₦airaland Forum

dayborlee:
Update dey hungry me boss.... Big ups bro

OmoOba

Short update on throw back events
One of the events that I remembered while i was upcoming and remained funny and fresh in my memory was one of those broke days when i was on the verge of selling my soul to the devil, i visited my mum’s step Sister who had a bungalow inside Lagos, it was a fave me i face you bungalow, from there i made a visit to baba and he gave me a small calabash that contained animal blood, inside the animal blood that sat in the small calabash, was a mould of soap. His intel was to bath it as soon as i got home. I was to removed the mould of black soap from the blood and do away with the small calabash and the blood. In that same compound, a man named Alfa Jimoh had a keke napep parked and abandoned for months in the compound before i came there got me cracking out loud. I returned from Baba’s coven and did as he said i removed the soap from the blood and since he said I’d do away with the container and the content after i removed the soap, i went and put it under the faulty keke napep and was going to discard it at nightfall. But i forgot about it completely. The next day, Alfa brought a mechie to come work on the keke and before that one got to work i could hear him telling tht one jokingly that his village people might be behind the faults the keke developed everytime. E no tey na hin i hear shouts from the same man now directing the accusations at the people in his compound because bu now he’d find the calabash that contained blood right underneath his keke and then attributed all his misfortunes to people in the compound saying they didn’t want him to progress because he was the only one with means of transportation and they were jealous. Na that day the man park commot for the compound. But I understood. Even if na me sef i go think say dem wan finish me.

Haakeem:
dodoatirice next pls

I drove Niggaboi’s brand new Gle 450 from the car-lot and he drove my own Benz, inside this guy car back to the lodge, i knew we were two different persons and had different obligations. I had money more than he probably did but i paid for it dearly, He now has a benz worth more than mine with acute peace of mind. Something I’d trade all the money in the world for, seems like the devil took my peace of mind and offered me all the money in the world through yahoo yahoo and ritual laced with ritual killings and crime. But for whatever it is, peace in itself is very expensive, more expensive than all the money in the world. I came to realize that money can’t buy peace of mind and if you loosegaurd and take the money the devil offered, he takes your peace and makes you miserable. I understood that Niggaboi would pay for his crime too one way or the other as a scam was a scam no matter what. But he didn’t trade his peace for anything in the world. I mean, he could live in his house with comfiness, he could decide to go anywhere all he had to watch out for was the feds. But that didn’t justify the means at which he made money which was outrageously illegal or how i made money which was spiritual and crime filed. I hope my sins won’t catch up to me sooner than later.


Time to pay the price and make another soap. At Baba’s coven, i asked him to call the dealer so i could go pick up the parcel. Baba said no need as this time, the task was easy and I’d have to part with part of me for the soap this time. Parts of me ke? His complete Intel was I’d have to part with my body part for the saop this time. He’d severe one of my toes, and make the soap with it. Then i went livid with rage.

Me:
Baba, e be like say the gods are crazy, they must be crazy. Wait na joke you dey?

Baba:
Watch it young man, here wey you dey dem dey hear

Me:
What’s young about me? You wan cut my toe you say make i watch wetin?

Baba:
All the people wey you kpesh nkoor, no be me give order, and i no tak say you go die. But repercussion dey oo and you go seeam.

I looked at him in the eye in a mean way and got up then took my leave. Abi iru kileleyi bayi. I ignited the car But before i geared it up his assistant tapped on the window my side of the car.

Ass:
Oga baba say maka tell i sayy if you drive go na 3 we go cut.

Ahn i rolled up my window and hit my Throttle then off i went. This people mus be joking i mused to myself, i said that but deep down i knew they weren’t joking but Bleep it anything wey wan happen make e happen but deep down I silently prayed for nothing to happen. Lagos traffic na situation on him own. I sat in that long traffic and waited for it to move i just wanted to get home and lock myself in. Unusually i felt very very thirsty, i rolled down my window and beckoned to one of those traffic sellers she handed me a bottle i asked her how much it was she answered i was going to ask her to bring a thousand naira change when i felt that saliva rush and in no time i got down from my car and barked away. I was barking and created a scene, i was conscious of it and people were recording me on theor phones. I heard things like e don happen oo chai this boi go do blood money see your life. Then the traffic eased up and cars started moving then i regained mobility and composure, got up from the floor and made my way from the surrounding and mounting crowd, got in my car and sped off. As i drove away from the scene water trickled down my eyes because i knew that fit publicly was the first of many things the devil had in stock for me and as at that point, I didn’t plan to cut my toes for soap.

