₦airaland Forum

mutter: Just wondering how a married man can disturb a single woman
A man finding you attractive is a compliment. The woman can gracefully thank him for that and reject the offer!
From reading the post it is clear that you must have entangled yourself with that married man before the wife threatened you!
Now this !leave me alone I do not want" or "he was the one after me" excuse. is very old.
Whenever a man gets very pushy in his request the woman has in most cases given him the go ahead.
A decent firm woman knows how to put advances to an end before they get to the stage of being a nuisance.
Quite honestly as much as married men go after single women, many single women target them too because they are more likely to invest financially.

ujujoan, learn from this woman.....

Ujujoan: I agree . .
So don't you think it'll be fair for married men to simply go for the ones that are interested in them and leave the likes of Tash alone?
Form her post, the man NEVER told her he was married.
I have a good friend who was a victim of such a lying irresponsible man and honestly, I think men should begin to take more responsibilities for their actions.
The practice of blaming women for every problems should be abolished.
Just my tots . .

ujujoan, women must shoulder full responsibility!
the decision to accept or reject the offer of any married men lies in your heart. unless you can prove married men now carry pistol to force single ladies into dating them, you are just pissing in the wind. if an islamic cleric tries to preach islam to you on your way to church, you would know how to tell him to buzz off - but when it comes to warding off married men, it's a difficult task for all naija women.

long throat nor go kill una.

Ujujoan: I'm sorry . . what?
What exactly is your point, that married men don't go after single ladies
Oh c'mon, that's too low . . . even for you!
This is Nigeria and married men having 'girlfriends' is the norm. You are considered different if you don't want that.
Just because this is an anonymous forum doesn't mean we should lie with a straight face.
SMH!

the op said married men on nairaland are hounding her.
the claim is a reckless accusation without any substantial evidence to back it up. married men having girlfriends is the norm or single women doing aristo is the norm? which is which?

freecocoa: Coogar no let me break ya head o, why da feck would you assume she's lying? Do you know how many married men ask me out as well? atleast I no place any advert, that's not even the point.

even you?
married men on NL have proposed to you? it seems this is the flavour of the month. can you please name one of them or they swore you to an oath of secrecy?

The point is, why should married men ask ladies out even if the ladies literally ask them to? Why can't they respect the sanctity of marriage? Why are you defending these shameless men?

what if he believes in polygamy?
the men in naija with 2 wives, how exactly did they accomplish such feats? did they marry those women from birth? of course, these men were already married when they sought out other single women to make them wife number 2. polygamy is not illegal in nigeria and women are not held at gunpoint to say yes!

Bring more videos of how bad nigerian girls are, it changes nothing, what we are concerned about is these married man facing their wives, why is it so hard to understand?

more videos?
the one i brought out is embarrassing enough - i tore my newly acquired nigerian passport when i saw it. i carry a sudanese passport now.

Pataki: Thank you! How do you people even hold a discourse with this dumb Ujujoan of a being?

leave madam uju alone, abeg
she's my aunty-in-christ! the defender of sanitary pads!

It takes two to tango. To come and start denigrating men here all in the name of attention seeking I really don't get it. If you don't want men either married or single to hit on you, kindly avoid the cyberspace.

that's the thing......
if you are going to come online and with serious claims such as this one then bring your evidence with it. how are we sure tashamania is not another portiphar's wife?

biolabee: Is tasha an agent of discord planted to fan flames

tasha is a bloody attention seeker.......

biolabee: Getting bloody....

you know the end is nigh when only 3 out of 20 randomly picked naija women have a single partner. the other 17 have 4-5 boyfriends at a time.

Ujujoan: Bros mii, I dont know why you guys are getting upset over her post . . shei married men should not disturb her agian abi?
Married men leave her alone na . . .
If she wants attention, she can post a nude pix of herself and the like of Pataki will be PMing her 20x a day!
Honestly, I think the men are objecting too hard . .

why won't we object to her lies?
it's one thing to seek attention, it's another thing to smear the reputation of married men in the name of scoring cheap brownie points. the world is so sick these days that being a gentleman to any woman is misconceived as trying to hit on the woman.

stillwater: Spoken like a true son of the dirty parts of the naija soil! Sick thing!

oh lord!
see the species of women you are breathlessly defending.......there goes your window of hypocrisy.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lw3uAqT2iQE

are these women from congo republic or benin republic? you should understand why some naija men spew bile when it comes to naija women. the women have not exactly covered themselves in glory as far as indecency is concerned!

