₦airaland Forum

Nothing wrong if he wouldnt go beyond the four.

Did anyone miss this part of the gist?

A statement on the president's website said there would be no cost to the government for next weekend's ceremony, nor did the state pay for the maintenance of the four spouses' households


Obviously, many didnt read d link before making their comments smh

My enemy's enemy is my friend. Congrats Francois Hollande Only God reigns forever!!!!!


Nd btw, when are we going to start having elections in Nigeria

am afraid of watching

Can remember the first time I heard of such a thing.thot it was child's play.

When I get the liver, I'll watch IA.

sino: Sis deols, you have even brought forth a proof that indicates the wife should take care of the household, maybe i dont really get you still. What islam says does not negate our culture, rather it encourages our culture in which a wife should be obedient to her husband. I agree with the fact that men should be loving, caring and considerate (she is not his slave); a woman should be dutiful and obedient to her husband.
A wife who does not do the things expected of her is a bad wife under any standards.

Expected of her by who? her husband, family,friends, society? Standards are relative, u know. Yours might be different from other people's

obedience and duty.

I want to believe that you know that a woman is allowed to disobey her husband. if he is asking her to do something that goes against her religious obligations, disobeying him becomes mandatory. here lies the big gap between obedience to the husband and her duties in her marriage(according to Islam) which are also obligatory acts.


Many Nigerian Muslims hide under this obedience to use their 'macho' skills over their wives. If the prophet asked Fatima to carry out house chores(an hadith) and another hadith shows that he also carried out house chores, shouldnnt a combination of both already show that that duty is a shared one by spouses? Muslim men can decide to live the way of the prophet or not rather than using those words that suit them while neglecting others.

So a man would then because she has to obey him start asking her to do things even if she isnt capable of doing them? He may as well sit back while ordering her to provide for the family.

In the words of tbaba1234, If your aim is to follow the prophet, then follow him:: and I add, in totality.

It is cruel that a man would go to the market with his wife and after buying all, he carries the load and dumps them on her head. she is after all to obey.

It is the same Nija man o that buys the first car, and because it is his money drives all over town whereas his weaker sex wife(slave)goes around town with a baby bump and a child on her back with her leggedes benz or waka wagen smh

Finally, a man loses his respect when he starts to treat his wife badly. I hope she's aware of the right to LEAVE.

Now, concerning our culture.

Have it in mind please that I like to talk in terms of what is ideal. I pride myself as being a muslim first but Of course, I am Yoruba.

Islam didnt abolish the good things in our culture and you think that the woman doing the house chores is a good thing and should be left that way?? I am not at all disputing that. maybe, I would on another thread. But on this one, I havent said anything like that or havent meant to do so.

I am only saying that, a woman cooking for her husband is not something Islam makes her duty. Duty means something she must do. And if she doesnt do them, no one should see her as bad or see her not doing them as a sin.


ALso, not only Yorubas are on this forum and they wouldnt be the only ones who might find the things we discuss here useful. So, when I speak, it is on a larger scale than what 'our' culture is or is not.

Knowing this might not change much in the lives of many of the people reading this. But in case they get exposed to other Muslims, of probably other cultures, they wouldnt start to assume those people are out of this world or unIslamic because they do things differently. I was having a discussion with a friend of mine who lived a large part of her life in Europe about family, child bearing, etc and she mentioned how she plans to rotate house chores with her hubby. I laughed asking her if she had a Nigerian in mind. She joined in the laughter and told me of course. I had no doubt she could marry such a man but I knew certain busy bodies(friends or families of the man) might be the problem in such a case, that is when they'll realise she had 'used' his head.

Education, and especially an Islamic one is supposed to set everyone free, to realise the good things of life and never to be tied down by some cultural beliefs that only exist because we make them exist.

sino: Sis deols, you have even brought forth a proof that indicates the wife should take care of the household, maybe i dont really get you still. What islam says does not negate our culture, rather it encourages our culture in which a wife should be obedient to her husband. I agree with the fact that men should be loving, caring and considerate (she is not his slave); a woman should be dutiful and obedient to her husband.
A wife who does not do the things expected of her is a bad wife under any standards.