Moore, if possible, drink small stout, na you go dey gongered without comments.. you go write pa

Jaylynn:
Sorry for the late post... was writing exams
Now you see why y'all need to bring in your comments and encourage me... cos writing and reading. Hm. Well, you wouldn't want to know how hectic it is

TEARS ✍

Chapter ✍❣ Ten



✍❤

Stan—

I’d ended things with Helga minutes before.
Inviting her over and making her believe we were going to set things the way it ought to be, I told her my mind, letting her know the way I felt towards her.
“What? Y-you don’t love me?”
“Please understand, Helga,”
She got up and rolled fiery eyeballs that seemed like they were going to pop out. “What do you mean by I should understand? I waited long years so I could finally be with you,”
I let out a sigh. “My parents were the one who wanted you, Helga. To be frank I never felt a thing.”
She gaped as I moved past her. “Just what do you take me for?”
“A friend.”
“Humph! You’re going to regret this.”
I asked her, feeling threatened. “What are you going to do?” I smirked. “Can you even hurt a fly?”
She laughed at the sound. “You see them tears you made me cry?”
I scoffed as she drew closer with a finger pointed at her left eye.
“I’ll make sure you cry them, too!” she spoke through clenched teeth.
Watching her make for the door, I shrugged the feeling off—one that came with the threat she gave.
Feeling free at last, watching her throw the ring she had taken off, I grinned at the thought of being free, making to shut the door properly, as I turned around, my mind getting clouded—with the thoughts of having to tell my parents.

Ace of spades, Jack daniel, mpkulumiri, refnol and loud sativa coupled with loud music that boomed from my Beats Bluetooth Media Player, i wasted away inside my hotel room i just didn’t want to think about anything. The dealer that brought me the drugs stayed with me in my hotel roof because mpkulumiri had a system to it, he brought the tools needed along and threw a large gram of mpkulumiri on the bunker and coupled with loud weed strain, and occasional poping of the refnol pill coupled with the aforementioned alchol, I couldn’t see myself. The dealer guy just dey drug up dey order food. I already told him to make himself comfy and so he did.. Niggaboi had came back into town and had been ever buzzing on the phone wanting to link up. I asked him (like I didn’t know) about Shade and He said they said a car ran her over and they found her somewhere on the road and that she was badly damaged and that she couldn’t talk too. Even said he didn’t think he’d continue with her because the accident may leave her crippled or even if, she’d be confined to a wheelchair and she it’s him that would be pushing her around ni.. He shot back that last sentence and hunged up. I had already given him the location of the hotel i was and i was pretty sure he’d come. In no time we were in my hotel room together and Niggaboi joined in the drug binge. ( I understood why he wanted to do away with Shade) our discussion went through his travel and his experience and how he bleeped oyinbo pusssssssay and how it felt too creamy.

Niggaboi:
Na so i carry 3 better white chicka go lodge o. These babes sabi handle men die. But their puna e be like tap. Shook preek cream don full your dick but e sweet oo.


Then he told me of the things he learnt and the deals he took on and ending it with, i wan buy benz sef.

Me:
Omo no time 3 for the road?

Niggaboi:
Yes i can make it four but red Jackie dey town o bit i go combine the money of two to buy one.

Me:
Ok which ride you wan buy

Niggaboi:
Which one again? Benz na, i fit buy glk

Me:
Taaaa that ugly Benzo, buy that Gle 450 i you get the mooorney na

Niggaboi:
That one dey but the thing go cast me og make i buy that glk

Me:
Werey, dem go use Gle collect your bae if you buy glk.

Niggaboi:
Chai oya no lele nextweek i go buy am.

