₦airaland Forum

pfadom:
Is NYSC now a professional certificate?

Are you now proud of the certificate that qualified you for NYSC? What manner of graduates do we have in our dear country?

God save Nigeria.

aylagos:
learn a trade ooo, like graphics design, digital marketing etc…

Mrshape:
Where is your location?
And how much do you consider as well paying job?

michoim:
Yes of course. You can surely get a job....

Rubyjade:
Yes, you can. What's your location?

jeromestarks:
NYSC is O'level now.

dre11:
https://dailytrust.com/nigerians-know-the-truth-peter-obi-replies-tinubu

Previous thread: https://www.nairaland.com/7274171/tinubu-obi-falsehood-disinformation-wont

doggedfighter:
It has absolutely nothing to do with the SUV or spiritual whatever.



It could be drugs or mental ilness before boys will come here and shout Yahoo whatever.


And blame girls.


She needs to be taken to a psychiatric hospital for mental evaluation not mocked .

Or left at the mercy of people with stone age reasoning.

Threesha:
I have been laid off once and fired once. And I also survived 2 mass layoffs.

None of those experiences felt good. When I was let go the first time, I panicked because I had no savings.

I spent 3 months unemployed.

The second time, I had savings and spent 5 months unemployed. But I survived both times and actually moved into better roles.

Today, I’m grateful that I had those experience even though I was devastated in those moments.

They pushed me to the next level in my career each time. To everyone being affected by layoffs, please take the time to breathe.

Evaluate what you really want out of your next opportunity.

And keep your head up.

Something better is coming!

Zchi1052:
Na mumu de commit suicide
When there's life , there'a better hope
As life sweet reach u de commit suicide to put your loved ones in sorrows and unexpected expenses

Anyways,my R.I.P done finish sef

Pious101:
Tell him to monetize his skill as a freelancer thru fiverr/ upwork. He could add business writing skill as well.... If he is good at what he does, trust me he would smile in d nearest future.

Amotolongbo:
Dear OP
My sincere condolence

Getting over the death of your mum is a choice.
That is, getting over your mum’s death is in your hands and no one else’s hands.
Definitely, it takes time to heal, but the time healing extent is a factor which you have the power to determine and influence. You may not heal if you decide living on the matter.

I know of a boy (last born like you) whose Mother died in 1999 when he was just 7years. Till today (at age 30) he hasn’t come off it and has no significant life achievement, now jumping from one prophet to another. Anytime I come across him, the song he sings often is “iku lo meja ka ko” (death is responsible for the fish bending), the death of his mother is responsible for his life predicaments.

There is one thing you have to bear in mind, nothing can be done to bring your mum back to life. But you have to move on with your life. Not getting over your mum’s death will surely make you stagnant in life and definitely death of your career and mental death. Your mum will never be happy seeing this if she has the opportunity to see how you are faring after her demise.

No one can help you to move on after losing your mum, they can only try. Brace up and move on to face the next challenges of life as a motherless man and not a motherless baby/boy at 29.

Amotolongbo:
Dear OP
My sincere condolence

Getting over the death of your mum is a choice.
That is, getting over your mum’s death is in your hands and no one else’s hands.
Definitely, it takes time to heal, but the time healing extent is a factor which you have the power to determine and influence. You may not heal if you decide living on the matter.

I know of a boy (last born like you) whose Mother died in 1999 when he was just 7years. Till today (at age 30) he hasn’t come off it and has no significant life achievement, now jumping from one prophet to another. Anytime I come across him, the song he sings often is “iku lo meja ka ko” (death is responsible for the fish bending), the death of his mother is responsible for his life predicaments.

There is one thing you have to bear in mind, nothing can be done to bring your mum back to life. But you have to move on with your life. Not getting over your mum’s death will surely make you stagnant in life and definitely death of your career and mental death. Your mum will never be happy seeing this if she has the opportunity to see how you are faring after her demise.

No one can help you to move on after losing your mum, they can only try. Brace up and move on to face the next challenges of life as a motherless man and not a motherless baby/boy at 29.

1F30M4:
Once again, I'm deeply sorry for your loss. You feel this way because amongst your siblings you were probably the one closest to her. You were there with her, you saw it all, I can tell you from experience that it's not something that will ever fade off from your memory, it won't. Movies/music/games won't do anything at this stage, those memories will keep coming back, even if your friends offer to take you out to make you feel better, it won't change much.

Only you truly know how you feel, try not to get pissed when people don't seem to understand. It is still very fresh, 1month will feel like just yesterday, it'll probably feel that way even in a few months time. Give yourself time to grieve Chris, to heal, to process it all, that is what I did. She sure knows that if there was anything you could do to avert death, you would have done that.

I was in school and it hit me sooo hard, I literally lost my mind, that was one of the four times I didn't care if I lived to see another day. My world caved in, I faced so many challenges, I struggled. I pray that God comforts you, may He grant you and your entire family the fortitude to bear this loss.

NLElder:
First of all don't be quick to judge me. I am just here for matured help/advice cos I am fast loosing it. I am sure if it's abroad I will to told to go meet a therapist.

