₦airaland Forum

Thanks for d mention. Carry go

Horlorlardaey:
mindfmhiz, Missmossy, Joanee, Iyhehelvins, Dandypearl, DropShot, Belvic, Missuniverse, Mczigx, MrBen10, Pgodson7, Emmyk, Summerflame, Kizzykeziah, Frankytof, Officialdokkey, Saxwizard, Teamplayey, Muhamadnur, Saxwizard, Lukman, Royalexcel2, Osaze20091, enduright, Kizzykeziah, Frankytof, Emmyk, Dera25, 9jaMalay, Queenxstar, Hartfriday, Tastemoney, Lexaydfg, SimpleBea, Kongru, Ikigia, Princelegacylehoma, AyamConfidence, Royalkeed, Ashatoda, Vaxt, Stevostical, Kingphilip, Cho25bc Flakkydagirl, Tummyyoung, Nancywealth, kingDELE, repogirl, PrettySpicey, Blessinzy, Nancydearie, ellahzy, Smallville10, saraphina,repogirl, Nancydearie, ritababe, obianuju95, nekanzee, osman1996, nancywealth, aprilwise, missmossy, mubzay, morsadh, nabla, shakyroh320, jblake, supersuave, poik, maoolakanm, oluplus, goodyj, uncjay, idyraph, mojysiola, itsawrappp, mhiz, kinmayor, phintohlar, odunsco01, mynd44, teeghurl, obiwann, mrsheddy, omotayo9177, dave16, jerrythafinisher, priestcharm, jolay554, niwdog, tolababa, morsadh, tori46, Fortunate32, ka52y, hermanie, analysiscorner, veraisbae, Nostradamus, flippycbk, aishat39, SPDAZZY, phintohlar, missmossy, chizzyMaris, morsad, smartestPOPQUEEN...and many more too numerous to mention, you are invited!

i hope i wont get banned again!!!!

Present sir$ carry gO

TONYE001:
Missmossy, Joanee, Iyhehelvins, Dandypearl, DropShot, Belvic, Missuniverse, Mczigx, MrBen10, Pgodson7, Emmyk, Summerflame, Kizzykeziah, Frankytof, Officialdokkey, Saxwizard, Teamplayey, Muhamadnur, Saxwizard, Lukman, Royalexcel2, Osaze20091, enduright, Kizzykeziah, Frankytof, Emmyk, Dera25, 9jaMalay, Queenxstar, Hartfriday, Tastemoney, Lexaydfg, SimpleBea, Kongru, Ikigia, Princelegacylehoma, AyamConfidence, Royalkeed, Ashatoda, Vaxt, Stevostical, Kingphilip, Cho25bc...and many more too numerous to mention, you are invited!

dimssy:
mi im a brother oooo

I'm sorry about dat bro

Sorry 2 disappoint u sister

dimssy:
I taught the post by cho25bc was another update...that was long but thoughtful though.
Oga ironkurtain,how far update.

*Ghost mode deactivated*

Well! Well! Well! What else can I say? AWESOME!

I'm disappointed dat d story is yet to be completed.I came across dis piece 3 weeks ago,went 2 part one,demolished it and ran back here 2 part 2. I must confess dat I'm hyper-impressed with dis story.

I commend ur dialogue prowess, (d use of right words at d right time), d way u weave each characters together,d twists and turns, and d suspense is amazing. Ur style of minute by minute detail of every scenes,settings and locations is exceptional.I see d evidence of thriller movie addict in u through ur dexterity. I also love d surprises,d means through which d shocking revelations are being unfolded. D whole plot is mind-blowing. I can see dat u did a thorough research on firearms,US lifestyle,drug lords mode of operations,and high tech innovations.

I will comment on d key actors in dis movie (pls permit me to call dis piece a movie becos dat's d perspective I have abt it), den say something regarding d whole plot.

I'll start with Suzzane. I love her combination of beauty,brain, young age and bravery. I also love her attitude towards sex n men (although u didn't tell us whether she's still a virgin or not,lol). She come across like some1 who is focused,self-disciplined and possesses high self-control. However, I'm not comfortable with her new found love for blood,violence and murder. Althugh we can say dat she's justified in a way becos she only kills d bad guys, but when she's done killing all d bad guys,she might get bored and start killing d gud guys as well. I prefer her former timid personality to dis her present brutal nature. I don't know why I keep having d feeling dat she may be related by blood 2 d Sosai lineage, due 2 d way she was quick 2 pick up violence from Eric, unlike her other siblings, daniel and Victoria. Op, u are yet 2 tell us about her paternity. One more thing, u didn't tell us much abt her educational background, other than she was in junior high school when Eric came into d Philips home.

