₦airaland Forum

@ vanstanzy, am married traditionally n in d court! D church wedding is in 3months time

virtuoso01: (2)
Super Powerful Synthetic Marijuana.

Dimethylheptylpyran is a US military designed marijuana so potent that a 1mg dose can leave soldiers unable to perform their duties for up to 3 days.

From the 1950s to the 1970s the US military had a fun little side project at the Edgewood Arsenal. They would give soldiers various drugs and chemical agents to see what happened. One of these was a super potent version of marijuana called ‘dimethylheptylpyran’ or DMHP.

This stuff gives all the classic signs of being baked like red eyes, hunger and sluggishness. However rather than a couple of joints, 0.0002 g is all the DMHP you need to get the average person staring at their shoes and giggling. At 1mg doses soldiers were completely unable to perform their duties for up to 3 days. The boffins over at Edgewood thought they had stumbled across the ideal non-lethal incapacitating agent.

You could just spray the enemy base with DMHP and walk in an hour later while everyone is watching Friends reruns and eating Cheetos. By the late 1970s more effective chemical warfare agents had been weaponised, and the research was stopped.

Where can i get dis one? I need to feed my boss with dis one!

Couples get tired of each other because they got married in d 1st place for d wrong reaons! If u marry because u just want to be Mrs then u r in for a different ball game! Tolerance, perservance, faith, understanding, patience n trust r d key essentials to a successful marriage. Above all, a sound r'ship with God is required to also make it work. God bless

When u don't feel like loving ur wife anymore, nothing she does pleases u, u even tell her to her face that she can't arouse u,that u determine when to be aroused,u love chatting on ur bb more than u love talking to her, u prefer reading NL comments n laughing hysterically alone instead of chatting with her, she tries all she can to please u,yet u can't be pleased,her very presence irritates u even when she's done nothing wrong.....what next? Meanwhile u r supposed to be wedding in church in less than 3months,do u call off d wedding or simply go back to d court where u were wedded n annul it? Or just continue to hope dt u will eventually change ur attitude towards her n love her again d way u used to? Sincere advice needed pls!

Tiwa got it betterher hair pulled back really made her face stand out,n her shoes gave d dress a better look!

Just passing by!!SMH

miky: I think the perception is wrong not the research.. Protein has 4 conformation primary, secondary, tertiary, and quaternary.. When uncooked it's probably in its quaternary and there is no telling of how the enzymes and bacteria can react..( as eggs are living things actually).. When u boil u denature it a bit to secondary or primary.. This is safer for your body to digest with its limited proteases ( protein denaturer) tripsin and co..

For better digestion fully boiled is better UR body works less, u denature past primary to amino acids which UR body can use to make other relevant protein in UR body like collagen on skin..

All these grammar 4 one dead dude? Dis could wake hi up! *winks*

miky: No need for autopsy in fact a simple blood test from the deceased is enough.. You could tell the amount of white blood cells, leukocytes, mhc11 cells, t killer cells that resulted.. My guess is t killer cells.. There can never be saturation of bacteria in alimentary canal, as the canal itself is the most bacteria infested place ever.. I always recommend ppl to drink their probiotics it replenishes the good ones, thus keeping a safe ratio level..

Regardless no need to make fun of him, unless your in the medical field and aware there are about 40 different things that can kill in minutes.. These are things we do normally..

Am lost!

Unto d next one plsssssss!!

Right now am at work,and am having issues with my wife over nothing! I guess i just get jealous over her sometimes n just have fun stressing her out with my baseless accusations n tantrums! D girl loves me sha,as she never leave me! Am a control freak[color=#000000][/color][color=#990000][/color]

searay: The only significant thing is that everyday(including 12-12-12) is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it.

On point!

Fox: Blood convenant is shit, pure, plain and simple bs. I don't believe in juju or anything of the sort so to me it's just an opportunity for you to expose yourself to HIV or dash the babalawo money. If you're a religious person simply tell her that it's against your religion. Look into her eyes and tell her that you love her a lot ....then go get a tattoo of her name on your forehead

Cant stop laughing about d tattoo of her name on d forehead! Lolzzzzzz! Blood covenant my a*s!

When it rains or snow in hell, then i'll take blood oath!

