₦airaland Forum

KINGSAMURAI:
at least yours is better, u cnt cook everyday bt hers is worst, she has neva cooked.

He can lead by example.
Let him start the ball rolling,she will follow suit. unless she's so selfish and self centered to see him cooking everyday he comes back from work and not feel like she should can shake off her own tiredness and cook sometimes too when she gets home late from work.

Or they can both reduce stress in their lives by cooking over the weekends and freezing it for the week. Life is not as hard as some people make it.

KINGSAMURAI:
LOL i wnt bt if he stumbles at it, then he will definitely know i created it tru my dp, but seriously i think d wife is absolutely wrong.

If you won't show him the thread, what's the point then? Aren't they supposed to read it and mend their relationship by helping each other more?
Abi you just want to analyze their matter on NL without offering them a possible solution as he came to you with the problem.

When next you see him, tell him to offer more help at home and then he will see his wife less stressed and more willing to take care of the family.

I personally can't cook everyday I come back late from work. Nobody is a machine.

LordReed:
You! Your first post captures it all too well

then it stands to reason that a woman should be promiscous enough to allow as many men as possible insert thier dicks into her

Was that not written by you? The woman is promiscuous while the men are exercising biological imperative. Double standard much?

You got that right. The woman is a whoree for doing that but the man is only exhibiting his natural flair. Upholding the 'laws of nature' as stated by none other than....you gat it. Man.

KINGSAMURAI:
so u mean he shud learn hw to cook nd b cooking 4 his wife, plus providing money 4 school fees and others irrespective that he comes home 4rm d office late in the evening?

Doesn't she come home in the evening from work too? How's he more stressed than her?

Anyway what does she do with her money if he's providing all these? She's leaves him to take care of it all? Smh.

They should share financially repsonsibilities and also share home keeping responsibilities. that way everything won't be on one person.

Una can sabi do amebo for una neighbor matters sha. Will you show him this thread?

LordReed:
Why are you feeling scandalised now? When you were busy advocating the right of men to insert their dicks in every hole in sight you felt righteous didn't you? But put the shoe on the other foot and suddenly it's a scandal!

See the hypocrisy of the biological proponents? SMH

I no get power to laugh abeg.

I hope there is nothing fishy behind these games of 'he's alive he's dead'.

But men being polygamous is not archaic.

Rotfl

ayyoshert:
I know how it is out there in the land of Tacos and Burritos, what we take for granted here is luxurious there.

You understand.

I almost cried when I couldn't find potash to make abacha (African salad) with. I found something that looks like it. I'll know if it really that when I try it.
And I've given up on looking for Pomo. Just eating the thing in my dreams.

ayyoshert:
Egusi and EBA to ki! By me.
1st and 2nd pics- just before the veg. Joined in for the meeting, in the egusi meeting we already got, mushrooms, panla(stockfish), dried catfish, crayfish, ogiri, we got a whole bunch of niggaz in there.

3rd pics- Veg. Finally joined his colleagues in the meeting.

4th Pict. By the time you see it, all the contents are already in my stomach, wish me bon apetit in arrears

HAhaha. Meeting indeed.
That fourth pic tho. So enticing. I want that.

I found some garri yesterday. I'm so happy.

innervoice:
You are naughty.

that I am.

innervoice:
Under good circumstances nobody is passive. Under less fortunate circumstances there is nothing to be enjoyed for one of them or even both.
However, it is true that women receive and men give.

Or women give and men receive. It depends on the style abi? I'm just kidding.

I agree that under true circumstances, nobody is passive like you said. Still the woman has more control over reproduction than the man does. So if we are to say anyone is passive, it would be the man.
Isn't this topic revolving around reproduction?

I don't understand OP.
Explain better.

innervoice:
You forgot to mention the right timing or in other words "the fertile window". A woman is only fertile for a few days each month. She therefore has an influence over who to get pregnant for. I didn't think of it initially.

