₦airaland Forum

Watching Nigeria's parliamentary sessions is like watching a public primary school's classroom at break time. It's a picture of absolute bedlam; delinquent adults jumping seats, throwing paper missiles, poking each other in the ribs, laughing, joking, singing and passing candies and biscuits around while the class teacher wakes up once in a while to shout 'ORDER!' Mike Asukwo

With those words above I take this week's admonition. I want like never before that this is seen from that perspective--an 'admonition'.

Its 13 years of our democratic adventure. I will spare us the agony and tutorial of how many arms of government make for our democracy. I will not take us to the theatre of absurd of how much legislators earn in the Nigerian National Assembly. After all its a nation where her citizens say--of fuel, "let us see it no matter the cost". Of electricity--"we pay without seeing it". And long ago a certain leader said--"its not about the money but how to spend it..."

So by all means let them earn a few billions according to Hon. Tambuwal of the trillions available, they get just barely 150 billin and after all the executive has trillions to play with...Precisely 4.5trillion, don't mind bad bellies like Sanusi the emir and CBN governor.

So what really is my grouse with the Nigerian National Assembly. An assembly whose high point remains the aborting of the 'famed' third term, which is still a study in 'na lie, na true' in Nigerian democratic history.

Today we have a conglomeration of honourables, effc-wanted men, wives of that person, former and ex-this and that. It is a pot pouri of all kinds. Some that speak all the time reminding you of the village headmaster and those that are speech/contribution challenged. Others have a perpetual absence scorecard.

Tell me about that term 'anticipatory budget'. Spending in anticipation and you know what body I am talking of. Tell me about the origins of 'furniture allowance' and show me that house that stolen/bribe money is displayed on its floor and after abracadabra the money disappears, we might be on the same page, it is the house of bribe for budget...

That they have fought on the floor is not peculiar. The British parliament can be clownish in its fight on the floor. And you can view boxing matches in some east European and Asian nations during parliamentary session.

It is the house that had a white wearing head of the lower chamber accused and its first female head also an accused, it produced a new dictionary called Patrick, others were know more by their clothings. 

The Nigerian National Assembly is so favoured by law that it spends more time on recess than working. When they are working, they are more of the time fighting its sharing counterpart the executive over the budget and sundry matters.

It has committees on everything including possibly committee on aminal hides and skin which is why it argued 'eating pomo (cow skin)' on the floor. They love money so much they debated 'gratification and termed it traditional 'thank you'. 

They are more concerned about caucuses along ethno-religious and party lines yet they represent a largely heterogeneous nation. The Nigerian National Assembly has not done better than the executive on Boko Haram or unemployment rather they have developed expertise in motions to congratulate, condemn and praise.

Along with the executive arm, boast as the only body not to have been owed or gone on industrial strike. The Nigerian National Assembly is equally and largely home to 'abuja politicians' clashing with those in their locales in our very faulty feeding bottle federalism.

It is a building where most governors want to go, at the last count 11 two term governors want to go there, while several legislators want to go and be governors...turn by turn, chop by chop arrangement.

What really does the National Assembly do for Nigerians, how much in terms of value do they add to the polity, is it not true that with their respective state houses of assembly, they are simply collaborators in state lootocracy.

We have not asked that government arms be at loggerheads. But the National Assembly needs to up the ante, individual legislators whether Representative or Senator, the appellage honourable and distinguished need to be earned and earned the hard way.

Like most government institutions, the National Assembly is the milk cow, an enterprise for the few. You go there to pick your part of the national cake baked by no one.

Nigerians need to be tired, and fatigued of seeing development in the hands of few--ever seen a single group of persons with several aides, all kinds of allowances, choice properties, with running water, standby power generator, with kids enjoying quality education and best of healthcare--they are members of that elite house call lower and upper chambers.

As Mike puts it, the Nigerian National Assembly 'kids' need to know we will not continue watching Nigeria's parliamentary sessions, like watching a public primary school's classroom at break time. After 13 years, the picture of absolute bedlam; delinquent adults jumping seats, throwing paper missiles, poking each other in the ribs, laughing, joking, singing and passing candies and biscuits around while the class teacher wakes up once in a while to shout 'ORDER!' must stop or at least reduce drastically.

The era of a principal, teacher and class monitor with soaked nose-running kids around need to end quickly. People with character, guts need to start the question and answer session regarding the issues that plague Nigeria. If one exposes one's anus to view, people will fill it with hot water. (If one exposes one's vulnerability to people, one will be done in.) Nigerians really don't believe in the National Assembly, we have seen their anus--redemption is needed, it will go a long way in dealing with a recalcitrant system but does a goat eat bone and do dogs eat grass, only time will tell.

Prince Charles Dickson
http://huhuonline.com/index.php/gc/1302-the-playground-called-national-assembly

searchcorp: mehn, the fact that Goodluck Jonathan attended that launch means he has my vote for 2013, i tell u, i am so voting that man!