Never EVER Talk Bad Of Your Husband
To Anyone…Learn!!!
Wow! This is a MUST read story guys! Came across this
piece online and not sure who wrote it, but it’s a great
story with a solid lesson to teach and a reminder to every
woman. Please continue reading and don’t forget to
share…..someone out there might need this!
“Biyi hasn’t worked for that long?” Dayo’s voice drips with
resentment. “For real?” “He’s been trying,” I say in feeble
attempt to defend my husband. “You know how the
economy is.”
…My husband and I had vowed never to bring in a third
party into our relationship but with a bank account
screaming for revival, I need to share my burden with
someone else. I grip the phone. Dayo is unusually quiet.
“You still there?” I ask. “Hello?” “I am here,” she says. “I
just didn’t know things were this bad. And all this while, I
thought Biyi was providing for the home.” But he is, I
argue silently. Well, maybe not financially for now, but in
every way else, Biyi is a rock. “It’s not that bad.” My
words sound frail. Dayo clucks her tongue. “You might as
well be a widow.”
The words hit me like a fist. “Na you I blame,” she
continues, oblivious to the damage her words have
caused.
“Me? Why?” She is blaming me for this? Seriously?
“Why do you keep paying the bills?”
“Because there is no one else to do it,” I protest, upset.
“For real? He drives your car too?”
“He needs it,” I mutter. “To attend job interviews and
stuff. He gets back late sometimes.”
“How late are you talking?
“Nine, ten…ish.”
Dayo pauses for a second. “I hate to say this gurl, but
your husband spending your money on another woman.”
Whoa! Hang on. Where did that come from? “Haba,
Dayo. Biyi would never—” “Look, I know men,” she slices
in. “You are his moneybag and he will take you for a ride
as long as it takes. Where is your dignity, gurl?” Ride.
Dignity. Moneybag. Ouch. “But he’s a good guy,” I
manage. Can my husband be using me? It had never
crossed my mind in the past, but I now wonder if Biyi is
actually having an affair.
“I trust my wonderful Dennis…,” Dayo is saying. I barely
listen. My eyes are on the clock. It’s almost midnight and
Biyi isn’t home. I force myself to hear what Dayo is
saying about Dennis Ono, her multimillionaire-oil-
company-golden-husband. Gosh I envy her life, her
perfect marriage. “My marriage is wonderful,” Dayo says,
as if in affirmation to my undeclared words. “But only
because I show Dennis who the boss is. He cannot try
nonsense with me. Abi, you think it’s easy to get ten
thousand pounds a month as pocket money?” She really
gets ten grand a month? That’s like, my entire annual
salary in my crappy job plus bonuses. Life is unfair.
Honestly. “I am Biyi’s wife,” I say. “I cannot just desert
him.” Or can I? At this rate… “In that case,” there is an
edge to her voice now, “give him an ultimatum. He gets a
job in two weeks or you are out of that marriage.”
“I—”
“Look, I know his type,” she says with conviction. “He
conveniently won’t get a job as long as you keep dishing
out your money.”
“But—”
“Starve him,” she adds. “No sex. Make life hell. You are
not an ATM machine.”
Keys jangle in the hallway. Biyi is home. “Talk later,” I say
to Dayo. “He’s back.” “Stand your ground,” Dayo
whispers menacingly. “Ultimatum. Two weeks.” I hang
up with a sigh. My husband is leaning against the door
frame. For a second my heart falters. He looks tired,
drawn. But Dayo’s words punctuate my compassion.
“Where have you been?” Biyi gives me a side smile. “No
hug?” I jerk my head at the wall clock.” Its midnight.” “I
had a job interview in Birmingham,” he says. “I called you
tell you I was stuck in traffic but I kept getting your
voicemail. What’s wrong?” I cock my head. Is that a whiff
of female perfume? It is. Dayo is right. He has been with
another woman. With my car. Spending my money. My
head spins. “Biyi,” I glare at him, “Where are you coming
from?” He steps back, surprised. “I went to Birmingham
—”
“Did you get it?” I screech. “The job?”
Biyi shakes his head. “I didn’t—”
This is the last straw. I wrench my hand out. “My car
