₦airaland Forum

13. 80-90% of what you fear will happen never really come into reality.
This is a big one. Most things you fear will happen never happen. They are just monsters in your own mind. And if they happen then they will most often not be as painful or bad as you expected. Worrying is most often just a waste of time.
This is of course easy to say. But if you remind yourself of how little of what you feared throughout your life that has actually happened you can start to release more and more of that worry from your thoughts.

14. Don’t take things too seriously.
It’s very easy to get wrapped up in things. But most of the things you worry about never come into reality. And what may seem like a big problem right now you may not even remember in three years.
Taking yourself, your thoughts and your emotions too seriously often just seems to lead to more unnecessary suffering. So relax a little more and lighten up a bit. It can do wonders for your mood and as an extension of that; your life.

15. Write everything down.
If your memory is anything like mine then it’s like a leaking bucket. Many of your good or great ideas may be lost forever if you don’t make a habit of writing things down. This is also a good way to keep your focus on what you want..

16. There are opportunities in just about every experience.
In pretty much any experience there are always things that you can learn from it and things within the experience that can help you to grow. Negative experiences, mistakes and failure can sometimes be even better than a success because it teaches you something totally new, something that another success could never teach you.
Whenever you have a “negative experience” ask yourself: where is the opportunity in this? What is good about this situation? One negative experience can – with time – help you create many very positive experiences.

What do you wish someone had told you in school or you had just learned earlier in life?

9. Use your reticular activation system to your advantage.
I learned about the organs and the inner workings of the body in class but nobody told me about the reticular activation system. And that’s a shame, because this is one of the most powerful things you can learn about. What this focus system, this R.A.S, in your mind does is to allow you to see in your surroundings what you focus your thoughts on. It pretty much always helps you to find what you are looking for.
So you really need to focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want. And keep that focus steady.
Setting goals and reviewing them frequently is one way to keep your focus on what’s important and to help you take action that will move your closer to toward where you want to go.

10. Your attitude changes your reality.
We have all heard that you should keep a positive attitude or perhaps that “you need to change your attitude!”. That is a nice piece of advice I suppose, but without any more reasons to do it is very easy to just brush such suggestions off and continue using your old attitude.
But the thing that I’ve discovered the last few years is that if you change your attitude, you actually change your reality. When you for instance use a positive attitude instead of a negative one you start to see things and viewpoints that were invisible to you before. You may think to yourself “why haven’t I thought about things this way before?”.
When you change your attitude you change what you focus on. And all things in your world can now be seen in a different light.
This is of course very similar to the previous tip but I wanted to give this one some space. Because changing your attitude can create an insane change in your world. It might not look like it if you just think about it though. Pessimism might seem like realism. But that is mostly because your R.A.S is tuned into seeing all the negative things you want to see. And that makes you “right” a lot of the time. And perhaps that is what you want. On the other hand, there are more fun things than being right all the time.
If you try changing your attitude for real – instead of analysing such a concept in your mind – you’ll be surprised.

11. Gratitude is a simple way to make yourself feel happy.
Sure, I was probably told that I should be grateful. Perhaps because it was the right thing to do or just something I should do. But if someone had said that feeling grateful about things for minute or two is a great way to turn a negative mood into a happy one I would probably have practised gratitude more. It is also a good tool for keeping your attitude up and focusing on the right things. And to make other people happy. Which tends to make you even happier, since emotions are contagious.

12. Don’t compare yourself to others.
The ego wants to compare. It wants to find reasons for you to feel good about yourself (“I’ve got a new bike!”). But by doing that it also becomes very hard to not compare yourself to others who have more than you (“Oh no, Bill has bought an even nicer bike!”). And so you don’t feel so good about yourself once again. If you compare yourself to others you let the world around control how you feel about yourself. It always becomes a rollercoaster of emotions.
A more useful way is to compare yourself to yourself. To look at how far you have come, what you have accomplished and how you have grown. It may not sound like that much fun but in the long run it brings a lot more inner stillness, personal power and positive feelings.

