₦airaland Forum

Kimoni:
I think this is exactly the point Edwife is trying to make. While she was at home tending to her kids, they were making her feel bad like she was missing something out there not considering the fact that she was happy doing what she was doing.

So at the end of the day, it's one's happiness and self-fulfillment that matters most while also taking the larger family into consideration.

Trying to make her feel bad is stupidi*ty, it's not in their place to decide. Of course during my service year I had fun slaying a lot of Mrs Jobberwomen that tries to talk me down here. Once one is satisfied with what she is doing, that's all that matters. My post is just because OP isn't happy with it, other wise as long as the person isn't broke and needy, why criticise so blatantly?

edwife:
I agree with you there, like I said i have never come across a man who asks his wife to stay at home doing nothing, usually kids are involved.Even at home, i was doing business. My mum and sis will send stuff and i will sell in the comfort of my home.

Some do, many do, it's nothing new. Insecurity is the main cause.

Edwife at a certain age in Nigeria, I don't think there is any dream to pursue again, except is just to bag a certificate . With jobs requesting for experience up to 10-15years, who wan employ over aged newbie?

Edwife I think this work thing is more of self gratification than anything else, I love credit alerts and nothing makes me sing out loud like it. The amount no matter, it just has away of exciting me. So I look at it in terms of self gratification than anything else. The people you mentioned might be stagnant but they might also be happy doing what they do and that's their greatest gratification.

edwife:
Well different strokes, just as you hate the word allowance, i hate the word salary because by the end of the day- those kids are mine too. I also don't see it as wasting my life taking care of my children, however i do agree that a woman who is willing to stay at home with her kids while holding on to her dreams, needs to be very well taken care of.

When I used to be a stay at home mum, many of my friends made me feel like i was missing something and to tell you the truth, i am here now and nothing like that happened. Many still where they were, no improvement, many i left behind and some progressed but still wasn't easy either. One was very fond on telling me how are you able to sit at home doing nothing , that she can't, she needs to make money. But she was also borrowing money from someone who does nothing to sort one or two things at home women! .Jobs are not eternal, one can lose that job in a twinkle of an eye.

Of course once the kids are in school, what else is there to stay home for? I honestly doubt any man will ask his wife to stay at home forever, I haven't seen that.Many stay at home mums I know abroad or home, went back to pursuit their dreams.

There are many things one can do no matter where one finds him/herself. It is about having a vision, a plan and seeing that it comes to pass.

Jisike nwannem.

Actually is staying at home doing nothing because the kids are in school. I chose a job that let me still be at their beck and call after school hours, so the staying at home for no reason can't work for me. I am all for no house help thingy, so I still satisfy myself and family, that way my joy is full. My service year i pretty much spent at home but I had a pregnancy to nurse, so I didn't really notice it go by. People are different , I can't be happy because everyone around me is happy for my enormous sacrifices , it isn't enough for me. I need to be happy because everyone is happy and am satisfied too. Balance is important to me, I conserve time with everything I do, so I tend to look for what I have achieved at the end of each year and if nothing...hmm.


I have no problem with stay at home mums as long as you aren't broke while at it, but OP wants to work and won't be happy without working. If she has infant to nurse, then she should stay at home, other wise she needs to be fulfilled too if a job will do that for her.


I have no problem staying at home if it comes with pay check, I go resign 'shaperly' go register for gym while counting down to month end . I understood your points absolutely because they still run to me for small loans with my my stay at home status then, but the kids are of school age ,wont stay at home for nothing.


As for losing job, no be for me ooo. I no mind to fry chin chin if it adds 1kobo to my acc . So lose job or not no concern me,nah to create one. Even the so called service year I was at home,i have lost count of the different items I sold .

edwife:
You right , i mean not a salary per say but an allowance. Anyway they need to discuss and go trough all the reasons he wants her to stay home, only then they can get an agreement.

Awww, you gonna be fine. You can never be prepared for kids, just one day at a time.Goodluck dear.

