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prettythicksme:
Classcaptain keep riding,u smart!!

ose eyan dj khalid

THE BEGINNING OF THE END


Episode Seven

February 14th, D DAY



I couldnt wait for tomorrow to come as na so so thoughts dey come my mind. . i couldnt sleep..EARLY the next morning before i brushed ,i quickly went to the ATM to withdraw some cash for today ‘s outing and expenses.. i was afraid a lot of people might want to withdraw and thus the closest atm to my house might not dispense if i go there late.

I withdrew the last 7000 naira in my account and went back home.i had done most of the cleaning the day before so there was not much to do concerning the outlook of the room.i went outside to check my red suit which i washed yesterday around 11pm after the babe called.. Thank God ,it was dry...

I took it along side my white shirt and trousers to the laundry man and told him to iron with better cassava as it is for an important thing ..Haven done every other necessary thing , i sent her a message around 10am about the date we fixed for 11 and she replied in affirmative.

Still Obinoscopy hotel abi ?
Yes ..abi you have somewhere better in my mind? she replied
Nooo .. i just wanted to confirm ..

Choi, he be like say he dey this girl body gan.. she specifically requested we used an hotel restaurant. After the date ,, na to go my house oo, i no get money for any yeye hotel room. hehehe

... i went back to the laundry man shop to collect my clothes ,only to discover that he has locked the shop and was nowhere to be found...

Hahah...where did he go ..i tried to inquire from his neighbours but they could not provide a valid answer.

I picked my phone and dialled his number ..

Haha oga where my cloth naa..
Oga abeg no vex no vex abeg ... .. something popped up in my house ni o ..

How does that disturb my own cloth ? ehn ..
Oga please i go soon come naw...abeg i take God beg you

Haha.. wetin be this na GOD, shey na ankara dis man wan make i wear go to the date ....

Episode SIX

The number did not belong to prettythicksme so i was sure it wasnt her.. who could be sending me call me its important this night ??.I no own anybody money..


... Out of curiosity, i quickly borrowed airtime from empty hen and called the number.

Lo and behold, it was one of these undergraduate babes i have been chasing .. initially she was among my first eleven that i wanted to call and ask out for the day but i thought she would be engaged that day or might not accept my offer. Well, it seems my guess was wrong .

She introduced herself and almost immediately started lamenting how i had forgotten about her , didnt call her , didnt ask of her wherebouts , didnt ask of her father , her mother , her family , bla bla bla and i had to start apologizing for what i did and i did not do..

Ok oooo.. she then asked me if i had anywhere i will be going tomorrow and i said no..
: hmmn, we kuku sabi say na your girl wey u wan carry go tomorrow dey your mind naw..
Haha.am not going out with anybody ooo..
Why are u lying eh ?? We that we kuku dont have anybody taking us out have accepted our fate..

OMO !!!!!! As a sharp guy ,i sharply decode and one thing led to another , she said she was “ considering “ giving me a chance if am ready to show my care and love .. AND before we look left , look right , we fixed a date for tomorrow..


.Unbelievable. few moments ago , i was just lamenting about my baeless valentine celebration only for an unxpected babe to show up ?/ indeed, God is wonderful, God is wonderful. He is the miracle working GOD.

i went to bed feeling fulfilled and thinking about plans for tomorrow. I cant wait to shame my guys by showing up to their hood later with the bae and more importantly, taking her home to “chill further “2mao.. Wristbangle is on his own tomorrow be that oo..


Omo see free *********..no church service.. which service one pass this one wey God give me so ?? . God punish devil.. wetin i wan go find for church ?? Na with this babe me go do my church service oo.

omolola15:
classcaptain thank you for not inviting me ooo. We are officially fighting.

no be so boss

Episode Five

I had some potential babes on my list i could actually take out for the day... i would just need to chyke them and at least i should be able to see one free one that would love to hang out tomorrow. So Help me GOD.
.. i checked and checked and tried to narrow it down to the beautiful ones i can be seen with anytime, any day.. they were up to like 7.. next,i narrowed it down to the single ones or those i think should be single, thus dropping the number to 5..
By the time i reasoned those that were mostly to accept my request for a val date without giving me much trouble or draining my pocket.. , ......the number dropped to three.

Prettythicksme.. michella and nikkylawve.
..
As there was no time to waste , i set out to business. I should be able to see one that would love to go with me ...even though we are not dating but still yet at least for me to experience this vall ish.. Even if its just this once.. To shame my critics dem.

