₦airaland Forum

@goodsegs,   
There appears to me a bit of 'wanting some of the green grass next door without carrying on  the added responsibility'.

You can't leave your current GF cos her family treats you well: not inspite of her personal qualities: who wl live wt you 24/7: ur in-laws or ur wife


Then again you are pining away for the moral + psychological support of ur Ex. Na wa o!! E get as he bi.
If those character traits r impt to you, why don't u try developing them in GF afterall she's quite young instead of having 'long-throat'. If that was deemed impossible, then back to the drawing board. 

Personally, my advice is to curtail any wedding plans till you're certain which path is to be travelled.

Make up your mind what's impt prayerfully and be happy wt what u settle with, warts n all.

Oju ko koro wl only tear up a good thing in your hands.   

This seems a tricky scenario.
A thorough heart search is needed here.
Take some timeout from both women and do some soul searching.
There is no use taking some lady down the marital route whilst pining away for another. It leads to a life of regret for not only you but all affected ladies and their secondary relationships. Examples abound around us.

Personally alarm bells start to ring if there is little by the way of career compatibility. If ur present GF moans about you being ambitious, I'ld worry. What trips you about her then, bedmatics or being a food queen??

2ndly, r u sure what is keeping your fixation on ur ex, is the past experiences shared? What do u envisage a relationship wt her presently, wl be like??: even if rosy, do u have the mettle to withstand opposition from her parents??


Prayerfully make ur decisions I'ld implore.

I did mention that it takes a lady to recognise a g'man, no use casting ur pearls before swine.

Mugu or maga, a g'man will be seen as one and respected as one.

How many times have we heard pple being described as the perfect g'men years or decades later.
It's a nice aroma that transcends time.

Eya!!, pele o

Get a hobby,
Exercise!! particularly this time of the year   
Register to be a volunteer
Get another degree
Get involved in your local community issues or be a moderator on NL. 

After a bowl of eba n draw soup, belch like a typical Naija man ( shows he's enjoyed the meal, for uninitiated ), rub your tum and say " es, u na go marry me??, I like u, u like me, we dey good bperepe togeda ". How for do?


In reality, thoughtful stunning n innovative is the way to go: no nasty surprises though.

Commitment issues going on ??

She must have felt there was a future in being with u, not a booty call scenario.

What r ur reasons ?

Surely believe so, that's why I'm still holding out.

Don't need ur money, ur swagger, bravado, connections, ( oops,, joystick)
Just you, your gentle ways, odd quirky quotes, smart intellectual analysis, honest village sense, playfulness capped with a God-fearing base,

And by the way, the initial list would be a welcome  addition.

Of course I would love it to be so, I'm a woman ain't I. 

Principled, Upstanding, courteous,enlightened, great composure.
Knows how to treat a woman good.

It takes a gentlewoman, a lady not a tramp, to appreciate a gentleman.
Yes to the question, women like g'men if they are cut from the same cloth; all about compatibility isn't it


Pull open the doors, pull out the chair, take your coat off and have a quick whiff of his nice tasteful aftershave.
Let the 'evening' begin. 

Be happy for her.
One has to be careful though, as relatives Wl want to pile on more pressure, simply be strong and remain occupied with your vision.

Depending on your relationship preceding the announcement, simply avoid platitudes, backhand comments or playful digs from stirrers both family and friends as they will abound in circumstances like these: pple have an uncanny desire to upset others particularly when living unfulfilled lives.


Life's too good for all that n wish the couple well.

Definite pre-nups done at least a few weeks with video coverage, so no one comes up later wt ' under duress' claims. Detailed wt who gets what and ensuing child(ren) custody issues.

I don't see it as being an easy way out of a messy marriage, but man must to shine eye well well.

A girl who's got problems with signing pre-nups (as it remains fair and takes into account punitive measures for the straying partner in the event of gross infidelity) smells like a gold-digger to me and vice- versa.

Get it water- tight and applicable in several jurisdictions.

Thanks Seun for providing this forum, more vaseline or Jergens to your elbows

Shame about the B Haram bombs going off. Simply breeding a greater level of tribal n religious tension.
Condolences go to the affected families.

190, how did the yuletide go for?

Rage01: you are yet to suggest how to get married in 1 yr. Just elaborated on obstacles.

All ears pls.

Hello everyone, rage01 has a point in his summary. I feel its location specific.hence this is noticed more in NGR. In diaspora, there is a similar problem of financial instability, takes about 18-24 months to settle down properly in a new environment except you are ready to be performing begging rounds at homes of relatives n friends. For those who are determined to travel the straight n narrow way n not get involved in shady shenanigans, focus is on building your career.
Double-edged sword of success is a lack of readiness to settle for less than your social status after all the years of sacrifice with someone you suspect to be a potential leech.


Double jeopardy, God help us!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Despite the above, some still do get successful relationships going, but one wonders about the sacrifices involved.