₦airaland Forum

backbone503:
If this stats holds true for Nigeria and other African countries, then I'll say its because most women marry who is ready and not who they love. And when they get into marriage, they soon realize that love (which might be lacking in the union) is the only thing that can truly bind two people together.

U r totally wrong. Romantic love can’t sustain a marriage because it is fleeting. Money can. If the man is wealthy and the woman depends on him for money, the marriage will last forever!

Hathor5:
Yeah right. Men are generally very considerate and altruistic. They don't cheat, they don't take in second wives, they don't rape and they don't kill. Good night.

I should have put “wicked” in quotes. And I did say GENERALLY. Maybe it’s just my experience, but I don’t think so. Women just generally seem more callous than men. Consider, who is usually more “wicked” - step mum vs. step dad, mother in-law vs f.., madam vs. Oga.
How many times have we read of women almost killing house help; women callously stealing other women’s babies or killing pregnant women to take the child...

Hathor5:
Believe whatever you want to believe. I prefer to know.

This is not a question of what I believe. This is everyday
reality, happens everyday - women divorce their husbands and keep the house, get custody of the kids, and get half of everything else!

Mummyfour:
Why waste eggs people are looking for? This was my father's point exactly when some years back a troublesome fetish neighbor planted a Calabash containing two very large eggs amongst other sacrificial items.
My papa just collect the eggs,put them inside pot, boiled them and ate breakfast for the first time in years.
We were telling him not to,but the guy man say make we no disturb am.After eating the breakfast,he strolled to my neighbor's house and told him thanks for the eggs and my neighbor didn't say anything,probably too shocked at my father's effrontery. My papa is alive and well in his early 80s and still dealing with trouble makers. Honestly I don't know what to make out of what he did till today

Same with James Randi (google him). Since the 60’s he’s been ready to pay anyone who can harm him with juju. He is now in his 90’s

donbachi:
Make dem use the urine of a 30year old virgin pour untop..if dem go fit get oo..e go just destroy the juju.

I have one. But e cost sha

splendour7:
Waiting For Nairaland Atheists To Come And Tell Us That It's "Just An Ordinary Coffin" If You Tell Them To Just Go And Touch Those Stuffs They Refere To As Trash Now, They Will Give You 1 Million Reasons Why They Will not Near It Let Alone Touching It...Fear Fear Nairaland Atheists!

Keep telling your enemies how to chase you away from your house without firing a shot. All they have to do is build a ridiculous small coffin, procure red cloth and some eggs and leave it at your door!
Stop believing nonsense

Quinex2:
How exactly did black women learn a "paradigm" keeping them single? Are there more single black women than whites? How come, despite this 'paradigm', our black mothers had marriages that were sustainable, or, has any shift in 'paradigm' occured over time? So you see, this reasoning is flawed, till you present enough facts to back it up.

First of all thanks for your post. It is rather embarrassing to put up a topic and have absolutely no one respond to it.
Whoever wrote that book must be an incel (look it up).
A lot of women being single is almost always precipitated by paucity of eligible men

Slynation:
I can't explain such... Everything is quite easy to comprehend
spirul77

The question is quite simple:
HOW DOES IT BENEFIT A STATE TO HAVE THE STIGMA OF BEING SATURATED WITH COVID??
Answer the question or henceforth stop writing nonsense.

Slynation:
Lol.... See someone with CoronaVirus enjoying himself like never before

If you want the money to keep flowing to your state, just publicly declare yourself Covid-19 positive... This virus to Nigerian Politicians can be attributed to broad day robbery with no weapons...

How? Please explain the dynamic to us. Where does the money come from? How does it benefit a state to have the stigma of being full of Covid and therefore should be avoided and possibly quarantined by FG??

If this humongous pot belly can recover so easily from Covid then this Covid is a joke. OPEN UP EVERYTHING!!

Rozz:
its like a deceit,no need for all that

It is not deceit if all u r doing is trying to correct his mistaken notion that marriage is prison. Also, the end justifies the means - u r helping a young man overcome his marriage-phobia

Hathor5:
Better.

I wonder why.

I have read three articles since I posted on this thread claiming to have an answer to this question but they did not satisfy my curiosity entirely. One of the reasons they named was that women nowadays are more independent. How does this answer the question why women tend to initiate divorce more often considering that men have always enjoyed greater independence and yet have not been filing for divorce as frequently. I am asking myself if women benefit less from marriage on average (one of the reasons mentioned in those article too) and if men mess up more often giving women reasons for divorce. I have also been contemplating the nature of things given that marriage is a social construct and an unnatural state of being. I think that comparisons to the animal kingdom seldom make sense and usually don't do justice to explaining the complexity of human behavior. Having said that it is worth noting that many females in the animal kingdom tend to behave aggressively toward their male counterparts once they are no longer interested in procreation.