Thanks babe, I hate that name allowance, I love salary better. He needs to propose a salary, at least I know am working as a babysitter/housekeeper, as long as am paid in full. If one is going to waste her youth all for family, it should at least be worth it in Benjis. Allowance isn't worth it , a salary needs to be in place for one to accept such offer. Once all kids are in school, I don't see what the woman is staying for. I call such enemy of progress.


I have no problem with staying at home as long as am cashing out and sure of it monthly as per salary things. There are so much I can do from home business wise and academically.

Thanks babe, I will just improve the fuel budget because once their is power, they will be glued to Disney junior while I do my thing.

edwife:
Ibgo woman, business is in your DNA.

How are you darling? The boys? Very soon you will have them full time at home, hope you are prepared?

Lol, but Nne he needs to propose a salary for staying at home nah, abi how he wan make she take get credit alert?

I am very far from prepared, we might go visit their granny as we would also be on break too. That full time having is scary mehn, sometimes I do overdose on halftime .

Animal husbandry, she better run her life. RIP to the little one, go be with God because these are no parents.

The truth is that he will certainly continue no matter what he says now. Mind you that there is no happily ever after with a cheating man.

Some women sha, just continue and let her cater for her own needs by herself. I wonder how some feel Ok with their husbands crushing under financial responsibilities.

What are his reasons? How much is he willing to pay you for sitting at home?

Let her go back to her ex, I doubt if the man can still bring himself to even try anymore.

Punishment ke? Do the ones you can do and leave the rest till further notice.

otiigba1:
Absolutely! That's exactly my intention to litter the earth with what ever you wish to call them, as folks like you care so much about not littering the earth they haven't dissapeard to the moon
Or is it the case of you can't have a child therefore bash folks like me who can?

Bashing? If you call a friendly chat bashing, what then will you call the real thing, panel beating ? You are just very emotional...like a girl . Say me well to your little girl and please don't paint her face, let her grow at her own pace. Happy Sunday .

otiigba1:
you didn't disappoint as ever. Been that you are too familiar with raising children one wonders why you have not had one yet, You couldn't get any one pregnant? Or do you prefer same gender? And yes! I ve got a child in Australia too .

Why do I need a child, when people like you are already littering the earth? Isn't it noble to devote my life to giving you important tips that will help you not raise twerkers?

otiigba1:
SMH i see you are still on here mumbling, i see were your moral high comes from, for your imformation that was not my daughters photos on here i didn't post that photos, i would never put up the photos of my child on here for nicompoops like you to comment on, my daughter is not even a nigerian. My daughter is a mixed raced born in England with a white caucasian mother. Then again your sanctimonious moral high wouldn't have let you notice.
Yes! There is no more important things like cleaning up after my children, something you would not know about or will ever experience.

I thought you claimed to be busy. Nicompoop because I asked you to clean the horrible paint on the child 's face?hahaha I like hormonal folks a lot. Seriously no one cares if your child is a product of away match between an aboriginal Australian and a chink, so I don't know what you want me to do with your child 's life history/parentage. You can clean and scrub till your knuckle peels, I just want the little girl to be mess free . Why will I want to know about cleaning and scrubbing, does it report credit alert?

Marriage is good but not worth dying for, it's not the be it all either. Let's assume he doesn't attempt to strangle you, aren't you scared of STDs? Please live to watch your kids grow, there is no marriage in heaven. Besides separation isn't divorce, people can be separated for the rest of their lives and still keep the tag if it makes them look good.

otiigba1:
you seem to know more about children for some one who do not have any of their own Makes me wonder If any ulterior motives? Why couldn't you see past the make ups? I did, Or are you one of those who likes dishing irrelevant Advices on matters they no nothing about.
I feel sorry for who ever will be so unfortunate to be your child/children.because they will have a control freak as a parent you prolly will never ever let them leave the house.
Parents are not perfect we do our best, without previous experiences, In your case No! You already no it all without any shread of experience. It boggles the mind!
I pray you have yours your opinion may just change.
Good luck! And have a nice day, i ve got important things to attend to, like my daughter, you obviously haven't

