₦airaland Forum

LoverBwoy:
Ive been thinking since so many new age ladies want to be the only wife why is it still going on (in Nigeria of course)

Because the women entering into these relationships are not the "new age ladies".

LoverBwoy:
though it is on the decrease it will seem the same women shouting "never in my life will my husband marry another woman after me", will be the same women marry a man that is already married _{not necessarily the same}

I think the women shouting "never" mean never.

If so, can someone explain the underlying reason that would prompt a wealthy woman to seek a spouse for her husband, even when they exist a strong matrimonial bond between these two parties?

Well it is fiction. . .

Seun:
Chinani, what do you mean by "the ability to be vulnerable"? Is that good or bad?

Good.

I didn't see the humor.

I found it offensive.

Next time I'll write:

"Not funny. Offensive."

And leave it at that.

dearie:
That two people are in love does not necessarily mean they are good for marriage.

Absolutely true! People change and if the people in love have not "Come into themselves" if they are not very mature 25-28 then after couple of years of marriage they may not be as compatible & problems will develop.

dearie:
Then what determines longevity in marriage?

Love, very much so. But also the ability to complement each other, to be friends! To settle disputes well (w/o hurting feelings). To be honest! To be vulnerable!!!

It's iire, just as long as he knows where the limits are. I mean a lady has to take precautions as to not put herself in any compromising positions. If the dude starts to think that you're his girlfriend or something, walk.

[quote author=must_a_far link=topic=7950.msg574997#msg574997 date=1156223787]if we guys could get pregnant. it is on o, enough of us would not only do anyone of them but also make sure we get pregnant and milk they asses dry. or better still do it like the females do. GET LAID BY A CELEB, CRY RAPE, AND GET A PAY OFF INSTEAD OF A COURT TUSSLE.[/quote]Nawaooo! You & Mocha are cynical fcuks! I guess celebs never rape anyone. B/c you (men) think any women would Bleep them I guess any woman would Bleep them. As long as men think it is or isn't possible then I guess it must be so.

You get a vagina, you get penetrated, you "cry rape" _{since that's what women do} and then you can come talk some more shiit to me.

Until then shut up! You just might hear some of your sisters "cry rape". . .or are they not women too?

mochafella:
u know I could ask what the female fascination is with being the only one

Answer: Respect

Anymore questions?

[quote author=hot-angel link=topic=21059.msg574953#msg574953 date=1156219663]@ chinani, im doing alrite, u havent been arround for a while now. how u doing?[/quote]I'm fine. Doing better everyday.

BlackMamba:
it may be possible to obtain an automatic divorce after a 2 years separation under one of the many diverse customary marriages that remain valid under the Nigerian Law.

Naw, if that was true, do you think half the senators & governors would still have wives? Think about who writes these laws. . .think about how many Nigerian couples bear lengthy separations for a multitude of reasons.

How you are Hot A?

olunifemi:
but before he comes back?

I meant that I'd do this slowly over several weeks but uh yea it's not really a realistic game plan. On the realer side, I'd just do what was best for me.

gigitte:
anyway i think when we are raising our male kids, we should slap this nonsense out of their heads and not allow their dads or other men to put it back lol.

Co-signed!

And I mean that in a big way. We must teach men while they are still our sons.

Myself, I pray for girls (at the appropriate time of course!) but if I get boys I'll raise them the right way, not so that I can be proud of them but so they can be proud of themselves.

gigitte:
i wouldnt say divorce is uber taboo
a taboo but uber? haba now lol
its just very quiet and nobody really talks about it when it happens

LOL. ok, I rescind my uber.

I feel you Gigitte. But somehow I don't think men are worried about women/girls on this level.

I think they just want to be the "first to get there".

nferyn:
Obviously it's a value judgement. Whether I'm more or less equiped that e.g. the pope to make such a judgement is really not relevant. I personally [/b]see far less value in the morality of people that act good [b]out of fear than in that of those that do so out of their own free will.

