₦airaland Forum

Tough choice. I don't envy you him. If the woman was old and helpless and the wife could handle things on her own, then maybe it made sense he went for the mother.

But what about the kids. Are they little? Don't tell me he left little kids to fend for themselves.

Grilled chicken breasts, sautéed vegetables and baked potato chips.

banmee:
I'm telling you mrs coco, trying to explain normalcy to these people is like trying to explain the mechanics of what makes a rocket fly to a 3 year old. Smh.

exactly

banmee:
Which is why i said that i get it. You are a product of a messed up society. The Nigerian society breeds psychotic animals, so it's citizens have no choice but to act like one. Take heart.

Tell me about it. It's saddening

So what now? Jungle justice is the leading cause of death of young men in Nigeria? The funny thing is that the government never says anything about this. It's disappointing.

I couldn't have said it better. OP this is all.

Just take it gradually. Be yourself. I'm sure your husband who is the actual parent will even have to do some adjusting to come to terms that he's now a parent. So don't feel like you've to 'take her as your daughter' immediately based on advice you're receiving.

People don't just fall from the sky and become daughters over night. Even when you have your own child, It takes all of nine months for your mind to be prepared to become a mother to someone and even when you do give birth, you still have to adjust to it with time. So if you're not ready to take her as your daughter, don't feel guilty about it. You're human. People will give you advice that they can't keep themselves.

What you must always remember is that this is none of the girl's fault. So pls be fair to her. Besides she's an adult now. Her presence is less likely to hurt your marriage than if she was underage.

Best of luck.

Eketem:
1. Your emotions and fears are valid don't let anyone downplay it for you or force you to automatically accept this and act happy

2. You have been through a lot with conception so it is a shock to find this out

3. Don't rush into trying to be her mother, even your husband cannot automatically become her father, you guys are just getting to know each other, she has her own mother the best you can do is get to know her as she is and as you are no pretence.

4. Extend the basic decency and fairness in relating to her, don’t be rude or project your insecurity on her. Be calm let whatever relationship you would have with her naturally develop

5. She is coming to meet her father not to snatch your husband or too make her mother marry your husband, you are his wife she is his daughter there is no competition

6. I wish you the best. The worst thing you can do at the point is suppress your hurt and pretend. It would burst one day

There are many more who wish to turn. Nigerians can like pretending. You have gays and transgender folks among you. And they are many. No one is corrupting them. That's how their own nature is. Deal with it.

Of course you had to add 'but' to GEJ's commendation. Couldn't any of those other ones finish it if they wanted to?

Insincere compliments. He doesn't need it from you. The world knows the truth

DropShot:
Looks decent enough.

May many of this come to Nigeria.

Kudos to all that had one thing or the order to do with this project.

From OBJ who birthed the idea to Yar'Adua who renegotiated and funded part of the project. From GEJ who also paid part of the counterpart funding (he could have actually completed the project in 2014 if he paid all) to PMB who crossed all the T's and put dots on all the I's.

I give up.

banmee:
Lol....Check out the guy talking about being logical. Is it logical to support a notion where witchcraft and the likes can be used as evidence in this day and age? Did you even read the Op's post at all? That the police cannot do their jobs is one thing, but to say; "I presume the girl story to be true because a similar thing had happen to my niece in 2008. She was charmed or hypnotized by these guys. She came back home hurriedly that day packed all her mum jewelries and money to them". That quote was from you by the way. It reeks of a man who has no business in the 19th century, not to talk of the 21st. Nigerians and their mentality. Smh.

Cococandy come see ooo. I don jam another one.

LastMumu:
It will only be convenient for women to carry as they move around with handbags. Where I wan chook this big phone put for my pocket?

Cocolav, cococandy and Sweetcocoa make una come see ”Coco-phone wey dem do for una o.

Seems like too much wahala. I'll pass.

