₦airaland Forum

shrek4: Sis Deola, I was hooked with a lady, we often talk on fone...but she doesn't show much interest.. I just learnt she discussed me with another friend.. Said she can't wait to meet me and all.... My point is this... I was giving up on her, cos she wasn't showin any sign of interest in me... Anyway, I will keep my fingers crossed, I will loosen up a bit... See where dis goes... I will keep u in d loop...
Thanks again!

that's good news the type we avnt heard for so long on this thread. Remember to pray, especially d istikhara one and be yourself no matter what. Be sure its you she wants and nothing else and make it vice versa.

May the best happen.

thank you for you response. I have to apologise for replying late. After reading it the first time, I decided I needed a second reading.

I think the failure of the religions of the world to speak in one voice and of the peoples of the same religion to have d same views is a factor in the opinion that d way towards God could be devoid of religion

I am baffled though that without religions which start wv d coming of a prophet or a claim to prophethood, we wldnt know what God wants, how He wants them, when and where.

I really would like to know what you think of the higher being, the one beyond your senses. Do you have a relationship with Him or what is ur opinion of that. Do you believe in the after life

olawalebabs: Toba, the 'Amirah' has spoken.

eniafelamo: Toba, !Toba !Toba !, The Amirah has spoken!.

no oooo. Sis Muki is our AMIRAH

toba: u are not God my dear

of course am not

olawalebabs: Toba, you for don get your 'muslima' tay tay, but your always see your 'helper' as 'antagonist'. Lol. Anyway point to any of them, and 'we' will talk to her. Lmfso (apology to mac)

he is not getting a muslimah and he knows it

shrek4: Right... Am not backing the society and am not walking away from the norms... i just want to be careful and get it right "next time" ... about the experience, trust me... now is not a good time... am weak, tired and worn-out... right now, am rehearsing sleep sef!
I owe u sha.... Thanks for giving me ur time jare...

[quote author=shrek4]rehearsing sleep? Not good at all. All d best in ur choices sha

toba: salam my fellow muslim brethren

alaykal Islam.

shrek4: Probably...... Anyway, i av got a very flexible mind... am just tryna protect mysef from the poachers... being over-protective??

understandably protective considering ur experiences. How bad could they av been. Care to share??

I think d best way to learn is by experiencing things. They make or mare though. You dont always allow them control ur attitude towards life.

cycober: Here is one for the feminists. According to one no nonsense person, "if all men died and only women remain on earth, life as we know it will grind to a halt. The world will literarily turn to stone age era over night.
But if all women died and only men remain on earth, "men will simply invent artificial pu.ssies (already invented), and artificial wombs, and move on with life :

2. As another no nonsense person said, "every block/brick, great building, road, bridges, cars, train, planes, ship, e.t.c e.t.c we see around are designed and built by men"

So to feminists, stop deceiving yourselfs with this equality bul.sh.it, common logic should tell you its totally crap. I will believe in equality when i see women start to work in coal mines, on the front line (army), construction workers (labourer) e.t.c

the only reason men achieved that is because they've been favored to. Given the same circumstances\opportunities, women would do the same

I have always thought feminism is a cheat on women.

No matter how equal a woman wants to be wv the man, she doesnt get to cheat nature. Her biological role of bearing and rearing remains intact. I decide not to be cheated.

I would really want the traditional way of being the woman i.e being fed, clothed, driven only for the same reason and not because I dont have my own money and I get to keep my money for whatever I deem fit.

shrek4: ** HEAVY SIGH** .... and i begged not to be judged oooo.... anyway ur wrong about me not ready to be committed... i am so ready, but i av been hurt way too many times, i would be a fool to ply same path again, dont u think so?? i will rather stay in my shell, wait for the right person to come fetch me... i am not giving up, neither am i up for games, but i am sure i will identify her when she come around...am willing! ... Thanks for the hint tho...

wow. I may be gettn d meanings of d word, judgement wrong. I ddnt mean to judge.

U belong to d exceptions to my theory then. If i find many more exceptions, it might get some modifications.

the only wrong thing I see here is he keeping it all from you
the other thing that would be wrong is you asking him to divorce his other wife.

Havent men been known to be naturally polygamous? Let nature take its course. You, be the UK wife and let him av som1 2 be wv anytime he's in Nigeria.

Trust issues though. You may not be able to deal with that. I'd advise you reassess ur situation and think and what's best for u and ur child(if u av any).

