₦airaland Forum

Can anyone one on this forum please explain in clear terms ' the trinity' to me?

I have not met any xtians who can explain it to me without getting confused themself along the way.

Ajia23,

no mind them jaare. All the misunderstanding stems from the ignorance of not understanding Islam. How many Xtians have u met that have read the Koran. Less than a Handful.

And then like what one of them said, she reads their Bible like a story book - 'folklore' to quote her. Can u imagine!!!! 

TayoD et all, Please address the issues at hand.

emmie4j,

please be civil and contribute positively to the discussion otherwise stay out.

If u guys noticed, Zidane was already walking away and even gave a slight smile before the Italian muttered something that made Zidane turn around and give him what he deserved!!!

Articles from the worlds newspaper as to what led Zidane to head butt that italian. I don't blame him tho, he is human afterall.


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=395046&in_page_id=1770

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,28783-2263995,00.html

Toym28, good to see u back on. where have u been? R u really in York? Was going to attend the university there u know. Hear its all farm land and manure smell in York. True?

I am missing the laffs of ToyM28. Sorry i havent written any jokes lately i guess thats why your absence?

Did someone say david beddingfield was american? i thot i read foreign.

THE WORD GOOD IS A RELATIVE STATEMENT.

LIKE SEUN SAID, 'CUSTOMISED' TO PARTICULAR TASTES. I HAVE MET ALOT OF PEOPLE OUTSIDE NIGERIA WHO PARTICULARLY LOVE FELA AND THEM THEM ON ONE HAND AND ON THE OTHER DO NOT LIKE SOME OF THEIR OWN LOCAL MUSICIANS.

I PARTICULARLY THINK IT SOLELY DEPENDS ON WHO THE LISTENER IS.

LIKE SOMEONE SAID, 'HE LIKES FUJI ETC' AND SOME OTHERS MIGHT HATE FUJI BUT LISTEN TO THE LIKES OF 2FACE, P-SQUARE, KUSH ETC.

MY 2KOBO

i DONT THINK U UNDERSTAND HER POINT. WARREN DID NOT START VALUE INVESTING ON HIS OWN, HE LEARNT FROM SOMEONE. SIMPLY!!

Kazey,

Are u concuring with Lcharms point?

Kazey,

thank you for the clarification. To help answer the question u threw to Lcharm, and since I am in the finance field , check out warren buffet (Richest man in the world - timesonline 2006) who learnt the tricks of his trade from benjamin graham.

kazey, correcct me if i am wrong but ithink u were making a statement and did not really suggest much. And i quote -

What you forget to try to understand is
1. How much time, Seun has invested into Nairaland.
2. How much money, Seun has invested into Nairaland.
3. How much reading and research, Seun has been doing, to reach this level of achievement.
4. What ups and downs, Seun has undergone, to reach this level.

And much more, and to be honest with you, I have not seen any other Nigerian yet, ready to learn by researching on their own and just asking one direct question or the other. Rather they want HOW TO MAKE IT QUICK 101 type of business,

.

Who told u I am not aware of the ups and downs that Seun may have gone thru. If u read the quota from Lcharm, she says,

many many millions of millionaires are successful not because they learnt, researched and read on their own but because they read other peoples successes and then made it work for them

Kazey,

I appreciate ur contribution. However, I never mentioned that I was not ready to work hard or even do any form of research. Just quick tips to eable me have a platform.

If everyone was to go and sit down and do research on every topic that already exists we would be wasting alot of precious time which could have been spent on improving these already existing ideas. Even the Japanese, after the 2nd world war 'stole' technological ideas from the americans and improved on them.

By the way, I dont see Seun complaining that I am trying to tap ideas from him. If he is offended by my questions I beleive he can speak for himself.

Nevertheless, ur contribution is highly appreciated.

Seun thanks,

but can u please expansiate on the methods of making money from what u have listed? And do u make money from this forum?

What about the google thingy that u guys discussed about on one of the threads. How does that work?

Hi,

to all the web gurus in Nairaland, can any one please tell me how to make money from web forums like Nairaland.

Any ideas will be highly appreciated.

Seun, Please make sure u contribute!!!!

My People,

Its no fault of the Ibos if they control the Nigerian movie market. I guess their bizness acumen has helped them control the market and I believe they are more adventurous.

And like alot of people have said, who cares who controls it. If the Hausas, yorubas or for that matter any other tribe feel the pinch about the market, they should do something about it.

So long as a  movie is good, I believe thats what realy matters.

Jaguda,

1st of all, I found it quite an unusual and funny joke, i guess because i have not seen it before.

And for DM's information, not everybody has the time, like urself, to go thru all the threads to know what has been posted or not, on this site.

2ndly, I think I agree with u Jaguda, regarding DM.

Please DM, if u dont have anything positive to say, pls dont say anything.

Because as the saying goes ' it is better to keep ur mouth shut and let people think u r a fool than open it and remove all doubt'!! No offence meant.

Thank you.

hot-angel - Tabbed Browsers have been around for a while. Heard of Avant? www.avantbrowser.com. Fast and very convinient to use. Try it.

All the good soldiers were leaving for the war.

One Corporal told his best friend - "My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt to use should I not return from the war."

The company of soldiers were only a mile or so out of town when they noticed a cloud of dust approaching.

Thinking it might be an important message from the town the column halted.

A car approached and it was the soldiers best friend.
My friend - "you gave me the wrong key!!"

