₦airaland Forum

When you throw a punch and end up somersaulting 100 times from you own impact .

bukatyne:
We courted for 8yrs (catch them young things ) and what I didn't learn/know in 8yrs it is 3mths I will learn?

Lol, true. Wow 8 !!! Me go don tire .

Parents need to be very wary, anybody can be sick these days . For the mother's mind " I left her with my sister, can't leave my child with a stranger oo" .

Just remove your mum from harm's way, face your home and don't go dragging for inheritance.

Creamish:
Hahaha... nice! I rily want a daughter now tho...just 1. ..a lookalike. Dunno how my mum handled 3 babes but she did a great job. Wish I took notes early enuff but I know I can handle one female child.

If not that babies terrify me now,this is just the right time to seek out a babe or two,when I have defenders in place to champion their course .

Creamish:
Lolz. .. UV got a phobia for female kids.. I see ur point.. but then again some male kids come with drama..eg Denrele .

Regardless of the gender of my kids, raising them right determines the level of headache I'll have. Cultism issues is my biggest scare for male kids so I'm thinking of taking mine abroad for their Bsc and Masters... Naija universities get as they be...

Actually I have a phobia for babies generally now. I rather carry another's child and return it quickly when the euphoria of babysitting wanes, I don't want any for keep anymore . Am scared of cultism too, I just focus on grooming their conscience, guiding and backing up with prayers.


Not really a phobia for girls, but an over protective kind of love . A lot of odds are against them just by virtue of their gender and I hate that passionately. I just love them way too much and if i had them, they will probably be amazons. Being that delicate flower is a hard pill for me to swallow. Imagine trying to correct a barber and he goes " is it a woman that will teach a man how to cut hair"? I had to let him know that this woman here is paying for your services and so you will do exactly as she says, he eventually apologised because he didn't see the drama coming . So annoying!



In an ideal world, I would love to have 12 daughters but in reality...let me hoard my daughters till Africans' perception of women changes. My girls need to play on a level ground, I hope I won't be sterile by then .

thelish:
nor mind me, I don high

thelish:
buy d ones ur power n money reach oo. The weather is hard. Nobody gives award for best wedding. Who food nor reach, go eat for house.

I no be OP nah . If the person can't sponsor a big wedding, the best is to have a morning mass wedding, then a little traditional gathering with both kinsmen only.

Knightngale:
I gave my views but wanted honest opinions, your answer to me betrays your other submissions in this same thread.

Actually the truth in your heart betrayed your effort to romanticise the female child, it's obvious from your hiding behind curtains that a male child matters a lot to you. My submission is a clear as day, I don't seek approval, so I state it as it matters to me. You can't accept my response as honest because you are far from honest by projecting the opposite of what you mean, then lace it with sugar icing to confound...I wonder who.

Knightngale:
you were not completely honest with this answer.

This shows that you don't even believe your original post, you created this thread to get something brewing . Tell us the honest answer you anticipated.

Nyceguy92:
Exactly the point I made in my contribution.
One is a lot of stress already, both in terms of time off work or other pursuit.
And the finances, too.

I personally don't see why I won't make all the hassles end in a day. The lesser the stress, the better.

cococandy:
I have no doubt that if you were to raise a Daughter, she'd be a strong woman.

Don't underestimate yourself.

Coco...
That's very encouraging, thanks dear . I really do worry too much.

Pidggin:
The care that money will buy you is from some else's daughter If they were scared to raise a girl because she needs only protection, how would she become a responsible, nurturing adult to take care of you?

All children need protection, not just girls, and it's not the only thing they need, they also need care, love, stability, etc. Your own nanny can molest your son, your neighbors can also do same.

I will feel the need to protect my kids whether boy or girl. But this is not entirely what having kids should be about.

Who said the carer must be a girl? If you read carefully and not in a hurry to jump on the post you would have read clearly that every child needs their parent's protection and guidance. My discussion with my E buddy about my opinion on gender matters shouldn't be a standard to raise an obviously unnecessary arguments. There is no weak link to tie here, you are not bringing in any new dimension.