Wish u d best

summary pls??

shrek4: Really, here is what i think about being single and searching: Look the other way, dont search.. what is urs will find its way around to you... i have come to realize that "Searching while Single" is just a distraction(for me oooo)... ur emotion will be toyed with, you expect alot from someone thats not willing to give average.. you start assuming every girl u come across is the right person... So, i have decided to "lean back" ... am just gonna lay back and watch as it plays out... i hope for the best but am gonna expect the worst tho....


**DISCLAIMER** the above theory is based on MY experience and idea... dont take it personal and please dont judge!

i kinda agree wv ur theory. I might actually be on d same course as u are. But I thnk u'r on dat course because u prolly arent ready to be serious. Whoever u'd be in a relationship wv wld only get to av drinks wv u, eat out wv u for a long while. Nothing serious happening soon.

But if u were truly ready, u'd be searching nd not only u wld be but every oda person who cares enough and u'd be surprised that she wasnt so far away.

Also talkn from experience evn though, there's always at least an exception to d rule.

very brilliant piece.

And btw, the write up is in English and d last time I checked, the bible was in hebrew.

bhusayor: Tanx..I understand the concept of istikhara better now .

u'r welcome dear and btw, should we tell d house we spoke today??

olawalebabs: Deols should be and qualify to be our Amirah. jazakum llahu khairan. You have touch many life with your educative and informative thread. You just trigger an untapped source of Ibadah this evening. May Allah continue to guide and protect you including all those that have made manigfull contribution in this thread.

I fear for that kind position o. Thanks anyways

I think I need to clarify that the istikhara isnt only done in a confused state. Even if it is only Mr. A u'r considering, just slot his name in the appropriate position and dat is it!

Duau ISTIKHARA

Allahuma inni astakhiruka bi 'ilmik wa astakdiruka biQudratik wa as aluka min fadlikal azeem. Fa innaka takdir wa la akdir wa ta'lamu wa la a'lamu wa anta 'alamul guyub. Allahuma in kunta ta'lamu anna adhal amr(here's where u mention ur need) khayru li fi deeni wa ma ashi wa 'aakibati amri fakdirhu li wa yasir hu li thumma baarik li fih. Wa inkunta ta'lamu anna adhal amr, sharru li fi deeni wa ma 'aashi wa 'aakibati amriy, fasrifhu anni wasrifni 'anhu wakdir liyal khayr haythu kana thumma ardiniy bihi

English meaning

Oh Allah, I seek the counsel of your knowledge and I seek the help of your omnipotence and I beseech your magnificent grace. Surely you are capable and I am not. You know and I know not, and you are the knower of the unseen. Oh Allah, surely you know, so if this matter(here's where u mention it) is good for me, in my religion and in my life and for my welfare in the life to come then ordain it for me and make it easy for me, then bless me in it. And if this matter is bad for me, in my religion and in my life and for my welfare in the life to come, then distance it from me and distance me from it and ordain for me what is good wherever it is to be found and help me to be content with it.

HOW ISTIKHARA IS DONE.

_you observe two rakaah of nafila, having it in mind that u want to perform istikhara(note, dr's no need for saying ur intention)

_after the taslim(salama), you recite du'au Istikhara(it can be found in hisnu Muslim,a booklet translated in English to mean, citadel of the believer or fortress of a Muslim). You can read it from d book but d best thn is to memorise it.

_while reading the dua'u, there's a part where u state the reason for the Istikhara.

Thats all.

Essentially, two rakaah of nafila and d dua'

note- u can also say d dua' without d nafila. U are in d market for example and u'r wondern if blouse, color blue or pink. Saying d dua' would be just enough.

Also, u can repeat it over and over again. Ur choice

bhusayor: I'm just reading about istishara( as a term though, I know the meaning is necessary)..

But how does that conviction come from istikhara.
I've seen the prayer in citadel and even though I've never done it, I want to know if anyone has and how did he\she get convinced that A is and not B or viceversa.

Reason I asked this is because I know a couple of peeps that gave their suitors' names to different alfas to perform istikhara for them, but they ended up getting contradictory results and got more confused. And I'm like why not say the prayer yourself. Then I thought again wat if they did? Wat signs would they see to know the right choice?

very, very good questions dear.even though am supposed to be explaining how it is done, I'd attend 2 ur kweshuns first. Istikhara is something you do yourself. Many of the so called alfas actually are idol worshippers, hiding under Islam. Let everyone beware of them.

And about being sure if it is d right thing. Some people claim to c signs and others just make up their mind. The only rule to it is, wat happens eventually\ d decision u make, is d answer to ur prayer.

