₦airaland Forum

Orijin101:
[b] I'm having a melancholic feeling deep down inside me right now but i just have to tell it out here so as to receive some mind-cooling/brutal bashes from you guys.
I was home alone that boring friday evening and i decided to stay indoor because I've decided to turn a new leaf from drinking, fornicating and other sinful acts which i promised God that i won't indulge in anymore.
While listening to music alone in my room, i heard a knock on my door then as checked to see who was behind my closed do, Behold, it was my girlfriend with a bag in her hand. I embraced her with joy and she also gave me a lovely kiss which made me smiled as if i just received a credit alert on my bank account.
To cut the long story short, she entered, dropped her bag, went to the kitchen to get glass cups, i was just looking at her as she was acting her drama. She then finally settled down and brought out 3 Magnum, 2 big bottles of orijin and a wrap of suya(roasted meat) which she bought along the road and she filled both cups with Magnum and we started chilling together but i didn't take the drink at all, she then wrapped her hand over my neck and wanted to feed me with the drink and i rejected it, that was how she started nagging that i don't love her, i don't take her serious, I'm proud and all sort of things.
To satisfy her, i took it from her, asked for forgiveness in advance and drank it all due to frustration then i asked her that was she now satisfied? she jokingly said no, like play like play, she was feeding me and i was collecting it until i noticed that he who was in me at that moment was greater than he who is the real me.
We were chatting, playing, and laughing but she never knew i was already BUI (Behaving Under Influence) and it leads to a romance session, we started kissing and doing all sorts of romantic acts which we've never done before and she was also enjoying it, i didn't know when we landed on the bed and we started removing our clothes *some text missing* [/b]

Ishilove:
http://www.today.ng/lifestyle/16-things-you-should-know-before-dating-a-short-girl/

profojah:
Yes..They are your feature and characteristic wifees...Cokacoola, stop embarrassing guys here

prettyjo:
hmmmmmmmm.....

deevatee:
bros abeg wher are u from?...no offence!

WholesaleTrader:
I wish I could comprehend what you just said. Sounds more like Spanish mixed with a little English... No offence though.

obi4eze:
Speak for your self Andyblaze.

Chidizman:
U have succeeded In making Patience Jonathan look Literate

obi4eze:
Olodo

succyreal:
believe it or not 85% of women have done this
remember there are still good ones

say no to abortion it a sin against God

ooooooh, whys is op these stapied your gave pregancy am your not prapred form it you belled her go remove it am she grees out loves and now you hear saying bull crep an angrly form you, seuna plasea barn these boy still 2099

Andrew114:
where is this one coming from? Did u even read the story well or u are suffering from hypermyopia?take this eye glass make u read am again mtscheewww

shegsky:
Harahan ha ahahahahahah, laughing in Swahili . I rest my case . By the way, which part of the world are you from , Brother cokacoola

Odyssseys:
So u quote the entire op to type this thrash wey no even dey comprehensible? You must be an APC member.

shegsky:
You wan make I give you spiritually conglomerate slap abi. Respect no even dey again o, Na me these 12years old boy they call boy. Korogba lenue.

shegsky:
You wan make I give you spiritually conglomerate slap abi. Respect no even dey again o, Na me these 12years old boy they call boy. Korogba lenue.

Endybest2424:
LOVE UNIVERSITY OF SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY

2nd Semester Exams For All Departments

Course: Advanced Love Statistics
Course code: LST 311
All questions carry equal marks.
Time allowed: 2hrs, 30 minutes.

1. If a girl is in love for 10 years and at the end, the guy breaks up with her, WHAT is the formula for calculating such love and time wasted?

2. As a guy, you dated more than 7 chicks at a time. Using the Almighty Formula, CALCULATE the expenses and loss in handling all of them?

3. In not more than 10 pages, STATE the difference between Orobo (fat) girls and Lekpa (skinny) girls.

4. With the aid of a labelled diagram, DRAW and EXPLAIN the term "Ukwu".

(Question 5- For girls only)
5. Using Laws of indices, CALCULATE the disappearance of your boyfriend whenever you demand for an iPhone 6.

(Question 6- For boys only.)
6. You send an airtime worth #1500 to your girlfriend and she sends you a 'Please call me I Love You' text.
CALCULATE the profit and Loss of the airtime being sent and use the proportional ratio to attain the equation.

7. You broke up with your girl because of Christmas gifts, etc. Using quadratic equation, CALCULATE how long it'll take you to get her back in January.

