₦airaland Forum

Cancellation is so abrupt, so sudden, so final.

How about postponing the wedding.....indefinitely!!!

Lol.....just kidding, run as fast as your two feet can carry you. Call it anything that's palatable to them sha, as long as you don't marry into bondage. Goodluck.

Speaking of English, just decided to post this here

It's either

Don't fall victim to land scams OR
Don't be a victim of land scams

Some ad I saw in property section.....the English needs correcting

Some people will gladly moderate for free....He should just open the applications to everyone

Still waiting for front page to refresh o....nairaland is my coffee break as I study on my iPad

I will mos def NOT be going there for shopping/visit talkless of honeymoon
My personal preference........everybody and their own

texanomaly: This is not the first eyebrow comment I've seen you make. You seem to have this "thing" about eyebrows.

It's true....lol

[quote author=Elli-dude]Calm down pls...Her dad sponsors her education..If she decides to go with her B.f, consider the consequences except maybe he's rich and can cover up the payment of her school fees..Like till she graduates..[/quote]Don't tell me to calm down!!
Don't go there

[quote author=lovette_frank]Eli dude, thanks for this thread. For the first time ever in my existence I've been able to tell a non-family member what I went through as a kid and what I'm still going through as an adult. I've been crying the weight/torture of all these years out (since I saw your thread) and the more I say out these things the better I'm feeling. So I might as well type it here. Planning on seeing a counsellor or something.

I lived in constant fear, I still live in fear. I haven't been to Nigeria in a long while because of fear of being in the same place as my parents. Each time I go back home, I get physically abused (even in the presence of my siblings) all in the name of discipline. Mind you, I'm almost 23 years old.

I stuttered as a kid( and now) so life was harder than normal, getting a syllable out was a task. My parents would laugh at me anytime I stutter, in the presence of my siblings. They would tell me I'm too slow and sluggish and I suffer from self-esteem issues. I hardly spoke in public. They made me feel like sh!t. I was always compared to someone else's child. I was hardly good at anything (to them). Anytime I was picked out to recite something at event or do something related to public-speaking, I'd keep hearing comments like this from my parents

"I no pity you , better don't bring disgrace to this family by going out there to stutter, you mates will be speaking normally, you will be acting epileptic"..... I was a child for goodness's sake. 5/6/7 yr old child!

When I get beaten, it's usually with heels, belts, koboko, Cain, sticks etc. It always lasted for hours. And by the time the section is done, I'll be half naked/or totally naked with marks on my body still pleading for forgiveness. Each time I stop to plead, that means I get another round of beating. I would go to school the next day with blood sticking to my uniform.

I get accused wrongly all the time and I get severely (understatement) punished for it.

They would justify these barbaric acts by saying children are full of demons that should be casted out with beatings, and I'd appreciate these sessions of torture in the future.

This is the future, I'm still has fücked up as anyone else in the world. I can't talk in public. I have a very low self esteem. I'm very clingy and this is even affecting my current relationship with my boyfriend. They raised a low-confidence girl. I wasn't allowed to interact with kids my age, not even my cousins.

Sometimes, thinking back, I wish I could stab them, hurt them. I don't even have a normal relationship with my siblings.

African parents are devils when it comes to raising kids. They suck!!!!! Beating a 5 year old for 5 hours is animalistic.

So much to say......

I want to leave all these behind but I can't, I still get abused anytime I see them, even though I'm 22. They'll be coming over later this year, and I'm not looking forward to it.....
they're still sponsoring my education, so they have a hold on me..[/quote]I am so pissed and so pained on your behalf

NOBODY has a hold on you
You are 22 , you don't have to put up with this
Talk to your boyfriend
I am soooooo pissed off........

Igbo

I think thee are a lot of retirees there whose children are not in the country
That's whythere are these this big huge houses which are practically empty

Anyway that's what I observed with ppl I know sha

Pangea: The description above is a classical example of a CULT!

Pangea: The description above is a classical example of a CULT!

Gbam

lol....Official Comedian of Nairaland

She s really pretty and she doesn't look 40

The lady with a child shouldn't remarry but the same father of the child gallivanting around looking for next casual sex that is free to marry baa?

