₦airaland Forum

Men, there are lots of repressed mofos on this thread!

Happy rant'in.

Mr, Tortoise was in love with a pretty lady and really wanted to marry her, so he decided to go and ask for her dads hand in marriage. He took great pains to look good and when he was satisfied he set off. When he arrived the girls dad was realy impressed by his lloks and since they were just about to eat he invited the newly arrived guest to join. It was quite a sumptous meal, pounded yam and ogbono soup plus bushmeat. Tortoise who was rather famished after his long walk decided there was no harm in dealing with the present matter at hand before proceeding to the purpose of his visit, after all the girl was not running away.
In the middle of the meal when tortoise's mouth was packed full with bushmeat mr Rabbit rushed in highly agitated.
''Sit down and join us o,'' the host offered, ''no '' replied rabbit, still breathing heavily,
''What i came for is very important untill I fulfil my mission one morsel won't pass thru my throat''.
''O.k, what is ur mission?'' asked his host.
''I came to ask for your daughters hand in marriage!''
''That is no problem at all, you are the 1st to ask her hand, sit down my in-law and eat after the meal we can negotiate''.
At this point tortoise started grunting and snarling, but he could not talk cos his mouth was so full. However when he could finally make himself understood everyone agreed he had his chance but did not utilise it. Thats how he lost out.
Moral? Do what you have to when you have to.

Yes o, folk tales are going extinct these days. Lets see if we can remember them. This is mine.

There was this headstrong fellow who declared he was going to eat a vulture and nothing would come out of it. The horrified villagers tried to dissuade him becos it was a taboo to eat vultures. Of course our guy was enjoying all the attention, but the cunning fellow already had a chicken dressed and cut up inside , against all pleas he dashed off to purchase a vulture. When he arrived with the vulture there was a crowd waiting and watching, so he went about dressing the vulture annd when no one was watching he quickly switched the vulture with the chicken, cooked and ate it, to the horror of all the onlookers who did not know the fellow was actually eating a chicken!The guy had his time in the sun and everyone went away. But that night his stomach started swelling up. He screamed for help and confessed that it was a chicken he ate o, but no deal, he died.
Moral? Dont stick out your neck to play a practical joke and dont mess with vultures.