₦airaland Forum

Jarus: If I say I understood what you wrote up here, I will be deceiving you.

professor jarus - i got your message and i'm in!!!

Cyberknight: A

Is this a doctor's payslip? Or that of a financial analyst in the City?

please don't make me laugh......i beg of you, my ribs hurt!

obadiah777: I CAN POST OVER 20 PAYSLIPS IF YOU WANT. I HAVE THEM ALL ON MY COMPUTER ANYWAY THE POINT HAS BEEN MADE

you're a walter mitty!

obadiah777: OK HERE IS ONE OF MY PAYSLIPS. THATS A WEEKLY WAGE AFTER TAX. IT MAY NOT COME OUT WELL BECAUSE I AM COPYING AND PASTING.

John Samuel
1 Corn Mill Drive
Farnworth
Bolton
BL4 9EN
Part 1 - Your Payslip
Employee John Samuel Employers Name Payerise 118 Limited
Employee ID 16783 Week Number 20
NI Number W/e Date 21/08/2011
Tax Code 747L W1 Payroll Date 26/08/2011

Payments Amount
Contractual Pay at NMW (1)
Any Additional Amounts (2)
Holiday Pay
211.70
441.20
75.29
Total Taxable Pay* 728.19

Year to date totals
Taxable Gross 3586.03
Paye 582.09
Employees NI 345.15
This Period
Taxable Gross 728.19
Paye 116.89
Employees NI 70.70
Other Deductions (3) 0.00
Expenses 609.60
Net Pay 1150.20

Part 2 - Receipts, Statutory Payments and Expenses
(Provides details of the amount that has been invoiced to the Client in respect of work performed by you in the relevant
period. Part 2 is for information only and does not effect your contractual entitlements to pay)
*
Net Invoiced
VAT at 20.0%
Invoiced Amounts to Agency
Less:
VAT adjustment
Umbrella markup (4)
Employers National Insurance (5)
Billable Expenses (6)
Non Billable Expenses (6)
Total Deductions
1447.10
289.42
1736.52
289.42
28.00
81.31
534.60
75.00
1008.33
Total taxable pay 728.19
(1) NMW - National Minimum wage
(2) To include any assignment bonus, enhanced rates for out of hours work and advance payments
(3) For example - student loan deductions
(4) The amount of Gross profit that is made on the supply of your services to clients
(5) The amount of Employers National Insurance that is required to be paid on your earnings
(6) Expenses deducted here will be added back to the Net Pay amount

THATS £1150 PER WEEK. IN A YEAR ? OVER 50 GRAND

and you want me to believe this is obadiah777's payslip? do i have S-T-U-P-I-D tattooed on my forehead? lolololololol.
you would have to do better than this to convince me. firstly, that might not be yours....secondly, the figures might have been cooked and thirdly....if you have to print your payslip on the internet to convince people you earn more than 52k a year, then you don't earn 52k per year.

obadiah777: JUST CUZ YOU HAVE NOT SEEN IT DOES NOT MAKE IT UNTRUE. THERE ARE ACTUALLY PEOPLE WHO LIVE LIKE ROCKSTARS IN NIGERIA. I KNOW ITS HARD TO BELIEVE. THEY CHARTER COPTERS AND CHARTER BOATS AND MOPEDS AND RENT ISLANDS SO THEY CAN THROW PARTIES. AND THE COOLER IS FULL OF ONLY CRISTAL AND MOET. OH BOY MONEY DEY FOR NAIJA OOOOO. BUT OF COURSE IT IS NOT IN MANY HANDS. HOWEVER THE POINT IS PEOPLE SPEND £40,000 ON A WEEKEND. THERE ARE ISLANDS YOU CAN RENT FOR THAT AMOUNT IN LAGOS SO YOU CAN THROW A PARTY.

hahahahahah - this tool is comparing the 0.005% of naija population that are spending 95% of the wealth to the spending power of the average nigerian. now who says the very rich in britain don't party too? any tool can spend £40k in any given weekend......the question is, does he spend £40k every weekend of the year?

