₦airaland Forum

freecocoa:
Kai! But you take style dull o.

lol

Sirmuel1:
This sentence wan tear my belle "I heard he placed a curse on the caller.."


The story funny sha, I just dey shine teeth


You're such a good writer.

Kudos!!!!

thanks boss

BackOff:
Nice write up ClassCaptain.

I giggled once or twice. I admire your writing skills and your sense of humor.


PS: Thank God sey na joke o because pastor and that your neighbor curses alone don reach to even make u commit suicide.

thank you so much sir,,,,there are other interesting stories on my profile sir,, you can check on them

God bless you

U said she d your boss.

Act as if u just heard about the act she had with your boss after the proposal, confront her and then tell her .. We never even marry u don dey cheat...
.
Proposal cancelled be dat boss

Okaakoko:
I have learnt some pranks here for next year. classcaptain you are too good

oga okaakoko, if i hammer,na u i go first find come,.thanks boss.

SamsonJohn743:
Ehm OP how she take get ur a/c number:-D;-)

yes sir..

Episode 3 sir

I was really catching my Fun looking for my next prey untill i came across a girl's name on my contact . .. We were quite close back then in the hood.

She had been disturbing me about her birthday coming up on april 8th before we had a little ish.

Ewatomi26:
Lovely writeup. I enjoyed your use of language. Perfect

I don laff scatter.

thanks so much..

Sheck out this one here too

https://www.nairaland.com/2966989/how-jamb-jammed-me-out

i promise you . You will laugh well well. Thanks

oglalasioux:
Please make a short comedy film out of this. It should be a narrative movie starting from your neighbour's husband. If you permit me I'll make a good screenplay out of it. Keep up the good work. Love it.

am more than grateful sir,, i have other works on my profile sir,,

can i send u a pm so we can talk better ?

I remembered vividly during jss3 extension at Opo malu..

I was very gentle like a dove and i never talk to girls.. I was a pastor and a brother in the lord.I was so innocent, if u put water in my mouth and went out, by the time u come back. U will meet it there.

One of our classmates organized a party at his guardian house who travelled and i relunctantly went. And then, this particular fine girl called fatima was rocking me and rocking me .. Oh my God.

This girl had the biggest ass in class with a widely known doft firm boobs according to reports...

I just sat down as she was rotating on me ,confused whether to tell her to stop or just enjoy it a little bit more.

at a point , she dragged me not by my own will into the host bedroom. And then rough play began

She first slapped me hard on my face..

I will slap you back oh.. I said , enjoying the play and then gave her a loud slap..

Next she slapped my chest..

If u know u are .... Slap my chest back.......

So i stylishly touch the chest and quickly comot hand..

Haha, lazy boy, is that how i slapped your own chest..

Next she took my wristband and i started chasing her around the room for my wristband, she was using her yansh targeted at my war zone to rub but i kept quiet likewise as she dey use boobs chook me anyhow.

Next one wey she slap my bumbum, wey i smack her back, na him she moan

" huuuuuuu
.

Omo, i lost control, only for me to plant a kiss on her lips and she responded well.

I asked the almighty God for forgiveness of my sin am about to commit as i brought out my trowel to transplant seeds of joy into her, she just pushed me and started giggling..

And not only her, about 6 girls and 4 of my friends were at the window side laughing and giggling seriously while i stood there utterly embarrased with my dangling metal..

Apparently they made a bet and set a trap for me in order to test me faith..

Episode Finale

i tried calling the number. Switched off.

I tried calling her too.

The number you are trying to call is no available. You are now being transferred to voice mail.

For like 30 times.... It seems she had actually barred my number.

Meanwhile , mynd is disturbing me with calls and text..

Is it the prank i played on my pastor that brought me this misfortune ? Or the one i played on my neighbours husband last year when i told him that the chief vigilante of our street was feeding his wife nutrients ...

The poor husband was racing home with his motorcycle to catch his supposed cheating red handed and had a fatal accident on the way.... He is still nursing that injury till date on his left leg...

Till date, he never knew who made that call.. I was planning to tell him it was april fool when he came back but person wey him leg break, how i wan take talk say na joke i follow am joke.

I heard he placed a curse on the caller..

And now here i am.. This is ishi i am calling that is blocked, i have no idea of her new address, relatives or even her social media handles and this is Mynd , disturbing me with calls and msgs to transfer back his money to him or he order his tools on me..

And no one needs to be told how mynd does his own things.


Right now, am beside a bridge, i dont know whether i should jump inside or not because if i jump, it may lead to death and death will make me free from this depression...

*hmmmmnn*

shey make i vex jump ni ??

I was such a fool.

THE END

Episode Ten

i know sabi when i change everything to pidgin....

Ishilove, abeg abeg, please i take God beg u, even if na 10k help me send am back abeg.. *weeps*

abeg... Please.. I accept that am a fool... That you are not on my level. You are far better than me.

Chimo , please just send the money back ..

