you were saying"


And then to further rub his nose in it, I innocently asked "Sorry I slipped up Dad, but you know I love you and I want to be just like you when I grow up, because you are always motivating me and spurring me on to be the best and not settle for second best. . .so are you the highest paid person in your company/Are you the person holding the topmost position in your firm? . . . And I bet what he was thinking whilst retreating into his cave was "jeez I have lost this my daughter to the infamous-atypical-recalcitrant-teenage-land-of-no-return


And if you see him now ehn, na so so University education is not important in Nigeria/its who you know/its about connection/blah blah blah. . .old age I guess ehn  

maclatunji:
^Funny 

Its very simple na, isn't everything about men a ratrace to be the best, hence reason dem coin the term "human race", and hence they are always ready with their foot on the pedal, revving in anticipation of outrunning even complete strangers at the traffic lights, lol. Its always about going one better to provide for their own so they can sit back preening "my wife, my children, my car, my mutter bought me that tobacco snuff, her brother bought me this singlet, etc". And isn't withdrawing into their cave how men deal with issues

^^^

Hmmm, aki-i-ka Who nor like berra things, how does that my oriki go sef make me too come dey serenade myself 

[quote author=Mrs. Siena link=topic=841533.msg10007036#msg10007036 date=1327059662]Awww thanks very much darling and God bless you tremendously[/quote]

wendybaby:
wow, Big-Bumper, you have a secret admirer.  After reading your posts, I cant but respond to appreciate you. 
I'd like to have a one-on-one with you. Hope I can e-mail you?

agiboma:
lol a beg wendy dont take to much of my time ooo, i need bb more than you, just joking , bb is a blessing im glad others see her in the same light as myself.

Thanks ladies

Sure Wendybaby go right ahead, lovely username you have too, unlike some bland uninspiring ones like horny4u, madlady, chaircover, busybody20, morenike alagolo, thiefofheart, chai wharra buncha olodos 

jennykadry:
@siena
Really, is that right?

Jenny me and you go enter one knicker today oh As twins we are supposed to share everything na, so how comes you have been sneaking off for some midnight rumpy pumpy with first Prince-onx, and then Moremi2008, and now Mayflowa And they haven't even winked at me or blown me a kiss, let alone look my side once, mschewwww All through that other thread all I could think and all that was going through my head was; haha Jenny is standing too close to Prince/jeez he is stroking her hair/God no please don't let them kiss/maclatunji come again you were saying/arrgghhh i wish I could knock out some of Jenny's 47 front teeth to wipe that smile off her face right now/Jenny commot ya hand from the small of his back/that should be me, me, me Introduce me too na, you know I am shy otherwise I would have done it myself

Siena,

The surreptitious why's/why can't i/why you shouldn't 3 way dialogue that transpired between myself, Agiboma and Jennykadry had effectively taken care of this, and like I mentioned earlier Jenny doesn't "talk" to herself. . .but there is no need to point the finger of blame to start rooting for who said what first, as this achieves nothing, until you . . . er. . . Well its iike this. . .tests upon tests upon tests have revealed that the parts of the brain that controls thinking and emotion in men and women are different oh. . .and this is all I am going to say oh. . .for example you men saying to a women "it was just sex" or men uttering "dammit woman can you shut up already you gat issues" or men scratching their heads wondering why women can't read maps, are only unconsciously doing this because of the way both sexes has been biologically engineered differently oh. . .


Right onto serious matter, thanks all the same for showing up, unlike that lazy Richkunt who legged it, how hard can it be to work hands and foot like a dogsbody on a few harmless, toothless ladies like us huh, SMH.


You can hang your coat on the jacket rack there, the kitchen is that way I have left the kettle on the boil, there are 12 of us women in the boardroom already, so that's 12 cups of steaming hot chocolate there. . . And when you are done serving us that, you can get started on the sandwiches, the list of what we ladies require is on the kitchen worktop. . .so please be mindful of those who wants brown bread/seeded loaf/gluten free/white bread/ciabatta rolls/bagels/etc.

Oh could you also drop the tea for now and go help the ladies just coming please. . .you know how we ladies are with parallel parking and reversing round the corner I bet Thanks love you are a sport The meeting is only scheduled to hold for a maximum of just 18 hours, so we wouldn't be taking too much of your time at all But don't take my word for it cos I envisage all the "why was she invited/gosh doesn't she look dreadful/my feng shui chart indicates I can only sit at the head of the table/oh look she is wearing last seasons Jimmy Choo/etc small talks, we still have to wade through before we get to the main agenda of "man, the can't-do-wiithout-enemy within

Hey Agiboma also mentioned somewhere that she is foreign hence reason twas logical for her at the time to rely on her Hubby's recommendation.