I am a young man in my early 40s and married for 9 years now with 2 kids. My nature of work is such that I am living on another town 5hours away from my family. This has been the case 6years out of the 9 years I am married. I have never really enjoyed my marriage as a young man cos I am always driving up and down every weekend to meet my family and when I got a promotion with more responsibility I reduced it to every 2 weeks, and as the stress of work and driving became more stressful, I now go every month. I have tried all my best even till date to see if I can get another work in the same state my wife and kids reside to no avail and my wife can't leave her work in the state join me as she is in a federal government establishment that has no branch in the state I live and work.

The scenario so far shows you that I am not enjoying a healthy sex life with my wife, but being someone brought up to respect the marriage institution, I have resigned to my fate and taken life as I have seen it. To make matters worse, with due respect to my wife, she suffered female genital mutilation and you know it affects women's sex life and their man is always worse off for it. In summary we lead a routine boring sex life in the few occasions we even get to have it. However, the 6 years I have lived and worked in another state, I have never cheated or thought of cheating on her despite all the cold lonely nights I have to spend alone. I am a kind of introvert and never hide it from people that I am married. Some will be like "u no get side chick"? I will say no.

The problem started 4 years earlier out of the 6years in the city I live and work. Since I am always lonely and bored in my crib, I mostly do video calls with my wife and kids daily or chat online with friends to keep my mind busy and avoid unnecessary tensions that will remind me of the lonely boring life I was living. This also keeps me away from sexual urges if I feel any as a fool-blooded young man I was. It was in one of these online chats that I got close to one young lady of about 30. We really got close through chatting and graduated to exchanging numbers. I always make it known that I was married to everyone I meet and she was no exception. We became best friends online and kept our limits as married man and a single lady would. We became curious and excited to meet each other live when we found out we were in same city.

We arranged a harmless date in a restaurant in town were we really got to know more about each other. I found out that she was a struggling young girl teaching in a private school with NCE and was unable to proceed to degree level due to lack of funds. Her salary wasn't even up to 18k and she was squatting with one lady in very uncomfortable circumstances. After that 1st live meeting, a very good friendship ensued but entirely platonic .

All these past 4 years before I met her, I cook for myself and go to market by myself. One Friday she called and I did not immediately pick cos I was in the kitchen. I called her back later and told her I was cooking and she jokingly asked if she could help. As at then she was yet to come to my place, so I told her if she really wanted to help then I would come and pick her up and that was how for the first time in 4 years, a lady visited me in that town. It felt awkward. It did not take long for me to find out how homely she was...washed plates, tidied everywhere, and finished up the cooking. I really felt at peace and started getting worried at the same time. We spent time chatting but kept our distance and nothing happened between us and I dropped her off later where she was squatting.

After that, our friendship went to another level and the visits became more frequent but still nothing happened between us. I got to know she was a well brought up lady that still had values and I also confirmed she had no man as at the time she met me. She said she had always wished to be married before now and never believed she would reach 30 and still be single.

I know my story is getting rather long, so let me try to wrap up. In summary, she started having issues with the family she was squatting with and didn't have enough money to rent a place of her own. I didn't have enough to rent for her either as I was already carrying a lot of financial responsibilities for her by then...monthly stipend of ₦10k to add to her salary, tolletries, making hairs and even helping out with her sick mum hospital bills.

So without a 2nd thought, both of us decided she move into my place. Inside me I knew it was somehow but I think by then we were already in love with each but maybe living in denial.

So she moved in and that was it. Yes, we started having sex, uncomfortably at 1st but later became 2 sex maniacs. It was as if she was sent to compensate me for my horrible marriage sex experience I have endured all these years. We couldn't have enough of each other. In fact when I want to travel and see my family, she breaks down crying. I knew it was more than a side chick matter. In fact this lady gave me a fulfilled sex life that I swear if it's in the olden days I wouldn't mind taking her as a 2nd wife. Months grew into years and our passion for each other grew to the point that we got jealous of the opposite sex calling us. She even starts frowning when my wife calls or tears will start running down her eyes. People, I became so confused. We both knew we have gone too far and yet were not ready to end it.

I even because part of her own family cos I go with her to see her sick mum and played a prominent role when she died. I don't know her older siblings knew if I was married or not , but I think she confided in her older sister who seemed to like me so much and only warned her to be "careful."

After 2 years, she started agitating about marriage so much that she said she needed to move out of my place. That as long as she is with me, she might not get married since it's obvious I wasn't going to marry her no matter how much both of us pretended about it. Deep inside me I knew she was right and I couldn't be selfish to keep her from meeting single suitors but I felt an inexplicable pain in my heart as if a part of me was about to be cut off. However, I forced myself to assist her to get a place and yet she on her own kept coming to my place every weekend until she moved in again leaving her place wasting for over 2 months., only going there once in a while to pick things..

All the 2 years we were together she was open and truthful to me about relationships she was now trying to build with single guys she hoped would marry her. I was already feeling bad inside me that she was about to leave my life, but she kept assuring me that she was with me and truly told me everything happeneing in the new relationship she was building.