But what do I know?

I think one reason generally ignored is this:
women are generally more “wicked” than men, and more spiteful (at least that has been my observation in my 30 odd years on earth), so while a man may be reluctant to file for divorce out of consideration for who it might hurt, a woman will promptly file for divorce if she deems it the right thing or just to spite the man - “teach the idiot a lesson” as it were

Hathor5:
The Divorce Gap
There’s a common perception that women siphon off the wealth of their exes and go on to live in comfort. It’s wrong.

A 38-year-old woman living in Everett, Washington recently told me that nine years ago, she had a well-paying job, immaculate credit, substantial savings, and a happy marriage. When her first daughter was born, she and her husband decided that she would quit her job in publishing to stay home with the baby. She loved being a mother and homemaker, and when another daughter came, she gave up the idea of going back to work.

Seven years later, her husband told her to leave their house, and filed for a divorce she couldn’t afford. “He said he was tired of my medical issues, and unwilling to work on things,” she said, citing her severe rheumatoid arthritis and OCD, both of which she manages with medication. “He kicked me out of my own house, with no job and no home, and then my only recourse was to lawyer up. I’m paying them on credit.” (Some of the men and women quoted in this article have been kept anonymous because they were discussing sensitive financial matters, some of them involving ongoing legal disputes.)

She is far from alone. Despite the common perception that women make out better than men in divorce proceedings, women who worked before, during, or after their marriages see a 20 percent decline in income when their marriages end, according to Stephen Jenkins, a professor at the London School of Economics. His research found that men, meanwhile, tend to see their incomes rise more than 30 percent post-divorce. Meanwhile, the poverty rate for separated women is 27 percent, nearly triple the figure for separated men.

Women like the mother in Washington, who leave the workforce for several years, will likely see their earnings stunted when they resume working. The main reason women suffer the brunt of divorce’s financial burdens, according to Jenkins, is that during marriage, they are more likely than men to stop working in order to raise kids. “The key differences are not between men and women, but between fathers and mothers,” he told The Guardian.

On top of that, divorce proceedings alone can pose a serious financial burden. According to Divorce Magazine, a trade publication, the cost of divorce varies wildly, from as little as $8,500 to well over $100,000. An accurate average is hard to nail down, but estimates usually fall within the range of $15,000 to $30,000. And if the split is relatively amicable, costs can sometimes be as low as $250 to $3,000, according to Lee Borden, a divorce lawyer in Alabama.

These burdens tend to fall disproportionately on women, and, in its usual way, the market has recognized that: A handful of firms have started providing loans—some of them for hundreds of thousands of dollars—to women so that they can properly argue their case in court. The loans’ interest rates can be high, but one firm estimates that applicants typically win assets worth three times the amount of their loan.

Weinberger says that because of the inevitability of alimony and child support, she advises ex-partners to make peace with paying for support before proceedings even begin. “The judge is going to order how much you pay and for how long, once you go to court, and that’s it,” she says. (If spouses choose to divorce via a settlement, she notes, they have a little more flexibility.)

And alimony and child support don’t always flow from ex-husband to ex-wife. Many men fear they’ll be ridiculed when others find out they’re receiving money from their exes, Weinberger says. Some would rather forgo their monthly stipends than swallow their pride, even if they are the stay-at-home parent bringing in no income.

Of course, the messiness of life can cause serious stress before there’s time to have a judge step in. When asked what she got out of her divorce, a mother in New Hampshire I spoke to simply says: “divorced.” Having been married to her husband for two years and having been the mother of their child, the woman found herself without any financial safety net when they split abruptly. “He would not contribute to any expenses,” she said. “He gave me 15 days to get off his cellphone plan, and expected that I wouldn't default on our rent, which was $1,600 a month. I sold my cellphone for food and got a prepaid number.”

https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/04/the-divorce-gap/480333/

Whoever wrote this article has his head in the sand. Google MGTOW. What do u think precipitated that??
It was brought about ENTIRELY by the unfair divorce practices of the west. Also google Nigerian men who kill their wives in US

Unnerve:
So if really it is this bad for women after a divorce, why then are 80% of divorces filed by wives at the detriment of their standard of living?