Me:
Now nkoor?

Nighaboi: now

Me:
Make we dey go.


Niggaboi thought i was playing, i got up, told the dealer guy who all the while had been silent but observing to man the room and he could order anything that we’d be back. Niggaboi was suprised about the ginger i was givint him, he said he thought to himself the possibility of a new ride, BEC scam he ran from the update he learnt outside the county gave him close to 150milion so i knew he was up to it. We went and brought back a 45million naira benz and i called my house agent and asked him to help Niggaboi find a house on lease.

Epeegee:
Funmilayo no fit save you?

Those animals in black uniform are evil

Where I went to, no pets allowed bros

Boss, I’m just a normal guy, i live a normal life and i have kids. Yes i may be a youth but look everything you read here is entirely fictious. But then again before i wrote this piece, i did lots of research, from Clerics to clerics, Baba Awo etc, i made it seem like i was writing a research and it wasn’t easy getting the spiritual stuff out of them. From the Intel that i got, i was able to put toget This piece. In reality I’m not a ritualist.

I know its hard to believe but that’s how i went about putting this piece together.

70% imagination
30% research

Look where we are

In other words,

Thanks everyone for the views and comments as when i started this i almost gave up. 2weeks no comments and views.

Khd95:
I don finally reach last page

Haaace, where you, barman serve everyone here there favorite drink, and start to dey prepare camel peppersoup, we die put here


But OP near me first, you sure say na just your imagination be this, spirit and blood nonjust revealed all of these to you, the way you detailed and described these events at stuff, no he ordinary ooo.

This is one of the best stories I have read here, I don't just read stories to kill boredom or be entertained, I make sure I learn something from it, and these your story na eye opener ooo.

Things really dey happen oo, and people no really mind sell their souls to the devil for short fames, while they are dying slowly,without happiness and peace of mind


Abeg barman, add the camel's head to dodo's plate of peppersoup

Zeel007:
alright bro, thanks

Naija police do me shege yesterday, i reach house go sleep ni ooo

iboboyswag:
Dodo is viewing... Are you thinking what I am thinking?

Inbtw, I don't want shade to end this way. It was too quick.

What are you thinking lol

DSC7:
Na ur Baby mama dey compose that one for us?.... ..

Hope say e go bam wella?....

We no hear anything about the giveaway again....

#Headburn....

Me na try i dey, i dey read wetin she dey write and me sef dey foorrr.

Zeel007:
Dodoatrice how far, next post abeg...you don dey make the story dey lively once again

Make i reach house no shaking

mokoh:
Boss how we go take access that one once he drop

I go drop link for here before this one end

formular760:
This your piece u sure say part of m no hapoun to yuh?

And the next story wey dey your sigi, i wan see as that wan sef go be

Hehe, Dodoatirice2 is working on the other fiction and that one update no go dey delay like this one. She just wan write episodes down come dey post!

Say hi to Funmilayor.
She’s saved me from the feds on many occasions. If i wan commot we dey dey inside car together once you be police see am eh you go just tel me to dey go no problem.

Based on a true life story
Fiction less this one

I give my Dogs local names tho

preshman22:
You for do pass that one na....

If I be you I for sacrifice shade to the juju

I don use am before

Dem noor dey use pesin twice bro

Jayjay okocha
Babe post na
Don’t keep me waiting oh!!!

I was going to pay the Bribe as these officers were adamant and not bulging. Anyway as soon as i said i was gonnna make payments, they released the cuffs on my wrists and before i know we were discussing as friends. I made them very comfortable, ordered food, put music, they wined and dined and i made transfers. I didn’t give two million, I handed out money to them in cash. That transaction e sweet them gan. I handed out cash to the tune of 800k and the officers accepted it telling me that their pricing no be…. Wait

Officer 1:
You no juss give uss out money complete but no worry, na only for shoprite them no dey price.

