The silence and ineptitude demonstrated by the powers that be, is intolerable.

Something credible should be done..

By the way of harnessing the energy of the untold horror of visualising these pictures on a somewhat regular basis--- sign an online petition to United Nations if African Union is powerless to muscle in till the Nigerian Authorities are seen to be doing their best to curb this genocide.



.

ebbo:
Those who attack communities under any guise are as barbaric as those who mount roadblocks to kill unsuspecting passersby in retaliations. Both acts are inhuman and incompatible with the vision of tolerance and pluralism shared by all men and women of peace and goodwill.

As long as perpetrators of those killings are allowed to go unpunished, we are simply rewarding lawlessness and impunity. No perpetrator deserves to go free no matter his position. No victim deserves to suffer irrespective of the faith he professes, the language he speaks, or the political cause he supports.

Government alone has the responsibility to end this tragedy, by any means necessary. It is better to change security chiefs everyday than to have a single Nigerian unjustly murdered. I understand Nigeria is paying the price of systemic decay that has started long ago, but those in authority today must convince Nigerians that they have what it takes to reverse this decay.

All that our people want is for the killings to stop, so that no community, no family and no individual will have to go through these tragedies again. Because in the end, no amount of prayers or press release will stop those killings, only firm actions will; sending a strong message to all perpetrators that there is a huge price to pay for their crimes against the good people of this country.

Totally agree


WHen will a group stylised after #BBOG be raised..

Certain there is enough intel on ground to present facts n figs to the intl committee in Brussels!!




.

Wich kin tshirt she con wear??

Congrats by the way

TonyeBarcanista:
She is now fat

??On birth control pills

Given Dr Demuren's achievements in the past and history of being a strict stickler to rules n regulations; its a surprise this has come about only now in GEJ's shambolic govt.
I can only wish Dr D well in his future endeavours.
Seems like its time to take to the roads and avoid air travel in Naija.

bukatyne: Doe-eyed, you don't get the gist of my post at all. A man should be ashamed to say that his wife made him neglect his parents! Even women who seem to have the lower hand so to speak still find ways to help their parents. If your wife is sooooooooooooo evil and doesn't want you to go near your parents, does she monitor your calls? Can she monitor all the money he spends? If he has an opportunity to visit around his parents' home, can't he 'sneak' in and visit them? A 16yr old girl/boy will be able to sneak to his/her lover's house, buy recharge card/valentine gifts, call him/her and a grown bottom man going to work daily can't find ways to keep in touch/help his parents? That's bull raised to the power of infinity!

I concur.

However, that's a man that's responsible and honest.
The man, I referred to are the "wayo bobo" making out to his family, his wife takes his salary off him.....

The wife who has an adversarial attitude to her inlaws will never know this, till its too late.

And as Chidyke77 has suggested some men make out that they think from their wives' booties.

.

bukatyne: So the man is a baby that doesn't know what is good for him or the wife would tie his legs if he decided to see them or cease network if he try to call or freeze his account if he wants to send money. A typical nigerian man claims to be the head and a MAAANNN and a 'mere' woman can twist him round like a ring on a little finger but such a 'strong' woman can't influence the man to do something good. If the man does something good, he is a man etc but when he messes up, then the evil wife who is a 'mere' wife and has no right to drop a PIN while Oga is at home suddenly develops and acquires the powers to stop the husband from doing the right thing!

My beloved Niger, I hail thee!

Bukatyne chillax.....
Truckpusher has said it.

I laugh when I hear girls declaring war on MIL or In laws generally even before the wedding day.
Yes, some wives need to have the milk of human kindness flow through their veins
And be more empathetic not just sympathetic.

However, I've observed that some wives have inherently acquired a bad name, as not all are bad...... simply quite foolish.

His family members know your uncompromising attitude towards them, some untoward, sometimes saucy comments made to ur In laws.
Though the wife may be unaware of the husband's lack of responsibility to his pple, at the time, **he's not dropping allowee but makes out behind you.... that you n your children consume his salary: when actually its the runs girls n yeye club friends **

Culture has it.... she'll be blamed
Unfair as it is...... but that's the terrain.

So I smh, when a man treats his family badly particularly in the open view of the public
And the wife rather than calm him down.... is laughing, feeling vindicated.