obadiah777: you sound bitter. but anyway there is a reason why people in britain are miserable. its because they are not paid very well in that country. it is one of the poorest paid places to work in western europe. honestly ? £40,000 that you think is balling ? some people spend that amount in a weekend in nigeria. so if you think it is balling then thats because you have not touched real money. and it sounds like you have not touched real money from the way you speak

just when you thought the day's gonna be boring, another walter mitty emerges....
£40k per annum is more than balling in the united kingdom and of course i am talking about people who earn their money legitimately - not the poor excuse of an example you brought up. your ignorance is peerless in that only surgeons and neurologists earn more than £40k per annum in the medical field! you must have mistaken the british pounds with the somalian shillings or you don't understand the value of money.

and on a side note, i am not materialistic, i am not speaking from the point of view of someone who idolizes money. i am a soldier of God. however i am just reporting what people around me are earning and doing in naija. i myself have earned over £50k and i couldnt save. first of all british ppl believe whwn you are in that tax bracket, they have to put you in a new tax code. meaning they take more of your money. etc etc. the point here is the money is not so great in britain if you for one moment forget that 1 of it is 250 nigerian money. thats the only reason you have the illusion that the money is much.

you earned over £50k per annum? where? british pounds or the old nigerian pound? you must be having a laugh......you are a walter mitty!
money is very great in britain and like i said, you speak absent of wisdom! you focus too much on takehome-pay and only a tool would use such barometer to measure wealth!
the tax you talk about is the reason everything works in britain. 24/7 electricity, good roads, social services, etc..... in nigeria, the money is in your pockets but you then spend it on boreholes, generators, fuel, vigilante groups, erect massive gates and other needless security measures(something the government should be providing in the first place)! at the end of it all, i am better off!

secondly those guys were born in the seventies. not after 1983. you saw those 2 videos. do those look like twenty something year olds ? they are thirty somethings

i don't believe your tales by moonlight stories. your uncle never earned £60k per annum and roasted.....that's a white elephant lie!

obadiah777: lol brah ? £50 grand a year is roasting. when i said my brother was roasting in england, he was making £60,000 a year. however his job was in london and he lived in kent. when you take tax out of that and all his travel and living expenses. nothing left. no be roasting be that ? now he is in naija and he can cash down for his house. he is travelling first class every week to different conferences all over the world, all expenses paid. and those other guys i mentioned are now millionaires in pounds. you still think your £40 k before tax is not roasting ?

this is what irks me about people like you! you speak absent of wisdom!! how can you say someone earning £50k per annum is roasting? jeeeez - only 10% of the population of britain earn more than £40k per annum. you mean 90% of the british population are roasting? your ignorance is peerless!

it's either you don't know the value of money or you have been telling porkies all along - either way, no one should take you serious on these pages!!! norrisman with his £50k per annum is among the top 7% of the highest earners in britain!!!

obadiah777: all the people i mentioned were born in london, and one of them was born in sheffield

if they were all born after 1983 and their parents ain't british - then the people you mentioned are not british citizens!

obadiah777: SPEAKING FROM MY EXPERIENCE. EVERYONE I PERSONALLY KNOW WHO LEFT ENGLAND FOR NIGERIA IS DOING VERY WELL
1-MY OWN SENIOR BROTHER...HE IS ONE OF THE OGA PATAPATA OF LASTMA. THIS IS AFTER 21 YEARS OF ROASTING IN ENGLAND. NOW HE IS IN DIFFERENT CITIES ALL OVER THE WORLD EVERY WEEK, ALL EXPENSES PAID.

2-A PERSONAL FRIEND OF MINE. ROASTED IN ENGLAND FOR LIKE 15 YEARS. NOW HE OWNS A HOTEL AMONGST OTHER BUSINESSES IN IKEJA. HE JUST LEFT ENGLAND FOR A 2 WEEK VACATION OF SURFING AND GOLFING

3-ANOTHER ACQUIANTANCE. ROASTED IN ENGLAND FOR LIKE 15 YEARS. NOW HE OWNS A FOOD CHAIN BUSINESS IN NAIJA

4-ANOTHER GUY I KNOW. ROASTED IN ENGLAND. NOW HE OWNS AN OIL AND GAS COMPANY IN NAIJA

5-ANOTHER GUY I KNOW NOW OWNS A FISHERIES FARM AND HE GETS ROASTING OF FISH CONTRACTS FROM THE GOVT.