Now, if we see a situation where the couple, even though they did istikhara, got married and eventually got divorced believe me,that marriage was d best for them at that time. They may never regret d outcome for it was leading them to d best thing ever.

And about anyone who's experienced d effects of Istikhara, I am that person. It is not only done on relationship issues but on every aspect of life, so I'd say the most important thing about it is that I make a decision and sleep so well after it, being sure it is the best. Alhamdulillah, I av never failed after an Istikhara. In fact sometimes when certaun things dont end well, I blame myself for not doing Istikhara b4 d decisions were made. So, how its done, Next

Dyt: Salam salam
Yawns
Wat a day
Tunji pls pass me dat juice
Toba I nid u massage my foot

wa alaykum salam. But ds ur fantasies ehn?? *tryna seal my lips*

while not at all trying to spoil d fun, I'd like to talk bout somfn important. Istikhara(seeking counsel)

in a case like d one mentioned by kandiikane, where an individual is confused, not sure of what or whom to choose, Istikhara is done.

Simply put, of u'r wondern on whether to go for Mr. A or B, istikhara is what to do.

One of d companions of the prophet said he thought them istikhara like he did salaat. We all know how much important solat is.

Something else done apart from istikhara when it cojmes to relationship matters is istishara. It simply involves asking other people's opinion concerning your choice.

Eventually, whatever decision taken is the answer to ur prayer and u can be rest assured it is d best for u.

How it is done NEXT

olawalebabs: How did ladies cope when they see the guy they admire and will like to have as husband and the man is not looking toward their side, can you take the first move?

this is deep! Actually, I av found myself liking some guys and what I do is extend a hand of friendship and voila. So, I thnk if I find myself loving someone enoff to wanna marry him, I'll do same. We bcome friends and then hope he sees reasons to propose. If he doesnt, my age becomes a factor. I'd be married b4 am thirty(amin) but beyond that I'd b mature enoff to face d consequences of a rejection and would propose.

olawalebabs: Somebody has been viewing this thread all day without posting. waiting for that man to comment now.

who is d somebody pulease.

May I say that the advice has been good. And would toba just stop flirting around? Ojo n lo, ogbeni yi

Harbioollah: Unilorin jes bleeped me up...
Wtf do i do with 78% for medicine(2nd choice)

my bro thought he'd score up to 90 too and got 74. Donno y its so. pray hard. The best shall happen to u, I pray.

bhusayor: ^neither will I talk further

Post is a reply to deols' (you this geh)

good gehl..lol

bhusayor: Its obviously a 'he'...and did u just bumpp into each oda ni?

Thinking of the characters on this thread..

Olawale

Ibrosaunks

Toba

Mac

Jarus

Wait a min...olsmade or sth??

u ds geh, I shall not talk

olawalebabs: Why not? Let us me know the person.

dont u worry sa

in reply to mac's questions, I thnk mine is all about being feisty . No, actually it has two parts, d me(deols) and d they(dem ogas) parts.

Me..

They.
_Some thnk u'r wat u'r not and wont even dare.
_And while thnkn u'r wat u'r not, some just want 2 meet ur expectations. I despise dem pretenders!
_Others are just rude and crude, cant even thnk it twice
_what about them over confident few. What av u to brag wv?
_and the ones who'r taking u for granted just because uv bn nice? Gosh!

Dyt: ^ n u so fallin already?

wat d'u mean falln already.

Dont let me talk too mush abeg

'

bhusayor: Eyes rolling*...wanna make a guess..

oya, give it a try. Its a small world sha I wonder how many times I have passed by pple I made conversation wv on NL wvout knowing they are d ones.

olawalebabs: who is the person you met?

donno if s(he) would want me to keep that info.

radar5: As salam alaykum,although I entered into this thread late.
It is important to know that no lady is perfect.The prophet (SAW) said women are like rib bones,attempt to straighten them breaks them.
It is essential a lady possesses beauty enough to earn your pride,she must preponderantly be of healthy faith,she must be industrious and be of good commitment to matrimonial projects,
Above all,she should be amenable and possess great understanding.
Always marry a lady that is ready to learn and apply.

thanks for this. I think it is good advice but I have a problem with the Essential, preponderant and MUST, in the post. You can advise that a man look out for them but they arent essential, preponderant and a Must have from an Islamic point of view

mukina2: yay!!!
you gast update me o

i wanna hear . .i wanna see . .!! you know right ? !!!

i will be patient till you get to where we do our stuff

yes m dear. I'd give it all to u undiluted.mwahhh..miss u already

Interestingly, I unexpectedly met som1 who's been on this thread today. Next is B. Hmmn! I can actully wait!...