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I have a thing for happily ever afters or maybe happily never afters. These were the thoughts that filled my head as I sat on my bathroom floor back pressed against the tiles and tears flowing down my cheeks. Regrets of my action flowed in freely and I would have to live with this for the rest of my life. I stare at my phone which had suddenly gone mute. A month ago, you would have bombarded me with calls to ask how I felt, messages to remind me you were there. But at this moment, I was alone and even the silence became too loud for my ears.

We had both gone through terrible breakups that year. She left your heart shattered in little tiny pieces, he left mine broken beyond repair. We were the perfect mess and we found solitude in each other’s arms. We promised to help each other heal – it wasn’t going to be an easy task but we were up to it. When you brought up the idea, I flinched “how dare you think of such” but deep down within I know I wanted it too. I had heard so many stories about these things – they never work out, they always end badly and so many other tragedies. You told me not to be sacred, reminding me that you got me as usual.

I go on Google and search for the best answers. Maybe just maybe there was going to be some positivity in there somewhere. I typed in my search word and I got a thousand results in a split second. HOW TO BE FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND. The one thing I feared the most was the one thing that kept popping up in every response I got: ‘catching feelings’.

We prepared a lot for the day. When it eventually came, all the excitement was gone. It was more like a rehearsed play. We both laid there for what seemed like ages before one of us managed to say something. It was you; you laughed so


CONTINUE READING HERE... http://thenakedconvos.com/happily-never-afters-fiction/

The pressure is ON to loose your virginity like yesterday!!! Parents who might have otherwise counseled you, forbade you or restricted you from sexual involvement before marriage, are now encouraging you to use protection because they have given in to the belief that YOU WILL DO IT ANYWAY, so you might as well be safe. But, before you go ahead and do what ‘everybody’ thinks you should be doing or have done by now, here are seven reasons to WAIT!

WAIT because IT’S NOT TRUE! Not everyone is doing it. You are not everyone, you are an individual. Make your own decision, don’t follow the herd!

WAIT because YOU CAN’T TAKE IT BACK! Once you give it, it is gone! There’s no rewinding the time. When you meet the one you should have shared that wonderful first experience with, you will know what a waste it was to throw it away.

WAIT because YOU DESERVE LOVE. Yes you do. Anybody that compels you to have sex outside of a loving commitment (marriage) does not really love you. Putting out doesn’t lead to happily ever afters anymore than losing your shoe!

WAIT because IT IS NEVER 100% SAFE. There is no such thing as safe sex! The safest sex is that between a man and a woman who are wholly committed and truthful to each other. You might end up with a baby, or even worse, a fatal disease.

WAIT because THERE IS A TIME FOR EVERYTHING. There’s a time to play, and laugh, and cry, and yes, have sex for the...

CONTINUE READING HERE... http://thenakedconvos.com/seven-reasons-sex-worth-waiting/

“For circumcision verily profiteth, if thou keep the law: but if though be a breaker of the law, thy circumcision is made uncircumcision” (Romans 2:25).

I’ve moved on to reading the Book of Romans, and this verse really stuck out to me. Here, Paul is speaking to the Jews in Rome, who glory in their flesh, feeling more worthy and justified because they are circumcised. But Paul is telling them that their circumcision counts for nothing, if they are not keeping the whole law… That they might as well be uncircumcised.

Why? Because God looks at the heart, whether it is circumcised or not, and not the flesh. The outward circumcision is merely religion, while the inward circumcision is spirituality. For God is Spirit, and He desires for His true worshippers to worship Him in spirit and in truth (John 4:24). While the former may fulfil the letter of the law (if that were possible), the latter is led by the Spirit (Romans 8:14, Galatians 5:16) and is dependent on the Spirit and CANNOT glory in themselves, for they know that apart from grace, they would be nothing (Phil 2:13).

Jesus tells us that unless we abide in Him, we can bear no fruit (John 15:4-5). We can produce no righteousness. Whatever good works we do in our might will fall short of His glory, and CANNOT qualify or justify us before Him. We must not only


CONTINUE READING HERE... http://thenakedconvos.com/is-your-religion-worthless/

...

In University I found out that my course mate and best friend and at one point in time major crush was gay; and it was a such a huge shocker because he was the Bible studies coordinator of a fellowship in school. Funny enough, this revelation is what made me give my life to Christ (a whole other story).

Anyways, the answer to the headline of this post is YES. If by “gay” you mean happy, buoyant, cheerful and merry then yes of course there are gay Christians. The problem arises when an individual identifies as a gay (read Homosexual) Christian.