keys.”
He gives me a hard level stare. “What is wrong with you,
Toni? Did I offend you?”
“Pass my keys!”
He thrusts the car keys to into my palm. I push past him,
grab my duffel bag and stuff my overnight things into it. I
know I am acting crazy but I have to show him that I
would not be taken for a ride. That I am not a moneybag.
That I have dignity. I zip the bag up and spin around. My
husband is staring at me. “Is everything all right with you,
sweetheart?”
“Get out of my way.”
“Where are you going with that bag?”
“I need to clear my head.” I am still yelling.
“Can we talk first?” Biyi suggests.
“I don’t want to talk. Get out of my way.”
He moves out of my path. I swipe a hand across my face,
smearing my cheeks with mascara. “Don’t look for me. I
will be back when my head clears.” I rush out of the
house, jump into my car. My rage doubles as the
feminine scent permeates the car. He has been with a
woman in my car. I feel like an idiot.
* * *
I pull up in front of Dayo’s mansion. Her husband’s
Porsche is in the driveway, and the porch lights illuminate
my dreary form as I reach the door. I ball my fists to
knock, but a scream freezes the motion.
“Kill me!” I hear Dayo scream. “Good for nothing idiot.
Womaniser of the century!” Whoa. Momentarily, I am
unable to move. My hand hovers in the air. Dull thuds,
muffled screams. Dennis curses. “I warned you never to
serve me stew that is not freshly cooked!” “Am I your
slave?” Dayo yells back. “If you want fresh stew, get your
PA to cook it for you. Or you think I don’t know about
her? You think…”
Dayo’s words are silenced by another thump. My hands
fall to my side as a flurry of blows stifle her cries. I want
call the police, do something…anything. But I cannot
move. And so I shut my eyes tight and listen as my friend
is pummelled by her husband. The beating stops. I
should dash to my car, but something holds me back. “I
am sorry I got you upset darling,” Dayo finally says. Her
voice is laced with pain. “It is my fault. I should have
cooked for you. I…Toni wouldn’t let me get off the
phone…its her fault.”
“Next time you talk to me like that, I will tattoo a punch
on your forehead,” Dennis growls. “Get into the kitchen
and make me fresh stew. And do something about that
leech you call a friend.”
That is enough for me. I sprint back to my car and drive
home.
* * *
A knock sounds on the window. Biyi. I wind down and he
gives me a smile. “Head clear now?” he asks. “Leave me
alone,” I mutter. Dayo’s wonderful Denis beats her up?
And she never mentioned?
“I will leave you alone in two seconds,” Biyi says. There is
a twinkle in his eyes. “But first, get out of the car.” I
oblige, grudgingly. “What?” He reaches under the car seat
and pulls out a small basket. “I didn’t come home
straight from the interview. I stopped over at the
Perfume shop to get you this.” He hands the basket over.
Inside is a range of exotic feminine perfumes and a small
card. I pull the card open, read the words: “Thank you for
your support during the hardest times of my life! I love
you.”
“That’s why I was late,” he explains as he pulls me into a
warm embrace. “You have been so good to me, Toni. I
couldn’t have asked for a better wife.” I can’t reply. My
throat is lumpy.
“When you left the house to clear your head, I got a call
back from the recruiter,” he says with a beam. “God
answers prayers, babe. I got the job. It’s a package you
won’t believe. Let’s go in. I’ll tuck you into bed and you
can tell me what’s bothering you?”
* * *
I awaken to a text message from Dayo. “Denis is flying
me to Seychelles this weekend. This is what you get when
you stand your ground. You have to be a no nonsense
gurl! Don’t you just love my life? Ciao sweetheart Bleep.”
I type a quick response back: “Ciao! and i deleted her
number right away.
Now, this is one story every woman should read. The
grass is never greener on the other side, best believe that.
No matter how good a friend’s marriage it, NEVER EVER
compare with yours. It’s DEADLY and could cost you so
much!
by Abimbola Dare

