₦airaland Forum

carmelion: Gotchya!


Its called Zestra arousal oil for women.You can read more about it on
www.zestra.com

I got to know about it some years ago from a health and lifestyle magazine.
Heard its fire on its own.

I prefer personal experiences, How was it when you used it

Ihedinobi: LMAO.

Sure I get you. The first girl I ever slept with wasn't big on a lot of things. I thought it was great that she didn't "like" sex so much so I wouldn't fall into trouble. Believe me, when I say that at the rate we were going when we broke up we would be inventing whole new sex positions and creating a religiin out of it. Didn't like BJ, said she, but it didn't stop her from inventing ways to do it. LOL.

Bro, if a woman loves you, her libido will be just fine for you. She will be creative and inventive just for you. She'll find lingerie and intimacy gadgets you didn't know exist just for you. And if you love her, you'll become a professor of sex just for her. You'll learn how to make her go like a gawddamn locomotive! I do not accept extremes like BDSM as normal or even close-to-normal human sexxual behavior any.more than I accept homosexualism or necrophilia so those examples make not a whit of difference with me.

Again, bro, test-driving is utterly unnecessary.

But according to you, if you love a woman enough you should be open to anything she likes even if its BD-Sm, anall and anything extreme she likes

IMO the guy has a right to be frustrated like any virile man would but I want this relationship to work because I love this girls commitment and dedication to her man something thats rare nowadays. Girls like that who stick with their man thru thick and thin deserves the man

If both of you are not really ready for this I would suggest an abortion

At this stage its safe and less risk

Unless both of you can turn around to like the child

Ihedinobi: Excuse me but I can't help LOL. I read a novel recently with a character almost exactly like this here lady and I'm assuming all your "I think" and suppositions to be true. There's hardly anything surprising about a woman playing the perfect girlfriend or wife with what she considers the best man she can settle for.

Girls do this when they feel like the best guy, the love of their life got away and this here decent guy that they're not even attracted to is the best replacement they can find before it's too late (and too late means different things to different girls).

Well they started dating when she was 19 and was V-yansh

This guy wasnt actually anything like "best man" at that time, a recent migrant working at a dollar store, living with like 5 other friends, taking the metro

IMO what she did, thats the closest you can get to true love from most women these days

Efemena_xy: The last line of that quote was uttered on the premises that his wife was aware that he was playing around.

Dayo's confirmed that she didn't know - hence my suggestion that they book an appointment with a sex-therapist sharp-sharp.

When there's fire on the mountain, it pays to run. His marriage is a ticking time-bomb if his wife finds out what he's been up to. So they (he) best take steps to rectify it now before his indiscretions explode in his face. No woman will take such lightly from her man.

I dont know if she suspects anything At least he hasnt been caught. You know na lawyer work easy to do runs pass. Anyone can call you anytime even 3am (Its a client who just got arrested for DUI, beaten by her husband or had an accident), you can meet up with anyone anytime (client meeting)

carmelion: @dayokanu....I understand everybit of view about sexual compatibility.But alos know that change is a constant thing in life.
That one that you choose because she likes it exactly the way you like might just become the opposite after some years.

I have seen threads of men complaining avout the libido of their wife,especailly after childbirth.What will you now do in such scenario?

Like I said things change, presidents become beggars, Lions become kittens Ferraris packup and become worse than Volkwagen

But would you take your chance with a brother thats showing signs of lifelessness before wedding because he might also change post nuptial?

carmelion: They don't need a marriage counsellor.I think they need. A sex therapist or an expert.

The sex therapist to work on the lady's psyche and the expert to guide them through.

Men do take some aid to boost their sex drive.Women have theirs too.I heard their one oil like that(I have forgotten the name,if I remember I will let you know).its for women.All she needs to do is to apply it down there.

She will rape her husband that day,he will not even have strength for other women,that is if he does not faint

*let me see if I can get the name of that oil*

You know many ppl think going to a sex therapist is like you are already in the adult industry.

