₦airaland Forum

Well, I personally believe home videos are flawless because I really cannot believe all those poops happen by error. I once saw this movie where a guy was so disrespected by his wife, at one point she tells him he has to cook his own food.
Now this guy gets back from work one day and has to cook. Does he simply cook Indomie? No! Jollof rice? No! Guy decides what he needs is a good plate of pounded yam. So there's a montage of him peeling the yam, cutting the yam, washing the yam, cooking the yam and then finally pounding it. Only for this guy to dish the food and when he starts eating it, it's Eba!
To me that was the height. I really don't know why perhaps after the first take, the pounded yam finished and they had to continue it with eba. Possibly the director took a second look at the script last minute and realised that eating pounded yam wouldn't portray true suffering, so last minute he decided on eba. I'm still pondering.

Well, I personally believe home videos are flawless because I really cannot believe all those poops happen by error. I once saw this movie where a guy was so disrespected by his wife, at one point she tells him he has to cook his own food.
Now this guy gets back from work one day and has to cook. Does he simply cook Indomie? No! Jollof rice? No! Guy decides what he needs is a good plate of pounded yam. So there's a montage of him peeling the yam, cutting the yam, washing the yam, cooking the yam and then finally pounding it. Only for this guy to dish the food and when he starts eating it, it's Eba!
To me that was the height. I really don't know why perhaps after the first take, the pounded yam finished and they had to continue it with eba. Possibly the director took a second look at the script last minute and realised that eating pounded yam wouldn't portray true suffering, so last minute he decided on eba. I'm still pondering.

Well, last year, my crew was contemplating shooting our first movie in 2007 and a director suggested one about a superhero. dakmanzero is the only one in this forum that has a solid idea of what a Nigerian superhero should be. His/her powers should be consistent with what is actually tenable in Nigeria i.e juju/jazz/otumokpo.
Their weakness should be distance from the shrine or some kind of abomination.
The superhero's name could be something like VOODOO. Don't even laugh cos that just came
off the top of my head.

Anyway, how come you all forgot our old superheroes:
Benbella
Pa Jimoh
and,
, now this one is crazy but Dauda the sexy guy/ Nackson. I'm still trying to figure out how to make the guy into a hero. He's a damn rapist for crying out loud!
All the same, I'm making my movie on Nackson. I don't care what anyone says. Maybe I'd get an R18 rating, but I'll do it all the same.
Perhaps I could do a little switch; instead of being a rapist, he could be this guy who could sense heat in a woman and went around town giving satisfaction. Is that heroic? Well, whatever. I love this forum. So many intelligent people.
Ah what about Gbefila? She solves problems by spreading rumours. Didn't anyone in here read Funtimes?

Well, last year, my crew was contemplating shooting our first movie in 2007 and a director suggested one about a superhero. dakmanzero is the only one in this forum that has a solid idea of what a Nigerian superhero should be. His/her powers should be consistent with what is actually tenable in Nigeria i.e juju/jazz/otumokpo.
Their weakness should be distance from the shrine or some kind of abomination.
The superhero's name could be something like VOODOO. Don't even laugh cos that just came
off the top of my head.

Anyway, how come you all forgot our old superheroes:
Benbella
Pa Jimoh
and,
, now this one is crazy but Dauda the sexy guy/ Nackson. I'm still trying to figure out how to make the guy into a hero. He's a damn rapist for crying out loud!
All the same, I'm making my movie on Nackson. I don't care what anyone says. Maybe I'd get an R18 rating, but I'll do it all the same.
Perhaps I could do a little switch; instead of being a rapist, he could be this guy who could sense heat in a woman and went around town giving satisfaction. Is that heroic? Well, whatever. I love this forum. So many intelligent people.
Ah what about Gbefila? She solves problems by spreading rumours. Didn't anyone in here read Funtimes?

Well, last year, my crew was contemplating shooting our first movie in 2007 and a director suggested one about a superhero. dakmanzero is the only one in this forum that has a solid idea of what a Nigerian superhero should be. His/her powers should be consistent with what is actually tenable in Nigeria i.e juju/jazz/otumokpo.
Their weakness should be distance from the shrine or some kind of abomination.
The superhero's name could be something like VOODOO. Don't even laugh cos that just came
off the top of my head.

Anyway, how come you all forgot our old superheroes:
Benbella
Pa Jimoh
and,
, now this one is crazy but Dauda the sexy guy/ Nackson. I'm still trying to figure out how to make the guy into a hero. He's a damn rapist for crying out loud!
All the same, I'm making my movie on Nackson. I don't care what anyone says. Maybe I'd get an R18 rating, but I'll do it all the same.
Perhaps I could do a little switch; instead of being a rapist, he could be this guy who could sense heat in a woman and went around town giving satisfaction. Is that heroic? Well, whatever. I love this forum. So many intelligent people.
Ah what about Gbefila? She solves problems by spreading rumours. Didn't anyone in here read Funtimes?

