₦airaland Forum

MMotimo: OK, I get it but you know what? There are a number of young school doing it as a temporary measure when their kids are still young. But I do understand the financial implications. Goes back to "not affordable" but still not right to call people names because it's an acceptable choice for them.

Accepted..

excellent news/// May he achieve his dreams in life

amin

Because young school needs dough

coogar: a teenage girl bought the knives they used to kill. like 30 school kids chased the boy into a crowded train station and stabbed him 8 times.

women should take full responsibility of this....a broken home = a broken society.

However true this may sound, fathers too also have abdicated their role

Coogar has highlighted the common symptom though the root causes are deeper.- the breakdown of traditional marriage as we know it

Sorry if it is not PC but that's the way it is

yellowpawpaw: R u ok up there?
With 3 kids? U rant cos u've not met such men!some do worst things. If u r not married,pray dat such men dare not cross ur way!worst still if his family supports him! A cousin of mine,a medical doctor stayed at home for some yrs untill her chilren were secured enuf.so before u unleash ur anger on her,step into her shoe.some can fight,others r d cool follow along type,any time she wakes up is her morning and yes she can still get work! No be naija she dey!

it is easy to condemn,,,,.....

drzed: @OP:
Now that you have clarified the topic title to reflect that it is YOUR wife (or at least not all women) that are allergic to saying "I'm sorry", let me also advise you to be explicit in your post.

You cannot drop hints and clues across seven or eight different posts and expect people to be objective or to understand your plight truly and completely.

You either narrate/summarise the entire story including how her family have interfered, or you invite her to nairaland to come and give her side of the story.

You are probably here because you either want advise, sympathy or a shoulder to cry on. Maybe even a combination of all three. Either way be specific about the kind of interference from her family and instances when she refused to apologise. Without these, how will you get advise? And if its sympathy you want, okay: eyyaah! And if its a shoulder to cry on that you need, then go and get it from your wife...oh, I forgot - she is estranged.... but you wont tell us exactly why. Hmmmm.

Be sincere and tell us the koko of the matter. Otherwise I see no point in your post. Are you hiding something or are you looking for validation of your impending decision to divorce your wife?

And YES I AM MARRIED... for much longer than you and with kids so dont even start that "wait till you marry" crap with me.

PS: The above is a test of your sincerity, maturity and sense of humour.

Sweet!


OP
4 pages no action
are we gonna get zumm zumm or this na nollywood
eucharia vs st obi

[size=28pt]yay.. goal by sideshow bob


golalalalalalalalalala[/size]

torres is finished

that is not a pen,... or is it?

see wrestling \

mata dey weep o

dayokanu: To think this is the dream of some women to be a housewife just because they are lazy.

All I see here is a LAZY woman who is hell bent on giving excuse for everything in Life, Its all her husbands fault

OP did she get a job and her husband told her not to resume?


Her husband refused to help her find a job? Is this Husband director of Employments? If she cant find a job then she has no one to blame but herself. Or other women working was it their husband who wrote applications for them?


After being jobless for a while now says she wants to go for MSc, who would pay for that? the same man carrying all the financial burden of the house ? Would now pay millions for MSc Like DBanj said "You don see mugu"


Monthly allowance for upkeep for what? She eats, she has shelter then she wants monthly upkeep again? if she needed money she would go find a job or open kiosk outside. That Aunty Jane selling recharge chard and Pure water has 2 breast, 1 Womanliness and a family like you


House Chores becoming too much? Are you kidding me? You sit at home all day the man is hustling to fend for the house and you now need a nanny again? Money you cant bring, Work you cant do, So whats the point of staying in the house or how are you any better than the piece of furniture in the living room


He he he. So after you have been leeching the man, you now bring your younger brother to come chop again? Didnt you tell your younger brother you are already a liability to the man before you add him to it?


You wan attend wedding and family functions? So you get time to attend functions and dance at Owambe but you cant get your behind up to make a living? Whats the purpose of your parent sending you to school in the first place?


She can file for divorce and save the man from the liability he has but has she thought of how she would feed and house herself?


Short tempered to kids just try and beat them to death so you can join the Kirikiri reform home. Abi is it the kids fault they have a Lazy mother?

