₦airaland Forum

pizzylee:
No just a girl u like n u saw her with a guy(bf or not)

Oh! of course.

You no wan approach her?
Approach the girl naw

Anigreat:





Good one



Only if the boy will agree to go to school.

Lol, why e no go agree go school.
From dust to sit among Princes, wow.

-That`s my every day testimony since I gave my life to Jesus.

Tonto but you just revealed the position of the Camera naw.

calddon:
The money was stolen and he was intentionally assassinated.

insider attack, start the investigation from his office.

him entering danfo was also callous from a security point of view.

Reminds me of a man whose cash was stolen after leaving the bank. He simply returned to the bank, went straight to the cashier and gave her a dirty slap saying: "where is my money", while the chaos was on going over the slap and the branch manager was trying to understand the matter behind the slap a call came through via the cashiers phone, as oga branch manager picked the call a male voice from the other end of the phone said: "nne we don collect the moni"...rest was history

My bradah! Tell me something

hahaha that first picture of Laura Ikeji na die

BruncleZuma:
Mehn I loved those two guys until Basket begin form fresh English comedian and Bovi turn joke recycler...

I remember the point he started forming frosh and remember thinking to myself, "BasketMouth this may ruin your career"
How can one modify one`s selling point?

dania30:
it's all sarcasm!

Do you understand what sarcasm means? If yes, kindly explain where the sarcasm is in his comment. Because I don`t see it from my own understanding of sarcasm. Just explain how it is sacarsm.

sonsomegrigbo:
Fellow nairalanders, please read and make suggestions


A child will go to school by 7am and close by 5pm for five days out of the seven days in a week.

During weekends that child comes home with many assignments in all the subjects he or she is offering in school. So there won't be time to rest and play through out the weekend.

The child does that for almost four months hoping to enjoy the holidays only for schools to come up with a scam in the name of holidays lesson.

What exactly do you want to teach that child?

Dear Nigerian parents, summer holiday is a period you allow a child to experience other things in life apart from formal education.

Allow them to travel for the vacation and if you don't have money for vacation, take them to a place where they will learn new skills.

Let them go and learn how to draw, computer coding, how to play football, martial art, learn business, catering, tie and die, learn foreign languages etc

Allow this children to explore life.

Everytime Book book book that is why most of our youths are unemployed because they can't do any other thing apart from white collar job.


May God help and bless our children.

Thank you very much.
Una dey hear?
How pikin go comot house 6am, come reach house 5pm when im no be Worker?
Some parents sha!

Nonymartin:
wife material

You get money??

cassidy1996:
auntie big yansh, shut the crap

Don`t mind her.
Your husband wasn`t rich?
Comparing what you had and what he had, who was richer when you met him?

This woman keeps dishonouring her man in my view.
Omotola, your husband is a real man!!!!!

Please give me one.

FortifiedCity:
How will you keep kids away from their Dad for a whole 6 years??

Haba!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Iyabo Ojo, fear God naaaa

How will a responsible dad not do all that he cn to see his children for 6 years?
Does he not know her parents house or any of her relative to trace her and hence his kids assuming she hid them?

pizzylee:
Good morning to those who woke up alone, the rest of you can collect yours from your partner.

I no know why funny people just full Nairaland like this lol

Pizzylee abeg explain your Personal Text,"being jealous for someone dtz nt urz is prolly d most unexplainable feeling".
As per another person girlfriend?

I didn`t really get the story: Was it the driver who was celebrating the purchase with his friends?
Or the driver and buyer are different?

Giddymoney:
If dem like make dem carry 77th na their business

Thank God I am done with exams

hahahaha...This your meme wan tear my throat. You head correct well well.
Me and you resemble for this area o lol

But o, how ABUAD go beat Covenat? Una sure say dem never hack their website??

Kingsleychris1:
The epistle is too long..
I need a summary so I can make my comment..

You need to read it line by line. it is so so interesting.

He is still with his neck collar gotten from teargas?

Naijawebmaster:
Many people especially women will find this berating which is totally okay. But I do not think Punch used it with the intentions of berating her or women in general.

I believe they used it because that description will attract the curiosity of readers( which actually did). If they used her name, it may not have gotten the desired attention.

In media, headline sells. Same way bloggers will start headlines with...Wizkid's Ex... Tuface's baby mama...etc.

Need a reliable and professional website design? Then check my signature No advance payment required.

Don`t mind them.
To the pure, all things are pure.
Jubril mind no pure.

naptu2:
Sterling Bank tweeted an advert that was interpreted as a diss towards other banks. The symbols of other banks were incorporated into the advert.

Some of the other banks responded with shades of their own, but GTBank did not respond.

Then rumours emerged, the next day, that GTBank had reported Sterling Bank to the Central Bank (CBN). CBN rules prevent banks from demarketing their competitors. Demarketing means spreading rumours, creating adverts, etc in order to discourage people from using the services of your competitor.