Ujujoan: Guess what, the feeling is mutual!
Men like you make me lose faith in Nigerians . . You are such a terrible excuse for a man!
accusing the lady of lying about being pestered by married men looks very much like guilt to me!
Why does this thread bug so much huh? You must live a sad sorry life . . . *spits on you and walks away*

ujujoan, mechonnu....
you have been on this forum for as long as i can remember. how many married men came looking for you in your single/married status? tashamania is telling porkies. personally, i think she just wants the attention and this is the cheapest way of getting. reverse psychology at the very best!

Ujujoan: Typical!
Now it's her fault cos she calls 100X a day? You expect her to throw herself at him and respond to his every whims . . just cause he's a man
There should be a level of commitment from BOTH parties in every r/ship. The lady doesn't even want to be conference calling 24/7. Just a 'hello' from time to time to show 'he's thinking of her' . . . is that really too much to ask for these days?
If this post were coming from a man, I know exactly what your response will be.
I wonder when NLd men will stop being such big fat hypocrites . .

i doubt it's the number of calls that irks this man - it could be what's been said. what brings about this number of calls stems from insecurity. from experience, these calls are just monitory calls with questions like - where are you? where have you been? i heard a girl's voice in the background - who is she? if the op is honest with herself, i am 90% sure she's guilty of these things.

hahahaha
thread has finally metamorphosed into a full blown civil war. keep at it.

lafflaff123: Okay I don come back and where Idowuogbo dey? again I am repeating it, everything has been put on hold as I am launching OPERATION FIND IDOWU.

Idowu I bought a book HOW TO WOO A WOMAN ONLINE yesterday and though I don't agree with a lot of the crap in the book, especially when it says TAKE HER OUT TO A FANCY RESTAURANT(wetin do Burger king $1 meal)reading it still.

Who knows how to send email on NL? not that internet savvy.

Where is IDOWU?

you want to send email to idowu without my consent? look at this wayo man. abeg, how much do you earn a month and what are your short/long term plans for idowu?

[quote author=Mr_TA]I'm willing to be bet we'll either lose or draw tonight. I just know we'll find a way to make things hard for ourselves and allow the title to go to the final match of the season.[/quote]hahahaha - i doubt it.
united would win convincingly...... it would be 3-0 or 4-1. the players can't wait for the season to end....

debosky: Ok, you got me there Sharon. I confess.
not!

good boy!
go now and sin no more.....

keeked: I have been secretly wishing for a different opinion. That is the beauty of the forum. Thank you.
I did blame myself. I said i am way into him more than he is way into me and the love is very one sided.

As per the arguments, they mostly stem from this 'you're chocking me' palava. I am used to how it used to be between us and he's obviously in a different place.

And are you saying I shouldn't leave even if it's obvious that the love isn't really mutual anymore?

you are way too much into him = choking!
step back a bit and see if things change. of course things would change. men don't want to be choked - choking stems from insecurity. let him breathe!

adebayo201: Seriously speaking,2dae's match shd be walk away. Saf shd gv apt care 2 d team selection. We shd win it once and 4 all.

Line up pls!

----------lindegaard-----------
--neville - jones - rio - buttner--
beckham - scholes - giggs - nani
---------bebe-------manucho-------

debosky: It seems this thread has grown arms and legs since I posted over the weekend.

For those accusing me, na una sabi. I wonder why it was someone with only 2 posts on NL came online to 'reveal' that I was the married man in question?

Multiple personality disorder (aka polymonikering ) is a serious disease - go and get treatment.