2buff:
Wisdom is profitable to direct. I'm not a very PC guy, as over-PC is just plain foolishness. You can't be "just friends" with everyone.
[size=16pt]If you're married, and someone of the opposite sex is making your body/mind act funny, then you can't be "just friends" with the person.[/size]

Nobody needs to tell you to handle it like a responsible adult and give him/her space, unless you WANT to do what you've already decided to do and you're just waiting for an excuse, like Eve waiting for the serpent to nudge her forward on what she had already decided to do so she could have someone/something to blame.

Hahaha, now this is funny, lol.

See as you take demote and relegate and dismiss that wondrous great thing called LOVE as body and mind acting funny, chai Nigerians and their hilarious ways with words

Mayflowa:
This was the OP's post in september 2011. As that time, she was away from her matrimonial home. I see! Most women would fall into your shoes. I hope you know that you are no longer having any affection for your husband bust for this stranger that is why you are now able to tolerate your husband's excesses.

Go ahead, divorce your husband before plunging urself into the sh.i.t!

Jeez, i didn't even go through the link, dang thats a lot to go through though.

Well i used to scream divorce divorce divorce in this family section before, before but what i have learnt over the years is that most people come on here because they want to work on their marriage, and according to Winona, her Husband has changed into a better person.

mutter:
OKAY beatings and being sent packing in September 2011 the last time.
Madam when did you meet lover boy and since when has this been going on?
Was that why your husband was beating you?
Abeg late twenties with kids that talk and earning so well, just curious how that works?

There is no justifiable reason whereby an human being should lash out and hit another, moreso a man hitting a much more fragile woman that is pregnant too. And i know a couple of female aged under 25 working in the Oil and Gas sector in Nigeria taking home more than N1M naira monthly oh.

mutter:
Thank you for the compliments.
However it`s not like I do not agree that parents do not have favourites but not all parents.
I always came across like my dad`s favourite but I was to realise that in my deepest moments he turned his back on me. As soon as things were better I was was back in my position. Today I am being showered with blessings but I virtually had/ have to "buy" them. I wonder if it would be the same if I had nothing to offer. This type of conditional position only causes hatred amongst siblings. You get hated for being the favourite and the others grow up not feeling special.  That is why I vowed never to rate my children according to their achievements or qualities. I want to be loved in my deepest moments in my greatest fall and so I want to offer my kids the same. The worst thing one can do as a parent is to let children grow up feeling inferior or unloved. Every child deserves to grow up believing it is something special, a gift from God, unique in it`s own way. Every child needs to be taught to reach for the skies. Sorry if this is getting a bit emotional. It`s not the perfect mother writing but the hurt child.

[quote author=Shola (f) link=topic=848563.msg10000865#msg10000865 date=1326986856]^I feel your pain, my biological mum is the same.[/quote]You both are human so its your fundamental right to feel the way you do. What sometimes helps is trying to picture yourself in that persons shoes that they too could be amongst the ^{walking wounded blighted by their childhood} and might not have had the best of childhood too and hence life didn't present them a glimpse of the template on how to be good parents, hence reason they couldn't perform up to par when life threw them the curve ball of parenthood

Like in your situation Mutter whereby you had no choice than to walk, yet all Dad sees is his lil daughter cast out alone and adrift, and him prolly not knowing how to help did all what most men do, and helplessly withdrew into his shell/cave to ponder what next. . . only for you to rise back onto your feet better and stronger. . .which of course lifts him out of the deep dark abyss he'd retreated to, to come out punching the air that yay, my baby girl Mutter is back

[quote author=Sisi_Kill link=topic=841533.msg10003656#msg10003656 date=1327011680]Honestly, I agree!!

BB, you are definitely a better woman than most of us. 

Nothing else can make your bad behavior more apparent than someone doing/being the opposite. [img]http://www.xs4all.nl/~ernstmul/images/yahoo/08.gif[/img][/quote]Hmmm, better woman ke, hahaha I see why una don miss road, its the resultant effect of passive igbo smoking, oh dear sorry to see you have been inhaling what I have been exhaling, abeg try not to stay too close to me when I am rollling and smoking my hourly dose of ^{medicated from the prestigious yabaleft if I might add} indian hemp, this will make you have a clearer head next time, better woman ko, best man ni, lol

You bold oh, you nor even fear the chance of Sango or Ayilala striking you with thunder for that fallacy ni, chai you get liver

By the way this is just to coincide with the full moon coming, I will soon return to "normal" so I can retire to my cushy and comfy room and parlour at yabaleft. I worked my bu'tt off to earn that room so I'd be darned if I allow any good behaviour take it from my grasp. Yabaleft it is for me for life


[quote author=Mrs. Siena link=topic=841533.msg10003146#msg10003146 date=1327006500]BB dearie I dont really know what to say am really really impressed seriously and you have won a place in my heart once again [/quote]Thanks for your kind comment and most importantly thank you for being a good woman to our beloved Brother Siena, may your reign at his side as his Deltan Queen be forever till eternity.