As per the oyel, This is getting interesting... Is it Olive Oyel crude or annointing

Ihedinobi: You leave us to assume that your friend did not test-drive his eventual wife. Are you sure that he did not?

Thats what he told me and If sex meant a lot to him the way it is why would he go ahead with the wedding?

Secondly, the above does not prove that test-driving is necessary because there are also examples of people who had strong sex lives with their partners before marriage but whose sex life degenerated after nuptials. You do know that, right? What good did test-driving do them?

Im sure we know some 1st class who ended up a conductor so we can say studying in school should be discouraged

Or someone who loves racing bought a Ferrari and it packed up in 3 months.

So if you love racing would you still rather buy a ferrari thats tested and trusted or just buy beetle since you know of a Ferrari last week that messed up despite good test run?

Ihedinobi: From those two examples, you define sexxual incompatibility as difference in libido. I'll grant that difference in libido is a substantial factor in sexxual relationship but I do not see at all how it is beyond a spouse's ability to handle as you appear to insinuate.

Lemme draw a scenario for you. I meet a girl. First thing draws me is her sexual beauty or attractiveness. I get close, I talk with her. We soon find we relax a lot with each other and are comfortable. Sexxual tension is present. I think a lot about getting sexxual with her. Soon we stealing kisses and fooling around but we try to keep our clothes on. Would I be surprised if the bedroom is a furnace after we get married?

Here's another one. Same situation except that she always pulls away from any remotely sexxual situation giving all kinds of reasons. She shrinks from every possibility of physical contact. Would I be surprised if the bedroom is a furnace after we get married?

Here's yet another. Same situation but clothes come off and we do a lot of silly things and go the nine yards. Would I be surprised if the bedroom turns frosty five years down the line?

Finally, is any of the three an impossible situation? Some people have a low sex drive. And it shows in their courtship behavior. There's a difference between hesitation and reluctance due to respect for moral standards and a complete absence of interest. It only takes a focus on the person rather than on immediate sexxual need to see it. Other people have a decent sex drive but even that is not enough to keep the bedroom blazing throughout the long years of marriage.

Here's what makes it work: two people who're crazy about each other. Doesn't matter if you're a sex maniac, when your marriage isn't doing too hot, your libido may take an early Christmas break. Libido is not the only thing, bro. If two people are physically attracted to each other, they'll be just fine in the bedroom. And physical attraction shows itself in subtle behaviors. In marriage, it waxes and wanes. If it starts out on the low, it can be fanned into flames. If it starts out high, it can fall into deep freeze. Thus test-driving makes not a damn difference.

You think ability to get aroused is the only thing? How about a man who gets aroused and is done in few seconds? or one who isnt keen on any form of pre-intimacy. Just bam thank you snore? This ppl still get excited like the normal ones only that they cant satisfy their partner.

Sexual appetite differ. Some are much crazier than others and dont pick whats beyond you An ex rated example: I used to know a girl yada yada she likes the violent rough ones verry kinkky stuffs cuffs, chains etc. She wants to be choked pull her hair rip her clothes off . And this sint Biafra war? Thats a bit too much for me.

Another one who one day when the front was busy offered back and said she actually likes the rear entry. I know my size. if I had stayed with those ones I wont have done those extreme things anyway, she wont be satisfied and thus infidelity is just around the corner


As we speak not every Nigerian woman is even open to beejayy. Some say it makes them feel base So do you force them or the husband do wthout while some can use the Mic very well

Efemena_xy: Biko, Dayo - this is really annoying!

That woman's done a lot for him...A LOT!! And this is how he repays her? No, it's a bitter pill to swallow. Abeg, advice your friend that he and his wife should go see a sex therapist and attend a couple of intensive classes! Those classes abound like no man's business.

He better quit being selfish before he loses her. I'm just so angry, I don't even know if I'm making sense right now...

I was one of her major advocate because I know very few women would do that for you.