The lady who endured ridicule and disgrace to carry the child for 9 months, give birth, nurture and fend for it is now not worthy of marriage?

It is the one that snuffed the life out of it and aborted it that is fit to marry baa?



Its too early in 2014 for nonsense threads like this......I m out

2013......rice and stew
2014.......peanut butter sandwich

Lol.....@op, that was funny!

OMG.......I pray they are found.
DEar Lord...Chei ........heartless human being of a driver......the poor mother

She's right you know.....exfoliation is the bomb
Once you start, you can't stop

I got the answer to my prayers and I thank God everyday for him
We are alive and well by His grace

My darling

I thank God for many blessings on me and my family in past year
I m so grateful

Lovely.....God has really blessed her! Thanks for sharing

What are the prospects for an immigrant getting a job after writing PLAB??


@everyone residing in UK

Cheers.

Luxiana19: why the bending rollers in her hair nau??

Maybe cuz she's just hanging out with family and preparing for an event in the evening
No biggie

Oh wow!!! She's glowing
Marriage is good for her...HBD

It's funny how those who are in favor of abortion have already been born

Woged2005: It is not advisable especially if one is not financially responsible. There are decisions u don't take driven by sentiments and emotions. The ideal model is:

1. -20% of each person's salary - Separate accounts for their personal needs (fuel, minor car repairs, makeups, clothing, restaurants, etc)
2. -30% of each person's salary into joint family account (requires joint signatory but managed by the wife, or a stay-at-home dad) for family expenses such as feeding, bills, family supplies, house maintenance, furniture, emergencies and medicals, etc.
3. -20% of each person's salary into a long term investment account they never touch such as a fixed deposit (cannot be withdrawn)
4. -20% into a college fund, where they pool funds for the kids' education (requires joint signatory)
5. -10% for charity and donations (requires joint decision)

All other accounts require a joint decision and joint signatory except number 1. (if u're stock in the middle of the road, u don't need to have a meeting to get out money to fuel ur car). In the past, some unreasonably parties have taken undue advantage of single joint accounts to frustrate each other. Therefore, it's increasingly becoming unpopular in families.

Good idea
I ll make that 40% fixed deposit/ saving
40% joint account
20% personal account

If a thread had to be opened to debate her age and 'marriageability'......(lol, if that's a word)
Then maybe you should just leave her for a real another man
A man who sees what he wants and goes for it


Love conquers all doesn't mean anything again
I think it should be 'age conquers all' or 'money conquers all' in Naija

2013 was Godsent!!!

Baba God I thank you o

10/10

On a lighter note, just returned from a wedding of a dear colleague of mine
I was awestruck at how the gRoom covered and dignified his bride
She's this...she's that.......people said all sorts
He stood by her , "this is my wife and I m honored to be her husband"
That's just a snippet of his speech today
When the head is covering her nobody can insult or abuse her without passing through him first

Just felt like sharing what I was inspired by today
No particular reason o
Then I understood when people say that love conquers all

Guitarlife: The reason is that it may take up to 4 years before I decide to get married and if she decides to hold on till then she will be 35 years or thereabout around that time.

Let her go for her dignity and peace of mind.
Thank you on her behalf

OP I wish you well, It is well with you

I can say I know exactly how you feel cuz I opened a thread just like this one a year and a bit ago
It's not easy but I m so glad you have all this good advice from lovely people here
You are a decent girl and I m sure you ll be alright

Don't rush into anything just because of pressure from anybody ok
Because when you rush in and you re there alone nobody will care
Don't endanger yourself just to conform
Don't endanger your mental health, physical health or emotional health just to conform

It's only in Nigeria that marriage is do-or-die
I wish the society was not so hard on young girls
As if getting married is all that they re good for

I m sure your husband will locate you
Your prayers are not useless
And God is not deaf

Here's a link to a YouTube video......a lively and interesting perspective on the whole do or die affair that marriage has become in this country called Nigeria. Watch and enjoy.....hope it teaches you that the grass is not always greener as Mrs Somebody. You re not alone. Nothing is wrong with you .Everything will be fine. I m praying with you. X


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EKhNoIfEXY

Very funny!!