Deleted.

20/20 hindsight.

Thanks again SOSSO. For every nimrod who can not string sentences into a concept there is a "SOSSO".

@Donzman

It was his considered opinion that for many centuries Ndigbo, more than the Jews of old, walked in darkness, stumbling and mistaking shadows for light, hating, despising and killing one another at will or at instigation.

We walked in darkness? Like white people killing & raping during the THE CRUSADES darkness? Or our skin is black darkness?

ODEKU APPARENTLY YOU CAN NOT READ.

PLEASE DO NOT ADDRESS ME OR ANY OF MY "DELUSIONS" UNTIL YOU HAVE READ THE THREAD BEING REFERNCING.

I AM AWARE THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKE TO SHOW OFF THEIR IGNORANCE & I HOPE YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THEM.

@Subcareer & others
Just b/c you want to adhere to the "Osu caste system" (i.e. discriminate) doesn't mean all Igbo people do. SO when you speak of it, don't put it off on "every nation" etc. If you're going to discriminate, own up to it, don't hide behind "tradition" and/or "culture".

@Nia
Interesting article. Didn't know the Biafran Govt. ended de jure Osu caste system. . .
. . .But did anyone notice how antiSemitic the article was? . . .it also sounded anti-igbo & antiBlack. . .
. . . . . .I guess nothing says "equality" & "justice" like white Catholics come to civilize the niggers Africans *eye roll*

JosBoy4Lif:

How old were you in de 80's sef?

I was 0-6 years of age. By 5 I had an official videotape of hers & used to watch & singalong after school.

Thanks Sosso!

I already stated that I just wanted to know the story.

If ya'll are gonna campaign for him then don't answer questions so dismissively.

Yea the "difficult to leave with" statement is a cop out -- definately a red flag.

Ikamefa said it all.

If he wants to work it out, really emphasize counselling.

mochafella:

Rebel leaders

Wanna join the militia?

Damn, people are still trippin on this?

My 1st reaction to the thread was to wonder if I was one, but then my fam goes to events & I've never heard of it so I guess I'm not.

All this stigma is something awful.

Subcareer or whomever are you saying that these people were sacrificed (what kind of sacrifice? not death? but tied to the cult/religion/god?) and so their descendants are considered what? An abomination or something?

I've never heard of people being osu (abominations?) in the present. Are ya'll sure this still goes down?

You said they don't stand out as far as looks or name, so why all the hating?

***
As for myself, I'd marry one.

It'd be sad not to go to umunna meetings but people naturally branch out & move away from some traditions of their childhood anyway.

That's awesome!

Enjoy yourselves. . .

I'm sad I won't be there too.

@Shagari2 & iice
We'll have to wait & see indeed. Whitney was my woman in the 80s/early 90s so I'm routing for her but. . .with no expectations.

@Radiant & Uche2nna
I don't think of myself as not being "keen" on marriage but like I said people are content and/or miserable whether they're married or single. Being married doesn't "make" you happy like yeast makes bread rise. It can contribute to happiness but I think happiness, joy, contentment are things people must feel for themselves -- marriage works best that way. (These are all just ideas as I've never been married.)

If I pray to be married & am miserable, people will say "be careful what you wish for". So in the interest of being careful what I wish for, I don't wish for any[i]one[/i].

[center]Having said all that, men are mean. [/center]

You're such a good sport Uche. Anyhow, like I said, I didn't mean to be ambiguous. What I'm trying to say is that "30" is not an age I'm attaching my hopes and dreams too. I want to be (a)content, (b)successful & (c) to have a family, not necessarily in that order. If I do not have (c) by my 30th birthday should I drink poison or cut myself?

While I'm not praying to be unmarried, I don't pray to be married either. I have nothing against marriage but it's not something I pray about. So when I added my 20 kobo to the thread this was my mindset. Understand me now?

Not hater, but ol' boy ain't attractive.

Well I know (or have heard) that some Yorubas have non-Yoruba surnames b/c of repatriation from the US & Brazil.

I just wanted to know the story on Donald Duke. If he can't tell us who he is, why should I vote for him?

"Weting be the wahala"? Didn't say there was any. But I do think it's odd. I'd prefer for the Nigerian Prez to have a Nigerian name -- does it make him a better/worse person? No. But why should we be the only culture/country that arbitrarily takes on other people's surname (father's name)? Not a good look. Not good politics.

I just wanted to know why.

How is that ambiguous? Maybe you're too obtuse to understand.

Uche2nna:

So if Ophrah is 60yrs and unmarried that makes it Ok.C'mon chinani you don't expect me to believe that you are praying to be unmarried in your thirties

The Oprah comment was meant as a joke. I didn't mean to imply anything about Oprah's marital status especially since she's been w/ the same man for almost 25 years & doesn't wish to marry.

As for me, I'm not praying to be married or unmarried since either one can leave you miserable or content.

My statement wasn't meant to be ambiguous. Au contrarie I was suggesting there is an age between young & old. The 30s is that age (decade). (Even 40 is not "old" it is 'older' but not "old". Not yet. That's 50. )

If you think that ladies are either "young or old" then that is your opinion. I don't have to accept your opinion & you don't have to accept mine.