Choi DK this is bad haba!
See as you see the mata finish

@OP some pertinet issues have been raised
Is the house wife working at all
Are there any sort of financial challenges
A woman who wants to do a msc with no experience na waste be dat

What does the woman want for herself exactly

zuokumo: Dont answer this as if you are analysing a movie. If this is a true life story like you claim, then the girl was right to have aborted the pregnancy. The guy is dead and nothing she does will show to the guy that she loves him. Her lofe must continue, while I pray for her that her next relationship goes smoothly. No need mixing up a former lover's child with her husband's except she wants to remain single and continue loving the dead unmarried lover.

NB: You dont have to like this idea, but you have a right to your opinion.

LOL

maasoap: Even with the abortion, if she has been destined to eat grass in her life she will definitely eat grass. In fact, that abortion may be her first step to penury.

Seems you believe in fatalism
What of the scores of people who carry out evil acts to consolidate their power and wealth
Are they in penury

the fact the siblings stay in the same room does not preclude respect for privacy and personal space

Haba.. baffin together

Na so Flowers in the Attic Go resume

ish

ItsModella: GBAM GBAM GBAM!! Birth control, family planning. Those are things that need awareness especially from those in the lower class.

At the highlighted, na those ones dey find girl pikin pass. They believe they can make enough money off their marriage..bride price et al.

Its a thriving business in India where some regions have more males than females sadly due to female foeticide

pDude: If it were possible I would have chooked my hand into my fone and brought it out through your computer and given you a resounding slap.


Plenty in Nigeria? Where is the plenty? Ok, you mean the plenty thieves, boko haram, and plenty unemployed graduates roaming the streets. Plenty your head.

I feel u brah... some of these posts and their posters are so puerile


when u go finish adamawa ssaga na

cotton101: to be honest my interest in African parents in the UK

i was brought up in London and just don't get this, when I was growing up u never heard of Nigerian kids doing this, what has happened??

the way some of these children act these days in alien to me.

they may be of nigerian parentage or 2nd generation but they are now british and thus will be influenced fully by their environment either gun, knife, drug culture

It is reminiscent of the 70/80s children of the Carribean immigrants that moved in the 50s - 60s

These are kids of those who moved over to Jand in the 80s/90s
Just history repeating itself

OCTAVO: Personally, I was raised by my parents to speak our local dialect from childhood, now I'm an adult and I'm not doing bad at all when it comes to speaking good English.
I wonder what the stress of these new generation parents is all about.
It's now like a competition amongst the Elites to raise their children to speak English thereby preventing these little kids from learning how to speak their local language fluently and efficiently.
This has become a general disease in our present generation and it's spreading too fast!
If we the oldies never learnt our local languages, our local languages would have gone extinct.
Must we now allow our own local languages to fade off just because of modernization?
Now my question is this:
Is there any special importance attached to raising a child to speak English language in Nigeria?

Na today e start?
Leave mata for tortoise...

coogar: how many rural women have access to birth control pills? the ones who have access to pills don't even take medicine because of their staunch religious beliefs. some women don't like birth control pills cos they are scared of the side effects. this is nigeria not texas!



the pertinent question remains - if we nigerians don't patronise these kids, the parents won't have anywhere to send them. if every nigerian refuses to accept the services of any child that should be in school studying, there would be no motivation from the parents to send them out to work.

i reiterate, every nigerian is guilty including the useless NGOs!

Haba!
Well you are right
remove the incentive, the act will cease to exist

NGOs have helped sha in their own little way

candygosh: Lol am not high!

If u must know, I do my best to make this kids feel loved.
I drop by these homes and do the little I can.
I waas even plannin this year july on my birthday. I specially wannaa share it with them, tho its goin to be my first birthday attempt aat doin such

So also I believe most nlders here do their own quota too... That doesn't mean we should ignore some vital things.

Other families have been through much worse and still do not send off their wards.

Take the ccase of my coursemate. She sees herself tru skool by doin petty jobs, she's not shy to walk up to the computer centre in skool to ask the owner if she could type on weekends to earn stuffs to take care of herself.
Her parents are trying to make sure they all get educated but situations have been tough.
If for one thing I commend her parents, its for the fact that she waas not sent off to stay with anyone in bid to earn money.