Exactly! Whoever wrote that article has his head in the sand. Google MGTOW. What do u think precipitated that??

Rozz:
Because men have stopped being responsible since the days of our fathers.Just few of them left

This is not true. Our fathers were never that responsible, only that their wives did not drag them for having concubines - or marrying 4 wives. See how responsible Ned is - he has 5 wives including Regina!

Rozz:
lol,there's absolutely no need to go that far

Au contraire, there is always need for that. That’s one thing many girls don’t realise, the biggest fear many men have about marriage is losing their freedom. A smart girl will assuage that fear by telling them they can still have that, then after marriage gradually teach him the truth - that all he really needs is u and the kids

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ImaIma1:
Because men find it hard confronting such situations. They would rather shy away from it and probably push the woman so much till she breaks and goes for a divorce.

That's just one reason

Quite Insightful, but also consider another reason: women are generally more “wicked” than men (at least that has been my observation in my 30 odd years on earth), so while a man may be reluctant to file for divorce out of consideration for who it might hurt, a woman will promptly file for divorce if they deem it the right thing.

bukatyne:
Ok.

Address the points I raised for a robust discussion.

Sorry bro, too much work - I’m a bit on the lazy side

ZINIBANKS:
It's a different story today cause dubia police department are strictly handling his case I doubt if this niggar will come out anytime soon Ray was captured cause of his everyday flaunt

FBI not Dubai Police, never mind their propaganda after the fact. Left to Dubai Police and their government Hush would have gotten away with it forever

.

Rozz:
The topic says 80 percent of women initiate divorce,its so because of the frustrations men of these days put them through in marriage,most men want to live their single life while married and it's not and never going to work that way hence the topic.

No mind them. But here is a secret (for u only, don’t tell anybody else), if u want a reluctant guy to quickly propose just tell him once u both r married he can still do whatever he wants. Then once married show your true jealous, possessive color. I bet u it won’t be a big problem - the guy will even sort of like it.

bukatyne:
70% of black women in the US are single (never married) and 80% of women initiate divorce in the US are mutually exclusive.

I don't see how one connects to the other.

I never said they are connected. I only said it is a more interesting aspect of the male-female dynamic

Rozz:
Because men have stopped being responsible since the days of our fathers.Just few of them left

This new thread tends to disagree:

https://www.nairaland.com/5964241/why-70-black-women-single

jidamsel43:
Because most women think the matrimonial home is equated to their fathers' homes

This, sir, is a totally meaningless comment

Below is synopsis of a $6 book on why 70% of black American women (BAW) are single.
Do u agree with the reasons presented; if not, what reasons would u suggest?

1stHooligan:
lets talk about Nigeria first

That’s what we are doing. U learn from other’s mistakes by discussing and analyzing them so u don’t end up the same way

PureGoldh:
Make I just chilax and learn from the elders

More like u r stylishly advertising pure RAW honey that cures everything including corona!

engrtee:
after divorce, women get richer in usa

So how does that explain 70% of black women being single?? See above

(I just opened a new thread based on the above)

https://www.nairaland.com/5964241/why-70-black-women-single

bukatyne:
You might be on to something.



Why don't you give us a break down?

Out the 80%,
60% is due to irreconcilable differences;
70% is due to adultery;
50% is due to domestic violence etc etc.

If further analysis can be done to say out of the 80% who initiate divorce, 70% go on to re-marry and also initiate divorce after X years. etc. etc.

What nationality are they? For instance, if most of them are Northern Nigerians who file divorce once they settle in the US because they were married off as teens to men old enough to be their fathers, it would be treated differently to a case where native American women wake up 10 years after they are married because they are 'fed up'.

Oya provide us more details so we can intelligently discuss.

A more interesting aspect is why 70% of black women are single. See below.

(I just opened a new thread based on it)

https://www.nairaland.com/5964241/why-70-black-women-single

gentlestdude:
it's the browser I guess, some browser's don't even show nairaland emoji.

Openbusiness2:
Thanks for clarification. Understand better now

If u don’t understand something why not just ASK??
It is not the browser at all.
Hint: delete your signature (u can put it back later), then see if you’ll see any signatures. Then come back and thank me

Openbusiness2:
Nope, not true! I use Nairaland all the time and my signature never appeared under myt

You must feel like a BIG FOOL

Openbusiness2:
Nope, not true! I use Nairaland all the time and my signature never appeared under my posts until this midnight. I have screenshots of old Nairaland posts, there are no signature underneath anywhere. This thing just started today, this midnight

U must be kidding. See below