AMONGST A HOST OF PEOPLE I KNOW. NOW I DONT DOUBT YOUR STORY THAT PEOPLE RETURN TO NAIJA AND GET POORER. I JUST HAVENT HEARD OF ANY YET.

i think it's imperative to distinguish between the kinds of people we are talking about so others can understand! there are people who have the rights to work and live in the uk and there are some people who don't have such rights! people who have no papers to work and live in the uk are better off in nigeria(if they don't have any legal source of income). however, if you can live and work in the uk legally with qualifications and skills....then the sky is the limit! i don't have any doubt about the examples you laid up there but what were the immigration status of these friends of yours in the uk? were they working or ............?

obadiah777: LOL SERIALLINK WETIN DEY SHELE

ANYWAY, BILLYONAIRE NOT EVERYONE IS OBSESSED WITH MONEY. SOME PEOPLE DONT USE MONEY TO MEASURE THEIR SUCCESS AND HUMANITY. MONEY IS JUST A MEANS TO GET WHAT YOU WANT. LETS NOT MAKE IT THE BE ALL AND END ALL OF LIFE CUZ IT AINT. ITS THAT MENTALITY THAT HAS NIGERIA THE WAY IT IS TODAY. IF I HAD YOUR MENTALITY THAT I AM A FAILURE BECAUSE I AM CONTENT WITH WHAT I HAVE, THEN IF I ASSUME GOVT POSITIONS WOULDNT I BE A FAILURE IF I DONT STEAL BILLIONS OF DOLLARS ? AFTER-ALL MONEY IS THE MEASURE OF A MANS HUMANITY ?

ANYWAY I DIGRESS

ENGLAND IS A DREAM-KILLER AND A LEVELLER. DEPENDS ON YOUR PERSONALITY. IF YOU ARE SOMEONE WHO JUST VALUES THE BASIC IN LIFE WHICH YOU NEVER HAD IN NIGERIA THEN IT IS A LEVELLER. MEANING IT PULLS YOU UP TO THE SAME LEVEL EVERYONE IS ON.

HOWEVER IF YOU ARE AN AMBITIOUS PERSON, ENGLAND IS A DREAM KILLER. THERE IS THIS GUY CALLED DEJI AKINYANJU. LIVED IN LONDON FOR NEARLY 20 YEARS. DUDE WAS ROASTING JUST LIKE MOST PEOPLE IN ENGLAND. ONE DAY HE WAS LIKE, I CANT KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS. HE PACKED HIS BAGS AND RETURNED TO NIGERIA WITH ABSOLUTELY ALMOST NOTHING. TODAY HE IS A MULTIMILLIONAIRE IN POUNDS AFTER ONLY 5 YEARS IN NIGERIA. HE OWNS ALL THE CHICKEN REPUBLIC STORES IN NIGERIA AMONGST MANY OTHER BUSINESSES. YOU CAN SEE HIM BEING INTERVIEWED ON CNBC AND CNN ABOUT MARKET TRENDS. THE POINT HERE IS IF YOU ARE AN AMBITIOUS PERSON, LONDON IS NOT FOR YOU. IT IS A DREAM KILLER. HOWEVER IF THE ONLY THING IN LIFE THAT MATTERS TO YOU IS CONSTANT ELECTRICITY AND STABILITY, THEN IT IS FOR YOU.

for every deji akinyanju you find, there are hundreds of nigerians who left uk/usa and became poorer. some of them have not had the opportunity to go back again....stop citing 1 in a million examples like its the norm!!

jay bee: I should have elaborated a bit on the employability stance.
So many people have degrees but not the right skills.
Someone that over-qualified should know that branding is key when trying to succeed in an over competitive place like the UK or elsewhere.
Degrees has stopped being the golden ticket to employment.

