₦airaland Forum

EdoBoy90:
They now know d important of 2.1 and first class.

I can apply for any job as far my 2.1 is concerned.

Did you just say "important"? How funny!

Mr 2:1 keep on bragging when you can't even compose a correct English sentence.

Here is another:

Over the week, people who had gone back to their former clubs each received 4 goals;

Guardiola went back to Camp Nou and took 4

Van Persie came back to Old Trafford and took 4

Mourinho and Mata also came back to Stamford Bridge and collected 4

Here are some more funny comments

JUDAS ISCARIOT BETRAYED JESUS WITH A PECK.

I'm sure you know the end result. Terry greeted MOURINHO with a PECK and the result produced...

P-PEDRO
E-EDEN HAZARD
C-CAHILL
K-KANTE

A 4-0 PECK

Papikush:
Why is that Idiot number one?

You call your President an idiot when you sound like a swellhead yourself!

Has anyone in your pathetic generation ever produced a president let alone a doryphore like you? What's your highest achievement in life please for you to insult your president?

Grow up kid!

These mentioned conditions are just hogwash! At best those things you mentioned can only aid boobs condition a little. I have had LOTS of ladies as friends and lovers so far and I can say a lot about women, the boobs of a lady are mostly controlled by genetic matter and conditions, what I mean is that its nature.

A lady whose nature is to have round, firm and "pointed" boobs even without using the right bra would still maintain such over time, and a lady whose boobs are not firm naturally even with all the right bra and all would still experience "falling" boobs, fine, when ladies start advancing in age their boobs would not be as that of a teenage girl any longer, but just the way some men are born short and some tall, it relates to breast size and firmness as well.

gentlegenius:
Agony of a pained and frustrated Arsenal fan... Sorry bro. I feel your pains.

Are you sure you are okay? How do you reason please? How can I be pained and frustrated when I'm topping the league, presently unbeaten in 12 games straight and having attained a 7 games straight win record just recently?

How on earth can I be pained when my club has achieved such a feat so far? Mention your club and let's assess its level of success so far in comparison with that of Arsenal. I wanna know which team you support in EPL which presently is performing better than Arsenal for you to have the guts to ridicule Arsenal. Nigerians like you argue football subjectively and its so pathetic!

gentlegenius:
Arsenal being on top of the table is like an elephant sitting on top of a tree. No one knows how it got up there but everyone knows it will FALL...

Lame banter which is so stale! Can't you think of something more original or creative than recycling stale banter? So Pathetic!

And which club are you a fan of please? I wanna know so we would judge from your club's present performance to ascertain if your club can stay on the top of the league and not drop off.

EPL Table presently:
Arsenal. 20
Manchester City. 19
Tottenham Hotspur. 19
Liverpool. 17

So what's so strange and surprising here?

Nigerians and pretence!

Hasn't that dude seen that ass over a million times even without any clothes or panties on it?

So what's the big deal here?

"A man that must marry a woman with heavy breasts must also develop the muscles to squeeze them" African proverb.

You'll never be good enough for someone else if you aren't good enough for yourself, so pour a glass of positive self worth and swallow.

Shut up!

Like seriously when did this man start watching football? Why hasn't playing for the national team cost other top players around the world their club's place?

Mikel is just average in terms of capabilities and skill and that's the truth, he isn't exceptional, no exceptional player is ousted from his club because of his national team duties.

Marriage, marriage, marriage!
..a nice thing I must say, but for now and the future, I think travel, fun and work seems more perfect to me. I might change my mind though, but I don't see that happening in my head.

Carry on bro. Real men don't ask for directions.

Suddenly Aisha Buhari is the friend and hero of the wailers.

A woman who was said to be corrupt and cannot enter America for fear of being arrested;

A woman who was said to be so heartless as to wear, and allow her children to wear, outrageously expensive accessories in the face of hardship in Nigeria;

The same Aisha is now your poster girl for morality/good conscience/anti-Buharism.

I laugh!

adedayoa2:
not with this score, Mancity will top with goal difference. Except Arsenal scores another goal ehn ehn, we go top table

As at when I posted that, the score was 3-1, that's when Arsenal was topping the table, its with the 3-2 score which made Arsenal lose the top position, although points tied with City, just a goal difference of +1 for city.

6 wins in a row is no small feat, I'm impressed with my team, that's the spirit of champions.

Arsenal topping the table now

All I see here is a morally malnourished girl displaying her high level of licentiousness and is being given attention for nothing.

Just ignore folks like these!

No content

I rushed here hoping to feed my eyes with pictorial evidence of a big man punching and dealing with an FRSC official but saw nothing! Just nothing!

Nairaland mods are just good at click bait.

This dude is suffering from the leg deformity scientifically called "genu valgum" aka "knock-knee" aka "k-leg" as called by Nigerians Check his second pic, the legs show it clearly

I will type my own Assistant Boyfriend story for you guys during lunch break at work.