I really do want you to get what I am driving at.

FIrst, u referred to what I said concerning Fatima. the fact that the prophet encouraged her to carry out those duties doesn't make them compulsory on her. It is like the acts that earn you rewards without being compulsory. let me give you examples. There is a hadith concerning a man who walked into the masjid during salaatul Jum'ah, the prophet called on him, asking him to get up and say his nawafil(tahiyatul masjid). That ddnt make observing it compulsory, it was enjoined. so also, if u say subhanallah, alhamdulillah and Allahu akbar after every salaat, u'll get rewards but they arent compulsory aspects of Islam. Even Allah(SWT) talks of the servants of the most merciful as those who wake up in the night, standing and prostrating(i.e observing the tahajjud and this doesnt make tahajjud compulsory. I can go on and on. Breastfeeding your child for two years is mentioned in the Qur'an but you dont even haave to breastfeed your own child according to Islam. If a woman wouldnt be able to, it becomes the duty of her husband to even pay the foster mother that does the breast feeding.

In essence, that the prophet encouraged his daughter to do this, like other good things doesnt make it compulsory on anyone.

tbaba1234: ^ The prophet of Allah washed his own clothes, cooked his own food and helped around in the house ... Too many men hide behind obedience and fail to realise that their wives are not their slaves.... If your aim is to follow the prophet, then follow him::

While wives are told to obey their husbands, the husbands are expected to be the best to their wives

The prophet said:
"The best of you are the best to their wives; and I am the best to my wives." Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3252 Narrated by Aisha ; Abdullah ibn Abbas

So to be the best to your wives, you must emulate him.... So even if you can't wash your clothes all the time... Do it sometime... Cook for your wife and yourself, help around the house.... It is a sunnah

Men can't keep looking at one side of the coin.... she is supposed to obey you so you take advantage... If you follow the sunnah, you will take up some responsibility around the home like the prophet did...

Men need to be made aware of this..

thank you, thank You!! Everything you have written is just so it. the highlighted is just the most beloved to me.

concerning the issues raised.

1. Allah is not everywhere. He knows what is happening everywhere and has the knowledge of the unseen.

2. Allah created us to worship him and not because of the prophet S.A.W

ALlahu a'lam

uplawal: Cant believe deols to be asking this sort of question.

oh my dear sister, knowing the answer to a question doesnt mean you cant demand answers to them. an example is seen in the long hadith where the angel Jubril asked the prophet certain questions he(Jubril) knew about. After answering the questions, the prophet faced the sahabah and told them that was Jubril, he came to teach you your religion. So, one of the ways of telling things to others is by asking questions like this, wa Allahu a'lam.

I would like to respectfully discuss the question of tolerance in Islam. My personal feeling is that the very fact that NL had to open a section reserved for muslims is very telling. To be very honest, any discerning person should recognize that that fact alone is worrisome. It indicates that people are generally wary of the adherents of this religion. That, my friends, is not healthy for your religion.

the good thing to do would have been to ask for the genesis of this. Many people dig their own graves by such acts as this, making conclusions from what they have no knowledge of.

As I understand that non-muslims are not to post on this board, save with the permissive discretion of the mods (which again is very telling) I will discuss this with maximum respect, but also with maximum honesty.

Another wrong assumption. many atheists and christians have been posting here. People who aim to torment trouble and speak ills of the prophet get their posts deleted. they get warnings and bans if they desist.
If guarding what is yours, preventing it from slander and blasphemy means intolerance, So be it. I wonder if u'll pat the man who insults ur folks at the back rather than making him see sense so he doesnt do it again. The fact that you accord ur so called holy book no respect doesnt mean we shouldnt ours. Your Jesus can be spoken with in any ways and because you care less, u gave it a cover, freedom of expression and we are to follow suit??

let me just say that if this thread is locked just because we seek to discuss this issue, that would truly be poetic: because it would underscore the very point being raised here.

you are being unnecessarily cynical. that is very childish, I must say.