Even common admin/receptionist staff earn more than 21k per annum so i'd ask again, is you homebwoi employable?

well - he's an educationist! i don't think that particular field has any potent skill-set abi you expect him to be cisco-qualified or a sap consultant?

jay bee: I'm quite sure there are numerous vacancies for graduate teachers. Heck they even pay them to retrain for a year or so..
Is your homebwoi employable?

he's employable but married to his mortgage!! this is why i don't really buy into the mortgage thingy - it's like a marriage that ties you down and restricts your movement!

chidi should remain where he is - only his enemies would advise he moves back to nigeria. there's no amount of money i can make in nigeria that would compensate for the lack of security and the general breakdown of law and order. yes, chidi feels he is underutilising himself but he is still breathing and his family are safer in the uk than they could ever be if they moved to nigeria!

why can't chidi take bank loans in the uk and do business? must his 9-5 be his only source of income? there are petty businesses he can dabble into. taking refurbished mobile phones to nigeria is a good start! he has a british passport so there's freedom of movement. don't let anyone deceive you and chidi about the nigerian pie - if it's that easy, 70% of the population wouldn't be in the poverty echelon!

tunlaji: No biff & i`m not tribalistic but why are igbo people so into fraud, 419 etc Which ever country they manage to step foot in they always destroy our good name, making it difficult for other honest Nigerians 2 pursue legitimate businesses or vocations?? The worse part is they know they will get caught but they never mind the jail term as long as the money is kept safely for them when they get out. I'm not making this up but seriously i have heard an igbo man boast of this before, its just disappointing. The igbos are also synonymous with kidnapping, ritual killing, child trafficking and prostitution

so people of the other parts of nigeria are not into fraud or other various vices? get your myopic views out of here, you hypersensitive tribalist! a nigerian committed an offence - who cares where he hails from? you are such an oloshious fellow!

Pataki: How many goals has Gervinho scored from the 5 goals attributed to him thus far from the central striker position?!

Remember he has already beaten his record of last year which was just 4 goals!

so because he's scored more goals than last season makes him a striker now? i am sure mata is also a striker.....scratch that, yaya toure is also a striker!

Pataki: ^^^ Which league table are you talking of?

So Gervinho and Walcott are now defenders?

they are not strikers...
arsenal's strikers are giroud, chamakh and maybe podolski....gervinho and walcott are like nani and valencia. na only desperation would make anyone call walcott a striker especially when theo is still pleading for wenger to play him in the striker role!

paris10: While his sentence was a bit soft, he however had no previous criminal record, and that stood as his mitigating factor. However, we have seen judges who gave upto 15 years for similar crime. He should count himself lucky for not coming across a bias and prejudice judge.

And to anyone (you know yourselves) who would collectively label Nigerians as a whole for this bad behaviour of Mr Ikem, pls refrain from doing so. Some people have not yet commented on the #Aluu4 (a cankerworm Nigeria must get rid of), rather they'd opt to comment on this one.

Although, Nigeria is labelled as being synonymous to fraud in the UK and all over, the English, Indian and Pakistani people are the biggest housing benefit fraud out there. However, this is not an excuse for any Nigerian to indulge in such criminal activity.

15 yrs sentence cos he stole £90k? impossible! he wouldn't get 15 yrs sentence if he had stolen £9m! this is not a violent crime and his sentencing of 2 yrs was even because he committed a fraud against the queen(hmrc). he would have gotten less than 2 yrs if the fraud was against any of these private organisations.


fraud offences are not that serious in the uk - this is why many other nationals are into it! the brits themselves are the biggest benefit fraudsters in the country followed by the indians/pakistanis/bangladeshis, etc.....

4llerbuntu: 16th August 2012 - Sir Alex Ferguson warns everyone that he has the best group of forwards since his own strike force in 1999.

8th October 2012 -

Robin van Persie (7) + Wayne Rooney (0) + Javier Hernandez (1) + Danny Welbeck (0) = 8

Lukas Podolski (4) + Gervinho (5) + Theo Walcott (4) + Olivier Giroud (2) = 15

so walcott and gervinho are strikers now? 4llerbuntu, you have taken your idiocy to another level! well done......look at the league table - united have scored more goals than any other club - fergie is right, united have the best strike force in the table in spite of rooney's 6-week absence!

Ibime: The eediot earned only 90k in 5 years. Nickel and diming @zz punk. His mates earned double and triple that by going to work. If you want to do 419 at least make it worthwhile, not spending all ya time forging documents for the equivalent of minimum wage.

what makes you think he wasn't working while claiming benefits? he created false ids to perpetrate the act - he could have been multi-tasking, no? the benefit system in the uk is too impregnable! i think it's about time they stop giving them cash - why should my tax pay for the alcohol/tobacco of a jobless lout on the street? the government should introduce food stamps or some sorta token to discourage these scroungers! as it is, it's too easy!