5. Be proactive. Not reactive.
This one ties into the last point. If everyone is reactive then very little will get done. You could sit and wait and hope for someone else to do something. And that happens pretty often, but it can take a lot of time before it happens.
A more useful and beneficial way is to be proactive, to simply be the one to take the first practical action and get the ball rolling. This not only saves you a lot of waiting, but is also more pleasurable since you feel like you have the power over your life. Instead of feeling like you are run by a bunch of random outside forces.

6. Mistakes and failures are good.
When you are young you just try things and fail until you learn. As you grow a bit older, you learn from – for example – school to not make mistakes. And you try less and less things.
This may cause you to stop being proactive and to fall into a habit of being reactive, of waiting for someone else to do something. I mean, what if you actually tried something and failed? Perhaps people would laugh at you?
Perhaps they would. But when you experience that you soon realize that it is seldom the end of the world. And a lot of the time people don’t care that much. They have their own challenges and lives to worry about.
And success in life often comes from not giving up despite mistakes and failure. It comes from being persistent.
When you first learn to ride your bike you may fall over and over. Bruise a knee and cry a bit. But you get up, brush yourself off and get on the saddle again. And eventually you learn how to ride a bike. If you can just reconnect to your 5 year old self and do things that way – instead of giving up after a try/failure or two as grown-ups often do -you would probably experience a lot more interesting things, learn valuable lessons and have quite a bit more success.

7. Don’t beat yourself up.
Why do people give up after just few mistakes or failures? Well, I think one big reason is because they beat themselves up way too much. But it’s a kinda pointless habit. It only creates additional and unnecessary pain inside you and wastes your precious time. It’s best to try to drop this habit as much as you can.

8. Assume rapport.
Meeting new people is fun. But it can also induce nervousness. We all want to make a good first impression and not get stuck in an awkward conversation.
The best way to do this that I have found so far is to assume rapport. This means that you simply pretend that you are meeting one of your best friends. Then you start the interaction in that frame of mind instead of the nervous one.

I am 28 now. I don’t think about the past or regret things much these days.
But sometimes I wish that I had known some of things I have learned over the last few years a bit earlier.
So here are 16 things I wish they had taught me in school (or I just would like to have known about earlier).

1. The 80/20 rule.
This is one of the best ways to make better use of your time. The 80/20 rule – also known as The Pareto Principle – basically says that 80 percent of the value you will receive will come from 20 percent of your activities.
So a lot of what you do is probably not as useful or even necessary to do as you may think.
You can just drop – or vastly decrease the time you spend on – a whole bunch of things.
And if you do that you will have more time and energy to spend on those things that really brings your value, happiness, fulfilment and so on.

2. Parkinson’s Law.
You can do things quicker than you think. This law says that a task will expand in time and seeming complexity depending on the time you set aside for it. For instance, if you say to yourself that you’ll come up with a solution within a week then the problem will seem to grow more difficult and you’ll spend more and more time trying to come up with a solution.
So focus your time on finding solutions. Then just give yourself an hour (instead of the whole day) or the day (instead of the whole week) to solve the problem. This will force your mind to focus on solutions and action.
The result may not be exactly as perfect as if you had spent a week on the task, but as mentioned in the previous point, 80 percent of the value will come from 20 percent of the activities anyway. Or you may wind up with a better result because you haven’t overcomplicated or overpolished things. This will help you to get things done faster, to improve your ability to focus and give you more free time where you can totally focus on what’s in front of you instead of having some looming task creating stress in the back of your mind.

3. Batching.
Boring or routine tasks can create a lot of procrastination and low-level anxiety. One good way to get these things done quickly is to batch them. This means that you do them all in row. You will be able to do them quicker because there is less start-up time compared to if you spread them out. And when you are batching you become fully engaged in the tasks and more focused.
A batch of things to do in an hour today may look like this: Clean your desk / answer today’s emails / do the dishes / make three calls / write a grocery shopping list for tomorrow.