As the officer left my abode, i heard them fire into the air disturbing the calming peace in the estate. Okay na. I enter whatsapp ontop my phone, Shade had posted Niggaboi’s pic with the caption ‘Mia’ and that meant ‘mine’ in Spanish wehdone. Then i replied the status she posted with a pic of the officers she’d sent to take me down as a ritualist with the caption, “no be who fest call police or go station dey win case” then she too now replied my message and said “i never even shuck hand for pocket commot bird” then i replied with ‘ehn ehn mafoor” and the chat died a personal death.


Two plus two na wetin? Omo ase go talk say na four, but to me Na twenty two. That’s how many times i had finished off Shade in my head i even got a text from her on a later note that i meeded to return her dammned stuff that i took and that She just start with me and that by the time she’s done with me, I’d be able to explain how i cooked up Her sis and ate. ‘Lol’ i replied, I was dealing with spirits, that one itself dey stress my life na Shadey own go come add join wetin i dey face? No lele. I rang baba and his Intel was, Nothing could be done to Shade spiritual as her fate had to be decided by myself and not a spiritual thing. Baba asked me to remember that anything i wanted to do concerning her case, before i started anything i should bath that soap he gave me ‘Ose Ashegbe’ a soap that whatever i did would not be traced to me or if it was, it would be overlooked. Again i thanked baba and cut the call it had to be tonight. I called Shaggi and asked him and his boys to bring Shade for me lowkey as they’d done with Jago. As expected Shagii was up to it. He called me back 5hours later and said Shade had been dropped off at Baba’s Coven. Wagbayi i shot back from my end of the phone and in no time i was with Baba. They brought Shade in with blindfolds and when i got there she was still blind folded so she aint know a thing. Then As soon as i touched down Baba’s coven, Baba no even send he was attending to his other customers bit then his assistant helped move shade to the permanent site.

I asked Shade if she knew where she was, no no no she answered back fearfully.

Me: you sabi who dey toookkk

Shade: ( even if She did, fear no let am answer yes)
No no no no.

Very good my Gee. I beckoned on Baba’s assistant and asked him to leave us alone. I gave him some change for Lord gin and he bounced out. I took the veil of Shade’s face and she looked shock. The werey still wan dey form no wahala jarey. Then i brough out my favorite weapon, the golf stick, and i ha brought a hammer along for support. self-service!!!! I missed the first swing then Shadey knew the end was near bit no I didn’t plan to kill her. self-service self-service self-service self-service!! Both the hammer and the golf stuck i dislocated all the joints in Shade’s body, I’m saying the visible joints

The wrist
The shoulder joint
the joint in the elbow area
The joints that connected her knees

I made enough damage but she didn’t die. Because that wasn’t what i was aiming for bit then the sharp cry and pain. I called shaggi to return her back or leave her where she’d be found. But before then i told her I didn’t see her coming out of that one.

Rick9:
Shade again

Ajeh, that babe na foolish fooooool!!

Short update:
In no time, the flock of officers sat in my lounge, this time they’d release me from the pinning but i was still in cuffs. Then i faced what I’d call a panel of corrupt officers who read my crime to me and proceeded to carry out judgment right there in my own home wtf!



Ist officer:

Oga wey the dog wey dey bark? You don go lock am abi? God save am i foorr use bullet finish una two idiat yaho yahoo boi.

2nd officer:
But oga this house no bad oo. Chai see as e col

1st officer
Haffar, Beer no dey this house

Me:
E dey

Then one of the officers disappeared into the kitchen and brought out cans of Heinekens, well that wasn’t my brand, Jago loved this particular beer alot and after his death, i had alot of it in my fridge so yeah. This officer’s downed can after can and then one of the officers or I’d say the one that led the team started proceedings and in between answering questions and deciding on a two million naira bribe, i got to understand that Shade made a formal report that i was a ritualist and that prompted the federal robbery as i was in cuffs and they were asking for two million.

Shade hit first verry very cool

Who could be at the door this time? But I wouldn’t dare go close to the door or try to open. I mean it, i was barking really loud. Like a dog that was supposed to be killed for 404 but managed to escape from his carnivorous looking assassins who wanted dog meat but loosegaurded the kill. Or I’d say i barked and raved on like a dog on rabbies. But all that didn’t scare whoever was at the door. I no just send, I couldn’t even move. One amusing thing was, sometimes i threw a fit and I’d remain conscious and aware of my environment, but at other times i threw a fit in blackouts.