Hey congratulations that God has once again considered you and your Deltan King worthy to look down from heaven and blow down ^{another baby} gold dusts from the palm on His outstretched arms onto the two of you all the way from Heaven. . . as a sign that He is happy for the human race to continue. Lotsa wet juicy kisses to the squishy adorable scrummylicious Sienna too

Ehn hen, go on, oya aluta continua, I'm all ears. . .

. . .You never finish to yarn the story na. . .and pls don't tell me I need goggles too biko

The fact that I am still drawing breath coupled with the fact that I now know He knows my future.

armyofone:
I have a small chip in here. worked in the hosp so hopefully my little chip in helps.
hydrocotisone should be use with doctors prescription only. the med has chemical that may leave marks on your baby skin if use for long period of time. I have seen babies with such result from hydrocotisone in the pediatrics. unless her pediatrician prescribes it, pls stay away from buying and using it yourself.

get Cetaphil. hopefully they have it in nig. if they have KFC, why not it's the best of the best. those rash may possibly be baby eczema and cetaphil is superb and doctor's favorite when it comes to baby eczema/rash. corti something are good but ONLY with doc prescription telling you how to use/limited use like ''use for 1week and then stop''.

I now use Cetaphil for my overly sensitive skin. good for baby eczema which shows itself as dry rash in babies, allergen, dry skin and itchy dry skin etc.

You are quite right here, the only ONE time I was prescribed hydrocortisone for my rugrat's dry skin, I was strictly told to wear gloves before administering it, so naturally when I got home, it went in the bin Dokita say make I sparingly rub something for pickin body but make I wear protection, ogini say whaaaat So I ended up buying Aveeno oil and aveeno lotion.

armyofone:
You can try Jenny's Aveeno for babies. make sure it is fragrance free. mosturize frequently and richly.

It is not Jenny's it is mine

Err. . . Na wetin be aveeno sef




@OP

If you have time, stay away from everything that contains SLS and also check for their PH content level, or better yet stick to any of those aforementioned products up here but make sure they have the prefix "baby" in the title, they are there for a reason. And I am not talking stuffs like "baby Makari" oh, mba, stick to baby products you can only buy in Authentic Pharmacies.

agiboma:
Your post made me cry, I wish i could pm you and express the reason's behind my weeping, but i cant post it on this board without being further ridiculed.

Awww, no need to cry honey, my email address is busybody999@yahoo.co.uk. The beauty of this forum is the cathartic anonimity it affords us, so treat whatever you read here as water off a duck's back, we all know that you are only being encumbered and overburdened by our backward culture, so allow your spirit to rise again so you can rise above your situation since you have decided to stay and fight for your marriage and once you throw God into the mix, you would no longer see yourself as a victim but as a survivor. . .it is your Husband who has severe self-esteem issue looking for validation all over the place like a headless chicken.

I will go over your post but from the little I read, you are not staying because you are financialy incompetent but because of your son, despite the emotional hurt you are going through, and this is a selfless act in itself. And you have come here because deep down you think it might be detrimental to your children growing up in such environment, hence need input and advise on how to tow this path. . . So chin up like I said earlier, for you are not alone in this walk, it is the norm in Nigerian society. You will overcome.

armyofone:
BB, kai, you sabi write o  .

mind if i invite you to do the toast for my d-day eh? i get khaki for you and clearance to enter Base
food plenty too

What ignonimy, me that if you look up iyntrovert in the dictionary, you will see it is listed next to iyalode

Haba me that i am just signing on now now and have only just written two lines only and this is my first post of the year, or isn't it two lines you see up there Ehn don't tell me it is me and not Jenny that needs goggles, impossicant I demand a second opinion

Trust this awa gbogbo bigger gurlz to be the first in the queue, who wan miss witnessing Dayokanu-the okunrin meta-extraordinaire finally cornering you and putting a ring on it despite all ya shakara Yes Dayokanu nailed it, yippee, yay See blushing bride, come closer let me pull ya cheeks jare, why shall you shy, especially when it is the hot-to-throt-Dayokanu wey every lady on NL dey shamelessly throw themselves at we are talking about, but who only had eyes for your take home to Mama cookery skills as reflected in your bakassi

silentc:
Do you guys know that lady winona's husband beats her? At least more than once. I was really curious on her case and read a post of hers in sept 2011 which explains what happened as per the beating (see link below and scroll down to her post)

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-758548.32.html

Do you wonder why she is developing feelings for another man? I dont condone a man beating a woman no matter what, but i think she should end her marriage respectfully before moving on to another man.

While what she is doing is not right and she should sort out her marriage (ending it or solving its issues), i thought this fact might be useful as we give her advice.