Freiburger: I find a two years behind bar sentence is too smalll for these kind of offences.

he would spend only 52 weeks in a cosy prison cell and get released...

Jarus: 1, COOGER: Cooger has been on Nairaland for more than 4 years and has been a valuable member of the forum, contributing to different topics in different sections. He brings to the table versatility and experience. He is also well-known for his command of the queen’s language

hahahahaha - i can't take the credit, english language is not my invention. that credit belongs to a certain gbongan citizen widely known as debosky!

bodejohn: The writer of this piece to me made only one mistake, which is to circulate this write up at a time that Nigerians are still overwehlmed by emotions.
A man detached from his emotions will see the complex interpretation of the writer's mind.
All the writer is saying is that instead of the Aluu community pouring their anger on poor helpless boys, they should have used the same energy to demand accountability from people who were suppose to provide security for them from the murdered kids if indeed they were thieves or cultists.
The writer is even more correct by adequately predicting that many more Nigerians habor the same level of anger, there have been comments of people here suggesting that the whole community of Aluu should be wiped out irrespective of how many innocent people are there.
The message of the writer is clear to me, misplaced aggression is worse than sucide.

the writer of the article made more than one mistake - matter of fact, the writer herself is a mistake! she chose the wrong time to write such nonsense! i understand some people revel in playing the devil's advocate or trying to see issues from a different perspective but not when the loss of lives are involved! no sane human being would write she's with what the aluu community did - i reiterate, in saner climes the writer would have been apprehended by the police for trolling! you don't play devil's advocate or seek attention when the loss of human lives are involved! the writer is a disgrace to herself and all what she represents!

[quote author=tpia@]yes, cultists who are masquerading as christians and who put on a cloak of sanctimonious cannibalism.[/quote][quote author=tpia@]these arent the likes of _______ who is openly cultist here and who most people know is "off" a lot of the time.

the topic is about those cultists who pretend to be friendly, morally inclined religious people but who in reality are simply spying on sound christians with the intention of attacking them.

they abound here and cloak their real activities under so-called "harmless" banter through which they signal their kinsfolk [fellow satanists and juju worshippers] and point out targets.


they are spying on people both on and offline, and can function primarily as scouts, though one of them in particular who i've observed on nl, is pretending to be an innocuous scout but in reality is a very dangerous planner and killer, with others under her control.[/quote]sakes!
i mean for fück sake - i have never seen anyone as paranoid as this tpia of a woman - what's the meaning of this gibberish? who is spying on who? who wants to eat the next person on a faceless forum? tpia, get over your village mentality that everyone is out to hurt you - no one knows or recognises you - i would never meet 99.99999% of the members here and i am sure the same applies to you - so what's with your fascination that you are being spied/watched? you must have been raised from a polygamous home - only kids raised in this kind of environment sees everyone as their enemies trying to put jazz in their food/water!

shame on you, tpia!

Deyinka007: Yeah, their democracy started 5 years ago, no?

stop clowning mate! jfk was murdered in the 60s...some of the people i mentioned were assassinated in the last 5 yrs...there's a universe of difference!

truth be told....de gea has the best reflexes in the solar system! lindegaard ain't getting to that ball in a million years!

[quote author=Efemena_xy]^^ What now? [/quote]una don ruin the thread! well done - association of rail workers....

Deyinka007: If that's your reason, America had JFK and Lincoln, too..

of course, and it happened 5 yrs ago....isn't it?

goodness gracious!

brilapluz: hmmmm.. it may seem you are really having a hard time comprehending my words...am not really surprised and i wont argue with people like you cos it will only waste my time and efforts.....

yet more idiotic gibberish without advancing a point.....

and on a final note if you want to push ur frustrations and anger,take it else where and dont resort to such childish nature in insulting people cos you tink you want to make a statement...if you dont like wat i say or do on nairaland,just pass or ignore my comments..period

i wouldn't have noticed you if you weren't spewing rubbish. it's better you close your mouth and let people assume you are a tool! opening your mouth makes it very easy for people to be absolutely certain you are intellectually sterile..........