They havent seen a sex therapist but in July they saw a marriage counsellor. they have taken 6 getaways in this yr alone from Florida to Niagara falls still na once in 2 months oo

While some ppl sit down in their one bedroom face me I face you without light or fan getting it like 8 times a week

Another one

MsJackson: no sensations pls help! why dnt i feel pleasurable sensations wen being kissed, caressed or made luv to? Wit ALL d men av been wit, same problem.Just starked numbness. Never ever felt it, even now dt am married. I was a virgin until my weddin nite, 3 wks ago. cud dt be reason? !I am 32 yrs old. I pretend to feel, so hubby wont feel like he is not doin well, but nw he suspects. WAT IS WRONG WIT ME?

On this family section alone I have quoted 3 posts in recent times, and given how African women dont like to even mention sex That shows many whom seem to be normal are actually suffering below

Efemena_xy: Spot on (again) Dayo.

My question is this: how does this woman, your friend's wife react to the knowledge that her man is 'getting it' outside because she's not upping her game? Does she even care about him? Does she love him at all? I think your friend needs to do some serious soul searching because we women are very emotional.

First sign every man should be aware of that there is something seriously wrong with his union, is when his wife / woman / girl switches off him to the point that infidelity rubbed in her face sparks no emotion or concern.

Re the bolded part of your post - men's sex.u@l activities decline with age, while it increases for women. Men peak in their twenties and gradually decline while women peak in their 40's.

Of course she doesnt know he is doing anything outside but we the friends know. And honestly only a few can really blame him. One of us now asked him point blank why did you marry a girl that wasnt giving you any to start with. He couldnt say to others that it was "No testing". Cos everyone would call him a fool. WHen they were dating the girl was an effiko, spiritual babe

I think the girl likes him but has a really low libido, She does a lot for him that only a woman who cares would. And I was one of those who encouraged him to marry her because of her excellent behavior which my friend acknowledges but my guy says WHAT OF THE SEX!!


Examples of what the girl did. When the guy just came to US and was working at a retail store earning minimum wage, this girl was already working corporate. When they are going out she would withdraw money give to the guy to pay and act like he owns the money.

This guy is an attorney when he was just starting his practice. This girl would go with him to all African and carribean clubs and share his cards even when it appears like you are hustling and everyone is forming. This girl has followed him to strip clubs to distribute his business cards(Ppl who get DUI going home from clubs) even to jails to distrbute biz card

WHen he wanted to take the New York bar. This girl paid from her own pocket for the guy to go for tutorials in NY even when the guy said he wanted to study alone because he had no money.

I think she really does but just seem she cant help herself with the sex part. This guy tells me Atimes when he brings it up and it becomes a heated argument. She would started crying(atimes thinking its because she is from a different culture he wants an excuse to go marry someone of his culture) and be like he should come do, But who wan do Pity sex?

When this guy laments you cant help but pity him

ibkgab001: As per lautech issue oga free that side. Evene if you win election there is nothing you can do about it ... Why is it that ogbomosho people has been so greedy in everything go and create your own State univerisity not Lautech Osun / oyo still owned the university

as per the LAUTECH issue, Akala is right, When states split the place where the varsity is physically located takes it away with them

ajasa4link: of course I know that,but the bottom line is they didn't win the premiership for almost 23years and 50years in the case of chelshit...

And the bottom line is also that Arsenal just like Hull City havent won the Champions league in the last 60yrs while Chelsea and Liverpool have

In our society when anyone is missing something sexual from marriage its a ticking time bomb thats waiting to explode. Its either divorce, cheating or simple frustration

I mentioned about my guy who now cheats to our knowledge and when we say Chairman how far with this behaviour now, He always respond that Its only those getting sex once in 2 months like him that should even dare condemn him. And when most of his friends think about it we too know inside us we cant cope with that regimen. He has tried everything, bought her books, gone for a getaway. Last week he voiced in anger that he is just travelling to all these places to sleep in hotel beds and still nothing dey happen for night. Without the sexual part you are almost like respctful flatmates

For women who the society is less forgiving to when they cheat what should they do? Just forget that aspect of their lives? Especially in our culture when women are not even allowed to talk about it too much else she be tagged a prostitute. One of the major reasons for getting married is to have sex regularly and this reduces with age, How do you now explain when a 60yr old couple are getting it more than a 30yr old warm blooded one?

