cococandy:
These weren't kids.

Except maybe number 2 class.

Aunty, Cococandy, we are talking about children here ma. Whatever you mean by kids? children of nowadays can be surprisingly more intelligent than adults you know? So don't think these responses can only come from after unis...

1. Teacher: Tolu how old is your father?
Tolu: He is 6years.
Teacher: What? How is that possible?
Tolu: He became a father only when I was born.

2. Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: Maria!

3. Teacher: Junior, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
Junior: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L
Teacher: No, that’s wrong
Junior: Maybe it is wrong but you asked me how I spell it.

4. Teacher: Kemi, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
Kemi: You told me to do it without using the tables.

5. Teacher: Ranti, what is the chemical formula for water?
Ranti: HIJKLMNO.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Ranti: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

6. Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago
Winnie: Me!

7. Teacher: Chima, why do you always get so dirty?
Chima: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

8. Teacher: Ali, give me a sentence starting with ‘I. ‘
Ali: I is…
Teacher: No, Ali…. Always say, ‘I am’.
Ali: All right….’I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’

9. Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree but also admitted it. Now Stan, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
Stan: Because George still had the axe in his hand…..

10. Teacher: Now, Nneka, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Nneka: No sir, I don’t have to, my mother is a good cook.
11. Teacher: Ade, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s ….Did you copy his?
Ade: No sir, it’s the same dog.

12. Teacher: Betty, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Betty: A teacher.

Can you please, help with the hospital address? Maybe we can be of help in any way. The girl should not be left alone like that. Let us show her love so that her spirit can be lifted.... please send the address or phone number to contact.

My heart bleeds for the innocent boy. Emmanuel, rest in perfect peace. Please, stop the killings!!!! Let our children live! It is their right please...sobs

Orunto:
Parental negligence.

What are you talking about? Does pareental negligence mean leaving your child in the hands of an in-house maid to look after? are you saying it was wrong for her to go to work? Did you not read that after noticing some changes in the toddler made them get the CCTV camera that revealed the maid's evil acts on the child? What do you mean by parental negligence oga/madam?

Eberex:


Don't you have goggle on your phone?

It is not about goggle on my fone broda. I just felt it sharp as a mother too. The goggle thing would have been long for me. In fact, am not myself now. I pray sincerely for the girl's parent and especially for the girl to survive and be in good health.

Please, my people, I need to confirm if this statement is true. I could not take my mind off it, neither was I able to sleep well at night after I learnt that the Ugandan toddler that was beaten by the housegirl died on sunday. . I pray this isn't true, even as I await an honest answer pleeeeeeaaassssseeee!

The bravery of this girl is commendable. It is high time we left the era of being ashamed of stigma and face the reality by reporting these evil doers in our society because by doing this, we will be able to correct the abnormalities. Shameless man.

This is great news for expectant parents - especially mothers! Abeg read this

An ultrasound is a regular procedure for expecting couples, and it’s not unusual for the parents to take a black and white print of the fetus home with them. But the rapidly evolving technology of 3D printing is giving parents – and scientists – a much clearer view of their baby. A clinic in Japan is offering to print models of fetuses from inside pregnant womens’ stomachs – and even giving them a copy to take home as a memoir of their pregnancy. Technicians use MRI scans and a technology called Bio-Texture modeling, which converts the MRI data into a 3-D image. Then a 3-D printer builds up the three-dimensional image. “These days in Japan the age at which women are becoming pregnant is increasing and the number of children women give birth to on average has decreased to just one or two. Furthermore, couples in their 30s and 40s are generally financially stable and are willing to go to greater lengths to preserve the memory of the pregnancy,” explains Dr Satoshi Sohda, a director at Hiroo Women’s Clinic in Japan. Kumi Mendoza is seventh months into her first pregnancy and being able to see and hold her unborn child is a new experience that she’s very grateful for. “When I first saw it I was really moved. The nose and the lips looked so real and the print looked like something that had been done by hand. I’m still surprised that a machine could produce something like this,” she says. And the the technology may soon serve another purpose. By allowing for greater clarity and detail, developers hope the 3D modeling can be used to improve the health of babies and mothers in the future.
Source: euronews videos

This is great news for expectant parents - especially mothers! Abeg read this

An ultrasound is a regular procedure for expecting couples, and it’s not unusual for the parents to take a black and white print of the fetus home with them. But the rapidly evolving technology of 3D printing is giving parents – and scientists – a much clearer view of their baby. A clinic in Japan is offering to print models of fetuses from inside pregnant womens’ stomachs – and even giving them a copy to take home as a memoir of their pregnancy. Technicians use MRI scans and a technology called Bio-Texture modeling, which converts the MRI data into a 3-D image. Then a 3-D printer builds up the three-dimensional image. “These days in Japan the age at which women are becoming pregnant is increasing and the number of children women give birth to on average has decreased to just one or two. Furthermore, couples in their 30s and 40s are generally financially stable and are willing to go to greater lengths to preserve the memory of the pregnancy,” explains Dr Satoshi Sohda, a director at Hiroo Women’s Clinic in Japan. Kumi Mendoza is seventh months into her first pregnancy and being able to see and hold her unborn child is a new experience that she’s very grateful for. “When I first saw it I was really moved. The nose and the lips looked so real and the print looked like something that had been done by hand. I’m still surprised that a machine could produce something like this,” she says. And the the technology may soon serve another purpose. By allowing for greater clarity and detail, developers hope the 3D modeling can be used to improve the health of babies and mothers in the future.
Source: euronews videos

You beta thank your star ole! theif business is no longer lucrative in nigeria o! if the gbab you next time, you go know say your reward dey heaven. shikena.