What she forgets, the same behavior may be meted out to her.....
Sometimes so soon after.
Then.... who does she run too
Same family members, she laughed at a short while ago.


Learn to choose ur battles is my advice to the new "MRS".

.

From my point of view...
It's multifactorial......

1) job stresses
2) family commitments
3) "In-law syndrome"
4) societal structure and slant
5) relative independence of the Seniors involved
6) Miscellaneous

A short summary may surmise my observations.


A young hustling mid to senior level executive jet-setting round the world, would not have the physical time to care for his parents.
But I hear you think, ...... let him put something or structure in place!

Rightly so, if he's got a family, parents could come over on visits and interact with their grandchildren....
Alas, wifey is rather no-nonsense, overworked with 3 toddlers under 5: a 9-5pm job and Mama who wants her meals prepared freshly with no oil..** doctor said, its not good for her health**,..........
he's hardly around to act as referee.............

and in order for peace to reign, sacrifices that offer, missing a chance at generational family building.

He offers a Seniors home.... but parents Tufiakwa the idea... "In our culture, its a taboo.... Did I leave with foster parents whilst training you...is the reprimand".



So merrily, they return back to the villa in the village.



The years go by, Mama n Papa have relied a little too heavily on the goodwill of neighbours and other family members. Ill health unfortunately comes knocking. The once amiable helpers become rather disgruntled though over the years, they have been blessed by your generous gifts in appreciation for their help.

With no logistics in place and physical structures in disrepair and falling apart... the (grand)children are in private schools.... fees are rather heavy. The task ahead seems rather gigantic financially. Somehow your contemporaries "at home" shake their heads at the obvious seams falling apart in your once coveted and admired life tapestry representing one's perceived success.............


We can all come to our conclusions and profer alternative actions at varying stages.

Action points:-

Try to prepare either logistically or
set a trust fund ** sth is coming up in Lagos, I'm told**for the day the Seniors will need all that help.
If estates are then disposed off, to aid their healthcare needs, there's no feeling of inadequacy.

You were once dependent on them, life is a cycle, they'll be dependent on you.
Perform as much as you can responsibly to their care.


My 2 cents

Seems a little confusing to me....
The author could do with a little more definition.

Love is storge, eros, phileo or Agape
Or according to modern media, ....... some degree of infatuation.

So which of these variations of love is being addressed in each stanza of the write-up

Dede1: One of the most idiotic aspects of the speech was the silly attempt to compare WWII with Britain-Nigeria\Biafra civil war. In WWII the battles were fought by independent countries and when the war ended, the combatants went back to their countries to rebuild and re-establish as they wished without little or no hindrance from opposing combatants.

However in the case of Nigeria\Biafra, the combatants remained in the same country and the so-called victors made sure vanquish never saw the rays of Sun again. Yet this goofy old fellow wants the Biafrans to forget. What a lapper.

The 1st paragraph doesn't hold water...... for most eastern European countries till the mid- noughties. Pls correct that impression.


Let peace reign.

Guys n Gals,
Some CRITICAL reasoning is needed here,
Not only personal preferences or allusions, which are sometimes shortsighted.
This is an educational forum not just for "laughs"


The thread read...... why do reasonable people elope

It's a question seeking reasons behind an action deemed a societal taboo carried out by people deemed "reasonable"?

Let's offer reasons n solutions not biased judgments.

Thanks.

In matters like this, the word of revelation should be confirmed in your spirit, as God is not a god of confusion.

For clarity set urself apart and wait on God.

Absence of a confirmation thereafter, indicates its a word from the flesh.


**already suspect it is anyway..... but need confirmation**

.

Go Bro.....
Go get gold!!!!
We're cheering u on!!!!!

.

alexwrld: Very well said

I have suffered the pain and embarrassment of the events that took place after my wife and I eloped. But there was no other way.....we'd have been killed in broad day light.

Congrats Alex.
U took that decision then based on the need to preserve your lives
and those unborn at the time.

I'm glad its worked out well for you.


There's a basic misunderstanding of the reasoning behind elopement..... and there are varying degrees of "elopement".

Issues reflect differently depending on cultural, environmental or generational influences and response will differ, given the specific situation.

