₦airaland Forum

Congratulations to her! I hope she does well for Anambra & herself!

I don't know. *Chinani's not really my name. I found it online. I picked the name b/c it sounds Igbo. http://www.ngex.com/personalities/babawilly/dictionary/pidgino.htm Look under omoge.

My name is Ogonnaya. Her father's in-law or namesake of her father's in-law. Not impressed by it myself, but it's seen me this far so what can I do. But you know how it goes if you don't see your people everyday. . .some of my cousins swear my name is Ijeoma.
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*Doesn't "chinani" sound so pretty though? What should you say it means?*[/center]

Sista:
Something is wrong with my Java scripts so I can not quote you. If you know what is wrong with my Java scripts, please tell me. Being in nairaland without the ability to quote is useless.

I'm computer dumb, but I think it'll be temporary.

Sista:
Any way, no, I was not saying what I said because of what they have said to me. I remember this one AA woman who came in here for support, she said she was in love with this nigerian man but that she had been hearing some rumors about nigerian men. She talked about how in love they are but she also expressed some of her concerns. She made it very clear that she loved that nigerian man. Some of the sisters in nairaland was telling her that the rumors are true but not for all nigerian men, they were telling her to be careful however becuase when a nigerian man dates outside of nigerian women, he is more than likely to be doing it for the papers.

I remember that discussion/poster. I think you might have a point here. But again, the women came w/ doubts and she was given reason to doubt. See what I mean? When white women come in, some people will feel rude saying "be careful" out of nowhere. I feel bad about that thread though b/c I did feel as though that AA woman got discouraged.

Sista:
Another woman came in here, she was a white woman, she talked about how her nigerian man cheated on her with a woman down the street, or somethng like that, and got the woman pregnate. She went on and talked about how she had to find out in the streets that another woman was having her husbands baby. Nairaland members consoled her and told her they were sorry. None of them told her that he only used her for the papers and he never really loved her.

Still on that thread. The difference is what mamaput said (salt). And b/c it's already OBVIOUS that the man was using her. The woman went point for point telling how he'd humiliated & deceived her. It was no point, stating the "you know you got played" statement. With the AA woman we were warning her to shine her eyes (walk w/ her eyes open so as not to be made a fool of) w/ the white woman she'd already been made a fool of, so "sorry" is all that can be said.

Sista:
Also, of course white women flatter black men but that does not mean that black people should let flattery cloud them from telling white women the truth. To me, this shows that we validate our beauty by what people otside of the black race think about us.

That's exactly what it means! I wish people in general didn't do this and I wished women and black people didn't do it especially. But we do and so I wrote it b/c that's what the situation currently is. I just hope we can "grow ourselves up" or mature as adults while raising our children better than this.

Sista:
If they are going to give this woman advice, they should give her the advice the same way they gave it to the AA woman, from an objective and subjective point of view. Un my opinion, people in nairaland were jsut telling this white womna what she wanted to hear. At the same time, they were telling the AA woman something that may have caused her to loose hope.

You're right. NL posters, myself including, might be doing a disservice to some white women on here. But then, going back to my previous point, no one wants to talk out of turn. Like if you came in only talking about sunshine & lollie pops & I asked a negative question about your partner, wouldn't it sound unnecessary? Like hating?

Sista:
We black people love to hurt each other while we nuture and care for everyone else.

Black Americans really do believe this. I say that b/c I don't think Africans see things in this context. We're not doing it (saying it) to hurt anyone. I think some people have (a) bad advice (b) myopic views & (c) simply feed into other people's existing views/anxieties.

Sista:
I find it very interesting how black people in nairaland support this white Cucchi in her relationship with a brethren Nigerian man. However, when a AA sister comes in here and tells the story of how she is with a Nigerian man, she gets told things like the Nigerian man is using her, or that they are culturally different, when the thing is, any black person would be more compatible with another black person way before a white person would be. Why are you guys lying to this White Cucchi? Why do black people always feel the need to support and comfort white people even to the point of lying to them.

Interesting. Are you saying this b/c of what you've observed ppl saying to A.A. women on NL or b/c of what they've said to you? Really I don't think there's a face-to-face comparison for this.

I do think people find what they're looking for though. For instance, in the last few months there's been a rash of black women, American and Caribbean, (i.e., Jessilina, BigSis but there are others) coming on NL to dogg out Nigerians & Naija men so they get what they obviously came for -- a dogg fight.

However most white women come on for moral support, information, and/or to speak glowingly of Nigerians and/or Nigerian men. Few people can resist that sort of bold flattery and even fewer try. So those women too get what they're looking for -- a "thank you" for the validation they supplied to so many who are unsure about looks, income, career, (their new) identity and future.

Simple huh?

Sista:
Stop worrying about what other people think is wrong with it if you see nothing wrong with it yourself. When you ask people what is wrong with something you your self approve of, it seems like you are not that sure that you really approve.

The truth in its plainest form. Only the unsure seek approval. What's your problem w/ this statement Ndipe?

IBEXY:
Come to think of it, they are sometime easier to have than our sisters out here.
An average African lady wants you for what you've got only (apologies to the genuine ladies).

An unintelligent statement. *** I don't need your apology, thank you.

Wow, thanks for the post Kamsi. I didn't know of those names.

Oh, I really love Kamsiyochuckwu. It's so lovely. Kaobimdi, I also like but I'd be afraid that people would think I call my child "Kobi" after the American bb player (a ridiculous man). What do you think? Anyone ever ask you that?

Oh my I'm a huge fan but I didn't know he was in all those films! I have some watching to do. As for Inside Man, I saw it & liked it.

Read about this this morning. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061029/ap_on_re_af/nigeria_plane_crash

Reportedly 6 survivors, but I'm holding my breath.

Davidylan, I think it's a mistake to oppose people in the name of religion. They may be radicals and if they are evil then their actions are not sanctioned by Islam. It only politicizes, polarizes the situation to refer to them as such. Then, "the world" is too bogged down in propaganda to do anything worth doing. The cost of being offensive and insensitive is human lives & human suffering.

I, for one, don't see too many people being "politically correct" instead I see many being intentionally offensive & decrying political correctness.