Dear Seun,
I think we should have a testimony section on this Nairaland because it will encourage people to keep faith in God after reading other people’s stories.
It shouldn’t be other kinds of talk – talk only but bring in something that will give hope to people please.
I am not talking religion here but whoever you are – come out and tell us what God has done for you so that we can be connected to great faith again.
Let us not limit it to our places of worship only.
Hope you understand please or what do you think?

Now I know this happens even in a country that condemns others for going by the law... na wah o!

Texas on Wednesday executed by lethal injection a woman convicted of stabbing her elderly neighbor to death in 1997, the first U.S. execution of a woman in nearly three years, the Texas Department of Criminal Justice said.
Kimberly McCarthy, 52, was pronounced dead at 6:37 p.m. CDT (2337 GMT) at a Texas state prison, the department said. She was convicted of killing Dorothy Booth, 71, in 1997, cutting off her ring finger and stealing a diamond ring that she then pawned.
McCarthy was the eighth person executed in Texas this year and the 500th put to death in the state since the United States restored capital punishment in 1976, according to the Death Penalty Information Center.
Executions of women remain rare in the United States. Of the 1,338 inmates executed since the death penalty's reinstatement, only 13 have been women. Before McCarthy, the last woman executed was Teresa Lewis by Virginia in September 2010.

I guess they are putting the law in place to stop the population of black people in America because of its effect on the last presidential election. They actually discovered that Obama won due to the large number of blacks that voted for him, otherwise he would have lost big time. You can see racism at work and we say America is a country for all? Lailai!

It is clear Jennifer rocks better, despite her age

That baby doesnt look like a 6months old baby to me o. But God save us from evil parents o!

Are these chains not too heavy for her? Just asking o!

Please Nairaladers, what do you make out of twins born on a different date having the same birth date. Okay, let me put it this way; If for example a woman delivers the 1st child on 31st december 2012 at 11:58pm and the 2nd baby at 12:06am on 1st of january 2013, which of the dates will you adopt as the naming of the twins and/or what will their birth date read?
Please give a sincere and useful answer please. Thanks.

As oyibo man, he never looked 63 to me. I was thinking of fifty something. I usually like him in his suit - always like the taylor makes his wears on him anytime, anyday.
I join all arsenal fans worldwide to congratulate baba wenger!!! HBD sir!

This one topic I have enjoyed in a long time on NL apart from the serious ones we contribute to. I just feel candieangel12 is enjoying the whole thing just as I am. It is now very funny. Nobody should feel offended because I see it as a relief from stress. I will keep reading every post to the last. Am enjoying all the attacks and counter-attacks.
Am sure you all are just joking about this.

Am sitting back, relaxing and enjoying this. Keep it rolling!

He even said one of them was his customer, this world na wa o. As an indegene of Aluu couldnt he identify the guy or ask him what actually happened? It may sound somehow but he could have attempted it instead of joinning them to hit him! All the money the said guy paid him for services rendered to him whilst alive will hunt him even in his grave! Am really annoyed o!

Can anyone pls give me where I can get good wedding ring online pls. I need to visit the website to choose. Thanks

As for me, I just enjoy it when he(my man) draws me close, hugs or gets close enough to rub his chin on mine. Because he shaves, that area of this chin though a bit rough(not smooth) against mine (smooth) chin, tends to give me some unusual sensation that make me like, oh! It feels good!

Please share yours.

If they had ired a warning shot in the air, it would be enough to scar the people away in the first place because no body will wait to know how may bullets you got in the first place. It is just an excuse ojare. Am sure the are the Aluu community police that goes about eating groundnuts and putting on bathroom slipperce all over the place - shameless police!

GUARANTY TRASH BANK. I used to think GTB could withstand the test of time but unfortunately the bank has become too full of itself to the point that they care less about their customers - am talking from experience here. I am highly disappointed in the bank I had once boasted of. Am sure Tayo Aderinokun will be crying wherever he is now. SHAME!

what I know is that, blood had been shed - either innocent blood or otherwise. The voice of the people is the voice of God! We jointly condemn this barbaric act by Aluu people. The blood of these boys will not rest till eternity. From now henceforth, Aluu community is cursed! the natives, both young, old and the generation yet unborn will take part in the punishment on them. I can imagine the blood of these boys crying for justice and quick vengeance!!!!!!!

But wait o, where are the parents of the other boys? I only hear/read of Lloyd's. Let them also say something now. We cannot keep quiet on this o! Justice must prevail abeg.

so far, I agree Chidi is still the best. None of the others measured up. Good to know he's back, I'll also be back to watch this year's edition

If it is ith good intention, there is nothing bad in beating a child if he/she goes wrong but mind you, you need to apply wisdom and open your eyes so you dont over beat the child, going by the gravity of the offence commited.
Majority of Africans beat their children if they are wrong; not to kill or inflict injuries but to correct them. Most children only understand one language - CANE. It should be supported with advice and prayers though.

Reminds me of fantasyland

How do we get your contact number now when you did not put any? Can one come for inspection of the house and when pls

I am really embarassed by this Empress. Shouldnt you be proud of your color? What are you trying to teach the youths with their skin color? Am sure you are headed in Michael jackson's direction. Repent before it is too late my sis