1st officer:
Open this door now before i come inside come gibe you bullet make you chop.

(Loud knocking continues)

2nd officer:
Shawn sir oga me dog dey there ooo.

1st officer:
Ehn ehn who hin wan take dog dey scare. Dog and bullet mumu which on fast pass?

2nd officer:
I just say make i tell you.

Inside, the Barking had seized. I regained mobility and composure. I got up and made for the door. As soon as i unbolted the door, these untrained illiterate officers without a warrant or any identification, one of them pinned me to the floor laying on my chest using his worn out boots to support his stance on my back and pointing his rusty and probably greased 1802 Ak 47.
Sharp Sharp, 3 of them ran up the stairs ransacking my apartment like thieves that came to rob on borrowed guns. E no tey,

2nd officer:
(Calls from the upper Echelon of the house)
Oga, this boy na as dem talk am na hin we meet am

1st officer:
Wetin be that?

2nd officer:
Soap plenty for this up and many many things wey i no fir talk.

3rd officer:
Oga make we dey carry am go station we don get evidence.

1st officer:
(To third officer)
You nooo get sense, person no thief you say make e dey go station. Una see head for their?

3rd officer:
Oga no but

1st officer:
( cuts in)
Oga shut up there oua make una dey come downstairs.

2nd officer:
Okay oga make we carry evidence?

1st officer:
You wan carry am go sell?


In no time, the flock of officers sat in my lounge, this time they’d release me from the pinning but i was still in cuffs. Then i faced what I’d call a panel of corrupt officers who read my crime to me and proceeded to carry out judgment right there in my own home wtf!

At my Bloodied Duplex, i unlocked the door to the main entrance, got inside and sat on my Bloodied Sofa. My mind ran through series of wouldbe thoughts ranging from the life I would’ve lived if i had continued my job search after grad. I probably would have lived an average life, probably earning salaries and steadily planning and achieving things. Not the life I’d have loved but then atleast I’d be happy if at all but here i was with all the money i could acquire and i still made more money to go with but I wasn’t happy, i was stressed and out of the blue, someone started sobbing in the Bathroom. I just use vexx shout as soon as the sobs started going live.

“Oga shut up there joor, shey na town crier you be ni”

Omo e be like say the thing hear me o. She stopped immediately i said that. Na only me come dey wonder if na the code be that or there was more to that sudden silence. I wait wait wait for like one hour e no tokk pim!
Na so i go bath the soap enter sitting room back..
Bark i no Bark i come dey wonder wetin dey sup. Omo that night till the next morning, i no bark. Nothing spiritual related i come dey wonder. I got inside my car as i had somewhere i was supposed to go that morning. I sat there like i hope I don’t go and disgrace myself for the wedding wey i wan attend like this but the thought of using the soap that morning calmed me down. I tapped the Engine Start/ Stop button, car started but shut off almost as immediately it came on. Ahn, this got to be a joke as i recently serviced this ‘Bloddy’ car with my ‘Bloody’ money na. I hit the dedicated button that always brought the car to life again. As expected engine started, wetin i no come expect be say the thing go off again. Back to back as i dey on car e dey off. I commot that Benz enter my Acura, the same shit back to back. Na so i decide say i no go again probably it was one of Baba’s safety measures that he had put in place (remember the poison case at the club) got back inside, but i came in to a setting that wasn’t there previously as i had turned oof the lights and shut off the tv. This time, Tv was on, light sed dey on.. something wey i off. Ajeh my Tv dey cartoon network and i had never ever tuned in or watch that cable station bc i always believed it was for kids. Wait a minute kids?? Hope no be say. Then something funny happened on tv and about 40 unseen kids gave a chorus laughter all at once. It was very audible like they were there in realtime. The car scene, then this. Omo come see beating. Them beat me sotey I collapsed. And when i regained composure, my tv was on the floor badly damaged, and my house was beginning to flood. They must have left the tap open in the bathroom downstairs. I made to stand up, and i started barking like a fool. Then there was a knock on the door