If I approached Tasha, would I come on the same thread to post advice or keep quiet and be praying I don't get exposed? Another product of a failed educational system.

i agree with the poster that said you are the culprit.
you are only using reverse psychology - just in the same way the robbers who came to rob last night would be among the sympathisers the following morning to evade suspicion. debosky, own up - this chic baked a cake on your birthday, didn't she?

biolabee: Interesting that the press are picking on Swocula

ENhlish hypocrisy

ENhlish hypocrisy

but the referee dealt with that with a yellow card. suarez's incident wasn't dealt with last night, the referee didn't see the biting incident, he only saw the coming together and besides, suarez is a serial offender.

he should be given a 20-game ban!

keeked: Thanks, sister ujujoan. That strength is what I need.

the only strength you need is not to listen to the dozens of comments here asking you to leave the relationship. some of the people advising you here have faced worse relationships. some of them have had to physically beat up other girlfriends to stay in their relationships - you don't throw a baby away with the bath water.

in all your well-concocted story, i noticed there's nowhere you apportioned any blame to yourself as usual. who starts these arguments? he says you choke him - how? do you make those annoying 100 calls to his phone per minute? you said he's across the ocean - is the time difference more than 3/4 hours?

is there any shred of evidence he's cheated on you? have you caught him cheating? from what i can perceive, you are the problem not him. i wouldn't want to be choked too and i wouldn't want a girl that starts shitstorms all the time only to start crying acts the damage has been done.

you are the problem, fix yourself!

[quote author=[CHocolaTE]]
Of course. The men don't stigmatize them. Only women do.
I guess you found this out the same way you found out that every single Nigerian woman wants marriage.[/quote]a man would actually pray every woman he meets is single to remove all complications. what's the business of any man pressuring a single woman other than scheming to take her to bed? you surely don't know how the mind of an average man works......

Sure. They do not also fear what married men think. Only women know how to stigmatize. Men don't stigmatize at all as is evidenced by the topics men make on Nairaland about how crucial it is for women to get married.

if women stigmatise as much as the men like you have admitted, why did your title not mention women?

You said before that women always want what their mates have and that was a false statement.

how is it false? women want what their mates have? it can either be positive or negative. when it's negative then envy and jealousy are born. when it's positive then it's just a healthy competition.

I don't dispute the fact that some women (not all) also pressure unmarried women to get married. Men also do the same btw

I just want to clear the air about the misconception many men have that single women are just dying to marry them. What most of these ladies actually want is peace of mind from being stigmatized and not marriage. Remove the stigma and many women will stay single

if you don't dispute women also pressurise single women how come that bit was mysteriously left out in the title of your thread? are you a feminist?

Ephramed: I have a female friend we talk on phone like gud buddies but no intimate chatting.so recently she got married.but now to call, am kind of skeptical on when to call her and how long to stay on d phone with her.cos i dont want to call at d wrong time and cause problem,so pls i need advice on d best timing for calling,cos its been so long av not called her.

stop calling her, let her call you instead..... i won't even call a fellow man that just got married. she's in a new chapter in her life now, let her enjoy her new status. go and find another woman to discuss baba suwe's NDLEA saga with.

[quote author=[CHocolaTE]]
Oh my goodness, not again.
Not every woman wants it biko, your census was not accurate. They do it, but not necessarily because they want it. They just don't want to be stigmatized. They want a life free of stigma, not a marriage of slavery and servitude.[/quote]stigmatised by who? by the same womenfolk!

You said it is likely that a woman like me will insult my marital status before any man would. That statement is not connected with the completely unrelated reply you typed above, unless if you didn't express your point clearly enough for me to understand.

it is well connected - i was just trying to say this societal pressure was manufactured by women themselves. the fear of what married women might say or think about a single woman is the reason they quickly jump into marriage.

Your opinion of how women think is warped and saddening.

unlike you, i call a spade what it is.
i do not post to rub anyone's ego or kiss anyone's rectum. mate copying is a common trait in women!