She has said her Hubby hurt her before, so doesn't need to go into further much details, hence reason i told her she had not forgiven him completely even though he is back on his best behaviour and this is what she needs to work on, which she would not be able to do with her colleague still in the picture. . .

^^^

Hmmm, so many "ifs" and "buts", but one still can't stop to ponder if she'd hhave succumbed if she'd been treated right.

Hmmm, the need to also be wary of employing older impressionable people is also glaring here.

Afterall is said and done, why do people still need in-house househelps these days, what happened to getting someone on as "as needed" basis!!! Lazyness is one hella mofo I tell ya

agiboma:
for you ill do anything bb

Thank you thank you thank you, you are a star 

Hold your head up high, we have seen women go through worse in this section and the general consensus and advise they had been given was "you are the woman and must have slacked/get back on your knees and start licking your Husband's feet/rub his belly/dress sexy for him/hit the gym and lose weight/cook him some good food/give him mindblowing sex/yada/yada/yada . . .

So babes you are not alone, the one thing I always say applies to you too - OUR MOTHERS FAILED US. Nigerian women have been conditioned to believe that the marital home is the "be it and all", hence the clarion call of at least you are married/what has your eyes seen/at least you are Mrs Somebody/at least he gives you a roof over your head/at least you got the ring/stay for your children/the grass is not greener on the other side/etc


And when you complain he is cheating with 20 women or beating you nko, all you will hear is pray for him/the devil is behind this/the devil is a liar/the devil does not want your home to be peaceful/the girl must have jazzed him/don't allow any trifling whippersnapper take over your home oh/etc


Agiboma, and when Nigeria culture dictates this upstream struggle to swim and stay afloat is what majority of Nigerian women have to endure, so what can you do knowing if you decide to jump ship they will start calling you ashawo and allsorts. . .forgetting the small niggling fact that afterall the Nigerian woman is human too. . .


There is one glimmer of hope though and I am sure there is the equivalent in the Quran too. The Bible states that is is better not to marry and remain single to serve God, but acceded to us marrying if we cannot contain the lust of the flesh. People still not content wanted a getout clause hence reason God threw his hands up in exasperation that "okay okay okay you can divorce but only on grounds of adultery"


It is possible to "get" your Husband back if you want through understanding his background/prayer/counselling and the good news is that the Bible describes this selfless sacrifice as longsuffering and actually states it is a gift because for one to be able to overlook one's atrocious behaviour and keep hoping and believing and praying for such person. . .some people can't take this and would bail and do a runner on such man. . .so if you decide to stick with it with prayer and supplication, you are not doing it for self but doing it for God. But hey remember to shield your children from witnessing their Dad when he is under the influence of "that" contrary spirit and is battling his demons. . .History need not repeat itself in such situation. . .Men are truly "simple" beings whose basic utmost need is food, sex, respect and the need to bring home the bacon/provide a lair for their household. . .

^^^

Jenny the Op did not back down hence reason she was backing and forthing till page 4, instead what happened was the people attacking the OP realised it was an exercise in futility and gave up and slunk away. This was why I expressed the distaste at how some peeps crawled outta the woods to throw darts at Agiboma perceived to be the "weakest link", they could see with the women intuition we were blessed withm . . that Agiboma's conscience was now atuned to the issue, and was now attempting to right things, yet . . . 

Jenny it is because your female intuition is on at full blast that makes you always agitated to say "woman you are a fool for taking this bullshi't/if you were my Sister I will slap some sense into you/etc. . .You too could keep quiet due to vanity and the need to be popular and only chip in half-heartedly to maintain some fake ar'sed rep, but you don't. . . But that you choose to come out shooting from the hip instead of ridiculing which some specialise in. . .is a commendable feat from you, and I'd take this over a million times than fake sincerity or people who only post to be popular by playing to the gallery. Keep it up  


I am not taking about those catfight which would not have "come into being" if the other party/parties had clicked the ignore button,, so don't go a-getting ya pata nla with those superman motifs twisted

Na wa for all this charlie charlie of a slowcoach sef

justwise:
@tonak


I'm a bit confused here, how about this post from you in October 17, 2007?

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=86399.msg1592098#msg1592098

Ehn hen Justdunce, YOU ARE ALWAYS CONFUSED so why are you now surprised? "HOW ABOUT HIS POST" huh, all he said on that thread was he needed help for his shortcoming because of what his silent treatment on his wife caused him, so kini big deal





To the naysayers and doubting thomases, the story is real as the nose on your face.

