₦airaland Forum

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I yaff laffed and cried altogether



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We are about to unbox a typical slaymama/pepperdemgang, so sit and grab a coin while we together do this.

Qudos to our natural beauty queens out there and the moderately gingered queens.

1.The Foundation: trust me; this powerful tool can hide 15 strokes of stribal marks beneath it. How about spots like diamonds in the sky, it can hide them too. This worst part is when its overdone such that the skin color below the jaw line is different from the foundation’s. Before you wife her, make sure you have seen her without this.

2.Powder: some guys who aint actually conversant with ladies usually confuse powder to be the same as foundation. The thickness of some red powder can be measured with the help of a venier caliper.

3.Eye brow: wash this away and some Nigerian girls will look scary, why? The answer aint far-fetched, some have actually shaven off their eye brows. Imagine a girl with a shaven eyebrow, well, I leave the rest to your imagination.

4.Eye lashes: I was sitting beside a lady in a car some years back and you won’t imagine the length of her eye lashes span the entire length of her nose. I was like, wow, is this an eye lash umbrella?

5.Pupil: don’t gush over her pupil colour yet, not until you have learnt about worn pupils. Yes!

6.Wig: oh she has long hairs, my friend, pull that hair off and see for yourself if she is as bald as Papa Ajasco. While this is even better, underneath you might find a tattered looking hair with dandruff underneath….Am I exaggerating?

7.Nails: Oh she has a fine pair of fingernails, my friend, those are most times fake. The worst part is that the eagle is a learner where some slaymamas dem dey. I was at the bus-stop sometimes ago and a slaymama wanted to climb a bike, she swung her toes around not minding I was standing close, na small e remain make she dissect my hand with her eagle claws. I wan tear her slap but the way she take beg me, I weak.

8.Cameltoe/Butt: this is very rampant. Those massive meaty cameltoes in yoga pants, taaaaah! Those butts wey full everywhere? Na wash. Ask yourself, why do most of them use the bathroom to UnCloth before match? coz they know yawa go dey!

Before you can score your dream girl based on aesthetics to avoid stories that touch in the near future, Please rid her of these things then score her.

I drop my pen, add yours

lalasticlala
Mynd44

Good evening all, it's daewoorazer again

A popular adage in Yoruba says 'mo n wa nkan, kii jeki eeyan o RI' meaning- I am looking for something doesn't make you find what you are looking for.

Yoruba believes 'I need Biro' is better than 'I need something'

Well, that's by the way. The essence of this thread is to create a mutual market. Yes market, just that it's gonna be a FREE market. If you think you can't do things for free for fellow citizens, kindly stay off this thread!


My inspiration:

I am an environmental scientist but as y'all know, d country is in a greater mess than I am in. obviously, job is a scarce commodity. As a zanga man who is never lazy, since I picked up some IT skills as an undergraduate, upon completion of youth service, after scouting for jobs with none forthcoming, I braved up as a man and invested in one of my skills - graphics, design and printing.

While I digress a bit to let you know I was nominated for a scholarship which was later hijacked by the politicians, needful to say I was invited to the embassy and because I had the highest score as far as applicants in this country are concerned. The visa officer already told me to start making plans for travelling and all but that was the end. I still have papers to back this up ..to the thomases...

While I still beat further around the bush, I made it to the last stage of a major oil company recruitment process, you know the stage when you'd only be called for a chit chat, yes I made it to that stage but I noticed most of the guys who made it to the stage with me are familiar with big guns in that facility where the recruitment process took place, well you can guess the end

Back on track, I didn't digress to make myself look good, I only did that to let you know that sometimes it's not about how good you are. I believe there are millions of people on this forum who need one help or the other and I believe there are also people Who can help with that thing at the tap of their fingers. Yes, I mean the help that's about taking your life is at the tip of some people's hands...

How do I know?
I was at my press someday and guessed who passed by? A corper obviously crying and talking to himself. Wow, I was like nigga, you a man and don't need this, what could be your plight?

He took his time and explained all but the crux of d matter is he needs redeployment back to Ibadan as failure to do so means death for his ailing mum. Well, mesef na street and knows no one, even I served in Nasarawa. Meanwhile, I collected his mobile and he left. Later that night I remembered I met someone during youth service who is now a LGI. I put a call through and the rest was success. I am happy I made a family happy, what a fulfillment for me.

this is not a thread to ask, it's a thread to pin point what ever service you can render for free and name the number of slots available. Whatever you can't do, please don't mention and don't be gender biased.

At least our politicians can't help us, even this immigration recruitment process, I heard the king and lawmakers in my state Don pieces d slots. It's high time we helped each other without the feeling of getting something back.

As I lead by example, the first two pms will receive

1. Free branding of their SME
2. 500 fliers
3. 100 business cards
Only smes ooooo

selection will be based on proximity to my state and timestamp.





and for lalasticlala, If you have a snake you ain't using atm, please loan him


now what can you do for at least a Nigerian?

For the residents and commuters along sawmill-loyola college axis, the popular bridge around there has been flooded as usual. This has obstructed several daily routines and businesses as students and workers are afraid to walk 'on these waters'.

Find below pictures from this horrible event.

And please, to those close to the government, this is another eye opener.. Thank you.

I am daewoorazer, reporting for NL news

NothingDoMe:
Ha! No oh.

Happy Father's Day all!

It's been all about fathers today but then there is this question I have always ruminated upon. I am not a Muslim but I am not limited to words of wisdom or preachings from other religions/beliefs so far it adds value to me.

A popular Islamic cleric was teaching about the first gift a father gives his son/daughter. He said its not until you give birth to your kids that you start gifting them, rather it starts from your very choice of woman..... Of course, the very day a man woos his life partner.






Now the question is- As a young man, would I marry my mum (d younger version).

As for me, I thank my dad even though him stingy no be small, but the gift he gave me is invaluable and that's my mum. So yeah, I'd marry a girl like my mum.......

Let see through the eyes of our dads, oya wats ya opinion?