I called prettythicksme almost up to 15 times but she refused to pick.. at a time it said switched off.. it was then i remembered she was using a java phone with some call problems and a battery that is always low.

Next i dialed michella number.. she picked once and we did the usual greeting greeting, long time , how are you, have you eaten ..bullshit. I used almost 3 mins to greet her as my heart was beating very fast and i was very nervous.

At last i took the courage and maneuvered my way to the question....Her reply shocked me.she just laughed and laughed before she cut me off the line.. The reason for her laughter i don't know.... what i said was not even funny.just a simple question

Discouraged by the earlier two results, i didn't even bother to call the third lady...i just dropped my phone and did a general cleaning of my room as wristbangle is expected to come tomorrow with his babe.

8 36pm GEREGE ON FEB 13th

I suddenly saw a notification on my phone.. as i was not using a whats app enabled phone, i knew it had to be a message .. it must be those mtn people with their text 5676 to 41985 for valentine news or text val to 3524 to enjoy romantic texts .Reluctantly, i went to check the message and got the surprise of my life.

It was a message from a number that was not too familiar.
it read “ call me very important”..

Episode 4

Later in the evening , i decided to take a stroll to my guy,tosyne2much face me i face you house . i knew he was also baeless and would surely be home,probably typing another list ..

. At least , we two baeless guys could find something interesting to discuss aside this val, val ish.....We could start from how we will photobomb a celebrity photoshoot or open up a business on verifying fake and original bags for people.. i go fit use that one cool off my sadness a bit.

On getting there , i met four of my other guys chilling there.. ..drizslim, eleniyan15, iheanyi50 and Richie0974.

Eh eh eh ..pastor boo boo.
Haha pastor boo ...boo the boo. long time no see.

. We greeted and they offered me a seat as tosyne focused on taking another spoonful of garri from his cup .

Con join me.. tosyne invited halfheartedly ,praying i say no.
he get milk ?
no
he get sugar ?
no
he get groundnut ?
no .. he replied again.

..Tor. i no want .. Wait first , why all of una gather dey here ,, wetin dey happen.. Wetin all of una carry paper dey do , i said on sighting my friend ,drizslim with a piece of paper and a biro..

( Everybody bursts into laughter)

Seriously now guys ,,abeg wetin dey sele.
Guy,, tomorrow na val na ... u dey dull am ..
Wetin una wan come dey do with paper.. ?/ i asked again ,trying to see the correlation.
Na things wey we go buy for our chicks oo we dey reason oo.We dey try reason how we go plan am wey the thing go plum .... Eleniyan15 said happily

Boo, abi u go advise me wetin to buy my bae ..Haa sorry i don forget .. u no even get bae at all ....

( general laughter )

Tosyn , you sef dey follow dem laugh as if say u get any babe for tomorrow.. i said in an attempt to find someone to share the insults with me..
..
haha.. see you.. me i don upgrade oo.. i go dey post 10 dis.ten dat list all these years, i no go see one babe wey go trip wey i go see catch
.
na lie ..you dey lie ni
..
see you.. so all dose list i dey write na 4 play?? .. the suit for my dp, you think say na play.. why u think say i change the background with photoshop ??




Not until he showed me the babe 's nairaland moniker,their pictures together and their chat before i knew , verily.verily. he will not be celebrating this year"s val baeless...


I left that place really ashamed and embarrassed .. the jest making and insults was too much as all of the dem just dey yab me left, right center .The thing really pained me ( in falz voice ) but i kept my cool in order to avoid any fracas. Throughout my stay there, my predicament was the topic of discussion.

I got home feeling really bitter ,, i almost wept but as a man , i had to manage my emotions and weep internally inside my own stomach as i sat down ruminating on my life....no wonder suicide rates dey increase. how person dey take commit suicide no dey pass this one ? A whole me..? Na me dem con turn me into a subject of ridicule ? ... Even tosyne don get babe to celebrate with for this val ??


I was still in this bad mood using one bottle of origin to cool off when suddenly an idea came into my mind .

misspicy:
my guy


am following


btw I don code o

coded tunes ni

misspicy:
classcaptain

spicylee..

Episode 3


Around 3 30pm that same day ,wristbangle came to see me.. i already knew wetin he find come ... he came to ask if my room will be free for tomorrow ..

Oga boo..
Haha ..how far naw ..
I dey oo ..i dey ..