4. First, give value. Then, get value. Not the other way around.
This is a bit of a counter-intuitive thing. There is often an idea that someone should give us something or do something for us before we give back. The problem is just that a lot of people think that way. And so far less than possible is given either way.
If you want to increase the value you receive (money, love, kindness, opportunities etc.) you have to increase the value you give. Because over time you pretty much get what you give. It would perhaps be nice to get something for nothing. But that seldom happens.

5. Playmate

It is not only your wife you have to play with, also play with your children. Take them out, walk hand in hand with them, buy the young ones toys, play games, basketball, golf and other sports with the elder ones too, once in a while take them out to the cinemas, out for shopping, take them on vacations.. Cos those moments are unforgettable.

6. Companion

Always be there for your family, cos they need you. Be with your children on their first day at school, on their graduation and most importantly on their wedding day! Be with your wife during pregnancy and labor period; be with them on anniversaries like birthday, Christmas...

7. Teacher

Teach your children what to do, when and how. Teach them your religion beliefs, also go through their homeworks.
'One real father is better than a thousand headmasters', '
charity, education begins at home'.

[/b]8. Trainer[/b]

Train them in Gods way, train them to be good and law abiding citizens, train them on their responsibilities to the family, the school, religion and the society.
Don't forget child training has more to do with your lifestyle than what you tell them i.e it has more to do with what they see than what they hear, that is why you must be a good example to them.

9. Servant

Render selfless service to your family, it shouldn't be all about you, buy clothes for every one before buying for yourself.
Jesus washed his disciple’s feet, serve them at home, serve at work, serve in ur place of worship. Do not be proud, cos pride goeth before a fall!

10. L♥√ع

The greatest gift a father can offer his children is to L♥√ع their mother.
Also L♥√ع your children, make them feel at home, make them feel welcomed, be a good listener, let them feel the fatherly warmth and embrace.
Finally, once in a while tell them 'you L♥√ع them'. I can never forget a day I was mad at my dad and i refused to come home, it was getting late and he was concerned, I refused to pick his calls, then he sent me a text telling me how much he loves me, he pleaded that i should come home so we can settle. While reading the text I busted into tears and started running home, 4got 2 say goodbye 2 my friend whom I was with! When I got home he embraces me and said he was sorry, I was like I L♥√ع you too dad... For a very long time, I had that text on my phone, am pretty sure have read the text over a thousand times, it was a moment i still cherish. Say dos 3 words, it works like magic.

Fathers, your child needs you, your wife needs you, your family needs you, and the society needs you, your children defines your family, your family defines our society, our society defines the Nation and the world at large.
Be a responsible father, a point of reference most of all make your family to be proud of you.

Most fathers have forgotten their roles/ responsibilities, some thinks providing for the needs of the family is their only responsibility, and some are in Diaspora, a gentleman created a thread searching for his father, although I don't know how many years but I pitied him.

Some fathers are just useless, some refuse to claim responsibility of their very own child, some left the poor woman αlσиє with her kid, some carry prostitutes about, some always drink themselves to stupor, although being a teetotal does not guarantee u to be a real dad and some are lazy and jobless, and are as good as being dead.

What exactly are the roles of a father? This thread is to remind you of your roles, duties and responsibilities to your family and the society.
Below are the roles of a father;

1. Good Example

Your life is like a book they are reading; they are watching you, your actions, your deeds...
Be a good example in character, in conversation, in your actions and deeds... Live an exemplary life.

2. Priest/Imam

Let them know the way of the God you serve, teach and lead them to pray and live a godly life.
'The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom'.

3. Provider

Do not let your family suffer, you are the bread winner of the house and it is your responsibility to provide for them.
Provide them food, shelter and clothings, provide for your child the best legacy and investment which is Education. Do not be lazy, be hardworking and God will crown your efforts!

4. Protector

It is your role to protect your family. Protect them from the evil vices of this world, stand up and defend your family when necessary.
I remember I read a touching story in the dailies about a Man who died while trying to prevent armed robbers from molesting his wife, he said i can't watch it happen, i'll rather die, he killed two of them, before he was shot dead and they were unable To Molest the woman. The wife said 'my husband died a hero', and she would never forget that. That family will forever be proud of their father that is a real Father!

ttaolin500: how much d guy unicem dey pay for his trainee and fresh graduate.
I think dat is my own bone of contention.