I assume it isnt too hard to see that the term, freedom of speech is relative. if a man can be jailed for insulting a Queen, what more of insulting a prophet of God. the least we can have in such a case is a section for Muslims an if you want yours, simply demand it.

[quote author=emöfine2]^^^
I was responding in accordance to the OP so instead of researching I just ran with the interpretations granted by the OP because I assumed the author being Muslim that her definitions would sufficiently stand. I stand corrected then.
Actually after reviewing what I responded to again I believe I was following the authors mother’s definitions dismissing the following explanation from “however”...and that’s the fault of my comprehension – my apologies for being so hasty.[/quote]its understandable. no probs, we'r cool

Now we’re on this topic I hope you don’t mind me asking...do Muslim men work towards lowering the possibility of a woman lusting after them (just like Muslim women do in relation to men)?

Ideally, a Muslim man should. Even though there are no detailed descriptions in the Qur'an regarding what a man should wear, many scholars have pointed to their clothing as not being tight fitted, etc. But, you hear people talking more of what a woman should appear like, totally neglecting what a man should or shouldnt wear. It partly has a thing to do with the patriarchal nature of our societies and more because the woman is seen as the more alluring sex. Allah says-

Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty...(24:30) and say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty...(24:31)

If there is nothing to lust after in men, I doubt that the verse 31 would be revealed. inference can be made from this verse to already call for modesty in men. Many Muslim guys join in wearing skinny jeans . I just know there was something wrong about that.

very good advice put in a very wise form.

mistake

If so, if an African woman was to dress modestly must she wear an Arabic traditional attire? I understand that some regard the hijab as perhaps an Islamic uniform but that doesn't still negate the fact that it is traditionally Arabic.

can you prove to us that the hijab is a traditional arabic attire?? if so, pls do. Are u aware of what is called jahiliyyah?? if not, pls google it before answering the question.

Try have an understanding of the difference between Islamic and Arabic. As you are right now, you could be doing something Islamic without being a Muslim.

Some young African women who try to appear “modern” or some may call it “western” in terms of fashion tailor their traditional African fabrics into a “western” syntax thus could not a Muslim African woman consider doing such?

if it doesnt go against the Islamic culture and properly covered with the hijab, Of course, she can.

BTW I do love the Hijab though but I don’t understand the idea of adopting another traditional attire as a mark of being “modest” or “muslimy”

You get it all wrong. Hijab is a commandment. it is stated in the holy Qur'an with its characteristics described by scholars. If you would prove to me, as asked above that it is arabic rather than Islamic, I can then understand your reasoning. No culture can claim the hijab as far as I know. I still wonder how you came about the conclusion. If it were already an arab thing, Why would God reveal a message ordering its use?

This is actually the irony. The beauty of an attractive woman will still resonate no matter her attire (well I mean no matter how she tries to conceal and not highlight it). The majority of hijab clad women I have seen were very beautiful that I often thought erm...is this really a design to conceal one’s beauty because to me it enhances it in some way...but maybe because I find eyes to be very beautiful...for another it could be hair or something...so erm maybe it’s just me

There have been so many misconceptions about hijab, what it entails and why it should be used. To youu, hijab is meant to conceal beauty? To me , the most important thing about using it is as an obedience to ALlah. Reading further, Allah describes it as something that distinguishes us from others(u can even tell a Muslim who wears scarf from others). it is also a sign of modesty. Apart from that is its role in keeping the 'sanity' of the populace(lack of a better word there). the possibility of a man lusting after a properly covered woman is definitely slimm when compared with an uncovered one of the same pedigree.

As a non-Muslim to a Muslimah, if you feel the hijab is appropriate for you and a reflection of your faith and not because of another human being (especially a man) then really you shouldn't be conflicted or perhaps even unconfident about adorning yourself in the attire.