Which makes the man even more passive in the reproduction process.

LordReed:
As BuddhaPalm quite rightly pointed out how can you not see how conceited your response is? It is this type of conceited thinking I was aiming for with this thread.
It is this kind of thinking that influences the thought behind blaming women for not birthing boys on demand.

Tell me does the man choose which particular sperm wins out? So how he not also a "passive" player in the game? If a woman has sex with more than one man can any of the men beat his chest and say for sure that it would be his sperm that wins out?

If you choose to call the process of one sperm winning out a rat race that's you trying to put words in my mouth. As I pointed out in a post the process is an interplay between strength, motility and position of the sperm. The number of sperm in there should increase the chance that a "superior" specimen will merge with the ovum or why do you think sperm count matters in fertility?

"Natural status is to select, choose, and impregnate" really? So the woman cannot choose abi? E don turn point and kill for man ba? LOL!

The "nature makes man polygamous" falls flat on its face simply because it exposes this conceit that it the exclusive right of men to choose multiple partners.

I am claiming creative license in my use of the term. It was meant to convey the idea that passing on genes is a form of immortality.

@bold, sure is correct.
Except that I understand your reason for creating this thread, I would be on the other side opposing you but since I know why, I'm playing ball to see if the nature proponents won't see how nature also makes it very appropriate for women to seek multiple partners.

That makes absolute sense doesn't it?

LordReed:
If a man is polygamous by nature simply because he can shoot his seed into several women then a woman is polyandrous by nature because she can receive seed from several men. It's quite simple. Who's seed wins out becomes a true champion.

Sorry if you've never heard of biological immortality before, I guess we learn something new every day.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biological_immortality

@bold

Words on marble

MarieSucre:
Nigerians, the whole freaking populace need to be schooled on empathy. I like the idea behind this discussion. I also understand that the younger ones are more vulnerable than we are. But I'd like emphasis to be spread evenly. Too many psychologically and emotionally damaged women maketh not good mentors or good guardians to these youngsters.

Pls its important not to buy into the narrative that grown ass women are to blame for the rape that happens to them. Dressing is subjective. No human should be constrained by the wants or needs of another except consent is granted or there is a mutual agreement. Yesterday I wore a skinny jean, a long sweater and a grey veil around my head. Yet I still had men ogling and whistling "sister you no go come my shop come greet me".

If there is anything to be done, I would like to help.

p.s men also get molested too. Let's fight this together.

standd:
Great. Nigeria is light years away from achieving all this.
Fixation on tradition, beliefs that a man should be respected even when he is a fvcking rapist and murderer, diabolism and a very corrupt judicial system is rife is Nigeria.
I am interested @the bolded and

already mailing Newspaper outfits to see what can be done in that regards.

Great job girl.
But they will need legal backing to do anything like that. That's where it is dicey.

Exactly my dear.
Just what I was saying.

Reorientation is crucial as of this moment. Imagine some people asking why a lady visited a guy in response to 'why he raped her'

Shows there's something fundamentally wrong.

shaybebaby:
Standd, I have read your question and though my knowledge of daily life in Nigeria today is limited, my suggestion is this;
Education.
Many people are unaware of their human rights, of their value in the society so these problem is not theirs until it happens close to home where they cannot ignore it any longer.
Such mindset might be difficult to change as it is firmly entrenched in their psyche.
However with children, this is not the case. Their minds are still pliable, their eyes open to the wonders of the world and their imagination, unfettered where they dream and are hopeful.
This is where we should start before the damage is done irreparably. Proper sex education in school and at home. Not just about the biological mechanics and devoid of religious connotations.
Teaching about respecting oneself, one's body and also others as well. Teach about settings where sexual relationships are appropriate, understanding the rights of others when they say no and respecting it.
Removing the taboo of discussing sex openly and letting them know the various contexts and subtexts of abuse.
Teaching them how to spot tell tale signs of abuse, how to protect themselves in such situations and if possible avoid it all together.
Provide avenues for these children to speak to a responsible adult in a position of authority without fear of censure.
Incorporating this into the educational system, will not eradicate the issue completely but hopefully, we can start to grow a better generation of youths.
How do we entrench this? Well this is the age of social media, many of us are parents and we send our children to schools. Without pupils, there will be no schools so collectively, we can use that power we have there to demand greater protection for our kids in terms of creating awareness as part of their curriculum.

bukatyne:
Sis, Nigeria is not ripe enough for this.