Just apply first; i dont think anyone knws that here. If their price meet ur desire later gud but if not u continue with ur current job (because only those that has job already ask this kind of questions)

Application submission successful!
Thank you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx for your intrest in our company. Your application has been submitted successfuly. You will be contacted if you satisfy our requirments.

This is the message you get after submission.

SQLmaster1: pay well? 4wia.
Those in the banking sector are better off where they are. Those who earn up the 70k are also better off. Besides, them sabi owe salary like owen Hagreaves.
I'm happy i didn't let any close friend of mine get involved in all these brouhaha. UAC ko, ACU ni.

Plz dnt qwote me!
Y'all responsible for what you read.
#Make Of this what you will !!!!

Ignore this clown please.

Talking rubbish, killing moral and spreading falsehood.

malcolmzee: Our Written test for TPM Officer refers.

We regret to inform that you are not successful as you could not make our cut off point.

We appreciate your interest in our company and wish you success in your future endeavor.

Thanks

HR/Admin





this was the message a fellow that wrote the test last Thursday got on Tuesday (15/07/2014)

I guess the TPM is not thesame as FMN PLC. SKILLS DEVELOPMENT SCHEME – PRODUCTION.

Or have they written the test for FMN PLC. SKILLS DEVELOPMENT SCHEME – PRODUCTION too.

MohSarkee: We wrote the test for TPM officer at their Golden penny plant in Surulere on friday, 11th July in two batches(9am and 11:30am). The test questions were basically O'level mathematics. Honestly, they took us by surprise. None expected such. Also, we were told by the H.R officer who doubled as the invigilator that, they'll get back to us in two weeks..

I guess the TPM is not thesame as FMN PLC. SKILLS DEVELOPMENT SCHEME – PRODUCTION.

Or have they called for FMN PLC. SKILLS DEVELOPMENT SCHEME – PRODUCTION too.

Got same. These guys are more reasonable that those dragnet deadnet.

Good one; Wafirians let see how to make this work.

No job is too small, no job is to big. just post them here as u come across them.

Spread mat; sipping Lipton.

obiscolly: Hmmn...does it mean all those invited were Warri based? were you able to interact with any of the other candidates to know their residential location?

Not all came from warri because i spoke with ONLY ONE guy that said he came from Kogi. we were about 160 - two batches of 80 each.

mathmatica: ...after the training on Thursday, exam would be written and the successful ones would be given a grant of #500000

I mean criteria they use to select people that they called for the training.

mathmatica: yes,am part of it

Do they by chance relate to u guys the criteria for the final selection. cos i was initially invited for the certificate verification but was not invited for the program - so i am just wondering what is the basis for the final selection?

obiscolly: I'm really hoping so too because I used a PH address. What address did people that were invited to warri use?

Wrote in Warri last week tuesday, I used my warri address.

buddy57: I applied for.seplat gtp, & i was called to write an aptitude test last week in pti warri.. so i guess dey r writtin dem in batches. Best of luck guys

You also wrote that test in PTI too. I wrote it too. are u sure that test is graduate trainee test with all those mature bros that came to write the test. Besides, did you observed that they wrote "production test" on top of your screen. A guy on this thread said he applied for experienced position and was invited for that same test.

My opinion is that if after on saturday when these guys will write, their questions is similar to ours - then ours is also a gtp but if their questions is different from our - then our is a experienced test.

slydog: I received a call this morning concerning the test, asking if I will be avaiable, I said no, the lady asked why, I said that saturday is already booked for me and if they can reschedule or postpone it for me, she said am I willing to write off an oil company job? I said a bird @ hand is better than two on the field.

Can u pls drop the number that called u for this house.

so that those that have inquiries can know where to channel their concerns to.

bbpreye: All of them. Which of the states r u?