The guys post is irritating. I didn't quote him to avoid losing my cool. Someone said and I agree that "The single most dangerous thing in this world is foolish people in large numbers."

banmee:
My in law, check out this response below;



Do you know what scares me most about the Nigerian mindset? That there are tens of millions of people who think like this. And here's the worst part, based of probability, someone like him will probably have political ambitions in the future and depending on how corrupt he is, will probably be elected into some sort of office. I beg, please tell me, what kind of leadership/governance do you think he would be able to give? And he had more than 80 likes for that rubbish post. 80 people actually agreed with him. Smh. The funny thing is, Nigerians are confused as to why the country is so messed up. They love to blame everyone for their woes but don't realize that the main problem is their mentality. I used to contribute on NL to try to effect a change. Now i just do it to make fun of them. There is no way one can change people with a mentality this phucked up.

Don't listen to the e-diots

TheLeakyTribe:
Thank you all.

I'm not really moved by people calling me names. I'm doing this because I believe she planned and executed everything knowing my guard was down at that time.

This is not about getting the money back, this is about saving any innocent employers from going through the heartache she put me through at such a delicate time in my life. If this saves just one person then I'll be thankful.

That was the very first time she was in my room unsupervised, so she never really had any opportunity to steal before then. She only got that opportunity because I was very busy that day.

Her case is not closed with the police, they just haven't proceeded with it and she was bailed, not discharged or acquitted.

It can only be defamation if I've said anything untrue.I stand by my story 200%.

When people argue that she was jazzed simply because it was money that was stolen, would you quote jazz if it was my little babies that she took? Would it still be a pitiable matter?

If truly she was jazzed would she refuse to come to my house after agreeing to meet with me? Switch off her phone? Would her sister suddenly change the story, insult me and deny that her sister stole or claim I stole and framed her?

Would you much rather have me keep quiet, not post her pictures and then watch her do this to someone else? Would you be so forgiving if it happened to you?

Yea. The jazz just happened to coincidence with her madam's traveling time.

Kachisbarbie:
Ignore them, the tolerance for crime in this country is shocking. If they don't tell you to leave the battle for God, they'll say it is jazz or compare the thief to politicians.

That's how my friend's sales girl claimed to be jazzed, the girl was caught lounging in a hotel with her boyfriend.

You're even a very nice woman. I will definitely not let this slide if I were in your shoes, I must get a closure to what really happened. Maybe you should transfer the case to some other law enforcement agency.

Jazz indeed, chick woke up and carried out a premeditated robbery.

Are the posters on this thread serious? So all a person needs to go free after stealing is to claim influence of jazz? What a bunch of retardos.

So jazz is recognized by the Nigerian constitution? And you guys wonder why you're behind the rest of the world. Believing in useless non existent things.

Is it the police's duty to declare her innocent? If I were the madam I'll take the case up in court. Let me see the foolish magistrate that will acquit her after she pleads guilty based on the influence of jazz. Archaic people.

Banmee dem don come again. And I didn't know one could rob and go free based in jazz influence. I would have been rich by now.

Number 4 though. If I was unfortunate to marry that kind of person, I wouldn't think twice about killing him. My only worry is that I'll go to jail and my kid/s will be motherless. Or not. It can be classified as a crime of passion. Which mother will fold her hands and let her child's molester go free?

Winneygirl:
He is full of suspicion.
Then he chose to ask us if he should suspect her...

lol

You're hilarious. Out of touch with reality. You are the ones getting the attention huh? You're not the ones asking for it. These ladies chase you. Not the other way round. Pls who are the ones asking for these nude pics? The ladies just wake up and send it into your phones? Not after y'all have begged and cajoled for weeks and finally swear on your .... grave that you'll never show it to anyone?

But somehow your post tactically absolves yourselves blame for this. You're deeply concerned about married women keeping male friends online. Why aren't deeply concerned about married men that keep online female friends?