Eric- Inspite of d violent genes running in his veins, he has a heart. He's very compassionate and loves his people,always willing to keep dem alive at all costs. I also love his self-control charcteristics, just like Suzzane, he doesn't spend his time screwing hoes around. No wonder he's more powerful than Alex, becos he usually expends his energy on mental n physical trainings other than pussy banging,something that his counterparts always do. Dat is why only Lisa was romantically connected 2 him throughout dis story. No wonder she's helplessly in love with him. I wouldn't mind dating such a guy myself (winks). No need 4 bodyguards or fear of harrassment from psychopaths. However, his rude n arrogant behaviour often puts me off. Also d way he kills his enemies is too extreme.he's a fanatic butcher. Abeg Op,make him go easy on diz guys sometimes too na,haba! (A bullet or 2 d brain is enough).

Nina- my second best female actress in dis film (Diana is my 1st in d female category.I just love her maturity). She's brave and strong willed. She's a MAN trapped in a WOMAN's body becos no REAL woman will possess dat kind of character n strength. But she's arrogant n domineering, always bossing everyone around. She's also selfish. A keen observer of dis film will agree with me dat all she ever did in d whole plot centered around her own interests alone, even at d expense of other people's lives.I won't cite instances becos dere were many. How can she say dat she'd rather lose her father than her son? D old brute also deserves 2 live na.

Alex- I like his idea of resolving issues thru negotiation before introducing violence. Alex is also respectful, unlike his rude brother. But his unquenchable thirst for women is repulsive,maybe he's trying 2 compensate himself 4 all those times he was a feeble boy. But something is not clear to me Op. How did he escape his attempted suicide on d rooftop of his High school? U shielded dat part. All u said was dat Nina was dere 2 take him away frm d place n later replaced him with Eric 2 weeks after his disappearance. Pls clarify dat aspect very well 4 me.

Esther is a true definition of a mother and a wife material, bt she too dey pass her boundary sometimes. An instance was whr she wanted 2 beat up Nina when she saw how d latter inflicted injuries on Eric. What was she thinking?lol.

Chris is a genius. Rogers was a loyal friend.

My best characters so far are Cantona (Sosai himself). Dante (I just love dis guy,forget dat he's a bad guy). He's articulate and smart.Too bad he died easily. Earnest is my hero,always putting every1 first before himself. Lisa is also a good girl but vulnerable. These are d few personae dat interest me most.

I have reservations on d way Eric conquered Dante. It's too superficial and unrealistic. How can such a strong professional assasin sudenly turn 2 a puppy in d presence of Eric,all becos d latter's energy was boosted due 2 d threat 2 his mother's life? What kind of adreline can make things so easy 4 him while dealing with some1 his mother referred 2 as 'Eric's nemesis', considering d way you vividly described d latter as a ruthless murderer,a professional hitman who was even feared by Eric's superiors in battlefield. He was referred 2 as d best of d bests. Dis is a guy who blew up a hospital at age 8 when Eric was freshly born. D fact dat Eric was a born killer does not make him insurmountable by any opponent. In d thriller movies dat I usually watch, both d protagonist n d villain will be equal match to d end. They will have equal advantage in d physical combat, inflict d same degree of injuries on each other. Occasionally, Dante shud have d upper hand in d battle, even totally subdueing Eric at one point. Den when he must av thot dat he has won d fight (maybe Eric will pretend dat he's dead), he'll relax and perhaps turn his back on his supposed dead opponent, when all of a sudden Eric will leap 2 his feet and dive powerfully at him, catching him off-guard. Dis can lead 2 him being pushed and thrown out of d window,killing him finally. Pls if u are going 2 publish dis story, review dat part and also other similar parts. His hardened nature shouldn't make him immune 2 defeats as u painted him. He's also human,not an alien.

Dere some loopholes in d write-up,many unanswered questions, nevertheless, dis indeed is outstanding.

Pls be mindful of ur grammatical errors. Some Instances are 'informations/infos' instead of 'information/info'. Information does not av a plural. Another instance is 'lifes' instead of 'lives', 'and' instead of 'an' (most times I'm always left confused abt what u were trying 2 say). Also stick 2 one tense, preferrably past tense,instead of mixing dem 2gether.

Nobody is perfect. I'm not an expert in English language myself. We all just dey try.

All in all, I'll score u 95/100.

I'll state dis clearly. Dis piece of work is worth millions both in local and foreign currencies. Don't just write 4 NL literature section or other blogs alone 4 free,research on motion-pictures, especially in America who can buy dis story and turn it into a movie. Don't allow ur talent 2 waste. Pls don't ignore dis advice. And dis also goes out 2 all story-writers on dis forum. Make money wit ur talents. Try 2 publish ur stories, den adapt dem into scripts 4 filmmakers 2 purchase dem. Chimanda Adichie's epic novel, half of a yellow sun was turned 2 an afro-hollywood blockbuster. Lord of the rings, Star wars, Harry Potter and d likes were also written by people like u and me. We all know d outcome of diz movies 2day.Showcase ur talents 2 d world while u smile 2 d bank.

I admire ur sense of responsibility and devotion 2 ur family, always dere 2 help with d baby's care. Ur wife is a lucky woman,I envy am o. I pray 2 have ur type of man when I'm ready 2 get married(lol). Keep it up. May God continually bless ur home,but I want 2 ask,are u base in Nigeria or China?