Sterling Bank has now apologised for the advert and deleted the tweet.

https://mobile.twitter.com/Sterling_Bankng/status/1021839707070754822

GTB no try at all.
It was a wonderful campaign. I totally enjoyed it.
The best brand awareness I have ever seen.

I dislike GTB so much.
They shouldn`t have asked them to take down the tweet. Of course we the customers knew it was not de-marketing mtcheew

The answer is easy nah..wo I don`t feel like talking today.

bjayx:
Lol...I'm not. Thanks

Oya talk to Mama, wharrapind?
Ayam listening..

Jacktheripper:
Like everyone, appearing smart during meetings is my top priority. Sometimes this can be difficult if you start daydreaming about your next vacation, your next nap, or bacon. When this happens, it’s good to have some fallback tricks to fall back on. Here are my ten favorite tricks for quickly appearing smart during meetings.

1. Draw a Venn diagram

Getting up and drawing a Venn diagram is a great way to appear smart. It doesn’t matter if your Venn diagram is wildly inaccurate, in fact, the more inaccurate the better. Even before you’ve put that marker down, your colleagues will begin fighting about what exactly the labels should be and how big the circles should be, etc. At this point, you can slink back to your chair and go back to playing Candy Crush on your phone.

2. Translate percentage metrics into fractions

If someone says “About 25% of all users click on this button,” quickly chime in with, “So about 1 in 4,” and make a note of it. Everyone will nod their head in agreement, secretly impressed and envious of your quick math skills.

3. Encourage everyone to “take a step back”

There comes a point in most meetings where everyone is chiming in, except you. Opinions and data and milestones are being thrown around and you don’t know your CTA from your OTA. This is a great point to go, “Guys, guys, guys, can we take a step back here?” Everyone will turn their heads toward you, amazed at your ability to silence the fray. Follow it up with a quick, “What problem are we really trying to solve?” and, boom! You’ve bought yourself another hour of looking smart.

4. Nod continuously while pretending to take notes

Always bring a notepad with you. Your rejection of technology will be revered. Take notes by simply writing down one word from every sentence that you hear. Nod continuously while doing so. If someone asks you if you’re taking notes, quickly say that these are your own personal notes and that someone else should really be keeping a record of the meeting. Bravo compadre. You’ve saved your ass, and you’ve gotten out of doing any extra work. Or any work at all, if you’re truly succeeding.


5. Repeat the last thing the engineer said, but very very slowly

Make a mental note of the engineer in the room. Remember his name. He’ll be quiet throughout most of the meeting, but when his moment comes everything out of his mouth will spring from a place of unknowable brilliance. After he utters these divine words, chime in with, “Let me just repeat that,” and repeat exactly what he just said, but very, very slowly. Now, his brilliance has been transferred to you. People will look back on the meeting and mistakenly attribute the intelligent statement to you.

6. Ask “Will this scale?” no matter what it is

It’s important to find out if things will scale no matter what it is you’re discussing. No one even really knows what that means, but it’s a good catch-all question that generally applies and drives engineers nuts.

7. Pace around the room

Whenever someone gets up from the table and walks around, don’t you immediately respect them? I know I do. It takes a lot of guts but once you do it, you immediately appear smart. Fold your arms. Walk around. Go to the corner and lean against the wall. Take a deep, contemplative sigh. Trust me, everyone will be shitting their pants wondering what you’re thinking. If only they knew (bacon).

8. Ask the presenter to go back a slide

“Sorry, could you go back a slide?” They’re the seven words no presenter wants to hear. It doesn’t matter where in the presentation you shout this out, it’ll immediately make you look like you’re paying closer attention than everyone else is, because clearly they missed the thing that you’re about to brilliantly point out. Don’t have anything to point out? Just say something like, “I’m not sure what these numbers mean,” and sit back. You’ve bought yourself almost an entire meeting of appearing smart.

9. Step out for a phone call

You’re probably afraid to step out of the room because you fear people will think you aren’t making the meeting a priority. Interestingly, however, if you step out of a meeting for an “important” phone call, they’ll all realize just how busy and important you are. They’ll say, “Wow, this meeting is important, so if he has something even more important than this, well, we better not bother him.”

10. Make fun of yourself

If someone asks what you think, and you honestly didn’t hear a single word anyone said for the last hour, just say, “I honestly didn’t hear a single word anyone said for the last hour.” People love self-deprecating humor. Say things like, “Maybe we can just use the lawyers from my divorce,” or “God I wish I was dead.” They’ll laugh, value your honesty, consider contacting H.R., but most importantly, think you’re the smartest looking person in the room.