Societal pressure, fear of stigmatization, fear of ridicule etc.
I am getting tired of repeating myself.

i have told you all these factors are created by women. your best friend might even cut you off once she gets married. she no longer sees any point in being friends with you and she's the first to remind you time is ticking or try to matchmake you with the friends of her husband. that is the reality!

ileobatojo: Lol! You be real trouble maker (the poster had it coming though, trying to act all righteous in this thread). Anyway, you are on point. What else do they deserve apart from to be kicked to the curb by their wives? Nasty set of internet prowlers.

this ileoba must be naive......
a sizeable chunk of the female population actually go after the married men - they prefer the married man to the single guy. i cannot put it past the op that she was actually the chaser.

[quote author=[CHocolaTE]]
Ewo!
Chineke meh o!
Uncle coogar, I have to congratulate you on your successfully going round the country and confirming from all the women in Nigeria that they want marriage.
Congrats, it must have been a difficult task [/quote]every woman in nigeria wants to marry - it's a status symbol and the society generally sees it as a big achievement for the woman getting married.

What has this got to do with you saying I am likely to insult my marital status?

it has everything to do with it.
in nigeria, your opinion as a single woman would not hold any value if you are giving advice to any marital issue. the people on the other side of the argument would ask if you are married - if you say no then you would be laughed at!

Yes, majority of women want marriage more than men because they are under more pressure to get married than men, not because they desire it or will die without it.

and i am telling you this pressure is created by them. women always want what their mates have. your friends would want your kind of weave, bag, accessories, phones, etc - same applies to relationship. once any of your friends gets married, then the pressure to marry starts. do you not see how single women fight to catch the bouquet thrown by the bride like it's a ticket to heaven?

[quote author=[CHocolaTE]]
Even if society dictates it,can they not use their senses to reason on their own and realize that many people do not desire marriage and that life can go on without marriage? Society dictates that unmarried women should be ridiculed and they join in ridiculing them and pressuring them without thinking first that marriage is not for everybody.[/quote]this is pure naivety.
that some nigerian women don't desire marriage is a myth. who doesn't want a husband, beautiful kids in a big house radiating with love. it's only after some have failed at it that they condemn the institution of marriage.

Lol, wtf? Let's not get personal good sir, I don't want an emotional discussion, I want a rational one.

then you are not conversant with your own society and it's a pity!

*Sigh*
This repetition is tiring.....
Yes,
women want marriage (and so do men)
but many only get married cos of pressure/religion, considering the way many men treat their wives after marriage.

women want marriage more than men - men would readily put a woman in the house and make babies with her minus the ceremonies that come with wedding or traditional marriage. in nigeria, this is the fact!

[quote author=[CHocolaTE]I hear.
So why is the topic on front page about how many ladies will never get married receiving so much support from men?

Why are there many guys there supporting the OP of that thread and asking women to take his advice if they really do not give a shyt?[/quote]they are just giving their opinion based on what the society dictates. it's more likely that a woman like you would insult your marital status before any man would do. men just want sex and women use what they have to get what they want. "if you want sex, you must marry me" mantra.

[quote author=[CHocolaTE]Why won't they throw up marriage issues when every body is on their neck about how a women must be married for her to be a normal human being?
Are you people even reading the OP before replying?[/quote]and it's men's fault that the society wants her married? your title is flawed, change it and you would get a more balanced view. men are not the reason women are pressured into marriage. more often than not, men just want sex!

the op must be living under a rock...

women are the first to throw up marriage issues. some would not even go out on a date with a man if he is not planning a long term relationship. how many times have we heard women throwing warning shots that they don't want boyfriends but husbands?

Pataki: Is he a learner?

I hope he believes the well blown about talks that, he is next best thing after sliced bread....

Tashamania surely knows how to feed her trolls....

tashamania will never get another opportunity to have her thread on the front page - so let her bask in her one night of fame.

Pataki: Tashamania simply wants the attention. It is so easy tobsee that this is just an attention seeking thread.

OMO OBO needs to be flogged for disgracing himself here.

omo ibo is a gentleman!
he has no reasons to believe anyone would make up white lies on the internet.....

ileobatojo: That'd be because her story is plausible. Unlike yours.

her story is plausible, mine is 100% confirmed....
all the mothers on my street named their newborns after me.