^^^
Agiboma no, no, no, abeg let it go for my sake biko, I nor sabi how to settle pointless catfights oh biko, please drop this, I am on my knees. YOU SAID YOU ARE DONE SO I HOPE I CAN TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT, BIKO leave my first pickin alone

jennykadry:
BB, people had the right to say what they said. It is very annoying when someone supports child abuse because they are scared of what their husbands will do. No one has to take her word for it, it's not easy to let go off the fact that she supported it in the first place and only backed down when people were very against it.  Change of heart or not, she was going for it. Her reason for agreeing to this, isn't a good one, hence peoples replies

Jenny, sure I will never dispute the fact that everyone has the right to their opinion however asinine or pedantic it might be. And one thing i always repeat ad naseum is that i don't expect everyone to agree to all my 900 posts, meaning i am not obliged to agree to theirs too, hence will always call it as i see it. And if you ask around i can't stand anyone being picked on where i am


And before I wade into any issue to post, I always knack my peripheral goggles, download my mantra "IS THE MEANS BEING USED PURE AS THE END THEY SEEK" (RIP Martin)  - then I start looking to see what the alledged offender said/why it was deemed offensive/why it could be deemed offensive/what solution the aggrieved party wants/whether the aggrieved party is genuinely concerned or is just looking for a pound of flesh/if there are other means the aggrieved party can get their point across/motive/motive/motive/etc. . . And this is the reason why my posts is usually mostly directed at stubborn people's conscience. . .


People were also against ngn4 and soapdish who refused to "back down" and "stop going for it", but what did that amount too, nor be say everyone realising no one was about to back down, retreated to their lane abi nor be so. Agiboma on the other hand didn't indulge in any back and forth, someone highlighted the only comment she made, and she came to retract it, SIMPLE, hence reason I proferred my opinion which I had the right to. And I can't stop anyone and haven't stopped anyone from responding to me and "unwittingly" opening the fowl yansh further na, cos nor be me go get the egg splat on my face na, or wetin u expect to find when you go rummaging inside fowl yansh 


This here is the whole summary of why I dive right in when I see peeps being picked on or when I see an inflammatory situation in the piping :



"Cowardice asks the question, 'Is it safe?' Expediency asks the question, 'Is it politic?' Vanity asks the question, 'Is it popular?' But, conscience asks the question, 'Is it right?' And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but one must take it because one's conscience tells one that it is right."

Siena:
Wow. They look great, BB. Are these your products?

Huh Sienna, what product Isn't that your daughter Sienna in the picture in the second link Though the pics is been whitened Plus she is named Sienna too, though has a different birthdate

Siena:
Guys, no need to get abusive. This is a topic for debate, which is what discussion boards are all about.

Winona, your feelings may well be inappropriate, but you've done the right thing, conveying your feelings to your husband. It's a natural human trait to appreciate the seemingly unattainable. I bet if you were single (or the other guy was) your feelings would most likely be different. Because he was available.

Just don't act upon your feelings, and it may be a good idea to keep some distance between yourself and this guy, because it's all too easy to act upon a forbidden relationship. Sometimes the element of risk is attractive, you need to question yourself - would your feelings for this guy be the same if you were both single? Do you feel neglected by your husband? If you do feel neglected, then you really need to talk to your hubby, and work upon what's missing.

Good luck!

www.mrmoleblankets.co.uk

https://www.mrmoleblankets.co.uk/products/design/small-blanket

Thats a non-too chocolatey version of your lil baby Sienna right? Or am I going blind?

Swit up:
hi BB i don miss you die. Seriously though, are there som unscruplous actions going on in NL that will make som haggards stop you frm saying whats right I smell a rat. Anywho dem never JAM. I trust you naaaa; you'll show them haggards pepper. *******Meanwhile i rest my case*******

Hey babe, its all done and dusted jare. Twas a small niggling husband and wifey matter, but it has been taken care of. Na the wellmeaning pokenosers i dey address now jare

I nor sabi wetin concern them with wetin I call my husband OAM4BB, and I wonder what they would do if I speak my whole mind that I was just on a mission to give him small heart attack since I am tired of staying under the same roof as him and my junior wives OAM4Jenny and OAM4Spikedcylinder and can't wait for him to quench, because according to the law as his first wife, I need to stay married to him for 10 years to get 87% of his whole possession. But if I leave now after just the 3 years I have been married to him I am only entitled to 83% pere, mschewww  

Hey Switz, if writing like Chinda is really your passion I hope and pray you really make it, now off you go to start writing the 1st _{2nd cos I think I read you have already written one}, of the hundreds of books you have been ordained to write

[quote author= jennykadry]BB ekuro lo naaa joooo  you still think I am hallucinating, I know what I saw on that thread, ivynwa is there live.

