₦airaland Forum

For me, I would throw him out of the house; you want to be with someone else, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

And, honestly, a month is not enough time to really know someone,

I did not post to be analyzed. Yes, we are very happy. Abusive, not in the least. I have just seen, heard and watched his friends and family quite a bit. You have never met him, talking on the phone and talking in person are 2-different things. You may get off the plane and have nothing in common with the man, face to face. When you finally meet, I hope he is everything you want in a man, and that you are everything he wants in a woman but, to make possible life changing decisions on someone you have never met. Be careful is all I am saying, especially with a child involved.

Cathy

Live in Dunwoody,

Not to be a kill-joy here; I hope what you have is real but to put so much stock into someone you have never met. I am a white American and have been with a Nigerian man for almost 2-years. Be very, very careful, I am speaking from experience, and from what I have seen and heard, with both his friends and his family. Good luck with your situation but, proceed carefully, both for you and your daughter.

Cathy

I can probably get you a few months supply if you can't find it. Let me know,

You need to see a urologist, and, you need to see him right away!! If you let an infection in that area go untreated for too long, it may hurt your chances of having a family someday.

I am also in the same situation, we live in NJ, USA. He is from Nigeria (Yoruba) and we have been together for 2-years now; getting married next year in Nigeria. I am still learning, between trying to speak the language to communicate with his mother (she will not speak English, even though she knows it), cooking (he won't eat American food unless he absolutely has to) and getting used to the culture, We take it one day at a time, He is tough though, no sugar coating anything, don't ask him how your hair or how something you have on looks, or you might not be prepared for the answer!

Anyway, if you ever want to talk my e-mail is Majektess@aol.com.

Cathy

As long as he is just looking and not touching, not a big deal.

I live in New Jersey, USA and my husband's best friend's wife passed away. It was decided that they would send the body back home to Niger. I don't really understand, because their children and grandchildren are all here. They never intend on moving back to Niger and only going home to visit. By the time they had a (1) night wake here, and then sent her body home, the whole cost of everything was just under $10,000.00. Everybody ended up contributing money to help him get her home. It was suggested that they cremate her and bring the ashes home but, the husband did not want to hear it. In his mind, he had to get her home in (1) piece to be buried.

Segun,

If you get this, I have to ask you something but, I don't want to post it. Can you e-mail me, Cathian64@aol.com. I need some advise and don't know who to ask.

Thanks,

Cathy

Segun,

Thank you, I'm sorry it didn't work out. My father here in NJ is very accepting and loves him like a son. His mom in Naira is perfectly fine with the situation. She is happy that her son is loved. I will get to meet his whole family in Dec. We are supposed to be in Lagos for (1) month so, we will see. I will then get to meet his kids which, I am excited about. I have met a few uncles who have been to NY on holiday and a few junior brothers with their families. All has been fine. Just dating him, has truly been a cultural learning experience but, a good one. One day at a time,

My boyfriend goes to either: Odudua Lounge & Restaurant - 513 Central Avenue in Newark or Odabro African Restaurant on 132 South Essex Avenue in East Orange, NJ. They both have take-out, or you can eat there, on weekends they have either a band or music, with dancing. My preference is Odabro but he likes either of those spots, and he knows the food better than I. There is also a place in Bloomfield, NJ and I will try to find out the name but is on Bloomfield Avenue.

Hope this helps you. Where is the restaurant you found in central NJ? That is where I live and we are searching for a place here so, we don't have to drive up north all the time.

All children are beautiful,

Single, but, trying to decide if I really want to be married.

Segun,

What happened with your situation?

It is hard, and we just tune the people out that are not accepting. I lost my best friend over this; she couldn't understand why we were together and couldn't accept it. Her loss but yet, people are entitled to their opinions. We take it (1) day at a time. If we can build something together, great, but, wow, after reading some of these posts about nigerian men, they just make your head spin. He doesn't want to be with me for a green card, he already has one, so, time will tell. I know he is not going to be here forever, his plan is to go home one day but you hope for the best but expect the worst. He is my prince and he truly saved me, he came at a time when I just needed to be loved and needed a friend, and there he was.

Thank you for your kind words,

Yes, we are still together. I won't say it is easy, It is tough in the area that I live. If we go to the mall together, the white people give us nasty looks and the black people give us nasty looks. The backgrounds are completely different, he is from Nigeria and I am a white american from NJ. We just learn to work together, listen and be tolerant of each other.

For me, it wasn't sex. It was the way he talked to me, the way he takes care of me, the way he looks at me and the way he treats me. I never dated a black man before and really when he first asked me out, the color thing wasn't a big deal. We just connected.

No, not yet, but I should. Thank you!!

I am new and just learning about this site. I am really just learning about Nigeria as I was born and raised in the US. If I have anything constructive to add or can answer any questions, I will try.