Well, last year, my crew was contemplating shooting our first movie in 2007 and a director suggested one about a superhero. dakmanzero is the only one in this forum that has a solid idea of what a Nigerian superhero should be. His/her powers should be consistent with what is actually tenable in Nigeria i.e juju/jazz/otumokpo.
Their weakness should be distance from the shrine or some kind of abomination.
The superhero's name could be something like VOODOO. Don't even laugh cos that just came
off the top of my head.

Anyway, how come you all forgot our old superheroes:
Benbella
Pa Jimoh
and,
, now this one is crazy but Dauda the sexy guy/ Nackson. I'm still trying to figure out how to make the guy into a hero. He's a damn rapist for crying out loud!
All the same, I'm making my movie on Nackson. I don't care what anyone says. Maybe I'd get an R18 rating, but I'll do it all the same.
Perhaps I could do a little switch; instead of being a rapist, he could be this guy who could sense heat in a woman and went around town giving satisfaction. Is that heroic? Well, whatever. I love this forum. So many intelligent people.
Ah what about Gbefila? She solves problems by spreading rumours. Didn't anyone in here read Funtimes?

Well, last year, my crew was contemplating shooting our first movie in 2007 and a director suggested one about a superhero. dakmanzero is the only one in this forum that has a solid idea of what a Nigerian superhero should be. His/her powers should be consistent with what is actually tenable in Nigeria i.e juju/jazz/otumokpo.
Their weakness should be distance from the shrine or some kind of abomination.
The superhero's name could be something like VOODOO. Don't even laugh cos that just came
off the top of my head.

Anyway, how come you all forgot our old superheroes:
Benbella
Pa Jimoh
and,
, now this one is crazy but Dauda the sexy guy/ Nackson. I'm still trying to figure out how to make the guy into a hero. He's a damn rapist for crying out loud!
All the same, I'm making my movie on Nackson. I don't care what anyone says. Maybe I'd get an R18 rating, but I'll do it all the same.
Perhaps I could do a little switch; instead of being a rapist, he could be this guy who could sense heat in a woman and went around town giving satisfaction. Is that heroic? Well, whatever. I love this forum. So many intelligent people.
Ah what about Gbefila? She solves problems by spreading rumours. Didn't anyone in here read Funtimes?

"If you do good,
and I do not say that you did good,
it's as good as me saying you did not do good.

And if you do bad,
yet I do not say that you did bad,
it's just as good as me saying you did not do bad".

-NEX.

Well, the best and easiest way to learn pidgin is to apply for a short course in the University of Benin. Believe me in 3 months, pidgin english will become your mother tongue! I actually wrote a poem in Pidgin. But I must warn you, it's racist.


WHITE SKIN, BLACK MAN

So I fair?
Who come bad patapata?
I still dey try
Who come worst pass?

I yellow naim make me fair
My brother different so therefore E bad
Na you come good because you white
Thank God I manage fair, my own don better.

My sister, you no fit white sh`a try fair
If you no fit fly, shey you go still jump?
Take wig make you wear,see cream sef make you rub
No be God? Black na disease wey get drugs.

Thank you Oyibo, you too try for us
If no be you, we still for dey mad
Thank you say this blackness go soon stop
Thank you O, this madness go soon cure.

But no mind me O, I jus wan ask
No jus mind me at all, but why you dey tan?
If black so bad, why you like am.
E wan come be say na you sef dey mad.

Sorry O, but E dey somehow
You no like black but you wan black
Na white better pass, you born half caste
Which kain palaver come be all that?

Oyibo sir, abeg I know understand.
"Master" please help me explain
Jesus, God, Angel: all na white.
This your "wayo" sef, na today?

Everything wey black jus bad
Black magic, black leg, even black heart sef
With your skin like overall eczema,
Na you still wan dey criticize.

But me I never see person wey black before
Me na yellow, my wife brown, my pickin chocolate.
E come be like say na ya own brain black
you no see black but you think black, you imagine black.

So now who come black?
Your coat, your car, everything black
Dye you hair black, smoke your air black,
wear dark shade make you dey see black.

So bros, tell me who come bad.
You wan' come brainwash your slave:
"Black is beautiful"; "black n proud"
you forget say black na state of mind.

You don already black finish
You jus dey shame to talk am
But as you dey resist na ya sef you dey punish.
You wan black, you dey try, so claim am with pride.

"Crazeman wey 'gree don already cure.
So go ask John Hawkins, ask Lord Lugard.
Who come kill my papa, who thief my land?
Black Man!



NEX.