... I was already vibrating where i sat as mynd don dey disturb me with 16 missed calls already..

.so boo, are you saying you want your money back.... She finally replied after almost 30 mins.

..haa, ishi... Please ..haa.. Ok take 2k out of he money.. Send me all the money wey i add on top.. I take God beg you abeg... Please, i accept defeat oo

Not long after , i saw a message enter my phone with a different number..

The sum of 20 thousand has been transferred to your account from ishilove anyamuro...

Haa. To God be the Glory.. Haa, so people like this still exists on earth.. She after all decided to send the money back.... I cant thank her enough for this. God does work miracles.

I was strolling down to read the next lines when i saw

"April fool sir " with a smile smiley.

. Exactly the way i sent my pastor


Haha..

.
Funny You,boo you thought i will actually send back the money..you stingy lowlife ... You must be an idiot. Dont try calling me or try contacting me ever again in your life.. Your money should buy me a few ice creams and cover for some food on my birthday..

Thanks mugu

.. And if after all, you still want the money....


YOU CAN COME AND COLLECT IT..

Episode 9


I was expecting to see an alert in the next 10 mins .



30 mins pass, ??

one hour,??

two hours..;(;(;/ ;\

Haa.. Which kind thing be this.. Why i never see alert...

I was already sweating profusely under the fan...

Hey...hey ... Have you seen the money... .. I summoned up courage to ask her..

Yes...

Ehn.. The cash entered now..

"You . I thought u were daring me.. Oya send the 37k back ,if i no go send 60k give you back "...

I had to say this so that this would encourage her to at least send the money back..

"oh, you are so sweet. This money will do just fine dear. Now thats what am talking about.. I cant thank you enuff for this gift

i was shocked and i could feel small small urine dripping down my trousers..

Haa,but are u sure that will be enough ? Send it back please ,lemme add more for you.

..wow, thanks boo. But why do i have to send it back, if you want to send more, i will gladly accept. That is why i like you.

Haha.. This thing don dey real small small oo..

But are you playing the superioty game again ?
Boo, what game are you talking about ?

That you were sending more money than i sent.. Just now na

haha, dear i dont know what you are talking about oo.

Episode 8

I was shocked to the bone marrow few minutes later when i got the alert of 12 thousand naira on my phone ..

Hahaaa.. Is this girl mad.. . I was so angry and furious ..

I added 5k and sent 17k back and withnin mins, she added 7k and sent 24k back..

I dont want anything to do with you retarded mofo. Keep your money please is it by force..


Na dat time my head con dey boot small small . I now realised that i may have entered jackpot ooo ;:p..

Any amount i sent ,this girl would add more and send it back to me
.
.. Haha, i don get plan. Wetin i go do be say once i sent this last one, i will just stop if she sends another, blacklist her number, block her on social media and continue enjoying the money..


hahaha.. I checked the money in my account.. It was left with 3k.
.

I quickly rushed to one of my friend, mynd44 house and told him to transfer 10k to me.

Wetin u wan use 10k do...
Guy just send am if u get abeg..
Wetin u wan use am do..
Okay, i go add 3k if i dey return am .. Abeg naw.
Guy, na part of my school fees be this oo
no worry, i swear i go return am naw ..

and that was how i was able to convince the guy to lend me 10k. With the 10k from mynd and 3k in my account added to the 24k she sent totalling the money to 37 thousand naira..

Ehn ehn.. Make i con send am naw , that her yeye ego ehn... Make she add 10k , send 47k back...

This silly superioty Game don finish be that.. I go swallow my ego and thank her for the gift.
but this girl mumu oo.

And that was how i sent the 37k with the hope that she continues in her plan to remain superior and send like 57k back.

Episode 7

Initially,i felt i should keep the money and flex with it but i just pity her..

Besides what if she finds out i didnt even send any four thousand at first.. She even get right add 2k sey she dash me..

What does she take me for ..so she will now by telling her friends that i sent her 4k and she returned it and even added 2k on top.


Mbanu. My ego wont allow me. I must prove am the man here.

Hey , i dont know where you saw the 4k but it was not from me.. My own was just a prank.. Do u remember today is april fool ?

Pls i didnt send you any money oo, its just a joke.

So i replied her and with joy and pride, i added 2500 to the 6k to show am the boss and sent her eight thousand five hundred back..

She would know am the boss now..

Keep the change " . I Added in my text.

Episode 6

Boo,boo .. Seriously ? I mean duh !! Is this all you have to offer , i dont need your money.. Fk u and your money..

I knew you are nothing but alowlife idiot.. U sent me only 4k.. Whats that for ?? Perf or what..

Please take your money back slowpoke.. And i added 2k more to manage yourself and enjoy ..go and look for your rank.

This was how this girl replied me ooo..


Withnin mins, i received 6 thousand naira alert on my phone.

Haha, i did not send any money naa. Abeg another person send money to am wey she no know...

Dbrainiac1:
How csn male artistes be vixens? Who was you English teacher?

read the heading.... They *turn themdelves * into video vixens .. Meaning that are behaving as if they are vixens not that they are girls..

