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This is a silent cry for help, a help I need but am afraid to ask for.

My name is Pat and I am in a messy tangle.

Night time holds horrors for me, unlike the ghoulish movie-type horror. This is a domestic horror that triggers no screams or bloodshed, yet it is as chilling, in its subtle creepy execution as any horror.

My aunty’s husband is sexually assaulting me. Or should I say I am allowing my aunt’s husband to sexually assault me. Now before you draw any conclusions, please hear my story.

I am a teenage girl who was rescued from the claws of hunger and certain suffering by my aunt and her husband, Uncle James. After my parents died last year in an accident, my Aunty and her husband took me and my little brother, Eric into their custody, since there were no other family members willing to take responsibility for us. As newly orphaned kids, we had no one else and she opened her home to us. They became our only remaining support in the world and we were grateful.

The horror started one fateful night with a touch. I woke up with a start. Had I imagined it? I sat up quickly and the soft sway of the curtains caught my eyes. If I had imagined it, could I have also imagined the swiftly retreating back of the disappearing shadow I just saw sliding through the curtains? The curtains billowed softly again, as if to...

CONTINUE READING HERE. http://thenakedconvos.com/i-can-not-help-me-will-you-please-help-me/

People of the world, gather round and let us discuss a worldwide phenomenon; an occurrence that has plagued members of the human folk for centuries now. One of the hardest things for us as guys to do is say the right words to a woman we like. Let’s be real, in that moment when you’re in her presence, you want to ensure your words are laced with gold. You want to make sure your words have the capacity to put some sort of smile on her face. You want her to giggle, to laugh…because if you can genuinely make her laugh, then you’re half way there. Marilyn Monroe endorsed this…

a1

However the gulf between what we want and what we actually do is wider than Chris Rock’s mouth when he laughs.

At that time, our brain gets clouded by a thousand and one thoughts all at once and we begin to foam at the mouth. Our heart begins to rattle like the soundtrack of Drumline or a Pharrell beat. Basically, we become retarded. How on earth do we initiate conversation then? What lines do we use? Do we throw on our faux Harvey Spector swag or just stick to our Sheldon Cooper geekiness? What if she’s not impressed? Then again, what if she is?

Let’s talk about 4 things you shouldn’t do when chatting up babes.

1.“Tell me about yourself” – It doesn’t matter if it’s a date or a mobile conversation, this phrase is for INTERVIEWS not informal meetings. Some may say there’s nothing wrong with it but truth is; it’s a cliché, selfish way of getting to know a person. If you ask me this, I could say “I’m 50, retired 419 kingpin who found Jesus and now wants to live right” Thing is, anyone can give you a story. Best bet is to ask direct questions that improve CONVERSATION rather than leave one person to do all the talking. If that’s boring, you could suggest you play a game where you guess stuff about the other person and see how many you get right. So you go “I’m going to prove to you how amazing a prophet I am: Your name is Falila Ketan, you have a big ass and love writing, your favorite destination is Paris and you bust a...


CONTINUE READING HERE... http://thenakedconvos.com/4-things-you-shouldnt-do-when-chatting-up-babes/

I feel like I’ve been sleeping in the belly of a whale located in the deep recesses of the Atlantic Ocean – the one located in Australia. Yes, that far. Why? I will tell you why. In fact I’m actually more surprised than Meek Mill’s face when he’s really surprised.

What did I just find out?

How is it that there are actually people that date one person WHILE THEY WAIT FOR THE RIGHT PERSON?

HAVE HUMAN BEINGS ALL OF A SUDDEN BECOME BUS STOPS?

SO YOU ENTER THE BUS GOING TO IKEJA BECAUSE IT WILL TAKE YOU CLOSER TO YOUR DESTINATION WHICH IS LEKKI?

You’re actually surprised that I’m just realizing that this is a thing? I mean, I thought we hadn’t fallen this bad as humans but this is..



CONTINUE READING HERE: http://thenakedconvos.com/5-things-you-need-to-know-about-jumping-buses/

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