BACK to topic

You were offline when I asked how old you are, you came online and still jumped passed that question, it's okay to lie about your age If you are ashamed to tell us the exact number or ashamed to tell us that you are a old, single and hitting your menopause like ivynwa just kidding darl, I know you are young [/quote]

bigbumper: See i wasn't picking on you when i prescribed that you needed goggles, she talk say she is a Jambite meaning she just recently finished Secondary School abi na who dey do jamb again And if like me she finished her jamb exams aged 9 years whilst I was still in nappies nko
Anyway off to go and buy a straitjacket because that seems the only way I would be able to drag you to the Optician cos you keep hallucinating that you can see Ivynwa's FIVE posts on that thread

Excuse me pass jare

Egbani elaja, how can Ivynwa publicly come to crow like a peacock that she has dethroned Jenny which Ivynwa placed on a pedestal made by Ivynwa herself, anyway I have seen some "head" cases in my time  Anyway me I didn't kuku post any disclaimer not to use anyone's nomenclature. . .

Jennykadry: BB, A JAMBITE can be any age, you never see people of ivynwas's age dey claim jambite? she also said SHE USED TO BE A JAMBITE, I myself used to be a JAMBITE TOO IF NO BE SAY I RUN COMMOT FOR THAT COUNTRY, I FOR STILL BE JAMBITE

Please you need to go to spec savers, I know what I saw. Someone cannot stay away from JENNYS BEAUTY, E TOO RADIATE SO TEY SHE POST PASS 100 TIMES, come onnnn BB, even [qqyou have to agree say my TURA CREAM DEY WORK WELL FOR MY BODY. You think I have not seen you admiring my skin @ night when I dey sleep? face front abeg, ask OAM4J if you want your own concoction

Bigbumper: Went through some of Swit up's  posts, and all you see is a bubbly vivacious outspoken funny warfirianese young teenage character who comes across as someone with not a single trouble in the world, yet compare this to what she deals with in real life when she logs off Nairaland, and this is the only thing she has known for the past 10 years yet inspite of this, is a budding writer on the fringe of being published when she get a book deal or a hundred books as her future is bright. . .


And this is what i have been harping on about to Aunty Ivynwa, that you Jenny have a similar idowuogbo-esque bubbly character to this Swit up girl, hence my caution for her to be careful the way she was going round Nairaland whipping up fake sentiments recruiting people to come and throw the tyre on your neck because everyone eventually logs off Nairaland at some point in time to face the real world we live in and for most, their character online is a maskwell except er. . . 190 with his online omnipresence, well he has an excuse, its like this, er. . . er. . .where is that always-adept-at-plucking-up-excuses-from-thin-air-Jaybee sef, dang he is never around when you need him, oh well I guess he is somewhere on the way to the bank YET AGAIN to give to yet another person in need on NL. . .I stopped counting at 10, may God keep blessing you Jaybee  for your kind and generous heart and continue to replenish your wallet. . .Sauron too is another "ardent" silent giver behind the usual fanfare and theaterics, but he said he has left Nairaland, anyway, may he be blessed too wherever he is. . . 


Jeez, what was I saying sef, ehen, not saying you are quiet offline cos I only know you on NL, but Ivynwa needs to be very careful lest she picks the wrong person to hound and witchhunt and chase out of NL, and succeeds. . . and the person goes find the nearest bridge to jump off. . .so you see why I have been taking panadol for your headache, BUT HER ARROGANT SELF-AGGRANDISING, SELF-RIGHTUOUS PRIDE has gotten the better of her, SMH


And for the umpteenth time, there is no Ivynwa on that thread so get thee behind me Jennykadry, or no better still, pull up beside me and slide your hands in mine so I can lead your blind yansh to the DENTIST to get your EYES tested


And abeg who be OAM4J biko, I already have the sexy spambot panting and salivating after me and lapping up my post like there is no tomorrow and have also added the newly replaced NL google search button to the real men oops in my e-harem so I am sorry there is currently no room in my e-concubine list for any two-faced person biko, but you can tell them to join the waiting list sha

Lady Winona:
Ok then. Didn't knw it sounded that way. I guess I have to develop a different mindset since it has always been my opinion that most single girls see things concerning marraige as either black or white, I would know since I thought that way too back when I was single which by the way was not too long ago. I am still in my twenties. Going into marriage has tot me a degree of tolerance I never knew I possessed. Concerning this issue involving my colleague, back when I was single, I wldnt have given it a second thought. I would have ended the relationship believing it to be wrong, now, I want to keep this man as a friend believing him to be good at heart and of positive influence in my life. The aspect of having feelings was just something I felt that marred this otherwise beautiful relationship and just needed it to be discussed to aid form my opinion

No hard feelings honestly.

Moving on, according to you, you have reduced communication with this dude. Now ask yourself this question genuinely - "WHY DID YOU REALLY OPEN THIS THREAD"?

