₦airaland Forum

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It is a well known fact that some Nigerians practice Voodoo especially those we have in the top government echelon... most of the time they do it to remain in power.


I personally think that voodoo practice is demonic. And anything that is being associated with God is forbidden.

FINE - This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES - This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so i feel that it's an even trade.

NOTHING - If you ask her what is wrong and she says NOTHING, this means something and you should be on your toes. NOTHING is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last FIVE MINUTES and end with the word FINE

GO AHEAD(with raised eyebrows) - This is a dare. One that result in a woman getting upset over NOTHING and will end with the word FINE.

GO AHEAD(with normal eyebrows) - This means "i give up" or "do what you want because i don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow "Go ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by NOTHING and FINE and she will talk to you in about FIVE MINUTES when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH - This is not actually a word, but still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over NOTHING.

These quotes were taken from actual resumes!



"I have an excellent track record although iam not a horse"

"I am loyal to my employer at all costs...please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail"

"I have become completely paranoid, trusting no one and absolutely nothing"

"My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since i possess no training in meteorology, i suppose i should try stock brokerage"

"I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant"

"As indicted, i have over five years of analyzing investments"

"Personal interests: Donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far"

"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a midwest chain store"

"Note: Please don't miscontrue my 14 jobs as "job-hopping". I have never quit a job"

"Marital status: Often. Children. Various"

"Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 a.m every morning. Could not work under those conditions".

IAH:
They do it here too. They will send you text and deduct from your credit.

Nobody is going to take a dime from my credit

Greatpeter:
Ok if Cushman could write all these and still stood on his ground that number 7 is luck and special to him,
then let us ask him how lucky is he?

You mean i should tell you about my life?

Yes..o... Owen. It's like the whole thing is underconstruction

hot-angel:
Mr cushman.. why u got to say it was your friend's bag. We all know that it's lagbaja's Gra Gra Video.

I Carry big bags.. The stuffs i carry in my bags are:

Pen and Pencils
Mascara
Powder (2 colors.... incase my friends need an urgent makeover)
Comb (2 sizes)
Sun glasses
Pad/tampons (durring period)
Lotion
Small pack of tissue
Listerine mint (incase of incasity)
Gum..(it's all over my bag)
Lip gloss (very important)
Robb (i am alergic to dust soo i shower my nose with robb)
A small nail cutter (has knife, can opener and scissors on it).
Wallet (lisence, pictures, cards, money)
Small roll on.
Small perfume
Phone and Charger
keys
Hair clip (just the lil black ones...)
Pins.

And some stuffs you need like on daily basis.
I don't put food in my bag.. because it could spoil the bag and all that. Putting Maize in one's bag is ewww... Although i once put meat in one of my bags... at a Nigeria party! We stole meats and wrapped them in Tissue paper. When we got outside.. my male friend needed lotion for his hands.. so he opened my bag and saw meat.. he was like...... ALL THIS MEAT!... In your bag?? It was funny+embarrasing because some other people saw it.

All these in a single bag?

The whole thing is frustrating!

Hot-angel-- Very friendly
Goodguy--- Mr nice guy
Layi --- Constructive critique
Latoya --- Behaves like my sister
nike4luv -- very cool

Thank you all for making the matter an "open secret". But there's one thing that wasn't mentioned

My own little opinion on this matter is that; one never gets lonely no matter what condition one finds him/herself in. The way each day turns out whether a happy one or a dull one is our own creation.

I've been single most of the time and i NEVER feel lonely for once. You're lonely only when you are dead.

These quotes were taken from actual resumes!


"I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience"

"I have lurnt word perfect 6.0 computer and spreadsheet progroms"

"Received a plague for salesperson of the year"

"Reason for leaving last job: Maturity leave"

"Wholly responsible for two(2) failed financial institutions"

"Failed bar exam with relatively high grades"

"It's best for employers that i not work with people"

"Lets meet, so you can "ooh" and "aah" over my experience"

"You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time"

"Am a perfectionist and rarely if ever forget details"

"I was working for my mum until she decided to move"

"Marital status: Single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments."

What do you mean?

I'm interested too! add me please.

sweetnini:
ok let mi see.uhmmm ok ive got some
pen,money,powder..........

Ha! that's not all. Nikky i'm relying on you

Protestant

I know... you keep lots of stuffs and so i'm trying to find out what those stuffs are

A new pastor moved into town and went out to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back;

"Revelation 3:20"
and stuck it in the door.

(Revelation 3:20 reads; "Behold, i stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice and opens the door, i will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he will with me".)

The next day, as he was counting the offering, he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was a notation;

"Genesis 3:10"

( "And he said, i heard thy voice in the garden, and i was afraid, because i was naked"

Sun

Today, our ladies give a very credible picture fom their looks which make an impressive impact on us. They wear dresses that matches or goes along with their shoes, headgear, bags, lipsticks, wristwatches e.t.c. and we just have to give kudos to our local and international designers

But that's not the issue because something is bothering me.their hand bags. I'm just very curious and ignorant of what they actually carry in those bags.

Apart from money, keys, handsets and makeup kits, there are other things ladies hide and are always reluctant to say...


There was a time i happen to open the hand bag of a very close friend in her presence though her mind was not actually on me she could have stopped me in a matter of seconds but too late... and hey...!!! guess what i saw in the hand bag

A dried maize combe and some 6-inches carpenter nails! 

So girls, what are y'all going to say about that one?

May her gentle soul rest in perfect peace.... it's a great loss to Nigerians

Well, what can i say? Everybody has his/her opinion on matters like this. But i want to get something clear...i'm not really obssessed. This number kept haunting me to the extent that i started associating myself with it. No big deal.

Scorpio:
I think it exists and i believe in it, i don't agree with that.

Try and convince me please

Well..., i don't believe in love at first sight. Infact, i don't believe love truly exist nowadays.
True love was practiced during the time of romeo and juliet, by romeo and juliet.

...true love has died with romeo and juliet.

I find http://wwwdb.nokia.com/nokia/hr/recrsyst.nsf/autojobsearch?openform very interesting.

           Apart from notifying the user on possible job match in nokia worldwide through e-mails, Nokia careers watch also go extra length in sending mobile text alerts just to notify you about a new job available.

   One has to register and create a candidate profile ofcourse.


             I hope Nairaland users will find it interesting.

adesodgi:
u know wot the best way i think it should be done is that all ladies should frre their mind if they going to contest or not........

Good thinking! Freeing your mind should also be made compulsary and part of the competition

Vmobile is looking for bright, energetic individuals with a global vision. People who are ready to roll up their sleeves and are not afraid to think outside the box.

Are you ready to make a difference?

Click below and submit your resume;


http://www.vmobile-nigeria.com/career-fill.php


NOTE: CLOSING DATE IS ON THE 26TH OCTOBER, 2005.

What are you girls waiting for...?

Start posting your pics now...!

cocktail