₦airaland Forum

I hope she was paid for her appearance.

You dont give their wedding a celebrity touch without getting paid esp3cially when they can afford it!

I like.it when Young people do big things.


I am not a music fan but I like davido and I sure like the U-17 team.

Keep the flag flying..Our generation is going to Change Nigeria. We have started already!!!!

Afam4eva: I don't even think the woman set out to marry from outside her tribe. She probably felt she was more or less marrying her fellow Yoruba since the man spoke the language even better than her and was probably more disposed to Yoruba things hence the reason why she didn't seem it necessary to discuss these issues. Some ladies would actually have no problem acceding to such a man's request, that's why people should marry someone they can agree with most of the time. If you can't agree with someone, no matter how in-love you guys are, it's a waste of time.

The problem is the absurdity of the request. Most women would do what their husbands want. What he wants is something she should not have to give. She doesn't need to stop speaking Yoruba to the child before he learns Esan.

she has to communicate with her son and the best to communicate in is her own language. So she has to keep mute with her child and wait for him to come and speak esan to him b4 the Child learns anything??

and English is out of the question. How does he accept English and not Yoruba? most of the children who learn to speak English at home learn the wrong things and in the wrong way.

Afam4eva: It will take two extremely mature people not to get into conflicts because of issues like that.

If don't want to change your name to that of your Husband, it's your choice but you have to communicate it to him before marriage to see if he's like your family that don't care whether someone bears their name or not. But i think that's quite a stretch in a place like Africa.

As much as a man shouldn't have married a woman outside his tribe if he soo cares about her and his children speaking Esan, the woman shouldn't have also considered someone like that or at least she should have discussed these issues before agreeing to marry the man. Marriage is about agreement. If i go into marriage agreeing that my wife should be giving me ten hot slaps everyday, i won't see it as an insult when i eventually get into marriage because it's what i signed up for. I think this woman should accept things the way they are because that's what she signed up for. A lot of parents are aware of this issues, that's why they fight tooth and nail to make sure their ward does not marry outisde their tribe.

Only mature people should be married!

and younger people can learn the things to discuss before marriage.

But Op said she didnt think it would matter because the man speaks Yoruba. Some men just omit important thingswith the hope that she'd after all have no choice after marriage. As man of the house, their will would prevail.


I have a preference for a Yoruba man because I have always known that the culture difference is a big deal especially in Nigeria. I dislike the thought of even communicating in English with my spouse, let alone my children.

His level of education and of those around him matter a lot. A situation where the grand parents/parents are not very educated and are very cultural and have authority is not a place for me to be in.

It is a case of shine ya EYe.

tintingz: Now tell me what if a woman husband died and she got married to another man she will have to change her surname again? Even when she divorce the current husband and marry another man she will have to change her name again? This not making any sense, changing names as if she is no person or has no root

she becomes something transferred from one person to the other.

The most important thing is for us to fast on the 9th and 10th.

Afam4eva: It's not stated explicitly in any book but most of African culture including Yoruba culture is mostly patriarchal and as such any form of relationship is controlled by the man. It's the reality we live in today and nobody says it's cast in stone. There are women that when they get married, they retain their father's own name in addition to their husband's name and there are women that don't even bear their husband's name at all. Why there's nothing wrong with this, it can cause conflict in a marriage.

It causes conflicts simply people decide to allow it. In my family, we don't ask any woman married to us to change their names. They don't have to.



and I have no plans of changing mine. and is the reason I will marry someone who thinks like I do.


A man does not need these irrelevant things to assert authority. There is a big problem when a man wants to scream 'I am the man' by all means. It shows that he has some esteem issues or insecure of his position as a man.

Everything from not allowing his son have a Yoruba name to disallowing her from speaking her own language to him tell of a dominerring man, forcing his ways down his wife's throat. He didnt have to marry her if he could not live by her ways. The child was to grow with an infusion of both cultures.


This kind of assertion even breeds disrespect. She will probably get away with this and realise how much more she can get away with. Eventually, he'd become a man who only screams authority.

lobell: It is practiced in almost every culture in the world (except in Indonesia where they dont have surnames and some tribes in Ghana where they bear the mothers' name. These are extreme exceptions). But generally sppeaking, if you marry an american, you automatically become one or qualify to become one depending on the amount of 'Red Tape' you have to cross but this is the norm everywhere. If you marry from a different nationality/culture from yours, you automatically adopt that nationality/culture. This is common knowledge except if you're from outer space which I doubt very much but if true, welcome to Earth!
I fail to see where I insinuated she's a property. Does your car or shoe become a Nupe car or an Ebira shoe when you acquire it? No!, emphatically. When she got married to her man, she automatically became a part of him something akin to his eyes or elbow or even brain. Technically she can still lay claim to her ethnicity but she now belongs to a new one (leaving her Yoruba people doesn't mean forgetting who she is) and as a functional part of her hubby she has a say in her marriage provided it doesn't undermine the proper functioning of the marriage (for instance your eyes can decide that they want to stay shut and don't want to see anything the whole of Monday simply because an insect flew inside and it hurts very bad. News flash! Because the rest of the body has to get to the office on Monday morning and they heavily depend on the eyes to see the way there, the eye has no choice but to open and see the way despite/in spite the pain - that's what marriage is all about)
At this age and time I expect everybody including you dear Deols to know how relationships work especially with respect to adopting your spouses culture if/when you do decide to hitch your wagon to his.