For those who allude to the ever important role of parents or forebears, are we to say that parents or elders are completely error-free. Haven't we observed scenarios whereby parents, many years later, apologize for their ill advice due to misconceptions at the said time.

There should be a wholesome discussion with mediation in place, and that takes a lot of maturity and conviction in the one you love. This should singularly sieve away malingerers and infatuated enfants.

But if reasonable avenues fail, elopement may be an option. Despite that avenue being used, lines of communication should be kept open, to ensure ongoing discussion.


Life is too sweet for all this wahala.
So each case should be judged on its own merits.

God be with us all.

^^^

How u dey?

In the absence of any medical issues... chromosomal problems and potential issues...... kini big deal??

What would u say to Eki and Pawpaw......*hope I got their names right*

.

Idowuogbo:
outta anger? u high? If na man do una dat kian tinz na, press go carry am sey dem don k-solo u. abeg! go for anger management classes b4 entering any open/closed relationship mehn...

ID
Merci beaucoup. Très beaucoup!!!
Violence shouldn't be tolerated, regardless of sex of person.
Lest it be a kitchen knife or the mortar next time!!!

.

Over the years, you have honed your IQ....
now its time to hone up your EQ in relationship terms.

Go with the flow
Go easy with the intense attitude!!!!
Keep a careful watch on things
And be prayerful if you're into such.

Identify ways both your career goals and emotional goals can be attained whilst having this relationship and guide along as such.
Place your cards on the table, so she doesn't think you're stingy.

And have a great time while at it.

Step 1: ask her out for lunch.... and then take it from there.

Keep us updated...............

Having followed the above posts...
I believe there has to be a definition of

1) Maturity of the parties involved
2) Validity of the reasons against the union
3) The societal slant or cultural set, they hope to be far removed from: to reduce the constraining or limiting effects
4) Timing of the event

An example:
A much older couple who face poorly qualified antagonism against their union may well deem elopement as an option, given their ages, as compared to a couple barely out of their teens who have no means of livelihood, if all mediation efforts have proven unsuccessful.


The older contributors will have memories of friends or relatives who have lost a potential good spouse on account of listening to family advice. These same pple get maligned by the same family members when there's no clear indication, they'll be leaving singlehood anytime soon, as the years go by.

Parental blessings and family cohesion is important. But what's more important is not letting those factors take precedence and priority over your innate happiness.
You only have yourself to blame, whatever the outcomes.


Overall, each case has to be judged on its own merit.

A sweeping generalized criticism or judgment depicts a lack of knowledge in these matters.... whether experiential or observational.

Suggest any of the restaurants by the Leeds train station....
If others are game

Preceding the dating period:

Set conversations based on reality not expectations
Early sex education, Definitely by 8-9yrs
Pitch conversation at appropriate level
Discuss pros n cons of relationships, se..x, raging hormones etc
Regular updates on the front whilst encouraging her with her studies
Make her responsible and accountable





On her starting to date:


Don't be the nerdy daddy..

Don't spy on her... give some credibility and enhance her responsibility

Be firm and reasonable

Go shopping or have cinema dates with her... treat her like a little princess then she has a pre-set expectation.

Set times for dates with emphasis on school work.

Invite her circle of friends over... PJ party, listen and advise as appropriate.... more likely to be mum role.

*****more to come******

.

Ryabcool: true talk. In all honesty, I for one do not support him collecting her money and gifts. But this blame should be directed the most at girls who started the trend. If African(Nigerian) girls didn't start the trend, this guy's moral values wouldn't have allowed him come to this forum to ask the stupid question on this thread. I do not see African women stopping this anytime soon.

Two wrongs don't make it right!!!!



@ op.....
Pls leave the chick, make she carry go.....
Stop receiving gifts and things before the situation escalates beyond your control.


Next thread will be......

"Help, Help!! I'm marrying my benefactress tomorrow: and I don't know why"

Focus
Clear achievable goals
Humility or Empathy
Get as much knowledge as possible re:subject matters.
Continuance with grass-root aiming for good representation
Thick skin, impervious to insults
War cabinet or circle of close delegates
Ability to "work the phones".... or compromise with other warring factions
Mentors
Spiritual guidance..... not ever to be forgotten



........... are only some of the skills acquired in my various appointed posts.