WRITTEN BY:SARAH COOPER

hahahaha...Mr S always does 6,8,and 9 o. All three of them.
He must go out go answer phone call
The only person I know that asks anyone to go to previous slide is Mr S. For some some reason, I found it annoying.
Mr S would always ask if it is "scalable" (wetin this kain question even mean sef?)
I am so sure he does every single point you have listed here.
I will watch him in the next meeting

joa2013:
My wife and her family members are driving me crazy. Their involvement in my home is becoming embarrassing. I may have to give my wife the red card asap. Her family poke noses into all my affairs. How I spent my money, who I give my money to, who I visit, and so on. All they want is to continue to expend money on them and live my life for them. I got their daughter a job, her salary isn't enough for them, how can I be taking care of able bodied men who have refused to work with their certificates, looking for jobs with good pays before they'll work, their pensioner father is not also helping matters, very difficult to please. I have made it known to my wife that our marriage contract did not include pleasing her family members but she won't listen then I worked my transfer from Lagos to Abuja, yet they're on my neck. My wife's younger brother is presently in Abuja without any clear cut mission other than to come and monitor my affairs. He called me around 7pm yesterday to tell me he's in Utako and that I should come and pick him from pack, I told him I didn't invite him to Abuja so why should I pick him up? I asked him if he didn't have a mission before coming and why he should get to Abuja before notifying me that he's coming to my place. I shunned him and switched off my phone. I switched on the phone now only to read 3 abusive text messages from my wife and one from her father threatening that if anything happens to his son, I'll be held responsible. My people, can you see my life? My pastor have been trying to broker peace between us before I left for Abuja to no avail, what I intended to do is to settle down here and get her relocated so that if she's a bit far from her family, things will work out. I'll instruct a lawyer to file divorce papers tomorrow, I can no longer take it.

Thank God sha, me I kukuma know myself.

Mowunmiaf:
Veteran showbiz couple, Tunde and Wunmi Obe (T.W.O) just celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary and 30 years of friendship.

The pair has now shared the exciting journey of their life and career and how they have managed to stay off controversies in their marital life and music career.

They revealed this in a new interview.

See excerpts from the interview below:

How have you been able to stay together as a couple for 20 years and also a musical duo for 30 years?

Tunde: When we first came together, it was more like a professional relationship; later we found out that we had a connection. I think the point of attraction then was that we both recently lost our fathers. And our fathers were like the main breadwinners in our families, and a lot of people could not understand this. When you are used to a certain lifestyle and then you lose a parent, things change.

We both understood that and connected at that level, and then we realised that we had more common interest other than music; we started finding excuses to rehearse vocally on our own, which is professional. But half of the time, we were talking our own things and things progressed from there. Why I am giving you this background is to let you know that we didn’t purposely juggle anything.

The friendship happened naturally and this was due to the talent we shared. If we have been together for thirty years, which means that I was 20 when we met, that means I have known her almost half of my life. So, for me being with her is beyond reason; there is a genuine friendship and I think that is what it is. Our marriage is based on friendship first before any infatuation or love. Love is important but friendship and the respect we have for each other is what has kept us together for these years.

Source: http://aftrending.com/tunde-and-wunmi-obe-reveal-what-kept-them-together-for-30-years/

TWO I think you guys should shock the orld by slimming down. Under doctor supervision.
If you can, and you advertise for any "Slimming Brand", it would sell.
#Opportunities

stand by your hubby Georgina, he needs you now.
You might need him later.

This is what ExtraExtra wanted to do to HEseesall, but she outsmarted him.

sisisioge:
4. You spent your own money on your parents's house

An unselfish man would have spent it on both his parent`s house as well as his wife parents` house.

HEseesall you better be very smart.
Hold on to that house for your children`s sake o.
This man fit do you 9-9 for future.

appsdope:
By the way since when did get the hell out of my house become a joke? How will we know if you meant it? She bought the land and started the project so how on earth are you supposed to own the property? The house shouldn't be in your name in the first place. The property is hers. Rent an apartment and move your family that's if you still want the marriage. As for the house, it belongs to her. Go and build your own. As for me, I cant stay in a house where a woman bought even the spoon. Because when you use that spoon to eat and there is an issue, she will tell you how that spoon she bought has been saving your life forgetting that you bought every other thing.

God bless you a hundred fold for speaking the truth.
The fact that he is not sorry as well as manipulative just dey vex me!

cc: ExtraExtra, HEseesall

tabithababy:


Hope she has changed the name to yours now

Mtcheeeeew

The greatest mistake she made is that she supposed to have used her own part of the money to take care or build house for her parent as well

My Sister! See me o.

Eketem:
As for your story with your wife, you should not have told her to get out of a house you both built,
Edit :

I just read the [b]manipulative [/b]part of the post where you want her to choose between the house and her kids, you want bad person abeg. I blame her for wanting to hang on with this rudeness

Very manipulative soul he is (Extraextra).
I hope HEseesall is as smart as she has been so far. This man go too show am pepper for future.

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

You were the one that displayed stupidity.
Why did you give your wife a reason to doubt you?
You didn`t mean it when you asked her to pack out? Yeah right. Why won`t you say so when she outsmarted you??
How can you tell a woman, your wife, who feels insecure about your fidelity to pack out? I don`t get.

HEseesall better hold on to that house.
You outsmarted another one.

ChristianNorth:
Thanks for your concern.

I don't just want be drown in the conversations of some zealots and haters.

I like your signature; nice campaign