Ihedinobi: About test-driving, it is morally wrong. For those who don't care about morality, I guess the questions are "What do you mean by sexxual compatibility?" and "Is that compatibility constant? Is it affected by any factors? If it is, would you leave the marriage when any of those factors show up?" I think it is manifest that men and women are ordinarily compatible sexxually. But various things affect sexxual relationship. As long as a couple develop working ways of handling those factors, the house will need insulating from the bedroom because of the heat. So test-driving is not necessary.

Sexual incompatibility is something like this

"my marriage is just 8 months old and am just not feeling it any longer
first of all, we didnt really court before marriage(no intimate meetings), although we've known each other for a year plus before marriage
after marriage, i found out that we are just so different
yes, he is all i wanted in a man, but our sex life is nothing to write home about
he was my first, but i know there is something about sex am missing
it's so bad now that i dont enjoy it any longer. he too is not a sex freak either
we can stay for a whole week without sex.

He is a good man though, but this was not what i bargained for.
still praying for a change."

or this

I am a 31 year old married woman wit a son less than a year,my marriage is almost 2 years. I noticed my husband don't really like making love from d 1st week of our marriage,he responded to my complaints by saying he's fratigued from d wedding stress.....but it has lingered until now, we barely have sex 2 times in a month,anytime I complain he will laugh and say it's because am a self employed woman and I have a lot of time to think about sex,so am so tired of complaining and feeling like a slut...but I feel so deprived,am a Christian,I can't ,cheat on him,sometimes I self-service just to get satisfied,but I always feel guilty and dirty afterwards, this is not a topic I can easily walk to anyone to discuss,am really frustrated,pls I need as many advice and ideas I can get........

Like you said if a variety of things affect sexual relationship why not take care of the ones within your control.

Its like saying variety of things can stop a car from working so why bother fix the ones I can see?

He does not bleach just that Fanta poured on him

Another

bossybom: I am a 31 year old married woman wit a son less than a year,my marriage is almost 2 years. I noticed my husband don't really like making love from d 1st week of our marriage,he responded to my complaints by saying he's fratigued from d wedding stress.....but it has lingered until now, we barely have sex 2 times in a month,anytime I complain he will laugh and say it's because am a self employed woman and I have a lot of time to think about sex,so am so tired of complaining and feeling like a slut...but I feel so deprived,am a Christian,I can't ,cheat on him,sometimes I masturbate just to get satisfied,but I always feel guilty and dirty afterwards, this is not a topic I can easily walk to anyone to discuss,am really frustrated,pls I need as many advice and ideas I can get........

pls in God's name,no insults....I just need candid advise....thanks.

ajasa4link: Alaye go siddon for one place jor...all these ur trophyless lines are getting boring jor. Did Chelshit fans kill themselves when they didn't win epl for 50years or Loserpool who last won epl before I was born, did they commit suicide? ...Abeg.. make una park well jor

They were winning other trophies in that time

Liverpool won the FA cup in 2006 and Charity shoeld in 2006 and Carling cup in 2012

yellowpawpaw: Getting deeper and deeper.
As for the no test driving, well, I think it depends on d couple involved. Some might want while others r comfortable without.
For u guys talking about bedroom compartibility, that's why we marry our lv, teach her stage by stage and u will be glad u did!
As for the vg slacking, lots of factors can make it slack too.

Dayo, u rnt een nothing yet. U can stay a month w'out sex for a whole lot of reasons like pregnancy and PPD. A bad and infected tear can also keep u away.
So in such cases, u will start chasing anything under d skirt?

