₦airaland Forum

Joy is a fruit of the spirit. Money is material.
You can't get spiritual things from material things. Money gives happiness i.e comfort,luxury etc which may or may not last ( that's why we have cases of rich and famous people taking their own lives) .But joy is deeper

We sometimes substitute the two - joy and happiness - and they tend to loose their meanings along the way.

CaZmir:



At your age you still write sh*t, put all your energy in learning egg-roll.

Bros you wicked o... See smack down, Lolzzzz.

soul95:
I'm not exactly a nice person,more of a moral person with strong belief in sincerity, honesty, and goodness.
Also I did not change. But my convictions about the opposite sex changed a bit. Bottom line is you folks need to advice your fellow ladies about your attitude, it works against you and drives men away (ever wondered about the increase in commitment-phobic men?). But to the real ladies, y'all are queens...too bad you are way too few

I get you bro. Peace!!!

soul95:
But that's what ladies like. By nature, I'm an altruist, I believe in doing good not for any hidden motive,but because that's my nature. My major observation with the ladies is that women mostly disrespect you if you are good to them (and no I'm not asking them out or intending to sleep with them, I'm just being me, sincere, principled and honest), and funny enough some of the girls are not even my level (no pride, as a rule I don't discriminate, I feel very much comfortable taking with a homeless man as talking with some corporate big shot), but the girls just start being deliberately disrespectful. So most times it just ends there.

Then there was a time I went through serious depression (when I'm depressed I don't cry, but I get easily upset and have this mean cold Machiavellian face), guest what: the ladies were flashing the green light left right centre, surprise breakfasts from neighbours in night gowns with nothing under, the winks, the bosom pressing against the arm, the flirty texts. Funny thing was I did not even respond to any, I was hurting deep inside to care about stuff like that (and no I don't use sex or any thing to drown my sorrows, except maybe music).

I've had a very pretty girlfriend that used to mess up big time, once I got tired of her matter (na school my papa send me, make i focus on studies), I just completely fash her matter, this girl just got my keys, started so much attention, she would spend 3 days and 5 nights out of the week in my house, cook food with her money (I didn't tell her to), sometimes I would go on field trips to facilities only to come back and see a well prepared meal and sexy lingerie, man got tired. But anytime I truly showed this girl that I love her, if you see the kind of way she will misbehave eh...(you would think she is in partnership with my village people to destroy my soul). Last last, I just ended the matter, got serious with God,no sexual relationships for a while till marriage. But I've seen that behavioral pattern especially amongst pretty girls(highly educated by the way).

Women hold the rules of engagement in relationships. Once upon a time, to get the girl you had to be the best gentleman and her father must approve, so then all boys wanted to be gentleman, you know suits,hats, ball dances and all that. Nowadays, you have to be the bad boy, so boys lie, dress irresponsibly in the name of swag and even join cult to form rugged to impress women (me sef e dey baffle me). So you girls made the call, don't complain.

I see your point. Its like me being nice to friends,acquaintances, young,old and what have you. Does that mean everyone one of em will be nice to me -NO, do they try to take advantage of it - some do, but will that stop me being nice - hell no.

I choose to play nice and leave the jerk part to them - somebody is gotta play it by the way,but it doesn't have to be me. Their being bad will not make me change or try to apply cynical tricks on them. That's just lame.

Awe4luv:
u saying something but my dear, it doesn't work that way, I mean u are not a man, that guy up there just told you what works and that's it....lol...women, I still can't forget a girl I dated from June to august last year...#spits.....I played so nice, spend money on her but what do I get, she comes back to call me stingy, saying I was been a fool and in love, those comments hurts me till today....

I'm sorry she was a jerk. What I'm saying is,some are good and some are bad but that shouldn't make you a bad person. Everyone has been hurt by someone at some point inTime but that shouldn't kill our inherent good nature.

Before feminity and masculinity, there is humanity...

Phinity318:
None whatsoever. Prioblem is, women sometimes are confused about what they want. and its difficult to get a complete package in man. Women Want it all though.

No one is perfect. Man or woman. How hard is that to understand

ubunja:
you don't see how you're playing yourself.

If a girl don't chase you then she never really loved you in the first place. She wanted your attention only.

My babymama chased me. And to this day continues to. If a girl follows you no matter what you do then she is yours. If she doesn't, she was never yours

What the f**k did I just read?
So if you intentionally treat a girl like shit and she still stays then she's a keeper??
I'm so sorry to point this out but you're delusional,you need serious help.

So if a man beats,ignores, neglects,behaves unruly ( and in your case where there is a child - curves his obligations) but she stays,then she's a "keeper"

What ever happened to real men

kikelomojessy:
Babe, stop stressing yourself. Stop teaching these guys how to love.
You see on nairaland, whenever women issue comes up guys will start calling ladies all sort of names ( sebi Dem get sisters).

It's only a girl that does not love herself that'll allow a guy treat her anyhow.

The bottom line is that if there is love they won't count all these.