Its ok and i like the story of the lady who is trying to earn an honest day's wage unlike some ladies out there
I hope she acheives her life goals
Your efforts may look small against the sea of need but it touches more lives than you know


Those families that do ok despite the odds may really be excpetions
I have toured some parts of this country in the south south and south east and I have seen poverty
It is not a funny sight


keep it up!

i am not a lewis fanboy but that guy can race man!

He is making the Merc competitive

All points finish so far

He will be a huge factor in determining where the title goes

coogar: you are a hypocrite....
focus on stopping people having more kids and yet you are against abortion. focus on stopping people having more kids and yet you patronise these children hawking wares on the street thus contributing your own quota of child abuse.

what rights have you got to speak against the parents sending their kids to work as maids when your money is what motivates these parents to push their kids to work in the first place? you are as guilty as the parents. when one was the last time you refused to buy pure water from a child in lagos?

you people need some soul searching - every nigerian is guilty!

Instead of Abortion read birth control
If family planning methods and techniques are ubiquitous, the number of children being born will reduce also hence NGOs are working hard in various indigent communities with mothers to teach birth control

However generally some die hard guys believe children are a store of wealth and are against family planning
If I no get money like rich man, I go get pikin pass am LOL.

candygosh: I so shook my head when I read this

To be honest I dnt have to be in isolo before I could give a token of my love.

Of course that much is clear
The point is that house girl youve seen maltreated what have we done to provide succour
That boy that needs 5k to complete his SSCE examination have we helped

Even here on NL, how many of us supported the TeHN drives

It is not about candy so calm down

No parent wants to send his child to any to care for
Economic realities determine otherwise
Dont forget Filipinos and Indonesians also go to Saudi to work
Do they like the holy land so much


calm down...

funky medina: You should be more uneasy with boys engaging in pre-marital sex without a care in the world..or where do you think babies come from?

He is a prime example of poke and run

Jastombutex11: If she were to be my sister i will stand for her and not tell her to abort the baby when i can help her take care of the baby and herself.

You, sir may be an honourable man but unfortunately you can only speak for yourself as we dont know the heart of others

StateOfMind: I swear....! the hypocrisy on this thread stinks a lot! See them quoting bible passages and forming saints. All these girls tagged murderers, who gets them pregnant? Who sleeps with them? For every female murderer of a foetus, there is a male counterpart hanging somewhere too. Why condemn the woman alone.

I'm certain some of the men here screaming morality have one time or the other got their gfs pregnant and gone for abortion with them or whatever!

Some even talk as if they don't know what being a single mother is in africa. Na them go judge and tag them after one, tokunbo even without knowing the circumstance that led them to single motherhood. They would even go as far as discouraging their friends or brothers from marrying single mothers. Some landlords also discriminate against single mothers when it comes to renting their rooms out.

In as much as I am not and will never be a fan of intentional abortion, I can not judge the lady in this story cos I do not know what prompted her decision to abort. The fiance's family may have told her they dont want to have anything to do with her anymore (yes, some inlaws are that mean especially when they have more than enough grandchildren already). We don't know if she has parents who are ready to help her through it all. We don't even know if it was actually a miscarriage due to the shock of the fiance's death and Maybe poster just assumed she aborted it cos he stopped seeing the bulge.

*phew*

You have killed it sir

Tashamania: Nobody is criticizing anyone here. And I'll demand that the MODs of this section ban anyone who even tries to do that, seriously. We or rather, some of us here are just saying how we feel about the whole issue, just the way you could be saying something different from anyone else here.

So, stop trying to accuse any one of criticism. Please!

Fair enough this is a result of prevalent poverty
Some of these cases end up well but some not so well

May God Help US All

Tragic article
Another life lost needlessly

Such a handsome young man

Samurai sword?!

Looking at some of the names they are British of Nigerian parentage

Feral youth of britain

RIP Sofyen

Note is your interest in nigerian parenting or just general parenting in the UK

@ItsModella excellent posts!
Its easy to be an armchair critic but how many of us have even been to the SOS Village in Isolo to do our bit for the less privileged

dammytosh: That is my opinion and i can not because of hypocrisy and His Holiness @4llerbuntu say something different from my conviction.