YPP see below

zinnyy: Thanks Babymama for this great thread,
am actually going crazy bit by bit
my marriage is just 8 months old and am just not feeling it any longer
first of all, we didnt really court before marriage(no intimate meetings), although we've known each other for a year plus before marriage
after marriage, i found out that we are just so different
yes, he is all i wanted in a man, but our sex life is nothing to write home about
he was my first, but i know there is something about sex am missing
it's so bad now that i dont enjoy it any longer. he too is not a sex freak either
we can stay for a whole week without sex.

He is a good man though, but this was not what i bargained for.
still praying for a change.

Now you tell this woman this would be her lot for the next 50yrs because honestly I already see a potential for cheating here

When spouse is sick is a different thing because you know this is temporary but when at 25-30yrs within 1yr of marriage you already know you are condemned to a lifetime of 4 times a yr sex

Baby mama: Dayo,are you married?,engaged?

Married

If that bridge should fall where would Fashola drop the next set of deportees

bluuu: ^^^^6 months? they say plenty se.x makes d vayjayjay slack.how tru s dat

6 months o. Because after marriage that's when you see some ppl complain they don't know their husbands snores.

If you only go on dates its easy to put your best behavior on but when you live together that's when you know that the smell of that fine girls fart
If that's true then by the time you spend 10yrs in marriage coconut can drop from the vagina without friction

agbameta: You are wrong my friend. It's Aregbeshola's fault, he sent 150 thugs from Osun via Imo state to destroy the bridge so he's responsible.

lmao

Both of you are olodos. You want to say you didn't know its Tinubu carrying out the order of Awolowo.

Check our the similarity in altitude like musiwa says

They want to spoil the bridge do food won't get to biafra and they would commit another genocide because of envy and to claim our 99% of Lagos and abuja

bluuu: i av questions.wen s d right time to test drive in a relationship.wat if u test drive n 'd goods' s no longer bought? wat can/should b done

In my opinion. It depends on both of you but the moment you are exclusive to one another and you are thinking this is probably more than casual dating you need to start test driving. For me I even advocate you actually living together for like 6 months before the actual wedding.

Those sex you're hoarding in 2 months you would get tired of seeing each other's unclothedness sef. So if sex was the only thing you used in making him stay to marry you then you need to start thinking of what to make him stay for the next 50yrs

For me o. Any girl who says no sex abeg run unless she is under 22 and is still a novice. Forget wetin pastor dey yarn o. No be them go follow you live in the same house.

One of my friends who followed the no sex rule because the girl say so now calls me everytime to complain. He gets sex about once a month and everytime he brings it up the wife asks "Is it food"

Now no one can tell the guy not to cheat. If you tell him cheating is bad he would simply ask you if you get sex once a month also

coogar: even at 17, i wouldn't enter into a relationship without sëx. if a woman is not sex-ready, she should forget about dating overall. who has time for rubbish?

I can understand warning teenagers with the no sex rule cos they might not know the risks involved but after a certain age even your family would start suspecting you of not being complete

PocketEconomist: Well, if she doesn't like it, can't you just make that small sacrifice for the one you truly love?

No sir. I am totally against no testing.
That sacrifice might make one land with a sexually incompatible partner.

I can't do a sexless relationship so where would I be getting it from?

The no sex is for young ppl. Do you think a 35yr old meeting a 29yr woman cares about some romantic idea of no sex? That's for teenagers and ppl in their early 20s

Its when you're a teen that even your parents would be preaching no sex by the time you're 29 and still doing no sex even your mom would be worried if you're not gay.

Unless you want to give the guy a free pass to have sex with other women

Its amazing that retardeen can be more useless than obj.

That's a feat especially when I thought obj was the most useless president as at 2009

What was Nigeria debt when obj was there compared to Retardeen

How many politicians have been prosecuted for corruption during jonDaft regime

We own 98% of London lagos and new York we built theLondon bridge Eiffel tower and statue of liberty

These ppl are simply jealous of us

See Tinubu and Awolowo . The came and destroyed the 2nd Niger bridge and refuse to fix it back

Fresh air tinz