.

jigawatts:

That was a false rumour spread by pple we dont know, We are still hoping and praying to God that we find him .... We've not lost hope .... God dey.
BTW he is ma dad.

God continue to strengthen and comfort you n your family as you await his return.

Power remain uppermost
What about ....personnel

Getting suitably qualified and motivated personnel who don't need to be pushed to perform their duties and are not looking to run the business dry..

.

Hmm
Think there are a few corrections here.
"Fall in love".... don't think so! That takes years in a partnership or marriage. I feel the word is used liberally.

Phileo or Eros, definitely!!!
Above are posts of ladies fighting over celebrities and laying claim to them.
Possibly never communicated or set eyes physically on these men. But here they are throwing pillows and popcorn at each other.

If there's some communication, internet, telephony etc.... conversations can help present a sketch of personalities.For those with a false front, inconsistencies will be evident and hopefully picked on by the other.

There's been comments on fake pictures, fake jobs or family associations....
My take on that: Reduced focus on the physical appearance whilst more on the character makes info gathering more worthwhile. Whilst at it, get as much information as possible. The beauty of this format is you don't get beclouded by physical yearnings whilst carrying out your due diligence.

The unfortunate stories of "internet relationships" going awry keep one observant; but I feel this mode of meeting pple has had bad publicity. There are many cases of "physical relationships" that have ended in murder, deceit, rape, fraud and other vices: but this mode hasn't been brow-beaten.

It goes without saying, maturity and sometimes age play a big factor.....
Questions on current affairs as an example gives you a view of their knowledge, diction but more so their slant or views on life.

Of course, all has to be done prayerfully.

^^^^^^

Yeah, those help with the superficial layers of the dermis......

From within, lots of water, fresh fruits: excellent source of antioxidants, smiles not scowls and minimize stress in daily living,I think.

Drastic measures.... botox,lunch time face lift, full face lift and specific repairs to breas.t, tummy butt.s and thighs.

Aaaaaarrrrrgggghhhh.........
Should simply ignore you........



For the purposes of clarity,
With reference to your initial post,
Let's assume the desirable women are the good girls,
as traditionally taught or "formatted",

Whilst the women with less desirable qualities are the bad girls
who need to use the devious skills and caprices
to con the unsuspecting male species

Now, we're on the same page.........
Your theory still doesn't sit well!!!!

The caveat to this is a clear redefinition of types of ladies.
.

Guys, let's take pity on her: what she did was abominable..
But we are not in full possession of all the facts.

Simply glad she's alive.
Hopefully, she has learnt to separate fact from fiction and has a good support system in place.
She runs the risk of another mental breakdown, more so with a theme song in place around campus!!!

All these make-belief programmes, society n peer pressure can affect a vulnerable heart.


My advice to her.....

"You've got many years ahead of you,
Don't waste them blindly on another homo sapiens
Rise to your full potential"

.

Bro,
True talk...


But, hmmm,
How are you combating the effects of aging, personally??

Thanks in advance, for helpful hints.

Marvel, Marvel, Marvel.......
U don't fail to be a MARVEL ....

In a silly way, more like!!!
Where do I start from.......


Of course, pple look different.....
As long as no Photoshopped pics are on display...
Have at the back of your mind,
Those may be ............
fake eyelashes,
fake eyes... thanks to contact lens
fake lips
fake hair
fake bo.obs
fake butts

fake 6-packs or biceps ,"third leg" ( for the chaps)
Just name it....


Someone help me here!!!!!!! PLEASE

In response to op....
I stand by my words.

A perusal through NL romance topics....
If I'm allowed to use NL as a fair rep of Nigerian youth for the purposes of "research".
Not scientific, I know!!!

Show 1 recurrent theme.....

Guys find it difficult settling:
1rily and largely due to finance: whether its a gold-digger GF or less than supportive family
2rily due to other factors which include poor compatibility with the available ladies, infidelity or cheating, poor home-keeping skills, hygiene or social habits etc.

So making a sweeping statement as you did earlier, shows lazy fact-finding abilities.....

If girls are all "bad", its rather amusing that a popular quote here is.... "bad chicks get married before the good girls".