No need to OVER BOLD it cos it does not change my opinion.

If you are are not courageous and sincere enough to speak loud against PRE-MARITAL sex. Don't come and show me you Priesthood on abortion.

If your wife has a baby that is life threatening and the Doctor recommends abortion. Tell them to allow both of them to die because you are ..............

Hypocrites...

I think the guys here are screaming blue murder because his so called legacy is gone
If a woman is preggers and you still dont do the right thing quickly to cover her shame (ala princess) did you do the right thing
If a woman is stringed along for 4 years, being phocked day and night as part of marital services and washing your clothes and generally domestics tuff and you dont take her to mama, did you do th right thing

If a woman is good enough to be your phockmate but not your wife, did u do the right thing

Its a tragedy and i dont support abortion but until we have social security, protection and spousal settlement for divorcees, widows and single mothers

We wil still shout tomorrow

ish

Lexusgs: So, she should have kept the pregnancy and be tagged as a single parent by prospective future husbands/ boyfriends? Of Which I know the poster of this message would be one of them, considering another circumstance !!!
@least, no be born - pickin she kill !!!!

Some men can be hypocritical

omajali2003: The moral lesson of the story is simple:don't get pregnant before marriage

Simple, as they say women shd close their leg or at least use protection until there is really sth tangible
That love will turn sour in minutes once an unplanned pregnancy shows up

The consequneces are so harsh on the lady
The man walks away and marries another girl who does not know his history

If women abort and are called murderers
why should men who abandon their seed be called players

iphygift: I strongly believe that she is not in love with him cos if she is no circumstance will make her abort tha baby. she also would have tot of the guys family beeing there to help and assist her in the upbringing of the child. She has wronged this guy in death. May God forgive her.

How many single mothers whose baby daddies are still alive have assistance from the father not to talk of the family
Some of us here commenting know of or are still helping that out of wedlock child who was rejected by his father and the mom is indigent or histling
We see them and know them

They are the quiet ones in that group of 5 kids
The one who stay back when the main family go on vacation
The one who schools in the public school whiel the 'legitimate' kids go to proivate school

Guys Letd face it

Single Motherhood is no paradise
Just last month, some people here tried to rally round a poster who was abandoned by her fiance/bf/lover etc
She is an exception in so many
Yet how many people have come here and no one can support

Which man out of you(yes you reading) will train and love another man's child as his own

4llerbuntu: Retarded Comments here.

The Child WAS NOT GOING TO BE A BASTARD!!. There was a father, who is DECEASED!!

if she had married him and had 2 other kids, and pregnant with the third one when he died, the third child is a bastard?


na wah o.


Not surprised at the action though. learnt to expect the worst from our females in situations like this.

bottomline is, she was never qualified to be a mother. That action is the ultimate example of selfishness. all she cares about is herself, chikena.

Like its been mentioned, the guy's family who most likely opt to adopt the child.


Even if they never did, i suppose she is a lazy arse numbskull who is totally incapable of taking care of herself and by extension the child. Cos is she was not, i dont see why abortion would have been the choice.

she was stupid enough to get pregnant outside wedlock no?

Well I understand your comments but you ve not taken into cognisance our unforgiving culture that punishes single mothers
The family of the man may have also turned their back on the woman and child
Not all families will see that child as a reminder but rather an indiscreation which they want to erase

Db boy: Am happy how women of nairaland are defending there fellow women,I would continue to say it love died long ago.
Look at some ignorant reason she married out of wedlock what kind of rubbish is this tommorrow they would argue how ur wife is your better half and how you should will your properties to her,rubbish my next of kin and will goes to my kids must women if they would confess don't mind killing you just to inherit your properties. Do you know what it means to every man at his death bed that he has someone to carry on where he stopped and this woman just succeded in clearing this mans generation all in the name of not being wedded, an institution instItuted by man
Which stands for nothing base on my person. Even the boys family would pay handsomely to keep this baby as a remembrane of there dead son.

For the fellow attacking nigerian females as wicked and so
Some guys have made comments supporting her action

Try and divorce sentiment from facts
Not everything is about property
If it was your sister, what will you do