8. As a guy, you are dating other people's sister, but you don't want any other guy to date your sister. CALCULATE the percentage of your foolish and wicked behaviour. (Take pie =3.14)

9. When you check a Facebook profile, 99% of guys are single as their marital status states, and 100% of the girls are dating, engaged, in a relationship or married. BRIEFLY explain who they are all dating in not less than two sentences.

NGEREBO, ENDY
Examiner

Goodluck

shegsky:
Lady: hello, goodevening, thanks for calling
MTN customer care service, my name is Judith, what's your name and where are you calling from .

Me: hello, gd evening, my name is shegsky,
and i'm calling from ib

Lady: How may i help you, shegsky?

Me: i'm looking for a wife to marry...

Lady: Is that why you called this customer
care service?

Me: Yes, and i think i'm already in love with

You...you know you have a very nice voice...

Lady: Hellooo, please, we only attend to issues about your MTN line, owkay...

Me: yes o... This is an issue about my MTN
line too...because i spend much credit calling so
many girls asking them about marriage....

Lady: please, i would have to put an end to
this call...

Me: Baby don't talk like that now... I promise to
make you happy...you would be happy with
me...can I have your number...

Lady: *raises her voice* come, mr man, i
think something is wrong with you....

Me: *cutting in*... Hey, hold it there... I hope you can now feel how frustrating it is to receive a call and hear rubbish? From today, warn yourself and every other staff there..let nobody call me with a funny number only for it to be an advert or send me those nonsense messages you guys disturb my phone with daily like say am dating MTN...


*call disconnected*

dablazor:
I spent atleast a minute trying to decipher what section best suit this post and got tired.. I believe mods would move to an appropriate section.

---

I joined Nairaland in 2012 and became active mid 2014. I am more of an observer and I notice there have being a whole lot of ludicrous prototypes/misconceptions and others on this forum, here are the top twenty I could remember for now;

1. Every record made or broken in the world is either by an Igbo or a Yoruba man, infact Adam and Jesus are either Igbo or Yoruba, since the human race started everyone is once Igbo or Yoruba, even God is either Igbo or Yoruba.

2. Every Muslim is a terrorist

3. Every nairalander is either APC or PDP, and anyone that maintains a different opinion from yours on Nairaland, even if it is on a romance subject he/she has to be insulted because they belong to the opposition party.

4. All dirty people no matter their race, tribe or location are Yoruba, infact there is not a single dirty person in the Igbo land.

5. The Igbos and the Yoruba don't even talk to eachother in real life, and when they meet its all guns and machete, blood always flow.

6. Anyone that questions some perplexing subject from the bible is considered the first son of lucifer and anyone that chooses to use logic in anything christianity and the bible is a demon that needs to be casted and shouldn't be educated if need be.

7. Nigerians are the only sensible people in the whole world.

8. Ibadan is just a pile of mud and cave men (I believe this till December last year).

9. Three (3) out of every five (5) Female undergrad in Nigeria are runz girls.

10. All female feminists are not worth getting married to.

11. Every romantic guy you meet is Yoruba.. forget about his skin color or country of origin

12. All Nigerian girls are cheats.

13. Any reputable black American has Nigerian roots, and Nairalanders are root tracers.

15. Goodluck Jonathan has being sleeping ever since he got to power, infact he has never done anything for the Nigerian people.

16. Everyone in Lagos is either Yoruba or Igbo, infact Nigeria has just two tribes.

17. Every bad/good thing that happens in Nigeria, even if its something that can't be controlled by any individual no matter how powerful the said individual is should be blamed or credited to either Buhari or Jonathan.

18. All professors in Nigeria are of the Yoruba ethnic group, as a matter of fact, Yorubas are the only ones that get some education.

19. Every business oriented person in Nigeria is Igbo and the Igbos are the only people in Nigeria that know how to make money.

20. Everyone speaks Yoruba, even in Anambra and Kaduna states.

khatea:
Hope U r preparing hard for ur junior waec?

Rexhenrex:
go school you no gree.wtf have u been typing i screen shoted ur posts and showed it to ma friends, they couldnt stop laughing gbagaun of the highest order.

gbaskiboy:
OMG! your grammar though

adeekiti:
mr English kola chop small bottle

shammah1:
Nawa for your English o. U fit pass jamb so?

adebisiolumide5:
No commot yaba left.... you are needed there!!!