Wanna know why? Your Darling hubby hurt you in the past which you found hard to forgive until this Angel Gabu in shining armour (your colleague) came with his magic wand to offer you succour and "unwittingly" helped  you restore your marriage to what it used to be. BUT this is what your conscious part thinks. But what you are failing to grasp is your subconscious psyche at play here which led to you opening this thread - a part of you resents or will soon start resenting your Hubby again because if you continue to have anything to do with this Angel Gabu, you would start comparing him to your Hubby "again" and then start unwittingly hating your Hubby thinking of him as less than a man, that it took another man to help you get over the hurt he originally caused you. . .  

FOR YOU TO BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO COME OUT TO OPEN THIS THREAD, YOU ARE NOT EMOTIONALLY STRONG ENOUGH TO CONTINUE TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THiS BOBO OH. Plus the guy might be emotionally less stronger than you. Na just one second is all it takes for a stolen kiss or a quick grope in the office cabinet or toilet oh, heck a quickie full intimacy session sef nor dey take more than 2 mins oh  

Re your colleague, anyone could have done what he did to help your marriage without the boundaries of this STRONG EMOTION that has brought many grown men to their knees - called love. This is the reason you need to flee as fast as your legs can carry you, just like the Bible indicated and stop playing with fire. Since everything is now rosy and hunkydory with your darling Hubby on his best behaviour, and you are still on a soul-searching mission to justify reasons to keep your knight in shining armour on speed dial, "YOU" ARE THE ISSUE HERE AND YOU NEED TO WORK ON YOURSELF AND WHAT IT IS THAT YOU ARE REALLY CRAVING. It is well.

Lady Winona:
I do not want to cut him off and yes I know he has feelings too which I am also not trying to take advantage off. We have already discussed this but however good our intentions are, I only wonder if it is enough. It wasn't my intention to be rude when I asked for opinions from only married couple. I only wanted some sense of decorum in my thread and if u noticed, the replies I have gotten so far are all mundane and softly said. I am more inclined to pay attention that way and not to verbal insults n expletives. You know what, I have learnt a lot from you all by seeing that however well we mean, it can still lead to something else esp when we re vulnerable. I will work more on my marriage to see it never gets there and moreso work on not relying on my colleague for every ounce of happiness I have. It was nice talking to you all. Bye

Wasn't my intention to call you out, just utilsing my human right to use myself as a human firewall so single people with constructive advice wouldn't start feeling bitter about the hierarchy friction that constantly happens between married and non married women, and wanna lash out at you


Here is the link I was referring to earlier. It is all in MissyB and Thecongo's post. Hope it makes sense to you.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-466065.0.html#msg6251233


[Size=16pt][quote author= TheCongo]And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.[/quote]

MissyB: Some time ago, I was trynna understand a particular situation, I wanted to understand why 2 people who seem to be compatible and inseparable would slowly drift apart. I thought here and there, asked maself different questions and I came to ma own conclusion, which seems to be the best explanation for it :
''For everyone that comes into Your life [No matter how much time they spend], there's a purpose - Either to teach You sum'n' or to learn sum'n', to give You sum'n' or to take sum'n' - and when this purpose is  fulfilled, they go and I should learn to let them go, because they've completed their assignment. If I try to hold them much longer than they ought to stay, I might just be creating blights I can't handle'' .
It has worked for me and it's nice to know someone shares a similar thought.


Beautiful story!!!

[/size]

Lady Winona:
@nnamod and ifyalways, thank u. I feel so much better. Already, I ve tried to reduce our communication to an acceptable limit. I knw the feeling will go with time, I just don't know when. In a weird way, my relationship with my husband is very much improved cos of this. I'll explain further. Before I got to meet this guy, I was mostly bitter about all the hurt I had experienced with my husband and frankly, I had no hope that things will ever get better believing the same old issues will repeat itself with time. I have since changed my attitude and if I can find it in me to be happy in another person, then it is possible to find happiness in my husband. I wouldn't ve had this mind frame if I hadn't met my colleague. That is y I am reluctant to let go of our friendship since it's almost therapeutic and will only resort to that if it is going to jeopardize the unity of my family.

Ha, i see what you are driving at now, you are now fonder(sic) of your Husband and things have changed for the better so all you are now looking for is means of repaying this colleague's gratitude, which unbeknown to you is a dangerous slippery slope to be on.

MissyB's seasons quote is apt for this, will be back with the link.


NB: If ever there was one single downright rude comment on this thread, it was yours, what do you mean only married people should comment, is it everyone that wants to marry? Is there some sort of medal for married woman ni? Do you know how many single people could give married women a run for their money, especially the atypical married doormat sheep of a naija woman who has traded their soul just to be called "Mrs Somebody" Sofry sofry oh.

Will be back with Missy's quote. And how did he take advantage of you? He put rope for your neck abi? Don't you know men have feelings too and he too could have been struggling and battling his own emotions? The man has played his positive role in your life, cut him off.