Before I elaborate let me lay down a few basic facts:

1. Sin is Sin

If we commit a single sin, we are as guilty (in God’s eyes) as if we had committed the worst sin–regardless of which sin we committed. This is based on the idea that God’s holiness is so extreme, that even one transgression is greater than he can accept. This idea is supported with two key verses James 2:10, Romans 3:23 (Thank God for Grace.)

2. The word “Christian” means being Christ-like.

As we, all know Jesus Christ was sinless. Essentially, being a Christian does not mean that we too should come and go and die on a cross (Maka why? when I never hammer) but we should strive to be like Him and this becomes much easier with the help of the Holy Spirit.

So therefore using Bible Logic it is safe to say that there is no such thing as a Lying Christian, Adulterous Christian or Homosexual Christian. Indeed, some believers STRUGGLE with these urges but as far as I’m...

CONTINUE READING HERE... http://thenakedconvos.com/ther-really-gay-christians/

Today I went to a salon with my friend Fatima.

Now here are a few things to know about Fatima. Fatima is great. Fatima is basically the best person I know. Fatima is Selfless, Fatima is generous. Fatima is a genuinely happy person. Fatima is a Muslim. And you are probably tired of reading about Fatima; so…. On this fine Saturday Fatima wants to tie her hair into Bantu knots so we drive to this salon on Mayne Avenue . But soon as we walk in , one of the stylists who from her attitude I assume is in charge of the place points to Fatima and says “you can’t come in here, We no dey do hair for muslims”. We both start to leave but then she says to me. “Fine sister, no be you na. Come tell me which style you wan do?”

I immediately go into a fit of laughter because isn’t it too “judgy” to assume every one with a hijab on is a Muslim? And then You just drove the actual person in need of your service away. So I say, my friend wants to get her hair done if you wouldn’t attend to her we’ll just leave. This time she is the one that bursts out laughing. Then she speaks in igbo to her colleagues “Onye na- akpa okuko ka obulu ihe nkili ga-egbu ya otu mbosi were mere ntri”. translation? He who keeps a chicken as...

CONTINUE READING HERE... http://thenakedconvos.com/the-complicated-nigerian-relationship-dynamics/

So, “sex without feelings” is this new skill that all the cool kids have acquired. We used to think it was impossible but with the right tactics and soft skills, it can actually be achieved. I threw the issue to a couple of my friends and my experts are divided in their thoughts. Some say, it is very possible to have sexual relations with a person and not catch any “feelings”, the others say, it’s impossible to not catch feelings, especially if the sex is super awesome!

What do I think? Well, I have been thinking a lot about this and I think I have created the perfect formula for the best way to have sexual relations sans the dreaded feelings. Ready?

Rely On The Tried And True

Do everything like you’ve always done it, do everything that’s been statistically proven to work, do something Cosmo suggested if you’re feeling brave, something completely ridiculous and reaching you wouldn’t have the effrontery to try on someone you actually liked. Skim through the sexual script and linger over the good parts. Concentrate on the task. Set your fingers/penis/tongue/whatever to cruise control. Go on vacation in your head. Go faster when they’re close.

Don’t Look At Them

Of course, look at them because you have to, but try not to really look at them. Don’t look at them in any way that transcends looking. Don’t notice things. Don’t get lost in their labyrinthine geometry, the delicate latticework of their cells, the crisscrosses in their hands, slightly dry. Don’t think about the way their skin feels, the soft coolness of their belly you know they consider before letting someone kiss, like suede, cardboard, petals. Don’t overthink it. It’s just skin.

Don’t Look At Their Eyes Too Much Either

Of course look at them because you really can’t avoid it, but look at them like eyes and nothing else. The way they go from brown to black like a lifting storm, or black to tinted jade like honeyed absinthe(which is absolutely divine by the way), don’t read a pattern in the change. Try not to feel like you’ve been let in on some great cosmic secret, something so private and luminous the subtle flickering beauty of it in any other circumstance would bring you to your knees. Ignore the eyes and focus on the mouth.

Don’t Open Up To Them

This is major! Don’t make yourself vulnerable, become malleable in their...

CONTINUE READING HERE... http://thenakedconvos.com/sex-without-catching-feelings/

Nigeria’s problems are multi-faceted, but many would agree that the biggest of her hydra-headed problems is leadership ineptitude. This is not for the lack of quality human resources but because of mental poverty aided by years of wrong decisions as regards choice of leaders.