Update: There was this babe who was a mutual friend to a girl I was shagging, all of a sudden she started calling me "bestie" and I played along. I purposely accepted the "Assistant Boyfriend" role with open arms I know she was dating a guy in a nearby state by I never asked her and she never told me a thing about it. Basically we just talked a lot about general stuff and laugh a lot and also went out to eat sometimes and the movies even in the company of other friends, I never made it seem like I wanted more from her though but I knew what I was targeting.

I just wanted her to become addicted to my company and all I could offer. I didn't offer finances though. She was staying with a friend and when she wanted to move to her place I became like her daddy or something because she would even call her intending landlord and tell him that her friend would negotiate with him and give the phone to me. The landlord was even asking is I was her father or brother That's how I negotiated well and we made a deal and she moved in.

You know the rest already After she moved in it became one hell of a jolly ride, I barely could stay in my house because all I would be hearing is... "Bestie pls I wanna see you now", "Bestie this house is so boring without you, my walls miss you", etc. The funniest thing is that her real guy was the one who was calling me later on, he said that he got my number from her, that she said I'm her bestie and he is contact me so I should help him fix their relationship issues, I was just grinning inside me, the dude was contacting the man who was the architect of his relationship problems for help

Few Tips on Assistant Boyfriendnism:
-When you notice a girl has a main guy and you wanna use the "Assistant Boyfriend" route to get to her NEVER ask her if she is dating someone or ask her to tell you about her guy. As a sharp dude, never ask any girl in general if she is single or not, just work your magic on her like a boss.

-Even if she brings up talk about her main guy, just act comical about it and change the line of discussion with sarcasm or intelligent jibes. Wave such talk off with making her feel that she is better than being worried over such. You gotta be smart and witty to pull this off excellently always though, experience makes it easy to do this on any girl as girls differ.

-Try and be fun in her eyes, always be unpredictable to her, always make her edgy. Women love guys who are a challenge to them. Whatever route of the "Assistant Boyfriend" options you wanna use to get what you want please try and make your impact seem like without your help in that area she can survive. Make her addicted to what ever you are offering.

-Lastly, don't be cold or platonic with her, along the line be more daring in how you hold or hug her, how you sound authoritative when acting with her, in other words try to have this unofficial couple attachment with her. Kissing a lady who such a bond exists already between you both is easier than with a lady which sees you as a platonic friendly dude whom she knows.

Every woman has a price, every woman! You just gotta know how to play your cards right and be good at what you do.

The best thing about getting a girl through the Assistant Boyfriend option is that when you get her, you became a real boss, you can easily walk away or mess with her head as there are no real defined boundaries and the affair is kind of unofficial, not like the official one which you wooed her from the start. So "Assistant Boyfriendnism" has lots of advantages if you pull it off well.

Tiv is the 4th largest.

Even Wikipedia confirms it, it reads: "They are among the
majority ethnic groups in Nigeria, ranking as the fourth most populous ethnic group. Numbering about six million individuals in Benue State alone, according to 2014 estimates, they occupy the Middle Belt States of Benue, Taraba, Nasarawa, and Plateau. A few Tiv are also found in Cross River and Adamawa States of Nigeria and in the southwestern Province of Cameroon."


Source- https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiv_people

Thank God for giving us Buhari, he is the only president who has had the guts to clamp down on these thieves in wigs.

I laugh when I hear foolish Nigerians complaining about the style at which the DSS clamped down on some judges some days ago, you all never complained when these thieves were collecting bribes and giving subjective judgements. I never knew our judges run banks and bureau de change outfits in their houses, all the millions recovered from the DSS raid shows how much this country is in a mess and needs an iron hand like that of Buhari to fix it.

The problem of Nigeria has ALWAYS been corruption, may Buhari fight the war all to end.

Alright

Now here is a phone to call my very own, wow! Its just perfect.

Crap!

Why would I spend about 100K for a phone using the crappy MTK chipset? Like seriously?

If I'm spending anything above 70K for a phone it has to run on Snapdragon chipset and over 3000 Mah battery capacity and this crappy phone here is not up to 3000 mah.

Lastly, 100k for a phone without software updates? You gotta be kidding me! Even old Samsung phones of over 4 years have gotten Marshmallow updates.

Crappy expensive shit of a phone!

Seriously?

Let me try and picture what's happening here.

Chinedu is hustling in Malaysia, he came home months ago and his mom hooks him up with Ngozi, they hook up and one thing leads to another, Chinedu goes back to Malaysia and Ngozi later discovers she is pregnant, Ngozi's dad says she must have her bride price paid or else he would throw her out, Chinedu's family arranges the event as Chinedu can't come from Malaysia just yet, and here we have this

Everyone's happy