₦airaland Forum

Imagine you mistakenly go kick the robot.

BluntCrazeMan:
You want to chop your own join?

It's called tracking.

It's expensive everywhere because by law, it's only law enforcement agencies that should track.

It becomes expensive for civilians to do it.

Will track this handler for N60k.

Last price.

You'll be seeing result as it is happening until the bearer is apprhended.

I remembered one adage.

smiliyB:
Mind your business so you'll live long in the Land of the Living

Ok ma.

So bad.

Pastors are men. Treat them like men not God.

Na why all these dey happen.

Mini men.

excellence44:
Class teacher rearranged our seating position, two boys one girl while some have two girls love boy. Emma (dead body canvass) and I push the girl our and called another boy to join us. Mercy reported us, omoh come jam beating. Can't forget this incident.

Lol. And I am sure the Mercy go resemble wetin dem use fan charcoal. All those girl wey dey report person for school na terrorists.

SportsHD:
We were playing upstairs, the school was a three story building. Then one of the glass panes fell down. Went crashing three storeys down. Almost killed one corper like that.

We all just chop anger slap from the corper and we knelt down for the rest of the day.

Omg.

So you were Usain Bolt whilst in primary school?

Unless you'll explain how you could outrun bricks falling from a three storey.

Skyflygang3:
No worry u go learn the hardway

It's been years bro. We already committed.

Take your sorry advice somewhere else. See you forever...I'll still be with her.

My name na Chatinent. Back in Primary school, I was very poor in maths. Like I wouldn't even get four divided by four even if it was all we learnt that day..it was due to fear. Fear is not good in a child's life. The teacher flogged like an animal. During exams, I’d get between 2% and 8%. The results used to be announced sequentially, that is from the lowest to the highest marks. So I would always be the first or second to be called out and flogged. I mean flogged and emasculated in front of my female crushes. Did I even have crushes with my zero head?

One day, the maths results were announced and my name wasn’t among the first to be called out. The teacher got to 30%, 40%, 50%, 60% and 70%, still my paper had not been called out.

What's going on here?

Everyone in the class kept looking at me asking, Chatinent, ​what’s up? How did you pass this exam?” I was all goose pimples. My cloud nine was hitting ten. And I was like ... "Well, na God o." Immediately in zero zero seconds, I started to feel the livers of a motivational speaker that I had already started educating people backside on how to persevere no matter the odd odds.

By the time the teacher got to 80%, I was already grinning in excitement. I was that dog two tails. Peacocks in my belly. When he got to 90%, he had only one paper remaining. I then asked myself, could I have scored 90% in
maths? Or 100%? Omg.

I was feeling very anxious, sweaty, and happy now. Obviously, my dreams and prayers have been answered. My heart skipped many beats. The whole class was amazed as everyone kept looking at me. Oh, I could see the Mnesoma stealing glances at me...oh, many ants in my panties. It was unbelievable. I was all fly. My head is about to explode. Finally the teacher looked up and said, “One silly student here did not write his name on the paper and he scored 0%. Who hasn't received his paper yet?”

Rest is history. In life sha, let everyone respect themselves.

Well, make una share una experiences.

Long story short, what kind of duplex will you build with your money?

I love mine, she loves me, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Stop rubbing your shitty shortcomings on people's faces.

Is it that you've not experienced pregnancy before or you've not experienced the one that lived to be delivered, or I should just mind my business?

FERNANDEZISBACK:
Below is a link to his profile you can send him a mail..
https://www.nairaland.com/chatinent
chatinent pls come in here.. Someone needs your service..

Hi, thanks for the mention. Tracking it may be expensive for dandyspak...cos the least amount payable would be N40k.

Wetin happen? Did it just stay and explode?

Trash they use because they know never-going -to-develop countries will fall for it.

I know a funny little man,
As quiet as a mouse,
Who does the mischief that is done
In everybody’s house!
There’s no one ever sees his face,
And yet we all agree
That every plate we break was cracked
By Mr. Nobody.

’Tis he who always tears out books,
Who leaves the door ajar,
He pulls the buttons from our shirts,
And scatters pins afar;
That squeaking door will always squeak,
For prithee, don’t you see,
We leave the oiling to be done
By Mr. Nobody.

He puts damp wood upon the fire
That kettles cannot boil;
His are the feet that bring in mud,
And all the carpets soil.
The papers always are mislaid;
Who had them last, but he?
There’s no one tosses them about
But Mr. Nobody.

The finger marks upon the door
By none of us are made;
We never leave the blinds unclosed,
To let the curtains fade.
The ink we never spill; the boots
That lying round you see
Are not our boots,—they all belong
To Mr. Nobody.

— Anonymous.

Pastor: Brethren always pay your tithes and offerings. God told me to....

Church members: (gbas gbos).

Pastors:

Nollywood get script? Isn't all their movies revolving around sex, shooting, poor becoming rich and all those gibberish?

Dem never beat am?

What about the ones you stole?

Say you bi Npower baa?

Please, I denounce being a Nigerian from today

You have made it in life, well done.

Na today?

E don tey.

Besides, aren't the originals fraudstars?

Baelila:
Portable Arrested in Kenya for Insulting Ashawo in Nairobi to Pay $2000

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWVXJppJy-w

So what's the use of you exposing your walls of Jericho in your logo?

Which one be “fellow punters?”

E remain you say esprit de corps.

Omicron007:
Happy New Month Mr.Green Man, I wish you more of God's grace this month.

May lines continue to fall in pleasant places for you and all Nairalanders.



More love, less ego.

I bow to you chief.

Myzubby:
my shout out to Righteousness2
iLegendd

chatinent

Explorers

Seun

lalasticala

Droladipo

Nonso92

God1000
happy new month to you all
MAY GOD ALMIGHTY BLESS YOU
TO THE PERSON THAT WILL COMMENT BELOW
AND TO EVERYONE THAT WILL LIKE THIS POST .

Chief, I bow.

Nigerians and titles. Which one bi His Excellency again upandan? I get am before na property?

Good!