I agree with this.

What about ladies wearing the niqab?

I want to assume you'd agree that beauty isnt the primary thing people seek in marriage. A man who wants to marry someone wearing Niqaab must have done his homework. the only thing left would then be to see what she looks like. In that case, he is allowed to see her face and even a part of her body like her leg. This, she does in the presence of a mahram(a relative she can't marry ).

oh, I seem to put much emphasis on cooking. My post regards other things too, like washing his clothes.I personally cant imagine doing that . I think the couple would have to decide what works for them. If a woman would do it though, nothing wrong with it. Her not doing it doesn't make her a bad wife either.

rendezvous

she's getting nothing 4rm d marriage. What's d essence then?

@sino
I understand clearly what you mean. Cooking for ur husband as a woman isnt a bad thing. There's also the hadith where Fatima demanded a maid and the prophet encouraged her to go ahead working in her home.

I just like to make things clear. What Islam says versus what our cultures permit. Islam is a way of life and a couple accepting to live an Islamic life should know exactly where the lines are drawn..I wish i can express myself better

oh God, I met him once. Dont believe d rumor of him running mad. People should stop that ah!

may Allah forgive his sins..Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajihun

I wrote this article, the position of Women in Islam sometime ago. A part of it is related to your post. here's the link---http://ammeerrahh./2011/07/29/the-position-of-women-in-islam/



As Wives

-Women have the entire right to decide on who to marry, although not without the consent of a waliyy (this is to protect them) except in certain circumstances.

- The role of a woman in her marriage is to be the partner, and comforter. To bear the children and take care of them and to protect her husband’s property and interest as well as to guard her chastity.

-So many cultures have definitions for the role of the woman as a wife, this should not be interwoven with her role under Islam. For example, cooking for her household or washing the clothes of her husband are not specified in Islam as her role in marriage but are part of some of our cultures especially in Africa.

-In return, She’s entitled to shelter, clothing, feeding, and the comforts of life according to her husband’s capability.

-In a polygamous setting, women are to be treated with equity in terms of the provision and attention they get from their husband.

-They are not to be prohibited from their acts of worship by their husband but they take permission from him in non obligatory acts such as visiting.

-During menstruation, a woman does not lose her position with her husband. It is related that the prophet used to stay with Aisha during her period and would even place his head on her laps.

-Even though coitus in its real sense is not allowed at this time some, level of sexual interaction is allowed.

-Women are to be submissive to their husbands except in matters that deviate from the principles of Islam. Just like a ship would need a captain, a home needs a leader and Allah has made the man it. Reasonable men seek their wives’ advice in matters before taking actions and that is evident in the life time of the prophet. This will foster trust, understanding and respect between the spouses.

-Just as women are able to choose their spouses, they are allowed to leave their marriages when the condition becomes unbearable. Whether because they’re treated unfairly or for other reasons.

Adeola

Homo sapiens,a scientific term just like Carica papaya.

medical genetics should mean you can easily keep her at home. isnt that what you wanted in the first place.


U sure are one hell of a chauvinist

I see some truth in what Uplawal said of Yoruba men. Matter of factly, many of them dont treat their wives right. Worse is that many young males are brought up with the same ideas that women are meant to be their 'slaves'.

I read some archaic writings of a man on Fb yesterday. if not that I ddnt want any wahala, would have tried to correct his belief. He was praising the authoritative nature of his dead father and he already had some others liking and commenting. They all would most probably live the same life. I believe in speaking the ills of the society so we may find solutions to them rather than trying to cover them up cos they are ''our people''.

summarise abeg..this is too long

cyrexx: do you know why people should not believe what your Quran says and why your prophet is not worth following, read this recent post on nairaland and see what he says to his people. go to this link
https://www.nairaland.com/929996/before-you-blame-boko-haram

oh, so u think u'r d one to tell me what the prophet says to his people? you must be a joker! and btw, why not face the topic of discussion. DO u av any reason to disprove the above made claims. You can bring those on rather than trying to derail this thread. I'll check the link u posted though.

this book says more - http://www.amazon.com/Human-development-described-Quran-Sunnah/dp/0962723649

from it...