Five boys that have tirned themselves into girls.. It doesnt mean they are actually girls but that they behave like girls.

Thanks boss

He don dey cry down for wetin go happen to him wife tonight

Episode Five

This time around., i decided i was going to play a prank on her though i had already punished her for the expensive joke she pulled years back by kpanshing her well.

I , this is Boo osin, how av you been,,, Happy birthday in advance .i have transferred the sum of 4000 naira to you as birthday gift. Though i know it is small but pls manage it..

And i sent it.

Withnin mins , she replied

"as the stars appear in the sky and the cows will continue to eat grass, so shall my love continue with you. As nobody kills a cockcroach with a gun or an elephant with an insecticide, nothing shall kill our love.. Thanks dear. I will call you now.

Shuu , all these sweet talk for something we no day.. We no even day date oo. Eleribu omo . 4k just like that, in this kind of economy ...

To say i was shocked is an understatement when i saw her next reply

EPisode Four


I remembered the last two years on march 31st during an heavy rain..

This girl texted me that she was feeling one kind... Haha .. One kind ke

Yes, dont do like you dont know what am saying or should i call another person ?

I quickly borrowed 100 naira from mamagee3 neighbour , trekked almost 30 mins to the main road with all my clothes dripping wet after which i then took a bike to her house.

All des while ,the thought of knacking her kept my body and soul together.

Only for me to get there to find her gate locked. I called only for her to tell me happily .." April fool "

chai.. I had already taken viagra and alomo already.. If not mama atoyebi.The 70 year old widow and provision seller near her house who provided me with accomodation and other services in her one room apartment that night, it would have been another story.

only God can forgive my sins.. Only God.. *weeps*

Episode 3

Omo... I pranked a lot of people oo.

From wristbangle to tosyne2much that i told tb joshua said nobody should wear red and my friend lalasticlala who was almost shedding hot salty tears on the phone when i told him that his picture has been leaked on nairaland.

I was really catching my Fun looking for my next prey untill i came across a girl's name on my contact . .. We were quite close back then in the hood.

She had been disturbing me about her birthday coming up on april 8th before we had a little ish.

How can i forget the prank she played me last two years... Chai.... That was my first and last time anybody played that prank on me..

How can i forget ?

I will only put the tip

Episode 2

I dialled his number.. Like 3 times. He no gree pick.. I tried it again twice. He didnt pick..

Haha maybe because na private number.. Abi pastor dey fear make he pick call may blood dey comot for mouth

I then used my second sim to text him that i have remmited the sum of 20,000 naira to his account for thanksgiving for a Miracle God did for me and another 20k for painting the church "s fence.

Less than 2 mins , the pastor called my 2nd sim and started raining prayers on me ..

The God that knows you and your deeds in secret will reward you.you will expand.. You will this, you will dat

baba no even check whether alert has entered or where i got the money from.. If i be armed robber or not, he no ask... Money is money

He asked of my identity but i simply replied..

Keep me anonymous.. And then ended the call.

I waited for like twenty minutes when the pastor would be wondering why the alert has not entered and then sent him the April fool text.
.

April Fool Sir.. Have a blessed day.. I replied back. I added the sir so the insult wouldnt be too grave.


I could imagine how painful it will be for the Man of God to check his phone expecting an alert of a loyal church member thanksgiving only to meet such a discouraging msg.

Am sure he must have opened the gates of hell and cursed me with the holy tongue and verily verily i say into you , his curse did work on me..

Inspired by a True LIFE STORY

APRIL 1ST

I made sure my phone was loaded with 500 naira recharge card.. I was very happy and agile, super ready to prank some folks.

Despite what i caused with the prank i played on my neighbour's husband last year , i was determined to have fun this year no matter what.

I had no friends i could call because all of us don prank each other tire. Na those kind people you go call and them go answer u like " you think say we no sabi say today na april fool " oloobe :

As the saying goes, in everything you do, Put God first .. I decided to start with God.. I changed my number to private and Dialled my pastor 's number, Pastor Tonye. :-

lilmax:
K means delete me

hahaha

ianSweet:
O my gosshhh! This thread is smookkiinnggg hottttt!

Many Black men are really naturally handsome and hot especially those American and Carribean dudes
Most Nigerian and African guys lack self maintenance thats why their American/carribean counterparts look far hotter than them.

iamsweet,you are sweet, can i pls give u my sweet to sweeten up iamsweet sweetness.,

Evryone is entitled to their opinion..
But i totally disagree with this

dominique:
If I ever get to meet a music producer, first thing I'd ask is what do all those buttons do? They're so darn many

spent 5 months learning them and he no gree enter head

Lmao

Haa. Radazakaka abi what is your name

olohun o je o dafun oo

oga seun,, like tosyne2much, my food stuff don finish.. Na salt and water i drink sleep yesterday even though i no get diarohhea.

Please.. Abeg ..