My point of calling it a value judgment was not to put the pope of anyone else's value judgment above your own but rather to point out that no one substitute's anyone else's value for their own. So if you have your subjective view, based on your subjective values, how can you reach one, teach one? I don't disagree with you but I think your value judgment rife examples do not convince anyone who does disagree with you.

nferyn:
You have to admit that there are a considerable number of theists that are steered by fear of the adverse consequences of sin. I don't know how many times I've heard Nigerians proclaim they are looking for a god[b]fearing [/b]partner to share their life with (and then settle for something not quite like that ).

Well I always take the "Godfearing" thing with a grain of salt. Most of the Nigerian I know think in more than one language. If you ask, "Don't you mean such & such" They will say "Yes that's what I said". Anyhow, that comment I ignore.

nferyn:
Still, hell is a central concept in Christian theology. Few Christians will claim not to believe in hell without separating them from their fellow Christians.

I'll have to get back to you on this one. I think I have a counter point. . .I think.

Shiit like this, I don't like.

When a black woman has many kids, she a hoe. . .when I white woman does, she's on MSN.

*eye roll*

Efani:
i would marry a fine a$$ white woman so my kids will b mixed

Why?

Honestly you should like you have issues? Since I don't wanna prejudge I'll anxiously await your intelligent reply.

I'm tired of men decrying the virginity of women/girls!

Where is your own virginity?

Or did you want to borrow hers sha?

I guess she should be pure enough for two while you chop & go w/ every girl on the street?

Maybe Nigeria's Teenage Girls only boast about men like you. . .maybe she traded her virginity for you. . .

. . .and you were what?

Nothing?

No.

In fact hell no!

But this is b/c the Nigerian penal code isn't designed for private matters such as divorce. Divorce is still uber taboo in Nigeria though it does happen. I think this man is telling you stories.

Is he in the UK while his wife is in Nigeria? If so, they're prolly still together & he's just shining his kobo with you.

Well firstly, I'd stopped having marital relations with him. I guess my self drive is really high, I'd leave him so I could find someone else to have marital relations with. Kicking him out of my (our?) house would somewhere in there.

If I was older & filthy rich, I'd buy a loft & move myself in. One day he'd come home & be very surprised. . .

My husband has a mistress!?!

. . .didn't even know I was married. . .


[center]Just wanted to make everyone smile [/center]

When I wrote "I meant all these things" I was referring to my entire post (incl. the comments about theists) not just the comments about non-believers.

nferyn:
It's a common phallacy among theists to assume that because no external ultimate sense to existence can be detected in a purely materialistic world that an atheist cannot personally [/b]give sense to his or her existence, on the contrary.

I agree with this. I was actually an existentialist at 14. Since it's been nearly 7 years since my beliefs have changed I won't try to explain it to anyone but you have a point.

nferyn:
This freedom allows [b]amore genuine besis for a humanistic morality, as it is not something absolute, instituted from above, but a personal choice.

This is a value judgment. While I may agree with it, I don't think that you are more equipped than the Pope or Al haji to decide which peoples are more genuine. As long as one views his life meaningfully, isn't the source of meaning secondary?

nferyn:
Let me turn the argument around, what is the value of moral behaviour if it is borne out of fear for eternal damnation?

I think the concept of hell has little moral value. I think it's primarily negative and antithetical to God. I don't believe in hell.

nferyn:
Now, why would you assume that atheism would lead to a higher proportion of nihilistic or apathetic thinking than among theists? It might very well be possible that the exact opposite is true (Calvinistic determinism, End Times prophecies, etc)

Well I did not assume. I interpret the views of atheists as nilhistic and sometimes apathetic. (Not all of them.) Your post made me realize that maybe this is a value judgment borne out of my subjectivity. This may be true but even when I try to be neutral that is my interpretation. Again, let me stress, I do not be all or most. . .a better way to think of it is greater than the percentage you'd find in a random sampling of the population and greater than the percentage you'd find in a sampling among believers alone.