Nope, you don't have any important thing to attend to, just go clean the mess on the child and stop haggling like a fish seller " Dad of the century " . You should be paying for my inexperienced expertise which clearly is more valid than your experienced amateurish parental disposition , but I will let it pass because you are thoroughly pained just as I like it. You need the luck more than I do .

otiigba1:
precicesly ! As i thought you do not have child/children so is not in any position to understand what raising a child is like, especially a female child, until you have children/child i suggest you keep shtum! With your sanctimonious attitude/advice.
Make ups do not determine how Good/bad a female child is been raised.
Balm or powder? whats the difference between that and make up? Why bother at all with either? Are they not supposed to be just 10 years old? As you have criticized, See how unqualified and confused you are?

E pain am , but seriously stop making a child ugly because she has no choice, nobody is talking about your sanctimonious jargon here . Look at that picture and if your eyes doesn't lack Vit A, you did see it doesn't look right. Oh yes powder and lip balm are make up but it is age appropriate, it won't look as ridiculous . Why will I shtum when your kid is here in public, right here for me to raise?

otiigba1:
did you not read its her birthday? Perharps it was just for today her birthday, how did you even notice? Because i didn't.
At 10 girls enjoy experimenting applying make ups, my daughter does the same its no harm! Do you have children/daughter? Othewise quit the preaching raise your own child/children how you like, you are only asked to show love on her birthday not criticise.

I take it that you are the father of the child, it won't hurt you so badly if I wasn't right. If you bring your ish online, prepare for unsolicited opinion like mine. Next time be careful what you post online so you don't end up battering your emotions as you just did. Make up looks fugly on kids birthday or not , I don't have children or daughter so I will help you raise yours whether you like or not . Next time use some lip balm & powder and she will look great .

switmay32:
Abeg make una wish my daugther happy birthday

Please stop applying make up on her, it doesn't look nice on a child. She is only 10, let a child act her age, don't force her into adulthood . Happy birthday to your little girl.

Cute baby, I just like seeing flavour 's baby mamas, soothing balm to my eyes.

This decision isn't tough at all because you clearly never loved him enough. If you did, you won't have to think about it, if the guy had any ego he should have ended the relationship after you asked to think before giving response. Choose your project, he obviously isn't worth the sacrifice to you.

Most are naturally beautiful to me.

Butt lifters available now.

Mouth Wetin for a pregnant woman? Yucks!! Everything virtually stinks during pregnancy. She has to be understanding though and not hide completely from her responsibility. OP you need lots of understanding too because that condition sucks big time!

OP marriage is not eternal damnation, if it ain't working, pack it up. Nothing to fear, just make your kids legit, you owe them that. Your post shows that legitimacy isn't a problem for you. If it really doesn't bother you , then do your thing. I just don't like the idea of being devalued when there is no commitment, the kids are devalued too assuming you are an African.

In marriage matters, it pays to face your work more often than not.

It's simple, try the perfect western women.

Why exactly are you having kids for a man who is yet to marry you? Put a ring on it and have the kids you wish to. Once you face your career, it's forward ever, no stalling. Why can't you do both if I might ask? Let him marry you first, being your fiance is not enough, the kids are still illegitimate.

Gracious10:
Op, u never jam woman who no send.

@ no 1.. pls don't eat o, in fact don't eat at all.
The food is not even enough for me not to talk of someone who's too childish to reject food. Actually pls buy food outside, I will eat the one at home and also eat the one you bought. I am breastfeeding and always hungry so refusing food works for me.

@ 2. After 3 kids, I actually very whole heartedly hate intimacy. So pls my body will love such decision.

@3. I am always a quite person and love to read so ignoring me will be awesome as I have tons of books and movies to take care of.

U Neva jam people who have other priorities than mud water face. Make ur bed, lie on it.

I totally agree, OP never jam.