Every four years, Nigerians get the opportunity to elect leaders to direct the nation in different capacities, but since 1999 Nigerians have continued to suggest that they might be incapable of reposing their mandate for all the right reasons. If this was not the case, how would one explain that Governor Abiola Ajimobi, the constituted authority of Oyo state, got a re-election in 2015 despite his near failure in his first four year term?

Amidst the jamboree of breaking the second term jinx that accompanied Mr. Ajimobi’s re-election, he made six promises to the people of Oyo state while he also adopted the manifesto of his party, All Progressive Congress (APC).

Of all these promises, not one has Mr. Ajimobi accomplished satisfactorily. At best, all he has are myopic stumbles on what could have made significant impacts in the lives of Oyo state residents.

On education which appears the worst failure of this administration, the United states trained administrator promised to “take seriously the upgrade of schools to functional, modern models of learning. Their physical infrastructure will be..

CONTINUE READING HERE... http://thenakedconvos.com/governor-ajimobi-have-you-no-shame/

I got carried away by a lot of things when I was a teenager. I thought love was a very beautiful feeling. I met my “first love” at a very early stage of my life. He made me see things from a very different angle of life. He was my, let’s say “mentor”. Everything I knew about relationships and life as a whole came from his think tank, well I guess that’s what naivety turns you into when you have no older and younger sibling to turn to for any advice. I was just nineteen and he was thirty-two and even though there was a huge age difference between us, I didn’t care. I was in love and he was in love with me, at least so I thought.

I didn’t want to be the girl who lost her boyfriend because she refused to love him not just physically but sexually, so I went for it. We made love right inside my room, next to my mother’s room. Yes, I was that fearless and bold, just for the sake of love. It didn’t take too long before I started noticing some changes, well not the kind of changes we see in Nollywood movies where a lady starts to vomit a day after having sex. I started noticing how lazy I was getting around the house, the smell of every meal made me want to puke, I started gaining weight in some specific areas like my boobs and hips, then my....

CONTINUE READING HERE... http://thenakedconvos.com/i-have-a-child/

My brother in-law Emeka sat on the other end of the dinning table. His face had become reddened as he kept sniffing and blowing his nose into a checkered handkerchief, as if his nose had become a broken water pipe.

“Brother, easy o. Take Procold before you give all of us your catarrh,” I teased. A weak smile flashed across his red, bloated face.

From across the table where I sat directly opposite him, I noticed my brother in-law cast a furtive glance at me every now and then. It made me feel uncomfortable, so I moved the groceries from the dinning table to the kitchen.

I whistled joyfully in the kitchen while cutting each okra into halves and smaller pieces. I’d purchased them earlier in the day at the local market in Upper Iweka. Okra soup was a special delicacy loved by my husband, Nkem. This meal would probably be the ‘last’ I’d prepare for him before leaving for the hospital tomorrow, in preparation for the delivery of our baby – our first much awaited bundle of joy.

The doctor said I should be due for delivery by tomorrow or next. And because Nkem was a terrible cook, I couldn’t bear to leave him without any meal while I stayed in hospital.

The chime clock struck 10pm. Nkem wasn’t home yet. Maybe he was held up at the usual Onitsha, Niger bridge traffic. I dialed his...


CONTINUE READING HERE... http://thenakedconvos.com/unmended-heart-part-1/

....

We are not your regular kind of girls. We are not feminists, yet you won’t see us conforming to the odds.

We are your butterfly kind of girls.

We are the color after the rain. We are, to you, like the lyrics that make a song completely perfect, like you listening to Davido’s ‘If’ as you wait to scream, “my money, my body na your own.”

You see us in everything you do. Our smell lingers on your bedsheets long after our departure. Yes, we smell of the tropics, but we reek of certain things, like Freedom, pierced vaginas, dreams, salt and water.

These are the reasons we don’t stay, the reasons you can’t hold on to us for so long.

They are words familiar to us, familiar in the sense that the world identifies us with them. They begin to call us as the “Bleep girls”. But they are just mere words.

God.
Bleep.
Love.
Hate.

…One word!

No, we do not confuse love for sex. We understand that wanting a man is different from wanting to build a home, and we have learnt to be indifferent about our desires and wants.

We do not love for long periods. Our uncertainty is not sure to us. We are finding reasons not to stay. One minute we are burning for you, the next we are burning, but for freedom, and when we leave we do not want you thinking you are insufficient, that you do not fill us. Because baby, you do and that’s the thing that scares us. We are not comfortable with discovering we are so complete with you. We want a life where we can live with or without.

On certain nights, when we are without, we think about you. We see you as a prayer, a mantel, a home. But then, we do not choke you by becoming the thing around your neck. We find another way of depriving you of air: we grant you freedom until


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