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Stats: 2,276,371 members, 4,988,503 topics. Date: Wednesday, 19 June 2019 at 02:45 AM
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|Romance / Re: The Theory Of Attraction by Chidimizzle: 6:44am On Jun 16|
Lol! @ Brainwashing. Too lengthy to read already but I get the idea that you're busy trying to differentiate a man from a woman. I never said they were equal, I don't think they're same or as you term it: equal. By design we know that both sexes aren't 'equal' so I don't know where you picked that up from. Equal opportunities is what is sought not making both sexes equal.
You read comments off one topic on social media from me and can clearly label me myopic cos I have an opinion contrary to yours, it's normal on here so I'm not surprised. I see nowhere you said all I have written is wrong and do not happen, you only tried to show me why it is so, so thanks for the refresher course.
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|Romance / Re: The Theory Of Attraction by Chidimizzle: 2:58am On Jun 16|
Well I'll be broad and highlight not just marriage but society and religion.
Gender oppression in marriages could take on several forms but the clearly seen and the ones we can easily identify with is gender roles. Women are projected to be homemakers, housekeepers and what not whereas men are supposed to be the providers, protectors etc. Why assign roles?
What of forced marriages, under aged marriages?
Marriage ceremonies clearly show you who is expected to wear the boots afterwards. Who is paid for and purchased, to put it mildly, whose dowry is paid for?
And if a woman chooses not to get into such patriarchal marriage system and wait for a man who understands things her way, she gets bullied by society. Today a man i thought was smart put up a status saying women who are unmarried should be very worried.
Not to go far, look at what happens here on the daily. Why are women over a certain age on nairaland termed 'evening newspaper' yet men in such age groups are termed what? Isn't that oppression? Why should a woman's worth be defined by her marital status?
Let's take a look at Islamic marriages, do you think it pleases a woman to have to share her man with upto 3 other women? But she has to cos the religion says it's normal.
Female oppression is a lot to talk about but i must sleep now.
|Romance / Re: The Theory Of Attraction by Chidimizzle: 2:30am On Jun 16|
Its everywhere, marriage, religion, occupation, society, etc.
I really don't know what examples you seek again cos if with all that happens around us on the daily you see it not, I doubt that I can provide answers that'll soothe you.
|Romance / Re: The Theory Of Attraction by Chidimizzle: 1:56am On Jun 16|
Nope. I was referring to the general idea of, in your words 'patriarchy oppressing women since time immemorial'. Recently I got introduced to a popular series: The Handmaid's Tale and I found out the story was based on a book written in 1985.
I found it perplexing that a book (about female oppression albeit luridly) while written in the 80s still stood out in 2019. Goes to show that women are still oppressed. I don't have to be a feminist to clearly see that.
|Romance / Re: The Theory Of Attraction by Chidimizzle: 1:23am On Jun 16|
It's not a 'feminist narrative', it's reality, face it.
|Romance / Re: Naija Husband Talks To Too Many Girls: Advice Please? by Chidimizzle: 2:04pm On May 18|
He's bullshitting you and the nerve to generalise such nasty habit applies to all Nigerian men.
|Pets / Re: Please Help Sanchez My Puppy Is Dying by Chidimizzle: 10:28pm On May 16|
Oh dear! So sorry about your loss. Never owned a dog before, infact i didn't like them much until I had the opportunity to look after my ex's dog. That dog was such a lovely friend that it broke my heart when he died. I still love that dog and miss him dearly.
|Travel / Re: Should I Move To The UK Or Return To Nigeria? by Chidimizzle: 7:40am On May 15|
Isn't it clear that it is you who can't handle an alternate opinion. I clearly stated how both sides weren't wrong but you saw it as taking sides cos i didn't condemn the other side and pitch my tent on your side. Oga get off your high horse, take suggestions objectively and stop acting pained.
Again, maybe you should go back several pages and read my take on the matter. Some of us have just clearly mastered the art of seeing things from different perspectives, a skill you clearly lack.
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|Music/Radio / Re: Asa's New Single 'the Beginning' Is Out!!! by Chidimizzle: 2:07am On May 15|
|Travel / Re: Should I Move To The UK Or Return To Nigeria? by Chidimizzle: 1:54am On May 15|
Lol! You're beginning to sound like a broken record on most education abroad thread I see you on. We all know that the fact that one studied/studies abroad doesn't mean the govt of the country promised or owe them jobs but stop trying to stifle the voices of people saying it as it is.
Education abroad has become a strategic means of fuelling the economy for most countries, even the citizens decry this act.
Doesn't hurt for people to get the word out on this. In the long run it's same message you and them are trying to pass across: don't expect anything cos truly they owe you nothing but want your money to fuel their economy. Leaves them aware of the likely consequences of whatever decision is made.
|Travel / Re: Should I Move To The UK Or Return To Nigeria? by Chidimizzle: 9:01pm On May 14|
That's it. They won't outrightly say these things but the way things are designed shows you their target.
|Travel / Re: Should I Move To The UK Or Return To Nigeria? by Chidimizzle: 11:36am On May 14|
It's not discrimination. It's the law to consider yours first before others. Take for instance in Ireland, you can't sponsor a work permit for a foreign national in a company that has less than 50% of EEA citizens. Even at that companies find it cumbersome to go through all these hassles to offer sponsorship. It is proven that companies will rather take on someone without the need for visa sponsorship against u who needs one and some claim it can even be someone less qualified.