This was how he has been coming for the past valentines for 2 solid years. White oh , black oo,,, every val day , he will surely pop up with one girl.. With my well furnished room and all amenities included therein especially my fat and super large extemely soft bed ,, he knew every deed done in my room will surely be unforgettable. By now , he was like a younger brother to me and occasionally , i assist him financially and give him food stuffs . i was like his big ‘ broff ‘ ..Something like a school daddy.

.. He thanked me and asked about my own plans for the day and he got the usual answer..

NOTHING

But bros i dey always tell you ,,i get all dese babes for hand wey i fit give you naw...which one u go need ?
Ehn no worry..
Haha bros body no be firewood naww...ehn..why u..
Haha i say dont worry se .. ehn dont worry ehn,,u just dey enjoy yourself go..jare o ri e..

I then quickly rushed in to ease myself in the toilet while leaving my phone behind as he checked some videos and all .... i came back and we discussed few other things.

Ok bro .... na tomorrow evening be that ..
Ok guy.. no be p ... no be p..sha no forget use protection..
Haa always boss ,always ..he said smiling as he left.



Truely, Wristbangle fit supply me girls but no,, i no go ever gree collect dose girls.. these so call girls he rolls with were mostly low class girls who were nowhere my level and status... most were young and underage,.. they hardly knew left from right,, i cant imagine bringing myself so low to descend upon those' miscrings' . Never ..not now not ever.

Episode TWO

All these things got me yearning seriously for a babe .. and more importantly one to celebrate valentine with this year.. i cant imagine never celebrating val with anyone untill i married.. me and me wife go con dey house dey give each others flowers dem and all that..

.. iro oh .. i must taste it before marriage..

I sat down at home thinking about my life... no babe.. nothing nothing at this age ?? choi... shey i no need to go wash my head for olumba olumba so.

I spent the next 2 hours playing pes 2016 and getting defeated each time .. i kukuma had no lectures and no place to go ,, so una no fit really blame me. tomorrow na membership revival for church and special val programme , make i dey prepare for church small small jare.

EPISODE ONE

Feb 13th ..

..
. I woke up, prayed the usual 2 minutes” thank you Lord prayer “ and i manage chop the remaining yam porridge wey i cook yesterday inside pot.. .. Afterwards, i brush ma teeth well before i con baff. With nothing left to do , i sat down on my own bed with my tecno m3 phone and then i logged in online. As expected na val this ,val that full everywhere...
.
So tomorrow is VAL ?? No wonder my neighbour, Bro Tayo did the unusual as he did not wake us up with his osupa returns, small doctor and dre san ,omo anaabi cd collection as he normally does everyday but bombarded us with classic love songs.hmmn.. val is tomorrow and i had no idea ??

I felt really sad.... at 25 years of age , i have never at any point celebrated this thing called valentine with any babe. Right from secondary school,enter university till now wey i dey do my masters...not even once..

No be really my fault... i have only dated two girls in this short time wey i don spend on earth.One for secondary school and one for university..both of them were practically not into the whole valentine ,,valentine thing back then. As a sharp guy , na kuku to my own advantage ... i no go dey buy any yeye val gifts or find money for any outing for any girlfriend.. it was all perfect and ok for me.

Not untill recently when i was left with no babe before i started realising the essence of the valentine fever.. I was immensely tortured by the lovey dovey atmosphere i witnessed when my one of my hostel mate, okaakoko who was just in 200 level, and his babe celebrated their valentine last year.. person go think say na marriage anniversary dem do..

From eatery to swimming pool to cinema back to eatery and the final finalisation for bedroom wey dem no allow person hear word , i could not help but jealous them oo.. worst worst , my younger brother wey dey ss2 marveled me with narations of how he and his new “ chick” celebrated val by chilling out at mr biggs and having fun at a swimming pool before retiring to our house to chill further,,

What do u mean by chill further ?/ i asked inquistively from my ever promiscuous younger brother
Haaha .. i mean chill and talk naa..
Hmnn did u do the do ?? i asked again wanting to be sure what am thinking is right.

The only thing he did was smile.. Maybe he go give me the answer tomorrow ,only God knows..

vizkiz:
classcaptain yaf come again with another story oh

lol..this one na tragedy ooh.. e no funny

How on earth will i forget the 14th of february. It was an horrible experience which i will never forget in my life...sometimes i wonder if most of man “s predicaments is not governed by predestination and fate but by his own undoings .. Perphaps it was my ignorance , or was it was my greed but all in all , i doubt if i really deserve any of this.. And by the end of it all , i know you will be on my side .. i know everyone will......