If there is indeed a database and the offender is ready to pay N5m yearly for a house worth N800k?

How are you?

Yea I know. I was just answering her question.

Hmm. I'm fine. So freaking tired all the time.

How are you?

dre11:
According to saint taiye

If nah man story now..... You won't say story time

I know women can cheat very well.

This one story is fantastic. More like a tale

We still have a long way to go.

Mynd44:
This is where we can start from

this is barbaric

standd:
You already know how our judicial system is here in Nigeria..
I just feel there are other solutions we are overlooking.
How they expose rapists who are found guilty over there in the states?

The law takes care of them.
After serving their jailterm, they get entered into the sex offenders list for a good number of years. Sometimes almost for life.
That way, anywhere they move to, they have to go inform their neighbors by law that they are registered sex offenders. Humiliating huh?
It also affects their job prospects, and those who were convicted of paedophilia aren't allowed anywhere near children.
But if after the required number of years they don't recommit the offense, they will be taken off the register as reformed individuals (hopefully)

Story time

On it.

@ chillis

Yea I gave up alcohol.

Maybe I'll give it time and see if second trimester will be better.

Dolypson04:
Complete your statement.

Who says they have to get away with it?
We are trying to rise from our caveman days. Lynching people won't help us with that.

Like you said, someone could be accused falsely but before we know he's innocent, he's already been killed in moments of passionate anger.

The solution for justice must rely on our judicial system. That's where we need to change things to make sure criminals don't get away with horrendous offenses because our justice system is slack.

.

Chillis:
Kpele. Don't stress too much. Just take lots of vitamins and rest plenty .

It will pass.

On it.

Dolypson04:
I have never supported jungle justice until now. I think the best thing to do is to castrate anybody found guilty of rape. Especially if their victims are minors who can't wear provocative dresses to tempt them.
But care must be taken as many ladies will find rape allegation a perfect strategy to get back at their male offenders.

jungle justice is worse than rape.
You can't put fire out with petrol.

I do understand the feeling of wanting to bash their head in. But.....

Freemanan:
That's another way too.



+why do you have to be pugnacious? You cool?

no I'm not cool. We are talking rape here. It's not a cool topic.

@ topic, I believe in reorientation. The average person out there is warped and almost imbecilic in reasoning. No offense.
How do you explain blaming and shaming victims while the perp goes around proudly like he did nothing. An added trauma on top of the one they've already been subjected to during the rape?
How do you explain a victims being asked "what were you wearing when it happened?". A simple but powerful question that connotes it is not the criminal's fault but the victims. How do you explain everyone around including law enforcement hushing victims and sometimes reprimanding them for not collecting money to just overlook what was done to them?

Until such diseased mindsets are scraped from among us, we would be pouring water on stone.
We need an overhaul. A very very sensational (if exaggerated) campaign against any form of sexual offenses regardless of if the victim walked out of his or her house neykid. Starting from the grassroots. Primary schools and working upwards. hopefully catch those ones young if we are lucky, some who have already grown with such mindsets will learn better.

Punishment too (long long jail terms). Like someone already suggested.
I don't even know how the sex offenders list will work when we don't have active database. How many employers can afford to run background checks in Nigeria. Maybe the big companies. But the smaller ones in smaller communities can't do such. They'll just employ a pedophile and set him or her to babysit kids.

I tire seriously.