Ph has started their training on Monday which is ongoing now. Warri will start theirs on the 28th of July. yet to get gist about bayelsa. Anyway, I was not invited just got this dates when i called to query them why I was not invited.

vm26: are these the wives or their mothers?unbelievable

One thing I have observed is that fine boiz dont always marry fine girlz and vice versa. And this got me thinking why some times.

bbpreye: Any updates?
It seems the original thread was lost.

is it for warri, ph or bayelsa?

Engobi: How about civil engr?coz ds my profession

Those are the only field advertised.

artisticallyart: A friend just called me from Taraba state requesting for C.V of someone I know with a 2.1 in any discipline and is willing to relocate to taraba state and not more than 27 years, ready to work in the bank.if interested or know anyone pls forward c.v to skillachistillinlove@yahoo.com.thanks.very urgent.

I am in, which bank and how is the pay like?

SSGUniport: Yeah!!!! I Made The List...#Exceeding Grace.

Congrats bro... All the best; All the way.

robvp: i am really confused please advise.

I have been in a church relationship with this guy.

How We Met
His father is a very lovely old man, i like him alot, and the father usually beg me to eat in church cos i dont eat except junk foods etc. so during his father's 68 birthday celebration in church, the house ceremony was suppose to be the weekend following the church ceremony (his children arrangement sha), so after talking we ask him to say a wish, the old man was still laughing when his eyes got on me then he laughed again and said jokingly that his wish will be for me to come and cook in their house and eat with them lol. everyone shouted Elenumajeun like they usually call me - which of course means somebody that doesnt eat in yoruba lol.

So na i could not afford to allow an old man wish go unfulfilled so i went to their house to cook coconut rice and serve everyone food on the table, even though i use to see his children in church and ofcourse their lovely mom, nothing really brought us together not even greetings, but that day, seeing me in their house was joy for everyone, we had time to gist and like all of them will say, they never knew i was so funny and playful. so his second son took advantage, collected my number and we began to talk.

From office chat to night calls to outings we began to know more about ourselves, discovering things we never knew about each other and then he ask that we go into a relationship.

You know church relationship what it looks like, no kissing or romance lol and we are quite very busy, he works in the island and i work in mainland, he closes late most of the time and so do i, most time we can book a date and before you know its either an urgent meeting came up in his office or in my office so we just chat. and on saturdays i go for choir practice and he goes to usher meetings and preparation for service starts in the evening so we hardly have time to even see ourselves but we chat and call everyday.

One day, as i browse facebook to ease myself of the stress, i saw a friend request, i checked and the person had over 300 mutual friends i just knew he must be a church member cos i have many church members as friends so i accepted, i checked the face and he looked familiar.

Minutes later he chated me up to say thank you i did not reply, then he followed with, i was blessed by your teachings the other day, so in other for me not to look rude that maybe one of the people in my youth class is thanking me and i ignore, i just answered and he took it from there, chating from one church stuff to the other, i then realise we are in the same choir though we worship in different branches, we usually have bi monthly choir practice that bring every choir from other branch together so he promise to spot me in the general choir practice.

The general choir practice finally came and he tried to spot me but i went hiding, i drove off immediately after and when he did call i told him i was on my way already, he thought i was joking, the second choir practice for the month came and i stylishly escaped again, this time immediately i left, nigga tracked me down and followed me and i never knew, i only notice a car at my back when i was trying to park at home, i wanted to reverse so i saw a car was wondering why the person would not pass to give me space to reverse and park well, to my surprise when i came out of the car, this guy was there smiling on his steering.

We talked outside for sometime then he left, i begin to share the night call, i no longer do very long calls with my boy friend again cos his calls will be on the call waiting through out, disturbing and distracting me and once i drop his calls will come in, and sometime my boy friend will call back and find my number busy and his calls on call waiting, things continues this way, when my boy friend complained i told him, its nothing that its just some friends that's all. he is a very gentle guy so he just stopped complaining and never suspected me of anything.