5minsmadness:
This issue of married women keeping male friends is one of deep concern to me. Since the advent of smartphones, facebook, whatsapp etc, the number of married women that engage in intimate conversations with men that are not thier husbands is alarming.

Sometimes it might just be innocent fun, the woman might just be looking for a little benign excitement, but we all know how women are and how they can be moved by words and material things. How can this be curbed? Should it be curbed?

Even we as men have a lot of attention we receive from female folk online. Even when we tell them we are engaged or even married, the attention and sometimes sexual innuendos keep pouring in. But for us guys we might feel it's all right. We are men and it takes a lot for us to fall in love which is the danger we forsee in women. But as men we get tempted too and start to indulge in the attention we get from our online vixens and ours often lead to the point where before you know it nude pictures and vulgar jokes are exchanged. Should we feel vindicated because it's a man's world? If you @op feel bad that someone is calling your wife so frequently, can u imagine how she feels if someone is doing same with you? What will she find if she looks through your phone, your whatsapp? Is it fair on her?


Inasmuch as you should take action concerning this matter, try and make sure you yourself are clean.

Cc tv01, pls I'd like your input cos am having a similar issue though I believe I have resolved it the best way I know how.
*hides shovel*

I don't see what's too lavish about that party. If you have it, spend it on your kids.

She's not shy at all.

Couldn't have said it better. Buhari thinks his archaic show-business goody-two "-shoes method is what will work. When in truth he's just using it to to try to polish his image.

Like if he digs around in amaechi' past he won't find practices that qualify as corrupt. He thinks he's talking to fools.

ejilife:
^^^^ FYI, his predecessor was more compentent than the dullardic Dauran. The former spent time and resources objectively working and implementing "improved corruption fighting methods and techiques" like :- (1) BVN - which today makes sure that all illegal funds can be tracked (2) Biometrics capture for the ministries- which ensured ghost workers are detected, flushed out of the system and billions saved till eternity (3) TSA - which he was implementing in phases to avoid shocking the economy and exposing the financial institutions (4) Technology driven fertilization distribution method - this ensures that the product gets to farmers directly and not some middle men. These are just few of them, guess what? He did all these without shouting or leaving one area of the country's need to focus all energy on one. Its so shameful that the dullard believes that fighting corruptions means going on "media trial" and arresting people to part with some amount and keep the rest.

At least this is coming from men themselves

JeffreyJamez:
I wonder how the woman always gets the blame..... The man that went to her nko... Nobody will blame him... .and it's fellow women that will be leading in that aspect...
Women are indeed their own worse enemies.
Just look at that one calling somebody husband snatcher, like the man is one lifeless toy that is controlled with remote.

obailala:
The last comment there is the most valid. A man is not a toy pony that a girl snatches from another, the man walked with both legs to this gurl, zipped down, inserted his sim card and downloaded vital life data. The man is to blame.

So is he Ipob now?
Anyway is it today that he realized the truth?

Every living soul in Nigeria knows the truth. They only begin to speak it when the status quo no longer favors them. May divine justice visit anyone who sees the truth but is too bigoted and hateful to admit it. You and your descendants will reap what you've sown.

pweeryambre:
Op I feel your pain, you will think you have educated some people now.
but it's almost impossible to have a conversation without involving spirituality, other wise you are termed as abnormal or evil in this part of the world... you better Put "Amen" at the end of the article.

lol

byvan03:
Eeehhh!!! To be dismembered? beneath the earth is perfect and cool. So funeral will cost over 5000 usd there? Anything less is cheap.

It costs way more than that. Except the person gets subsidized service. As per low income earners and those categories. Even then it's still not cheap. And in some states You still pay yearly rent on your grave site after you're buried. So I heard.

To me, cut and dissected is better than eaten by bugs. Either way the body won't last forever. But with donation I know I'm serving a bigger purpose to mankind. The man that I used his bones to learn anatomy holds a big place in my heart. I know his Facebook page. His family didn't put it down yet. So sometimes I go on his page and look at his photos.
Same as the woman that I used her cadaver to study muscles. I'd love to do same for someone else.