Sorry you got it mixed up here,I am a very protective parent and don't have to do the nanny shi*t because I know my nanny can molest my son, try again. I just hope you know that your caring ,compassionate ,female nanny can also molest your daughter . I don't know what having kids is all about to you but if protecting them don't top your list of priority, now that's what I will call weird.

Pidggin:
You seem to only focus on protecting girls as if females are invalid Your perception is so weird. You deal with girls as you claim, but you can't see past the need to protect them from who? Boys? Boys also need to be guided too so they don't fall into gangs and vices. Train up a child in the way he or she should go, and they will never depart from it.

I find girls quite compassionate and especially caring to elderly parents. When you have to depend on your daughter-in-laws for care in old age you will understand this.

Money can buy care, it doesn't have to be your DILS. I don't know about you but to me, yes, girls need protecting. What I claimed still made me see 1million reasons why they need protection and exactly what their parents were trying to do which left them in my care. Who said boys shouldn't be raised or protected? You are the one with the weird perception here because your eagerness to twist and turn my perception won't even let you admit that a girl is mostly at the losing end when shi*ts go down . Believe what you want to believe but you surely do know the reality which is far steeper than your fantasy world .


You can be the flag bearer and lead the match so girls can bare their chests without tops, after all they are no different from boys. Do you have a daughter? If you don't feel that need to protect her then it's a problem.


Is always better to just respects people 's perception and state yours, I am very protective and will be much more so with a daughter. If its weird to you, your weird is my normal then. Why can't you also see past the fact that a boy can be more caring than a girl or you don't know boys are compassionate too?

bukatyne:
Any couple waiting for 3mths to their wedding to learn any fantastic thing has obviously played during courtship and might not be ready for marriage after all.

Lol, abi...

bukatyne:
Lols!

I have heard some mothers say that too.

I love a morenikeji o!

I agree a teen girl is an effective sleepless pill.

I deal with teen girls on daily basics so I have an idea of what's like to have them around. There is nothing I won't do to protect my female child, so everyone is safer that I don't have one to protect.


Girls are so adorable, but I rather not have them. Let mine remain safe wherever they are. No one will come to my house yarning some gibberish about seeing ripe agbalumo just to take away my child. Then what if she doesn't have balls to deal with life issues? She will call me crying when hurt abi? That will shatter my heart, I just can't, maybe God knows that I can't deal. I pray it remains as it is.

Knightngale:
ok, when there are no males, do you think the females fit in just fine?

Any child fits in wherever the parents want the child to fit, do you think otherwise?

Knightngale:
it's not about me. It is true though, but the female child shows more care.

Not necessarily true, when there are no females. The boys fit in just fine.

1)I hide my Eba inside our cloth basket because I really hated that dish and they won't stop serving it.

2) I spread some of my spaghetti on the window for it to dry, then I take it to school and munch it as part of my snack during break, you wan try the begging?


3) I always buy Gelusil or Vitamin C with my offering money, courtesy of our house girl who taught us how to spend Sunday offering.

4) I wash my socks in the morning and roast it on our stove afterwards.

5) I was in primary 1 when they asked the king of my village, I said it was my dad. I thought he was a king for whatever reason .

6) During Xmas period in the village , I hunt dozens of grasshoppers, pour them in a bottle, fill it up with water, then bury them in match boxes when they are dead. After which I make a cross with broom stick. 0


7) I always thought I can marry my dad when I grow...and Micheal Jackson too .


My hostel mistress made the mistake of sending me to her farm to weed as a form of punishment, I weeded everything green because I couldn't tell the pumpkin, the potatoes from the actual weed. It was my first experience in a farm, if it was possible she would have expelled me for that act .

Bukatyne tell me the meaning of that name,is it same as Nike?

bukatyne:
@knightngale:

While there might be no 'advantage' of having male sons (as wives & kids now bear the first name of their husbands; husbands change the family name on religious grounds; women sometimes hyphenate their fathers & husband's surnames), every parent desires both sex children and the drive for same sex child aka mini me is also very strong.

Now we see gender barriers crossed societally still nothing beats a son a father can mold to be greater than him... Nothing like a father having his replica to carry the torch of his ideals to the next generation.