Haha Shagari2! I forgot about that. But then again I always suspected that that was a joke. But what if they were serious (i.e. if that was their concept of commitment/love)? Anyhow, I laughed.





@Topic
I didn't want to bring it up before but I doubt Whitney will actually go t/o w/ the divorce.

Why is his surname Duke?

I don't think 30 is old. Why should it be? 30 may not be 'young' but it's not old either. Ask Oprah.

@Idiot
The issues you raised were raised and answered (by me, just my guess) on pg 2. Also on pg 2, she said she is 30.

@Ally
If he mentions marriage that is a good sign. Why don't you mention it too? If you do already than mention it a bit more to give him a hint. That way he knows what's on your mind w/o you having to propose.

But I don't think you need to worry. 30 is not old & you're relationship is not 2 yrs old yet. You wouldn't want to rush things & then be disappointed.

I don't know the answers to any of your questions but try checking out the British website esp the info on Student Visas & appeals.

But check back. I know the more knowledgable folk will be around to offer guidance.

Best wishes.

Make friends in Washington D.C. -- ask your friends in other states if they can put you in touch w/ anyone there. From the D.C. friends you'll meet Virginia friends (Arlington based) and eventually Richmond, VA friends.

Also go to any community (African/Nigerian) events. There's got to be some.

I dunno about meeting people on the web though. Sounds kinda creepy.

But you could start up a hi5 or myspace, add your friends from other places then add women you'd like to be friends with.

WOW! Just saw this. Makes me sad. Was hoping Osaze would be stay single until I met him.

http://www.thisdayonline.com/nview.php?id=40095

Is this the lady's picture? (scroll down) I think she's pretty.

Don't know if this is true but best wishes to both.

Whitney's divorcing Bobby?

It's a wonder what a moment of sobriety can do.

mochafella:

Would women accept the same "training" to conform to what the man needs and wants?

It's not about conformity; it's about freedom of self-expression w/in intimate relationships. Go reread what Mamaput said b/c she stated it so well. If a black American man asked about marrying a Naija the advice would be the same.

@Drusilla
Mamaput explained what I was going for. I hope you understand where I'm coming from.

NigeriaHat, I'm having a hard time taking you seriously.

First off, the paying for skyscraper story shows how stupid the vistor/tourist is. I have no sympathy for such nonsense. It's an adolescent scam -- any adult who'd fall for it deserves to. (The story also makes the visitor a liar too.)

Everyone's entitled to their opinion but how do you know the Abacha story? First off, Nigerians should not be judged by Abacha since they (the ones I know) can't stand his tyrannical, blood thirsty ass. Secondly, how do you know what mental note he made? Are you his mind? Is he your father? And how do you know what the President of Ghana saw? or said?

You're not proud of Nigeria. I get it. Congratulations. But don't the stories?

Nothing's wrong with it.

I agree w/ Sista's 2nd post. Education is so vital right now.

From what I read of this thread you don't like when people bring up your age, but just know that there are lots & lots of Naijas (incl. ndi'Igbo) who were raised in America. So if you want to kill 2 birds w/ one stone you could just wait & meet one in college or post-grad. I know, know, know they stay in the A, cause they're defnly in Texas.

I also think that dating is a good way for young people (myself included) to learn about people, the world & relationship how-tos. So don't rush into anything w/ anybody & have fun. As far as dating, you can date who you want as long as their "decent" (as Naijas like to say).

But marriage is a different story.

mamaput:

The only compromise you can make ,is to find one that fits in.

This is important. Not everyone fits -- even "nice" guys may not fit. You should think hard about the type of relationship you want to have w/ your family & heritage before marrying anyone (even another Nigerian and/or Igbo person). Realize that people change & concerns change, so will he still "fit" and/or love you if you become more expressive culturally? If you want to go to Naija every few years? Or would he rather spend the money going to Hawaii where neither of you have relatives? (Maybe that's your preference, I don't know, this is just food for thought).

Secondly he could be one of those "nice" guys (sweet talker or not) who's not "into" Africa. Basically he'll be w/ you. . .as long as you don't do any "Africa shiit" like dress up, cook the foods, say the words etc. etc.

Some one said you don't "look African". *eye roll* Well if one day you wake up & "look African" will he leave you? Is it a disease sha? I guess "being African" might be the plague. . .

Bottom Line: Anything wrong w/ dating an A.A or non-African? No
Anything's wrong w/ marrying an A.A. or non-African? No. But proper eye-shining is necessary.

mochafella:

Ally! Hold up, did u say some other guys are proposing marriage to you? How could you consider that a serious proposal if u've never dated these guys? According to you, u've been with your present boyfriend for 15 months.

That question remains unanswered

Hey it's the African way of life. . .or one of them at least. 'Dating' isn't embedded in our culture so dudes don't feel bad poaching gfs to 'take' as wives. With this in mind, when a man proposes to you, you can still consider his words "serious" b/c you know his mindset/p.o.v on the whole 'dating' issue.

Ever read The Sun? Half the men in there say they proposed to their wife w/ half a dozen other men at bay.

That's my take, but I'll wait for Ally to respond for herself.