kindabigg: OAU? lol. When rugged men dey talk, OAU go watch. Lasu/Osu, 2rugged. Skools wey dey count scores everyday for 90/2000s, no be beans.

hahahahahaha - now it's very clear you don't know what you are talking about! go to bed!

kindabigg: Lasu, Osu, Epoma, Deltsu, IMTSU, UNAD. Those schools no be beans.Abeg leave story!

oau would body-bag all these schools you are mentioning....lasu/osu? osu na school? lasu? unad? you for add chrisland and maryland comprehensive to the list to complete the aroma of shyte!

kindabigg: Unilorin for 1999/2000. State Universities are the toughest in naija. Unilag no fit talk where Lasu dey talk. Wetin dey for Lag? Na those small buca boys or eiye boys wan cause trouble or wetin? Abeg leave story! EPOMA wey be werey sch self bow when indigenes pounce on them.

make una dey deceive unaselves - state universities are the toughest in nigeria my foot!

kindabigg: Unilag? RTFLMAOOOO! Mautech fashion school, the softest school in Nigeria. I dey talk LASU you dey talk Mautech mtchewwwww.

how many of their students have been killed in broad day light like the aluu-4? like i said, you can easily tell schools with good pedigrees in the way the host communities respect them! no host community mess with federal universities! as for those glorified jamb classes you mentioned, i cannot speak for them!

jmaine: Lol @ Cooger . .Them no born Unilag students to even go tempt Bariga boys . . .Who go remain . . .As wosky/rugged as Yaba Tech is . . . . . .Them go think twice . . . .

dem no born bariga boys to enter unilag and cause trouble!

kindabigg: Ok! Let us all watch the drama unfold. Students have never won against indigenes in naija, ever. When 4 turns to 500, we will see who will end up begging. Villagers have nothing to lose but the students have plenty to lose.

A wise man once told me never to fight with someone with nothing to lose.

if the school has a good pedigree, the host community would never even wage wars with them. bariga/shomolu pack some of the notorious hoodlums in nigeria.....have you ever heard of them clashing with unilag students? na yam?

as it is, the aluu-4 have won this one! the community leader is in jail, several houses and cars have been burnt! get your palmtop and count the losses! i don't support violence but burning houses in aluu is very very justified!

kindabigg: So cos your great grandfather were naked in 1870 you have to be naked in 2012, no be so? Your great grandfather was a cannibal in 1870 so you have to be a cannibal in 2012, alie? Nairalanders and their infantile stone age rubbish!

thanks for strengthening ma point with this analogy! the aluu community behaved like their great grandfathers in the brutal way they murdered those boys! how can human beings even stand and watch such barbaric slaughtering of their kinds? the people watching were even more guilty than the vigilante group, they were the ones egging the vigilante group to beat this one and kick that one......

Violence will never justify violence. Like one of the poster said, look for the root cause and nip it in the bud. We can't continue like this, these killings have to stop. I'm ashamed of being a Nigerian and being ridiculed everywhere because of the barbarism of Nigerians.

says who? violence curbs violence: go and read about the odi saga of 1999....when was the last time odi community killed a policeman or a soldier? it won't happen again in my lifetime!

The root cause is poverty, poverty and anger go hand in hand. What's the cause of the Poverty? We don't need to look too far, we all know why there are so many poor and angry souls among us.

the root cause is not poverty! the tendency to be violent is innate! poverty or not, our people are violent! rich men are even more violent than the poor in nigeria so you fools should stop misappropriating the facts!

kindabigg: You showed you are not that smart. Have you forgotten Offa and the indigenes, who ended up begging? LASU and the area boys in Ojo? Laspotech and the area boys? You can never win against the people in the area, your school will only get shut down and you will end up losing when it is all said and done.

you don't have enough wisdom.....
look at the calibre of schools you are mentioning - bunch of glorified secondary schools. if fair is fair, all these schools should be converted into unity schools or federal government colleges! how come you would never hear of federal schools like uniben, ui, oau, unn, unilag, etc getting killed by their host communities? na yam? we are talking schools with pedigree, una dey mention schools like lasu and unical - you are a disgrace and if you don't pack your yeye self out of here, i would piss in your nostrils!