A flight from London to Kano develops faults in Nigerian airspace.
Very worried the captain calls the Aminu Kano airport.
"Aminu kano airport this is captain smith reporting flight 007"
"Do you copy?"
Kano tower; - "yes Alhaji Smith we kofi"
British Airways "Flight 007 Reporting technical faults"
Kano tower; - "kai haba!"
British Airways; - "sorry tower couldnt get that"
Kano tower; - "okay plight 00Seben kan you tune fawa in injin?"
British Airways; - "Negative power in engines dead"
Kano tower;- "Walahi?"
British Airways; - "Negative didnt copy"
Kano Tower;- "Kan u kom down to altitude twenty thousand pit?"
British Airways; - "negative tower, wings wont respond"
Kano tower; - "kai!"
British Airways; - "negative didnt copy that tower"
Kano Tower; - "okay d flane will kom down in som tym due to low injin =
fawa, ofun yo taya at altidute sis thousan fit, due 1st sebenty digri"
British Airways; - "Negative, cant activate the landing gear"
Kano tower;- 'wayyo!'
British Airways; - "awaiting order, flight 007"
Kano Towers;- "okay refit apta me"
British Airways; - "okay what?"
Kano Tower; - "ASHADU ANLA ILAHA ILLALAHU, WA ASHADU ANNA MUHAMMADAN RASULULLAHI! (Prayer for the dead!)

Zahymaka (m)
it was loaded from a a new topic i posted. no offence taken!!!

Friends mean different things to different people. However, from my point of view, YOU should have friends that positively influence u and you could also have friends for different occassions. Thats what i have. But I do keep the most positive of friends closest to me. i.e My Wifey!!

My 2 kobos

A young wife, who was becoming frustrated with her young husbands constant demands for sex, decides to make a schedule for him, to cut down on the amount of times that they will have to make love for the rest of their marriage.

While getting ready for work, she writes on a piece of paper, "Honey, you know I love you, but your never ending requests for sex are leaving me drained and really tired. So I propose that we only have sex on days that start with the letter T, to minimise the frequency of our lovemaking sessions. Dont be mad at me honey, just understand where I am coming from, and let me know if my request is too demanding of you."

On her way out the door, she uses a refrigerator magnet and sticks the note to the fridge door, hoping that her sex craved husband will be understanding and accepting of her proposal when he reads it.

Upon returning home, she glances at the refrigerator and notices that her note has been replaced with a note from her husband that reads, "Baby, I didnt realise that I was putting you under so much pressure and Im sorry.

I accept your proposal and have even taken the extra step of listing at the bottom of this letter, those days starting with the letter T to make sure that we are on the same page.

1. TUESDAY

2. THURSDAY

3. TODAY

4. TOMORROW

P.S. I love you too, and remember its still TODAY, I am waiting for you upstairs."

Applying for a Job at the CIA

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and theres a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to two men and a woman, but only one position was available.

The day came for the final test to see which peson would get the extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow our instructions whatever the circumstances," they explained. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The man looked horrified and said, "You cant be serious! I could never shoot my wife!" "Well," said the CIA man, "youre definitely not the right man for this job then."

So they brought the second man to the same door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances," they explained to the second man. "Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The second man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes; then the door opened. The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes. "I tried to shoot her; I just couldnt pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess Im not the right man for the job."

"No," the CIA man replied, "You dont have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Now they only had the woman left to test. They led her to the same door to the same room and handed her the same gun. "We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances; this is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him." The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start firing, one shot after another for 13 shots. Then all hell broke loose in the room. They heard screaming, rashing, and banging on the walls. This went on for several minutes; then all went quiet.

The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didnt tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat the son of a bitch to death with the chair!"

A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite.
As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride. He said, "Here, put these on."

She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.

"I cant wear your trousers." she said.

"Thats right, said the husband, "and dont you ever forget it. Im the man who wears the pants in this family."

With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on."

He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.

"Hell," he said. I cant get into your panties!"

She replied, "Thats right, and thats the way it is going to stay until your attitude changes."

Lawyers & Ladies, Pardon Moi!!!

A very successful female lawyer parked her brand-new Lexus in front of her office, ready to show it off to her colleagues. As she got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore the door off of the drivers side.

The lawyer immediately grabbed her cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up.
Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. Her Lexus, which she had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.

When the lawyer finally wound down from her ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.

"I cant believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you dont notice anything else."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, "Dont you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."

"Ahhh!" screamed the lawyer. "Wheres my Rolex!"

Hi Yah People,

Not sure if u have heard this before, but here goes.

Some cocky bloke was strolling along the street when a sweet sexy babe walks up to him and whispers in his ears- 'I THINK YOUR FLY IS UNDONE!!'

The bloke without flinching confidently replies - ' So, did u see my thoroughly waxed porche with alloy wheels?'

The girl quickly replies, 'No but i did see a battered beetle with two flat tires!!!!'

Rotweiler,

Thanx for the enlightenment.

Toym28,
my favourite reader.

Glad u enjoyed this one. I hail u back!!!

Rottweiller. May I ask how u know they are intelligent? Just a question.

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I’m a virgin and I don’t know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place ’the
prison’ and call my private thing ’the prisoner’. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

Hey Nairalanders

Gina Yashere as Mrs Omokorede from the Lenny Henry show.

For those of u who have high speed broadband, pls enjoy. My apologies to others.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s86HnJbp2qs