Before i know what was happening, this new guy fell in love with me and started doing everything to attract me, then we started hanging out, even when meetings will pop up, like my boy friend will say ok let's cancel it, he will rather say ok, lets just meet in a minute no matter how and the good thing is we work in the same vicinity so its easy to meet, he will close from work and will drive down to my office, wait outside and wont even tell me he's around just to give me a surprise dinner dress and take me out, this guy is so romantic and very soon i begin to watch out for his surprises and at this point, calls with my boy friend dropped to like 40% and if he complains i will say i had a hectic day at work, or so much work to take care of which is why i have no time for calls and still he will believe all is well.

After like 12 months of this cat and dog walk, i begin to fall in love with him, so each time we talk he will say, make me the happiest man on earth, accept the proposal to love me please and in one of those days i just said, i love you.

This guy shouted and laughed for a very long time and said yes i got it, he said baby please let me inform my two best school friends that she has said yes now, he called two people and informed them and was so happy.

On Sunday morning he called to say he will be worshiping in my church branch that morning, that he want to see one of his school best friend whom he informed about me saying yes to him that he want the guy to arrange somethings for him. i said ok no problem.

So after church i saw him with my boy friend locking up and gisting seriously, laughing continuously in one corner, i was like are they setting me up or what, i left church immediately and avoided all of them, switched off my phone.

Later in the night i switched on and i got an sms from the two of them that they have been trying to reach me. each of them saying they wanted to introduce me to their best friend. wooooo!!!!

Immediately after he (new boy friend) called me and ask why i never looked for him, that he stayed almost in an open place talking with his best friend so i could see him, that he wanted to introduce me to him, that the guy will be his best man hmm.... he told me his best friend (who is also my boy friend)told him, he is dating a very good lady in church, best lady in the world and that he too will be getting married soon that he is planning to propose very soon.

So he said to me, i want us to do our wedding before him lol, that the guy must best him and then he laughed hard while i pondered around.

While i was still on his calls my boy friend was on awaiting calls, he had called 3 times so i told him somebody is calling i will need to answer immediately, i cut off his calls to respond to my boyfriend and he said baby why did you dissapear from church na, my best school friend visited the church today and i really wanted to show him who my baby is, he talked about his girl friend, how the girl is good, beautiful, brilliant but i think he hasn't seen you, by the time i introduce you to him, he will be speechless, he actually told me i should arrange some settings for him to propose to his girl friend, he said i should invite old school friends and there about which is what im working on.

i almost fainted on the call but honestly i dont know what to do.

I called the new boyfriend to tell him everything but he wont let me, i was looking funny with tears he said ok, please dont cry dont worry i will forgive you anything, i love you to that point, tell me anything you have to tell me, i do know you have a past but i love you beyond so if anything is bordering you, just let it go.

What should i d now?

And note i have not had any intimacy with the two of them, sex, romance or anything close to that, its been purely church relationships.

Abegi, go sit down one place.

The flow of event is in this story is too connected to be true or na nollywood script where u dey find how to end am.

YOU ARE A SMOOTH LIAR.

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Mastersplinter: We are not fools. We are graduates. So now to get full question has become a luxury abi. I don't understand. We should keep on sending them complaint emails and phones calls so that they would do something about it or else they might feel all is well. This is not done anywhere! Its insane. There should be a limit to what we can take as Nigerians. I move a notion that everyone who sees this and have taken the test should call them tommorow to lodge a complaint. I would take lead. There is nothing funny about it.

Whoever is able too reach them should give us feedback on what they say.

ikoyila: nobody has even tried using a smartfone like BB , android nd co. nd we r all concludin not to use fone

Guys are using system and some are still even having issues not to talk of now using fone. Na u fail ursef be that na.

eldega: same thing happened 2me but thank God I screenshot all the questions. ..wen I re-login and it shows 3mins.....I was able to answer all the questions.


The questions come up randomly from a pool of questions and u might be lucky enough to get the exact thing as the one pasted here cos like 2 of my friends did 2day and we were together.....some of the questions were there while fresh ones came up.......

Can u upload some of ur screen shots here.