This is the kind of brain that I don't like to come across their comment. You just remind me again of how backward thinking an average Nigerian thinks and why we have refused to develop. Chai! So sad

Meanwhile are you organising an election 2013 for your badluck jolastan?

@ Adefarasin, nice church you got there.

vanstanzy: Most Nigerian politicians are all one, and the same criminals (Sorry to say) . But some are even much more better than the others. People like Fashola, Rochas, Oshobaba, Pat Utomi. The only one i can think of from the North is Ribadu.

If any of those progressive minded people u just mentioned contests in 2015, will you vote for them despite the mass stupidity that pervades the mind of an average Nigerian who will rather vote the failure called badluck Jonathan in the name of the popular and the most stupid phrase I've ever heard any human race express publicly in an elections: "I don't want to 'waste' my vote"?

I never voted Jonathan the last time because I realized quickly in his 1st 6months as acting president that he was an imebcile. Had to make a quick U-turn to vote the combination of Buhari/Bakare. This time around ain't decided to vote until I measure manifestoes of sensible people.

If this is true then Jolata is about to break another record yet again for the award of the king of stupidity in high places. Funding terrorism? They will just equip themselves the more and will never stop the attack.

In the past I used to believe certain things are not possible in Nigeria until we got the "daftest" president any human generation could imagine. As much as my brain finds it difficult to comprehend my second thought says GEJ could be this stupid and he's equally surrounded by "literate-ignoramus" too

Nobody is above mistake and it is honorable that they apologized.
I pity the staff that made the grave mistake sha? The kind of online feedback here can
finish him even if the company initially plans to pity him before.

There is definitely some truth in this revelation. Maybe not all because humans will be humans but definitely a lot to be considered from this.

Even if everything was a lie, were those quotes from the Quran false too? That one is born into a religion does not mean one should not seek to know the truth about the religion or open ones mind to seek the real truth. I mean what if you are not born a muslim?

There is definitely some truth in this revelation. Maybe not all because humans will be humans but definitely a lot to be considered from this.

Even if everything was a lie, were those quotes from the Quran false too? That one is born into a religion does not mean one should not seek to know the truth about the religion or open ones mind to seek the real truth. I mean what if you are not born a muslim?

Have we become so comfortable with corruption that majority of ordinary people commenting on this issue are not even talking about what next a sane society should do after such impeachment? We should be talking about when is he going to be jailed rather I see people trying to indirectly defend a corrupt man that he is a "victim" because he was not professionally corrupt enough?

Is it now this bad? This does not potend any hope cause the average person seems to having a thieving mentality. I thank God for my brain o. pheeew!

[quote author=kayci_d77]nOOOOO, these players are setting us back, cant you see the Bad luck Obafemi brought us agianst Kenya [/quote]Idiotic post drives me really nut
You don't have to comment all the time you get? That is how much nice I could be with you in the name of being entitled to your 'opinion'

I will be interested to know what value this lady is adding to our world. I sincerely would like to know please somebody educate me?

...But the woman insulted our women sha?I don't blame her I blame those who brought a lady that stands for nothing in my book.

league11: WHO IS THAT EDITOR INSULTING NIGERIAN HERO LIKE THIS, IT HAS NOT COME TO THIS POINT THOUGH I DONT KNOW D ORIGIN OF D DISCUSSION, BUT ALL I CAN SEE HERE IS INSULT TO OZAZE. FOR GOD'S SAKE THIS GUY HAS MADE A LOT OF SACRIFICES PLAYING FOR TO THIS COUNTRY, THAT HE'S HAVING PROBLEM WITH SOME PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE REASON EVERYBODY SHOULD TALK DOWN ON HIM LIKE THIS. D PRESS SHOULD ENCOURAGE HIM OR RATHER KEEP QUITE IF THEY DONT KNOW WHAT TO WRITE. I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED AT THIS EDITOR

Why don't you encourage ur Osaze to grow up. At the age of 30 the iidiot is still whinning like a todller. The you should buy him the book; "TALENT IS NOT ENOUGH by John C Maxwell" to read

voiceofdelta: Jonathan is not as bad as any other president Nigeria has ever produced but for the purpose of peace, I would advice that he drops his aspirations www.voiceofdelta.com

Jonathan or jolatan is by far the "worstest" thing that happened to Africa. A disgrace to reasoning of the office he occupies. A misfit lucky son-of a gun.
Its a shame that to a lot of you guys from the Delta, it doesn't matter if the worst thing of a president comes from you as long as he is your "son". Forward thinkers will not care if the region that a president comes from as long as he is the right person for the job; they put excellence above sentiment but the story of most people from your region is that of mediocrity and even among the so-called few learned ones among you.