I wonder how mothers with only boys cope; (I know one who cried her eyes out in the DR when her last was a boy) I must have a morenikeji... a daughter I can pour myself into and watch grow from a baby to a woman of virtue.

So bearing a male child/ the desire to bear a male child will forever be relevant.

To be honest that mother is a drama queen. Boys are easier to understand and deal with, I won't miss not talking about menstruation, boys/pregnancy this n that and all those yucky gists. Nah to shift these ones go their papa side for solutions biko. Me no get strength for tactical approach 101. As for inheritance and other related angles, that part no concern me jare. Our society isn't favourable to ladies, nature isn't too, a daughter will make me think too much . Am too protective, what will I do if my daughter comes with sob stories? Things like this worry me a lot because my solution will be come home to mama .

cococandy:
I'm fine darl. Still dragging my lazy ass in bed.

Have to get up and go to the gym and then go to work.
Gosh why is today Monday. Why can't everyday be Saturday?

Wish the gym can fit into my schedule. I left work since 11.00 am (on code though ). Lazy is cool mehn...a total luxury!


You can make everyday your Saturday nah, that one no hard .

keypad1:
i like ur contribution bro. But the serving of drinks and food was only for the traditional period right? Becuase i was thinking food cant be served in both celebration

There won't be enough time for people to think of food before traditional wedding commences. Most people come for reception only and not the church part of the whole thing, so most of your guest will naturally arrive when the traditional wedding has already started. Just one serving but is always better to make the food surplus. We made the food surplus, made several types of rice , Eba + 3 different soups and make sure no one goes home on empty stomach. Buy enough drinks too and you are good to go. People will go home happy and you are satisfied too. Food is served once.

cococandy:
yes Aunty

That's why I like you

Real aunty, how your side dear?

keypad1:
nice one byvan......am glad to hear from you. Which come up first? The trad or the white on that very day?

White first, we rested a little and commenced with the traditional wedding.

I did mine same day, the same reasons you want yours that way. After wedding we still had enough to give finishing touches to our new life. Less stress on family and friends, less stress on the couple and their pocket.

I totally agree on enjoying a good relative that is willing to help out because it's actually ideal but when such relative doesn't exist, it will be easier to tough it out than invite karashika.

Ewuro4:


Mom will start complaining about her weak joints every night so she won't have to wake up early to help the girls ( hubby already ironed & laid out their uniforms on their dressers so we don't need her sef) ... and when she gets up, you better get her moinmoin or akara & custard/akamu w evaporated milk ready on the table & make sure NTA news is on... na that one you wan send errand?

Before you say jack, she will tell you she wants to go to Nigeria to sign for this yeye pension again. I wonder what the pension stunt is all about, can't a family member sign on their behalf?

She can do whatever as I care less.

Old folks don't play with pension money, even if it is 5k. They do go for verification so no one can sign on their behalf. Your mum is funny .

Please let's maintain civility abeg.

Ewuro4:
wow... She must be dealing with you big time. Just what you need for this uncouth attitude of yours.




My dear same here, I learnt everything via online & common sense. Now I'm a pro and go to area mama.

The earlier couples stop relying on some retired cranky old folks (that are better off in their own homes) and start to take full responsibility for their own offsprings , the better.

These old women are here for vacation. That's what most people fail to grasp. They are not your maids! I just leave them be. My own mother said everyone should seer the number of wards they're capable of raising, if my own mother will utter such(which is by the way,true) , i wonder what my mil's thought process will be?

Everytime hubby and I watch the kids home videos , we are always proud of ourselves. We've weathered all seasons carrying our children around our waists all by ourselves through the years so NOBODY can come to my house and yarn rubbish nor talk to my children anyhow.

DILs should stop looking for trouble, being lazy and care for their own wards!

" Cranky old folks", you are totally right . I also feel no one can do it as good as I can. Really some just can't do it alone you know, it can be draining and overwhelm many new mums. You are very right, they come for vacation and not to help .

Obvious boob job, she wasn't this voluptuous prior to marriage.

Wow!! I no know sey we get people like this .