Imagine the op saying he ignored her whatsapp chats, good for him.

There is no way in naija a relationship will be 50-50. If you finally get a 50-50 relationship by chance, don't forget to share chores oh. Or dnt get mad when the lady feels she is equal to you.

All I know is that in any relationship if you feel less appreciated please leave.

Cheers to self worth!!

ubunja:
problem is guys think being "nice" is the dictionary meaning of "nice". The Nice of Nice Guy is not the Nice of the dictionary.

The Nice women hate is when you're AGREEABLE. When EVERYTHING is OK and right just because it's from a girl.

e.g You tell a girl you like coffee more than tea. The girl says she likes Tea. Then suddenly you no longer like coffee, you now like tea. All because you want to appear AGREEABLE.

Women HATE that shît forever.
A girl asks you a question and because you want to make her happy your answer is always YES. It's so wrong on so any levels. No-one can grow as a person with a nice guy around.

Well now,something we both agree on.... Who would have thought

Masionreay:
From my research...if you're being too nice to a woman ur name is gonna . she wants to see that real man in you by being decisive and stiff no matter how beautiful or wet toto she gives. In her subconscious mind she wants a man like that. Even u does same ...if doubt it , look through ur inner self.

There is a fine line btw being nice and being a walkover.

raybaba97:
you're saying I should just approach her.
like I like you and will like to know you or just friendly conversation?

Exactly... What's the worst that could happen??

fabienjoe:
You expressed my outrage..I mean how twisted can one get? And how does this fit into marriage?..I mean, is she gonna continue this warped game with her husband?

With everyday of this kinda power play the woman relinquishes more of her worth to the man. This goes on until a narcissistic husband is born. You can divide that into physical,mental and emotional abuse. Just because the nigger is too weak to treat her nicely regardless of her issues.

Truth is one can't give what one doesn't have. Be it respect,tenderness,affection whatever. So you can't really blame em. They need help too,they just don't realise it or won't admit to it. And so the cycle continues

prudentsolution:
The wholeness in the mind of the individual is worth appraising Ubunja, and when i see such, i stand to appluad. Don't worry, i won't simp, i promise

Dance if you want,play nice,jump,clap,simp if you f**king want to. No one should lead their lives and teach you how to lead yours...

ginovera:
Am all smiling saying yes to your line of thought. Very brilliant response dear. Wish i could share a Campari with you on this!

Alcohol is like a smile. Its better when shared.

ubunja:
I also don't get how it works. But it works like clockwork

Good news for you then.... Pussy rain!!!

ubunja:
that feeds my dick

Cheers to the end point of it all.

ubunja:
most guys don't know that to women attention will always be better than sex. Starve her for attention and she'll give you sex. Flood her with attention she'll see no need for having sex with you

For pie's sake what kinda people have you been dealing with? I mean,how can you put someone in a box and only refer to em when it suits you and it somehow increases their desire for you? I don't get how that works...

ubunja:
call it what you want.

All I know is that it makes women drop their panties and open those legs.

And that feeds your egoist appetite.

ubunja:
Guys do this. And get girls. It always works

Putting other people down so you can feel macho is weak...

Be like Nike.... Just do it

Imoh555:
Truth is people see and understand things differently most especially with the things they saw while growing up which they finally accepted and took to be a way of life... Ever had someone (a lady) say stuffs like I don't think any man can love just me

That's trauma that affect one's psychic. And treating them badly isn't gonna help. Sometimes women show you their vulnerability so you can show them their strength. Putting them down isn't helping,that's abuse. While it further shatters their ego,you are also being a jerk..

I don't believe in reverse psychology ( though it can be thrilling to work it on people ). If you like someone be nice,if you don't like em still be nice and let em go. No benefit in playing God.

Imoh555:
I am very blunt and plain with women especially when criticizing them and telling them they look terrible or they ain't shiit and the good thing is that women love it when you actually don't worship or idolize them,....treat her good and she takes you for granted, treat her like a piece of rag and watch her never wants to depart from you... (boys don't get this logic) it doesn't mean you guys should be women beaters... Thanks for your educations ubunja I hope there are some new stuffs to read from you soon.... I'm starved

Every time I see something like this,it gets me thinking what it is about women that attracts them to people who treat them like shit? Is it low self esteem, fear of the unknown, age or just plain foolishness? And I don't want to hear LOVE biko..

For heaven's sake everyone - male and female - deserves to be celebrated and appreciated. Why is it difficult to leave the asshole who treats you like shit whether male or female?

She is suffering from heart broke-age.

Y not allow them make that choice?

Not saying independence isn't a good thing - whether male or female - but family should always come first. Ask Steve Jobs or Richard Branson...

All these people wey dey say pink and white,how una take see am mbok?

Grey and green is all I see.

Festac, Ago palace, Okota.

Lolzzz

GraGra247:
Definitely an enemy.

Lolzzz

Minute ~ Minute

Minute~ 60 seconds of time
Minute~ little

WRONG

For starters,you wouldn't be asking this question