₦airaland Forum

tbaba1234: When i say pre marital affairs, i mean boyfriend-girlfriend affair.. You are either married or you are not. In Surah maidah, Allah says (rough translation):

Today all good things have been made lawful for you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful for you as your food is lawful for them. So are chaste, believing, women as well as chaste women of the people who were given the Scripture before you, as long as you have given them their bride-gifts and married them, not taking them as lovers or secret mistresses. The deeds of anyone who rejects faith will come to nothing, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers. (Surah 5:5)

Also in Surah Nisa

If any of you does not have the means to marry a believing free woman, then marry a believing slave– God knows best [the depth of] your faith: you are [all] part of the same family – so marry them with their people’s consent and their proper bride-gifts. [Make them] married women, not adulteresses or lovers..... (Surah 4:25)

A relationship outside the confines of marriage is essentially haram. If you meet someone and there is a mutual attraction. You do it the right way. He informs your family. You do not get too cozy by exchanging text messages and calls. You do it the right way. If he is serious, he 'd contact your guardian.

Before making a decision to marry this person, you guys can have conversations in the presence of your mahram (guardian), not locked up in a room. The guardian doesn't have to sit on the same table with you; basically your conversation has to be in an open area. This is a very important point and you should take advantage by finding out as much as you can about your potential spouse. Ask the tough questions and see how you both get along in conversations. Is he comfortable with your aspirations? What does he look for in a wife?

You can meet multiple times if needed but all in the presence of a guardian ; After this, you make a decision whether you want him as a husband, he also decides whether he wants you as a wife. When there is an agreement, you start making plans for marriage

"Do not prevent them from marrying their husbands when they agree between themselves in a lawful manner." [Noble Quran 2:232]

The Prophet said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Devil makes a third."

Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Book 25, Number 5403, Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As

Marriage is difficult, there is no guarantee it will work; but if you have two people that believe in and love Allah.. Then no matter what happens you know that the rights of the other will not be violated

i agree wv evrthn posted. No bf-gf relationships? Fine.am not arguing that.

But u said somfn about them avn conversations before deciding to stay together. Do u av a term for that period? Wat do u call d time btw d man seeing her, trying to talk her into accepting him and the period of marriage?

Does she get to have feelings for him at this time or are u saying havn such feeling is haram?

Cheers01: The logic behind my comment is veiled but should be understood by rational minds

u so much believe in ur ability to use logic, but cldnt logically deduce my post was a reply to both of the comments u gave b4 my post??

Am sensing some form of obsession in u.

bntY: @deols
I Call it X-factor.be it love or attraction(as tbaba will like to put it ),dr has to be something making u ignore other guys.

So, u'r saying some level of attractuion has to b dr before u enter into that relationship abi?


Like u'r saying love before marriage is better?

olawalebabs: just have to commit everything to Allah, in life you win some and lose some. Just make sure you win more than you lose.

thanks for the food for thought but I dont understand how it relates wv my post. Do u care to explain?

Am not hopn to lose at all btw

maclatunji: @deols' question, I guess it depends on the stage of personal development I find myself. At this stage, I would not be eager to shut the door on the person but I would let them know that I am not really having the "X" feeling. If they can handle that, I will count it as a point in their favour. If nobody else comes along that fits the bill, I might just end-up with them.

The simple question that deols is trying to ask is: can you marry someone who loves you way more than you love them instead of marrying the one you love more? The answer for me is yes, if they meet other requirements. The "X" factor we are looking for may be ephemeral and may not be a solid foundation for a good marriage.

Note: I said may.

your first paragraph answers my question.
But your rephrase is very wrong. My statement is not at all about someone lovn u more dan u love dem but about someone u dont love at all. They are good pple but somfn is missing and dats LOVE

tbaba1234: ^ In Islam, There is no love before marriage since there is no such thing as pre-marrital affairs...

Marry someone who loves Allah and one you have some attraction to... Trust me, if you truly love Allah , it is easy to fall in love with someone who does as well. It is not hard to find out if someone loves Allah.

since every other comment appears to av bn in line wv urs, I'd give my reply in relation wv ur post.

I understand what d love of Allah entails but I av seen people who are good Muslims or av bn known to be good Muslims before marriage end up being bad husbands\wives. So î thnk its about somfn dat goes beyond outward appearance or xter. Its somfn deep.more about the feelings. Thats what my question is about. Wld u go into marriage wv d thot that u'd grow to love each other when u'r sure he is good enough to play his roles and u'r ready to play your part or wld u ensure that d love exists before making d move?

I disagree that u cant love someone u arent married to. Wat exactly do u mean by premarital affairs

why do u care about what a xtian wants? if he's talkn of d sticker, I'd like to know more about it. What problem might u av wv dat, Cheers.

wat d'u guys think of going into marriage without L.O.V.E

imagine a situation where
he is from a good home(most importnt Reason u'r considern it)

cute, and I mean it . Some other girls are after hm but u just arent too bothered about that

has a good career wv a future that appears bright

crazy about you and makes u aware of that

Muslim.doesnt do bad bad thns(or so u thnk) and prays five a day, fasts ramadan, etc

but u just arent feeling that way.

If u'r male, just change d he to she and d his to her nd tell me if u'd go for d relationship.

hmmmn Dyt

how do we get em

blender anyday anytime. Anyone knows grinder by malex? it is way better than the usual blender. It does your beans(for moin moin and akara) without you needing to add too much water and your tatashe, etc without water added. with this u can get what that stone grinder would give you.

before u know it, we'd have aba made??

great personality.

how about putting a tag, or a stamp, like the 'thread closed' stamp on each thread, to show its rating

aguiyi: that was some years back and we are still hearing the same gist

that isnt some years back. that's like ages back.