ebamma 3: So even prince dey follow phuck toto?

Lolzzz, he no dey phuck toto,na hockey he dey play for toto!

luvmijeje: When u re doing d necking didn't she feel u?Have u tried other way to satisfy her?
Well 4 d gadget check online store and bk ur order.

Yes,she did indeed feel me,pls if anyone can help direct me to a good herbal penis enlargement doctor?

Hey guys,thanks so much with ur responses/advices/yabbings on my previous post, i tell y'all, am blessed i registered here! Now, d current problem is, i cant seem to let go of my control issues with my wife, am afraid people will get to her and manipulate her just as they did to all my other exes b4 i met my wife! My so called "protection" to her is actually controlling her,i really want to let her be n just trust her but i can't seem to! Pls what do i do? I love my wife dearly,but i dont want her falling into my mum's manipulative trap,n at d same time,i dont want her at arm's length with my mom!

Am terribly confused!

I wanted a low key wedding, low key in d sense dat der is enough food n drinks but few people! But each invitee came with 2 extra mouths to feed! Smh

KINGwax: i swearrit! But na congregational marriage go be d worst!
@OP, poison the wife! because from triangular e go turn circular. After every shape to do am e go turn conference. Later to congregational and the final..multitudinal. A stitch in time saves nine!

cant stop laughing!

Yes i have,and its d biggest mustake i've ever had to make! I regret it everyday n i tried to make it up to her b4 i finally gave up on her n allowed her to go! I miss her,but am married now,and i could never cheat on my wife!

Hey guys,am new here n dis is my very 1st topic am posting here,i heard about nairaland forum from a friend at work,and i came first as a visitor,then later decided to register. Pls i need ur help n advice,i recently got married n my wife n i coyrted for just 6months,during which we never got sexual. Dont get me wrong,wr used to neck each other,handle each other n sometimes we really felt like tearing each other apart,but we decided to wait till we were properly married b4 engaging intimately. On our wedding night,my wife discovered dat i had a small dick n she really got pissed off,every effort to satisfy her proved abortive! Even romance wont work n its really frustrating to me,my wife accuses me of lying to her n alleges dat d reason i abstained during courtship because i knew my dick was small n i tricked her! But dis is sincerely not true,i love my wife,i married her because i love her,n even when i pretended to be a wretched pauper,she showed me love n never cared if i was rich or not! Now,after our marriage,i gave my wife a brand new car as a wedding gift,n i know she's not marrying me 4 money sake or material gain. She is unhappy now cos according to her,small size dicks irritates her n she cant stand d sight of it,whether d owner can screw well with it or not,she loves large monstrous cocks! She is begging me dat if i have any shred of love for her,i shld buy her d largest Love Machine i can find,only then will she be happy! Pls what do i do? Dis thing,am afraid will replace me. Pls advice maturedly,n put urselves in my shoes,thanks!

Hey guys,am new here!

I cant't buy her a Love Machine,no matter say my kini is very brief!
Hey guys, can u buy ur wife a Love Machine,like a very large one,just so she could satisfy her sexual urge IN D HOUSE?

afam4eva: I can't buy her a house. Infact it's very stup1d of me to do so.

But if she buys a house for u,u would take abi? Or if she owned a house b4 u met her,u'd want to go live with her,abi?

hot n cold: For me it has to be undies ,call me old fashion,un romantic man,bla bla.I can't imagine myself(don't see me as an egoist person)going to a boutique or wherever to buy a dozen of undies for my woman as a sign of my undying love for her or being romantic.It just doesn't work for me.

So let's have yours .Please don't spoil the fun by derailing this thread.

Are u for real? But u do admire her panties??

speeder: At least, the pillow will be more faithful than Nigerian gel.

Whats dis bruhaha about nigerian girls? What abt d men that r simply dogs? I thought dis piece was for a japanese man,married to his pillow? Y not focus on dat n leave our ladies alone? How many of us guys here can boldly say since i married my wife or met my gf i've not cheated on her?smh!

No offence but some r just flat out ugly! I hope d ugly ones compliment their ugliness with a good heart,and urge their husbands to do more! Imoke has killed d visions of Duke for CRS, or is it dat he was busy lootung d state's treasury to pay for his wife's gastric by-pass? Smh

Pls am so new to dis forum,how do i post a topic? Tnx guys

Proudly naija! I have visited so many countries and in some of those places i wished i never got der,while some were paradise on earth,but none felt like naija! If given another chance to be born again n d opportunity to chose where to be born,i would choose naija, anytime, anywhere! We are never stuck,we always find a way!