Well now that I think of it, buried people end up as manure to fertilize the earth. Yea so that's a purpose too. Anyway the former is more appealing to me.

I'm also interested in cremation but that's a second option if the first one isn't attainable. i.e if I die very old. I don't think I can donate my body if it's too old and shrunken.

byvan03:
This issue resurrects anger, burial is punishment to the living in this part of the world. I no fit talk Wetin eyes see finish for burial matter.

actually burials/funerals are expensive everywhere. That's why people over here have funeral insurance to take care of their final expenses so it won't be a huge burden to their kids.

I'm thinking about donating my body to science. I hate the idea of being buried anyways. Beneath the earth. Cold and rotting away. Eaten by maggots. Yea that is not for me.

So if his wife is going to be making a lot more money than him, what's wrong if he takes on The house chores? Does he consider those to be subhuman activities? If yes why was he fine with his wife doing them all those years he was working. So she's not a human being.

Let me guess, he takes care of the kids, keeps the home clean and his balls shrink back into his abdomen.


Retro dudes and their problems. Things they do when they are by themselves suddenly become demeaning when they have a wife. How loving and caring of them.

Thank you.

Nice job too on your part.

touchmeder:
Absolutely lovely. Coco, you can definitely put this together for someone as per business levels, I daresay.

Well today is my flower day so i'm sneaking some time off to do this. Its more of a cry for help for me especially for one plant. There is this thing that reminds me of a white ghost walker invading my plant. I think its some sort of disease but the poor plant keeps fighting for survival. It still brings out leaves but its flowers are soooooo small and these days it does not come out again. Anyone who knows how i can kill off this white thing growing on my wee plant?

I believe this plant is the Bachelor's Button. It has lovely purple small flowers like that one

5minsmadness like I said before. I'm truly sorry. I take your word for it that you're not this troll.

OP you're not sorry if you're still hiding behind the troll moniker. I'm not interested in your apology.

You just have to ask yourself what's in you that makes you so evil that you only get joy from putting others down. When you find out what it is and take it out of your life, then you'll have peace. My forgiveness will not give you that.

You think this paltry thread makes up for the fact that you wished my marriage/family ill, and abused my then unborn child? I don't even take insults to my person seriously. I see it as part of nairalanding. But I don't joke with my family.

I hope you've found a job. Because old habits die hard. When owu blows you again you'll probably start looking for who to pour venom on. with your cheerers-on encouraging you by the sidelines. Using you to insult those they can't talk to directly.
I hope you're thoroughly ashamed of yourself.

P.S
I don't know who scarletmoon is. not that I care if you think I'm her but this is for others who may believe that I'm her. She does seem sensible though and I'm flattered to be mistaken for her. The disclaimer is just in case she one day begins to post ideas that don't coincide with my beliefs. She's not me. I'm not her.

How dare you? You want to emasculate the men. Hmm hmm?

Stillfire:
Thank you dear.
Nevertheless, if I lived in Nigeria, I would have considered it a much greater risk marrying early without a career or source of income or finishing school.
Feminists have laid down the ground work for women to be protected in the West. They can afford to have this discussion.
I consider early marriage to a Nigerian male especially living in Nigeria very high risk. He is protected by society to do as he pleases. Even if he gets punishment for a wrong doing, it is a pat on his back compared to the female. The position of the female in that marriage is determined by the whims of the man. A self sufficient female can afford to leave when he starts manifesting.
The marriage institution in Nigeria is not protected. Factors like brideprice in some ethnic groups already sets the tone for the position of the female in the marriage.
Before talking about early marriage, are Nigerian women protected in marriage per se? I think our discussion should be about institutionalizing policies to protect the female in marriage first. This would give her the opportunity to have an array of choices like her Western counterparts on whether she wants to marry early or not.

Why is it all about sex?