You need to try harder. I am a Yoruba person. What in Yoruba history or culture says that a woman changes her name after marriage?

and don't start to say what you don't know about. In many parts of the world, women retain their identity- the one they are born with. Even in Northern Nigeria, many women retain their Fathers' name after marriage.

when is it? I mean what date using the gregorian calendar?

lobell: What Afam is saying is that for a woman, marriage means leaving your former identity and identifying with your husbands. That is why OP was previously called Sikiratu Obadofin = Yoruba and she's now called Mrs. (she has gained a title) Sikiratu Oseronwenmenmenmen = Esan. or Mrs. S. X. Y. Z. Oseronwenmenmenmen which tells anybody anywhere that the bearer of that name is Esan. As soon as OP said 'she did' she disowned the Yoruba and identified with Esan.

and in what culture is this practised?

For marrying an Esan man, she becomes Esan?? You are making it seem like she's a property passed to the hubby and is now entirely his. she can no longer make claim to her ethnicity nor can she have a say in her marriage.

what part of our culture even says that a woman must change her name??

At this age and time, I didnt expect to hear many people speak this way. o ga o.

tpia is trying hard to prove nothing, actually

luvable sam: Ouch....it hit her where it hurts...

I still insist ...it would be a CURSE for any man to blinddate u, talkless marry u..
U really finished...I tel ya..gone beyond repairs

who is this ediot? what has this got to do with the topic?

hahahah..this dolt actually thinks that what he thinks of me matters??

blind date me?? uv been fantasizing abi? I assure you that you wouldn't walk a mile close to me, let alone raise your head to look at my face.


ok..I have seen you.. ode..

The response makes it seem like it is the wife's fault.

She did it to somebody is why it will happen to her.

I prefer Kulyie's response. gutter thinzz abi public toilet ni?

[quote author=me_for_you]Don't understand some commentators here. How can can the woman teach the child esan when she doesn't understand the language.
The man must be a bull to think that a mom is not supposed to speak her language to her child.
This calls for divorce. It's early signs of bigger quaerels of the future[/quote]Very reasonable post.


and how does he want her to communicate with her child if not in Yoruba? using sign language or English?


some people should not be married.

luvable sam: U are very STU.PID....cos u are frm a certain tribe doesn't make u or ur kind superior. Am sure u ar an educated illetrate.....u really showed ur foolly on this comment......am so sure u av neva travelled past ur village,area or lagos cos u are obviously YORUBA.

I pity a man that wud consider u for a blind date talkless of marriage

Y are you so bitter? Are you so insecure and from an inferior tribe?

You are soo educated that you could not see that I wrote that in inverted comas.

You low self esteemed lot should be screened off the internet.

I see Efe's point. The food may taste good but not healthy.

It does not mean that one can not learn though. Some indulgence every now and then won't kill.

He is disgustingly feeling inferior.


I wonder why he went for a 'superior' ethnic group for a wife if he could not accept their ways.

How could allowing her child bear a Yoruba name have been a problem?

Man is very insecure.

[quote author=PAGAN 9JA]"God" of War = Ogun[/quote]Ogun(do mi) is the god of iron.

Ogun (re re) means war.

There are many Yoruba words with the same spellings but the pronunciation, differenciated by ami(marks).

Balogun - Oba l ogun

the leader at war.

Oba - king but in this context means leader.

[quote author=amusan yetunde ]Which means wealth can not be uprooted.[/quote]Really??

Now, I say it to myself and it sounds like 'wealth is strong and cannot be dissolved'.

[quote author=PAGAN 9JA]im not saying they are Gods.

Im saying their title has the name of a God.[/quote]What god?

'god' of what?

Belmot: Correct..... Salam Alaikum Malama deols

Wa alaykum salam.

Beautiful ladies are confident and don't settle for less. The not soo beautiful grab their copies fast!!!



Not too goodlooking guys have had to prove themselves worthy beyond their looks..what they have get them the pretty girls.



Goodlooking guys aren't too smart. They have been constantly aware of themselves and could be boring.


I don't mean to generalise. This is only a theory.

Belmot: Gbadegesin, shekoni, salako, Adedo, kunbi, ibidun. Olaoti, Abeke, Sabitiyu ..... All this names are missing

Sabitiyu is not a Yoruba name..it is arabic.

[quote author=PAGAN 9JA]God of War.[/quote]Nope. It is not the name of a god. The Baloguns are human, chief to the Oba and lead wars.

They could be liken to the military head.

Idowuogbo: Yea u right! Something like won fi ola di ti.

The ami on it is.. Re mi do mi.

It is not re mi mi mi..which would have meant wealth is deaf.

Idowuogbo: Wealth is deaf

I don't think so.

But it probably shows an exaggerated wealth. Something like, too much money

Mr Bravo: Awon baba iya yin

Yeepa! Oro buruku

[quote author=Nadia_SA1]What of Balogun[/quote]Warlord

shollaire: Obasanjo means the reigning king and he sure reign twice in Nigeria history. is true your name reflect who you re?

No. It does not mean that.


Oba--> the king. Which could also mean God
Sanjo--> (no literal meaning, but could mean) has paid.


Sounds like, someone who's suffered a lot and eventually conquers.

Idowuogbo: Idowuogbo,abikereleti, tan ban sun ah si ma ja....

Hahhahhahhah..interesting.


I am trying to understand it...