Swit up:
@BIG-BUMBER[b]cool Dats an understatement. With you by ma side am flamzin all da way (((hugs)))[/b]

Awww (((hugs))) to you too Yay welcome on board as my sidekick, but hope you would not be bored sha, because as una see me so, i have never ever been banned, not even by spambot, i never derail any threads, i obey all NL rules religiously, i am peaceful, calm, gentle, and so on and so forth I can see you are Godsent sha, so maybe you will be able to draw me outta my shell one day

jennykadry:
BB I have read people's reply to agiboma and I don't think it's harsh. It does not matter if she's relocated from mars to earth ,what is wrong is wrong. Has she seen a 10yr old help in Canada before? Is it a norm in Canada?. Why do people come to Nigeria and think their fellow blacks can be used as slaves.

As a human being, your skin should crawl, you should say the biggest no and not even consider it ,if someone suggests to you a 10yr old help.

And to think they want his 10yr olds because of their insecurities is stooopid. I can "manage" taking a 10 yr old to train her and give her a better life but taking a 10yr old because they are scared their husbands will sleep wih a teenager is arrrrrrggggggggg

How shallow minded. Wicked people

Jenny, my post was referring to 4 people none of which is a male, so how could i used a harsh word such as "harsh" in my post I knew I was dealing with females hence the 4 gentle adjectives I used were childish/unnecessary/silly/uncalled for


Agiboma only posted once on this thread at the time ada24 recalled her name, so she must have gone through the thread again and seen her "oops moment", her skin woulda prolly crawled at her post too, otherwise she would not have voluntarily come back with contrition in her heart, saying she has had a change of heart and done a u-turn, so we should take her words for it, unlike the others with their resolute repulsive stance. . .and that should be all there is to it.


And aside from the unrepentant OP, it is hard not to notice there is still one repugnant coldhearted person digging in her heels that it is her right to employ a 3 years old house slave if she so desires, so hey I know the moral boundary between right and wrong. . . so all I was just saying is to take Agiboma's words for what she says it is, cos afterall she too could have come back to take and maintain the stance of soapdish and ngn4 knowing the worst that could happen is peeps venting and gnashing their teeth at their computer screen. . .

Swit up:
halllloooooo BB LTNT(long time no talk. Hpe all'z cooking well in your area??

Hiya Switz, whats up? Hope you are cool babe

chaircover:
Ive totally lost the plot   

Bisi care to give me the link to the kickass story. Might learn a thing or two from it.

Richy r u able to not mention my name in just one single post of yours. oto ni nkan ti won ma pe o!

Happy new year our oga patapata the only Chaircover fit to grace the high table, why are you peeps falling for Richkunt's charms to push y'all into the women should be submissive at all cost corner. [s]How dare he wants to undo all the hardwork I have been doing (will explain this latter ) [/s]


Off to go and dig up that post, but promise me it will not catapault you to the other side abeg, ^{you are okay in the 30% location where you are}.  I am having enough trouble as it is peeling Jennykadry off that wall the way she has attached herself to it ehn, lol

[quote author=Sisi_Kill link=topic=841533.msg9979684#msg9979684 date=1326741849]Haba, BB. . .how will Richvkunt know there really is a cabal if we didn't act like this. :p


Re: Agiboma
Not to belabor the issue but while I understand about just moving to a foreign country and not understanding the culture. . .there are just some things that should be a given. We are not living in the times of our parents, where they didn't know any better and educating yourself was like pulling tooth. Apart from the self imposed ignorance, their reasons for wanting child househelp. . .because they don't want competition, is appalling and just plain selfish and one does not need to have an understanding of the cultures and norms to know this.

Having said that, there is no doubt Agiboma is good people. . .i mean look how she took her time to explain the subsidy issue to me. Her believing anything sensible can come out of Richvkunt's mouth is something we're gonna have to work on. [/quote]Hey happy new year Oga Madam, compliments of the seasons

I presume the issue is more of a cultural thing than ignorance, because afterall is said and done, it all still boils down to the Naija man being revered as a demi-god and like some sort of rare gold dust to be worshipped and fetted day and night, and that being married is the definitive crowning thingy in a woman's life, hence women would resort to anything to hold their marital home together to prevent it from disintegrating, even if it requires them to be 3rd class citizens in their own Husband's homes and have to tiptoe around him on eggshells, making you wonder why Naija women believe that is all they are worth. SMH.



Disclaimer: Erm. . .marriage is good oh, and whosoever findeth a good thing blah, blah, blah, .but all I am saying is enough is enough of the atrocious spoilt brattish behaviour of the typical Nigerian Husband - treat your wives like the precious thing they are and stop walking over them and bullying and beating them and reducing them to a shadow of their former selves. Haba na only Nigerian men be husband in the whole world ni