I've never written such a long review on any story on dis section before,dat is 2 tell u hw captivating ur work is (abeg,no let ur head swell o, lol). I wrote dis comment early yesterday morning bt mistaken pressed d 'back button' while tryinng to edit it, hence all d texts were erased.I had 2 start all over again. Dat is how desperate I am 2 lend my voice 2 ur laudable work.

Finally, come finish dis story sharperly jare make man pikin rest from suspense. God bless u

How come ur mention didn't reflect on my wall? I just saw dis story on ur profile becos I already bookmarked The carpenter,the witch and Mirror on my fone.
Thanks for d mention n nice work u are doing so far.

ozila:
sirfolabi chizzyblinks smartec pode Nostradamus despirado121 pricelesslove joanee20 boladex1 emmyk heniford Tummyyoung Cherrybrown ritababe Johnsown mzdorkisz cho25bc spill enambobo Kherry thenathan mizhanny osaze20091 jasonalcaraz JoJolizo gofwayne austinstevens rosy4u damilare96 odafe96 jukamzy vislabraye annapecky

Olajhidey22:
Thanks! And am glad this truly interest you.

Actually we are done with the story.

Thanks once again

Nice story line and it served as a big lesson 2 every youths dat Jesus is d only way. More grease 2 d elbows of ur writers.
Pls I want 2 ask,I don't understand what happened btwm Denise n jon @ d picnic. Did Denise gave in 2 Jon's sexual demands or she declined?has she ever had sex with Jon before or not?dat part is not clear 2 me.Pls explain

Olajhidey22:
Comments Pleasee!!!

Nice job Op. Pls don't give up,just continue d story till d end.
In my opinion,I think d reason why pple are not showing much interest in dis write-up is becos they believe dat d story is meant 4 teenagers n d setting is foreign,hence they find it hard 2 relate 2 d plot,compared 2 d other stories u av posted here in d past such as devil's proposal,a friend in need and one oda story abt a virgin lady who was raped on d eve of her wedding night by d man who eventually became her husband(I may be wrong).
But personally,I'm enjoying d story especially d decency in it.More grease 2 ur elbow.

Episode 10
"Its been 3weeks since *Tunde* started the tutorials with her and he was really catching up. Funmi was the best teacher he would ever have as she made difficult work look simple, when ever she felt he was working too hard, she had the best words to encourage him as it makes him more determined.

It wasn't like he was a dull student but lack of concentration and practice was his problem. But he was surely getting it from the lessons although he doesn't do much listening in class because he was sure of a better class later in the evening, on several occasions he had offered to pay her but she had refused, while making it clear that she was only trying to help him.
since she began to tutor him, he had developed a kind of respect and care for her which was gradually becoming love and attraction.


Since he began the tutorial he has never taken his car to her place because he thinks someone who knows him might get to know his been coming there, even his close guys Emeka and Daniel had no idea of it, although they suspected he has been reading alot because he now speaks and start up discussion on many of the topics, but on that particular day he took his car to the mechanic for some repairs and was running late for the lesson with Funmi, so immediately after the repairs he drove down to her place.

Rachel was one of *Tundes* secrete.

boyo123:
@cho25bc

wow thanks for taking your time to add a comment am honored

no they are not siblings but relatives,just watch out for how it happened

i dont really like writing story that one wunt learn from u can check out my previous stories like ONE NIGHT STAND and BIG BOLD WOMAN , so when people dont get the msg am trying to pass its usually frustrating,but am happy you and many others here got it .

about my typos,i am working on it,thanks soo much just bear with me pls

can you pls point the episode where i used tunde instead ,because i av bin looking for it .thanks i probably typed that while talking to a friend that answers tunde

God bless you

Is funmilayo a vampire?hw come she looks so young 2 passed 4 a student n his gf?den definitely they are siblings,same parents. hmmm,dis is a lesson 2 all young ladies out dere who dash out dier punas 2 any guy they fall in love with without thinking twice. Love and sex are 2 different things entirely,although love can breed sexual passions bt our desires shud be put under check. I still don't get why many virgin ladies beg guys 2 deflower dem by force by fire.what's d morale behind dat? Is virginity a disease?
@op, good job. I don't usually comment on stories I read on literature section bt I just feel d spirit 2 do so on urs. Work on d typos,pls,especially 'taught' and 'thought'.
Den in one of d episodes,u started by changing Dayo's name 2 Tunde in d 1st few paragraphs.I was confused 4 some minutes.Pls edit dat part.
Den I saw dat u once complained abt low readership base.hmmm,my friend,u shud count urself lucky. When I wrote my story,stain from the past,only few set of people commented on my piece thruout d period of updates.I can never forget Missmossy who invited more pple 2 my page.Right now I av over 10k views bt barely 20+ pple commented.Yet I didn't give up,even though I almost did. And now,u are even on fp. Pls continue ur work n don't be oliver twist jare.
Keep it up. I may not comment again till d end of d story but just know dt I'm definitely following. Pls update on time n ensure u complete it.

Olajhidey22:
Is anyone following atall? #Sad

I'm following wit all loyalty