She later moved out completely from my place after 2years on a new year day. She said needed to start the year on a good and clean note and had gotten serious with the guy that said he wants to marry her. I began to feel extreme jealous I couldn't explain. I knew it was not right but I couldn't stop myself. I tried my best and stopped calling or chatting with her but I still didn't find peace. One evening a month after when it was now clear that she has decided to get serious with the guy she said was coming for marriage, she visited me and and you can't believe it, we made hot passionate love. And when we were lying side by side, her new man called and she quickly ran into the toilet to answer him. I felt it was time I ended this whole thing, it wasn't looking right again.

So I confronted her why she was still leading me on when she is now in a marriage -bound relationship and she said because she still loves me and doesn't know how to let go of me. We cried together that it wiould be tough as we would soon separate from each other for life and she left. I cried like a baby as we made love again and she consoling me to try and teach my wife the things she does to me despite her FGM predicament.

The period she was with me, she was uncomfortable answering calls from her man and I got fed up and decided to investigate. So I went to the street where she showed me the guy lives(she was truly open to me and I give her that) and waited to see if she has started visiting him as she mostly denies and lo and behold, I saw her entering the guy's house. I felt a sharp pang of jealousy which I couldn't control. I picked up my phone after some minutes and started calling her, but her phone rang severally and she didn't pick. I was almost half-dead with jealousy. I cried iny heart and drove away. I sent her a text that because she was "enjoying" herself with her man she was now avoiding my calls. That maybe tbe guy was so good at it. She called about 2 hours later and really took offence that because she visited him and did not pick my call was simply because she doesn't want him to start asking questions and not necessarily that they were doing anything.

We quarrelled like never before and said hurtful things to each other and I asked her to return my key at my office the next day cos by then she no longer visited my house as she has really gotten serious with the guy. She returned the key and for over 2 months we stopped communicating and became strangers.

Instead of pushing her out my mind, I felt a daily torture looking through her Facebook pics, WhatsApp status, and other social media. I will go to her guy's street and painfully watch her enter his house from afar. I was fast losing my mind. I knew it was over for good and don't want her back but the obsession is yet to leave me till date. Everyday, I check her pictures and feels pangs of pain and jealousy as I see her lovely smiles. My people it's punishment and torture for me. I keep obsessing every second of my life about her. Who can help me? Something is definitely wrong. In one of her recent status, I saw her flaunt her hands with an engagement ring and I felt a sharp pang of sadness instead of happiness. People help me I am loosing it. Even though she has apologized to me and I too have apologized for the hurtful things we said in the course of our quarrel, my mind is still not at peace.

Even now presently she is engaged she still calls me and tries to engage me in friendly conversations but I will just be answering without interest. She even sent me a pic recently at a wedding she went to and I told her she should stop sending me her pics but should be sending to her man. She apologized and said she has taken note. Yet, I will feel bad inside me if I don't see her friendly chats which my attitude has made her reduce. Yet in all these, first thing in the morning I will quickly rush to check her pics, if she has made new posts, etc etc. I need help, I really do. Sorry my people for the long post but I really needed to empty myself to see the help I can get if any cos I want my normal sane life back. I have also prayed to God and asked for forgiveness for cheating on my wife ....I have no excuses for doing so but from the long story you can see it was never my intention.

cjeriia:
I have a great macbook pro 2010 for that price. Good ba3. Core i5, 4gig ram.

advanceDNA:
u no sabi woman way...
you want date student wey her parents no get money and she no dey financially stable, yet you say you no wan pay school fees.... are sure you are nigerian??

Favfables1:
Chief OP....
There's nothing wrong in dating an undergraduate, but in this your case, seems like this girl wants you to play an integral/financial part in her schooling, which I am STRONGLY AGAINST ...

Never sponsor a girl who is not family and who you're not married to, NEVER! ((Contextually speaking))....

If youre serious with her and you really want to send her to school, marry her first! I've seen too many stories of ladies dumping their sponsors immediately after graduation on the premise that "I no longer lover him, he's not my type" ...

If they refuse, allow their parents sponsor them!!

Boogyman557:
Holly Gram graduate or no graduate, undergraduate or no undergraduate!


My BLODA! Na MONEY be the KOKO!


Ask E money and obi cubana...


Naso my nigg... One person no fit prejure me arbeg..na even the relationship be my ownz wetinf concern me concern finances


LITE UP my WEED in peace


WTF MAN!

Animegirl:
See question

Like some of you date secondary school girls even as graduate, with or without responsibilities.

Op Dear. It's her choice to further her education let her be. Sha, quickly tell if you don't have the capacity to support her financially. I personally don't want you to come and give us epistles stating why Nigerian girls are useless.

yuping:
growth is all that matter, as long as she is willing to grow no problem. No body want marry consumer you need to be productive. Mind your bussiness, let her trade her part, trade yours.

advanceDNA:
she's using style to tell you she wants to go to school from your pocket...

oga....bankrolling a student is a risk...
most times it doesn't end well...u will be work in your áss out sending money to her while her mate will be offing pant for free....

that said ..i ddnt say u should not help..just do it for humanity if u must do it...