The only thing I see is the result of same second marriage.

sheyie2007: They probably paid an incompetent low life to develop the site... probably 20million...

You read my mind. All was an avenue to make money as they put up a figure head website. If website was that easy to hack there are more profiting websites that hackers will be interested in.

inufele2: so sad your comprehension skills is abysmally poor, you can't understand simple sarcasm? Too bad!

Sorry my tolerance level for mediocrity is zero. I could hardly comprehend reading the next paragraph of a seemingly mediocre comment. Also I don't have that luxury of time.

I am happy that I did not waste my vote on him in 2015 and I still will NEVER waste my vote on any PDP candidate. People that vote them throw their votes inside the gutter because each time they do they have voted mediocrity at its highest degree, corruption, cluelessness, stupidity of the highest order and the greatest disgrace to a nation with so many brilliant people within

oyb: Enters rossik/sincerengerian/lastpope mode -

Who is bill gates sef . He is just a huckster.he made his money selling a rubbish OS. We don't need his peanuts. Who does he think he is. We can get donations from steve jobs whose company is far more successful.


Exits sycophant mode

Good luck to those poor sods in benue. Your hiv treatments are now fully in the hands of the thieves at the top

I've read many idiotic responses on Nairaland in the past, this one is a top-draw. It is the oga patapata at the top of all idiotic comments. Chei!

Inik: Fani kayode is a careless talker, you have no right to insult someone just because you disagree with his views

In Yoruba land even a son gets insulted when he puts up a bastard behaviour. Since Abati is a bastard he can't be spared. Sorry.

At Fani K, that was a good one. Chei!

[quote author=black_beau]I believe this is another lie by sahara reporters. PDP can never be this stupid.jeez,that sounds like something my 5yr old brother would do. Even if they did,they would never admit it. Pls,this is definitely masterminded by the very APC officials crying foul[/quote]PDP has done worst. Why can't they do this? What could be worst than giving state pardon to a man that represents National disgrace? A party that produce such a fooolish being can be stupid enough to make silly mistake. Na today we know say we have the most idiotic people @ the aim of affairs in naija?

See Nigerians posting comments as if they will not be idiotic enough to vote pdp back into power again 2015. This is still a nation of short memory people and 2015 will prove me right. Most annoying is that Stewpid statement even from the so caled learned ones saying; "I voted pdp because I did not want to waste my vote" how more can a human being waste vote if it goes to pdp?

Shame on every one that voted Jonathan even after realizing from his acting president period that he is the biggest clueless being holding power in Nigeria.

jeron1: Yeah...i concur with rugged man...dos guys Where highly unprofessional...

I should guess that CNN's Amapour is also guilty then. Maybe she's also unprofessional too cause she will not relent on you until you answer her. SMH. Mtscheeew!

Wetin she get to perform? (What does she have to perform?)
Chei! Music done suffer

I was there and I saw him live and direct. He looked smart, sharp and trendy. D tv shot did not do justice... Its either d tv is bad or the phone

Kaxmytex: Emenike get injury,
pls,i'll lyk 2 knw d foreign club wey mba dey play 4...

That is the best sarcacism on NL LWKMD!

oleku baby: Reality . Am wondering if you could do better. Bad mouth them as much as you like , it pays their bills. you gat me

Thoe who do good movies also have their bills paid. Why do thrashy ones? Its just low IQ problem. Mediocrity should never be hailed for anything in life.

1ndidi2: Honestly I don't like to watch it! My mum and aunt tho love it like crazy!!
Whenever I'm the "remote controller" for the day-i always scroll very fast past those stations on dsTv *d sight alone is painful!!!

Guess there aint no account for people's taste!

Just gimme some detective,crime,suspense,law,comedy and u've made my day.

Babe your head dey there. U are the type I like to date. I once ditched a girl when I realize that every time I visit her house it is only Africa Magic (Yoruba) she watches. Yiikkes! Can't comprehend dating a brain like that. The day I vexed patapata was the day she pronounced wizkid like whiskey with that africa magic yoruba accent. The girl fine but that was my last time of setting eyes on her

HectorTroy: Honestly I DON'T CARE....I am not happy it happened (I can't wish anyone evil) but I am not sorry..With the money they make from robbing Nigerians they can build it up in no time...#Going to watch my startimes.

THE FIRE OUTBREAK DOES NOT AFFECT YOUR SUBSCRIPTION IN ANYWAY. DSTV IS MORE SOPHISTICATED THAN THAT. WHEN A PROBLEM HAPPENS IN NIGERIA THE SOUTH AFRICA BASE TAKES OVER BROADCASTING. WHILE THE PLACE WAS ON FIRE SOME OF US WERE WATCHING EL CLASSICO AND CHELSEA VS WESTBROM.SO RELAX AND ENJOY YOUR SUBSCRIPTION.

Congratulations!
Some of us did not get a job from the sit, we got good business sales and contacts