Malpighi, considered the father of modern embryology, studying unfertilized hen's eggs in 1675, thought the eggs contained a miniature chick. While some scientists believed that the human being was fully formed in the s.perm, others believed that this preformation occurs in the ovum. The controversy ebded around 1775, when Spallanzani showed the necessity of both the ovum and the sperm for the development of a new individual. Twelve centuries earlier, the Qur'an and Sunnah had established this fact, for the Qur'an states

"O mankind: We created you from a single(pair) of a male and a female...(Al Hujurat, 49:13)


Eventually, I realise that I do not need science to prove the existence of God. It has only helped me appreciate being on the right part.

2. the Prophet said that during pregnancy



God sends an angel and orders him to write four things: his provision, his age, and whether he will be wretched (shaqiyy) or blessed (sa'id). Then the spirit (ruh) is breathed into him. And by God, a person among you (or a man) may do deeds of the people of the Fire till there is only a cubit or an arm-breadth distance between him and the Fire, but then that writing (which God has ordered the angel to write) proceeds, and he does the deeds of the people of Paradise and enters it; and a man may do the deeds of the people of Paradise till there is only a cubit or two between him and Paradise, and then that writing proceeds and he does the deeds of the people of the Fire and enters it. (Bukhari on the authority of Ibn Mas'ud; Muslim also reports something parallel).


You would start to wonder how possible that is. But science even proves that the health of an individual is largely determined by the events that occur during pregnancy. You may argue that while one is physical and can be seen, the other is spiritual and of course science can't explain that.

something similar scientists say--->

Most people outside obstetrics consider the essential part of having a baby as childbirth...However, professionals know that life actually started some 38 weeks before this at conception...For example, the biggest simple independent variable for raised blood pressure in the 50-60 year old man is his birth weight and its ratio to placental weight, a measure of what happened in the uterus between 14 and 20 weeks of gestation.
(source-Obstetrics by ten teachers.sixteenth edition. Introduction.)

@ Op, I dont need science to reaffirm my belief in God. Imagine that I was on earth when the evolution theory was postulated, I'd be needing God or the holy book to explain to me why all the Lizards around haven't turned human.

Nevertheless, there's a bit of science that prove the truth in the words of God. Not that proving it really matters. it just happens that I find them and am ready to share.

1. THe six degrees of burn -[url] http://www.anapolschwartz.com/practices/burn-injury/burn-degrees.asp[/url]

Third degree burns go all the way through the skin. The most common causes of this severe injury are electricity, chemicals and fire. Skin that has been damaged by a third degree burn may appear black or white. The nerve endings have been destroyed so the affected area might not hurt but the area adjacent to it will likely hurt. A burn of this severity may cause the victim to go into shock.

what the QUr'an says-->
"Those who reject our signs. We shall soon cast into the fire. As often as their skins are roasted through, We shall change them for fresh skins, that they may taste the chastisement” (Nisaa’:56)

explanation--> there are six degrees of burn but mostly, we talk of three for the fourth is mostly fatal and d fifth & sixth diagnosed only during autopsy. Allah doesnt need the people of hell to die so he wouldnt let them get the extreme degrees(as often as their skins are roasted through). At level three/four, the nerves are damaged and the patient feels nothing hence, the need to have a change in skin since the aim of hell is to get the punishment in the first place. so they get a continual replacement.

May Allah save you and me from the fire of hell..Amin.

Actually, there's nothing wrong in asking others to pray for you. Unfortunately, people who call themselves Alfas in Nigeria are babalawo's using the powers from jinns. If you go to them, u'd be compounding your problem. it is like paying millions for a hundred.

As already said, wake up in the night and pray to Allah. Preferably, observe nawafil(nafila) before asking for what you want.

I pray Allah answers your prayers.

You can tell us more about what is bothering you.