I speak of what I know and have seen here in the EU. It's a big region and with free travel, an EU citizen can live and work almost anywhere in the region with little to no hassles compared to you who isn't one. Well, the US might be different but here in the EU it's different. The US is as good as a free state but here in the EU things are still done 'traditionally'.
I don't see it as discrimination, I see it as taking care of their own. Their citizens are their priority and it's commonplace to put them first.
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|Travel / Re: Should I Move To The UK Or Return To Nigeria? by Chidimizzle: 5:13am On May 14|
Amazingly I'm exactly where you are. Came over to Ireland to do my Masters and I'm presently wondering what my next step will be. It's not moving back home though, lol! I'll look for a job around the world and wherever it springs up I go. This is against the advice of family and friends who think I should remain in Erurope even if it means washing plates full time. The average Nigerian believes life should follow that pattern of making money and going on to marry and breed children. Well, some of us have other plans.
You'll first have to understand that most people won't get what's happening as the present crop of Nigerian youths are driven by material gains and if we're being honest, even you the OP sound that way. My grouse with living abroad is I will probably never get the kind of job I want which isn't because I want the money or status that comes with it but because it lacks the satisfaction i crave. I want a job where i can see the (positive) impact I make in people's lives.
A lot of folks shouting 'be happy with what you have' and 'Nigerians abroad being ungrateful' and all them similar yen yen yen forget that happiness is relative. For some making money brings happiness regardless of how it's made, for others wearing suit and marking register in a fortune 500 company where bills take up the earnings is happiness...happiness is relative and everyone needs to find their happy.
The factors we contend with are numerous but it's a structure already in place and we can only double efforts to break in or sit back and bemoan our fate as blacks equally from a developing nation notorious for everything negative...i say you chose the former.
The global north is built for its citizens and breaking in as a citizen of the global south takes triple the effort. I don't blame them, it'll be foolhardy to consider the black man with a history of unprogressiveness versus the white man who has proven his worth over and over again. Even the Paki and Indians are making better progress in measuring up compared to the black continent. I've studied with them and tbh, they are smart. If nothing their educational background is as good as what's obtainable here. I digress.
OP, it is not a bad thing to be ambitious and want more from life. Like what's the beauty in living if you're not happy atleast right? Again, like myself I don't think I'll be truly happy at a job i detest. But those jobs we seek are not for our picking in Nigeria either. Before you can get your dream job in Nigeria, if it's in govt you have to pay, pray and likely do dirty things to get that job. If it's in the private sector, you still have those from the global north to contend with. Because truth be told, we still vie for these positions back home with foreigners who have the experience and qualifications compared to us. We struggle here with them, we go back home and still struggle with them cos international companies, private companies etc. will take a foreigner compared to you...even in your own land.
Our system is flawed, the global north has made things easier for their folks to integrate easily with factors such as ability to travel freely/permits, age, experience, qualification etc. So you're still faced with this competition back home not only by foreigners but by Nigerians with that added advantage (E.g. yankee/jand born and raised).
As a lot of people (Me inclusive) have stressed it out, going back home should be your last option due to numerous factors such as failing economy, insecurity, erratic power supply etc, it'll be best you take these into consideration as you decide. You're unhappy now but don't make decisions yet, weigh the pros and cons carefully.
For Nigeria it's not only about making money, would you be able to survive in an environment that frustrates the positivity in people? There's a reason people are fleeing and people have been honest to say why. Don't rush back home. Another factor to think about is if you want to have children. It'll be a disservice to bring a child into the Nigerian environment seeing as you have the opportunity to endure, be patient and give the child an enabling environment like that found in the global north.
I need not tell you not to marry that girl as I'm sure you know what to do about that. A friend of mine presently rounding up his Masters in the UK is going 'mental' thinking of his next step. He's heard stories of all them arranged marriages and knows to steer clear. The level of desperation in the UK has straight men claiming to be gay to settle in.
Bottomline: look for jobs far and wide. Nigeria should come in only under these circumstances: you get an appointment of that well paying job or you have saved so much money that even if your start-up fails you can still be on your feet. Either way just know as one who has lived in a developed region you'll likely get frustrated at the slow pace of common sense in your homeland.
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|Travel / Re: Should I Move To The UK Or Return To Nigeria? by Chidimizzle: 3:26am On May 14|
It's not pure hogwash. In Europe by law, the citizens of a country are first considered before other EU nationals then other citizens of the global North (regions with plenty acronyms like the EEA, EFTA etc.) before citizens of the global south. It's not wrong, it's the law and I understand why.
|Music/Radio / Asa's New Single 'the Beginning' Is Out!!! by Chidimizzle: 1:41am On May 14|
To all my Asa music lovers I bring good tidings, lol!
The new single 'The Beginning' is out! I can't believe I stayed up for this song to drop but I'm happy I did cos it's well worth it!
This single comes out after 5 years of silence from the maestro who is Nigeria's most talented female musician (yeah I said it ).
To be honest this isn't the best track she's put out but we'll take this with both arms stretched out and with sssoooo much gratitude in our hearts cos we're just happy she's still got it in her, she's still got it!
You're still the greatest Asa!
The lyrics, the beats, the harmony. . .this is ethereal and if you don't think this tune is heavenly I wonder what your idea of heaven is
Listen and be blessed too, lol!
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