I hope my children dont get to say the same thing when they see a caption of the President's speech.

dark

the supply is better. So, am hopeful

I expected a little deeper thought to what I said. I ddnt mean totally conflict free but free of it in the way u meant it.i.e, never getting along...I rest my case on this.

rukem: @ nene1,i understand whot ur opinion is about usn the hijab cos itz whot am actually facn now cos i would love my future partner to be a muslim so i can raise my children in the way of islam.but usn it feels very hard for me cos i am used to the normal western fashion sense which has to do with figure revealing clothes,attractive make-ups and hair do.but i noticed all this takes u back and keep u away from remembering and worshiping Allah wish is our primary aim of exsiting and every other thing is secondary.and according to what president said,itz thru dat most hijb sister find suitors early than the non hijabis and their fellow muslim cos when i was in higher institution,i noticed most of the hijab sisters are either married or engaged.so nene1 itz a good thing and remember u are don this for allah and not for shown off.usn the hijab draws u closer and makes u rem ALLAH and solat and allah says in the quran that in the remberance of ALLAH does the heart finds rest.so u are taking a bold step in finding rest in the one u belive in.ma salam

I pray Allah makes it easy for you. I find you an inspiration. You are an inspiration

fairytale thoughts or not, my idea of love remains conflict free. I bet the people in question, wu'v bn attributn d conflict to mean love are people wu's thot process is influenced by the types of book u'r talkn about. that sounds more like a fairy tale. dont u thnk?

@ topic being discussed, I just find it weird that u'd act bad towards someone u love. It doesnt fit my definition/imagination of what love entails.

chaircover: Deols yes you are right, we were closed for a few hours on Tuesday.

Yes you are right every single item in the shop is UK imported, selected, purchased and imported by moi

No we dont just sell bridal gowns and accessories. We are a unisex boutique, gift shop and mart too. Look in my profile for our website details it will give you an idea of some of what is stocked in the shop; cosmetics, perfumes, gifts, greeting cards, chocolates, fashion accessories, shoe, bag sets, handbags, watches, adult bedroom toys, household decor and much much more.

Please feel free to drop by. We look forward to serving you

nice I'll be there IA

Dyt: Ok Mac
Let me ansa on my past experiences
I only raise alarm if I am givin dat man attention and he doesn't luk my way, it burns me so much dat I turn everyth to fights, jst 4 him 2 listen 2 me.
Dunno d kind of conflicts u mean tho bt dats mine. And if d fights are constant, den I relax n likely take a walk

seriously? Think I wld die in silence instead.

snubish: @mac, kindly pardon my being presumptuous, no harm meant really.

to answer your question; i,ve not experienced dat kinda scenario before. looks more like a book/media kinda tin. but were it to happen in life, it may be like cos opposites attract(u,re fascinated wit what u don,t have or are not familiar with), then after the initial attraction, they start having these intense conflicts frequently cos they were opposites to start wit. from there, they can move ahead by resolving, or they just each go their way with mutual resentment.

@deols, u need to calm down, like seriously. u,re d bomb, but quit blowing ur top online. and i,m yet to meet a really intelligent woman that is beautiful, those gifts just don,t seem to go together but there are always exceptions.

eh, dont get me started pls and why dont u stop being d shrink for a while?

your opinion of me doesnt count. you can start talking straight, I already know u sabi English.

Dyt: Whispering
Deols n Mac

stop it!

snubish: mac, se i told u u operate on a different frequency? how many people do u think will be able to follow dis your post? and who even reads Shakespeare in naija save literature students. man mi, bone story.

I didnt read d story either. such stories bore the hell outta me

i observed dat deols attracts males like bees and honey. is this psychic, like projecting your real life persona adequately into cyberspace, or is it dat the other ladies don,t show up, has she put a picture up somewhere? cos i know we men are very visual. peeps should relax and not take this thing too seriously. it,s hard enough managing relationships in real face to face contact.

well, am just me but when peeps see me on the outside , they'r like seriously?

mac, i think urself and deols have contrasting personalities; what u have in common is intelligence. i,m not insinuating anything o. contrasts just remind me of the divine union between the messenger of Allah(peace be upon him) who was naturally melancholy, and the choleric/sanguine red lady; Aisha(may Allah be pleased with her). ma salaam.

dont even bring up any unfounded theory . Am not a kid and if I was attracted to anyone, I'd do it straight and serious. which kind contrasting persona are u talking about. pulease, dont lemme talk too much

fact is, not many governors would do this. Even Ajimobi, with his multiple road constructions wouldnt. he's been stepping on toes

Na by force to wear gown? everythin am wearing @ mwedding must be new. I'd rather go for something cheap than for somethn borrowed

Sheyun: I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for
ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have
acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me
a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look
for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will
look for you, I will find you, and I will KILL you.

TAKEN

I have been thinkig of what could count as my favorite quote but didnt find one.Seeing this, I think I found it

The first picture is a wallpaper or how do u explain the human in the aquarium

logic now cheers?

you seem to love ur GF so much that hardly do u make a post without talking bout her. She must be really something


about the hijab wearing lady working among gays, I see nothing wrong with that. If she was working in a gay business, that would av bn wrong. co-workers can be likened to neighbours and Islam teaches that we treat them well. their personal business is theirs especially when they dont interfere with our lives.