₦airaland Forum

The adoption thread

@ sexkillz,

Thank you for both the advice + compliment.

M44,
Wetin be una problem.
I get blanket heating on, so no cold in the morning.

U neva answer my question?

Maturity n trust in both parties.
Other factors may include

1) not the kind to get fazed by flashing money.
2) probably may not have slept wt u initially. Need to complete my studies, bla, ,bla
3) most of these aristos simply looking for mouth cleaning wipes, hardly ever serious.
4) not catch u fooling around

Thanks guys,

You're right, sexkillz. Need to take in the fact that there wl be 2 of us not just me.
And the consequences thereof.

But he's so cute,, yeah changing diapers r not so cute.
I simply worry about him being tossed from home to home.

The facilities arent simply there to provide support as an interested observer:
otherwise that may have been a suitable alternative.

Why not?

@ Mynd_44,

What r your reasons though??
I've got friends who either run orphanages or heavily involved in their administration.
So I can understand helping out like others have said.
But why go as far as adopting?  ?

@ Cuddlemii,
I understand ur stand. But u need to have seen this little boy, simply so cute.
Knowing his history considering his short time on earth, its mind-baffling. Parents toss him around from friend to friend. Spends most of his time glued to a TV with no interaction. Parents r alcohol n drug abusers. Presently, his older sister's whereabouts is unknown. Wl u wait till marriage to help that little child out of his misery. Such an intelligent cutieee.

@ Tosinville,

Simply asking why a young man would want to adopt a child when he could have his own if he wanted to.
The way guys go on NL, they don't seem to have a lack of offers.

@ bandiejay,

What records r u talking about?
Assuming that you mean paperwork, not some illegal baby smuggling / home for unmarried mothers that was rife a few years ago

Definitely, there wl be records. His paternal grandparents r also in contact presently, as he's with fosters. So no underhand dealings going on. Shame his family can't be there for him.

Thanks for ur reply.

@Mynd_44.
Permit me to ask,
Why would u want to

Deep stuff, good read
Thanks

I saw a cute 2 yr old boy today. Chances r he may be up for adoption cos his parents and grandparents are considered unfit. Heart strings were pulled.
Wondered what NLanders think.

Unmarried with no children woman with an adopted son:::

(I hope to have my own children by the way.
No fertility issues either.)[color=#770077][/color]

That's sure to drive away any potential suitors.

He's so cute.

Wl appreciate the 9ja take on this.
Pls serious comments.

Nope,

Interesting paraphernalia,
Hmm

Thanks,
Nice reminder despite the hassles of life.
Still laugh,
Reminds me of Kirk Franklin's song,  'smile'

@buju-234,

You sleep around,she sleeps around, you call that a relationship ,

Open relationship, friends with benefit etc r pretty much temporal n are not the issues under discussion here.

Long term commitment, Integrity, trust r the buzz words.

Wanted a fu, ckbuddy, simply go to a 'club' n get to choose the best of the bunch.

To err is human, I understand that. What I don't agree to is the mentality, 'it is ok for the man to play away matches.' I understand its a perennial problem from the days of our grandmothers or earlier, but we can change the dynamics. It starts with the thought processing. You think its wrong, you are more likely not to do it.

Let's be a little altruistic,
Man meets woman, likes what he sees and vice versa:
Pls note: No financial gains in mind.
Finds she may be older, but quite young at heart, not trying to 'form' to impress him.

But they do share quite a few common interests,

Let the difference in age become a chasm btw them??

@ Mynd_44

No one has a full in-depth personal comprehensive understanding of ones inner workings.

The journey of life is one of self discovery, many at times.

^^^^^^^^^^

@tellwisdom

Absolument!!, La femme bonne,
En effet, la femme obstine ou dogmatique est  le pederaste ou homosexuelle?? 

Taisez-vous!!! S'il vous plait. Pro bono publico!!!!!


 

@ Mynd_44,
I understand the bit about having an adventurous approach n open to trying new things.

The mandatory list r things I hold dearly, life principles or tenets that are not dependent on time-induced changes.
Not necessarily physical attributes or intellectual quests.

Eg your significant other may not ski or a have a collection of degrees or even know the difference BTW Manet or Monet. But there should be an inquisitive attitude n need to keep improving. Eg I don't ballroom dance but would love to learn. Similarly some Naija musicians r definitely not Schubert or Kenny G to me, still I can appreciate their genre.

Like Aaliyah once sang, age is nothing but a number.

You meet, you click exceedingly well, pls rock n roll.

This is for the older woman/ younger man scenario. Our community is in favour of this equation being the other way round.

The Nigerian community home n abroad frowns at cougars. Guess what!!  a 10 yr age difference is not relevant at the age of 75 /85: is it

A slight pause when considering fertility issues, if the lady is well past her prime , but there have been couples who have married in their youth who unfortunately have remained without their own genetic children.

Secondly assisted reproductive techniques is changing the terrain there too. Remember the 60 yr old having a baby a year or 2 ago.
A difficult terrain to navigate, but possible if there's maturity, trust n patience exhibited by both parties.

Times are changing, and pretty fast too.
10 years ago, carrying on a successful marriage across the Atlantic or Pacific was considered fairly impossible, today it is fast becoming the norm with the advent of internet connectivity and the world being a global village.
If Branson has his way, holidays will be on Planet Mars, Venus etc. The mantra is" the quality not quantity of time spent together as a couple is what matters".

Basically, all I'm saying is extend your horizons and don't let ageism determine who you fall and stay in love with.

Don't  Facebook


   

@ op, Suppose u r right to a degree.


Got to live with this person for the rest of ur life, hopefully
Men , u got to choose well.

The harder bit is making yourself into what they wl desire most,
That one dey quite difficult.

Realistically though, pruning ur list to mandatory and optional is the way to go.
On the mandatory list, a max of 5 things u simply can't do without, from a very mature point of view is appropriate.

This advice is a bit prescriptive but helps.

@ buju-234
whats good for the goose should be good for the gander,

Its acceptable for the man to sleep around, why do guys here on this forum get a mini heart attack when its the woman sleeping around

We shouldn't tolerate sleeping around, male or female.

(strolls in, looks around, strolls out)

Tell wisdom,

Doe-eyed to be correct.

Doe - female deer, remember 'sound of music'

Eyed - open to permutations.

Largely facial architecture.

The wisdom part of your name needs a little recharge, it seems.

 

What is he really worried about?

Name calling, being violent or sleeping wt her

For all the above, simply vocalize his apologies and await events

Finito

No, they are not difficult to understand.

Simply wired differently.
Males think in a 'factual' or in an existential manner. Women are more relative.
Men are more into cause n effect, women are more  into relativity.
Men feel validated by achievements and obtaining goals, women by their relationships

Could go on n on.

Solution: talk till your lips go blue. Lips I said, not some other body part. 

Identify her thinking pattern on the platform of her personality mix given her experiences.
Now that's difficult, no mathematical equation has been created for that feat yet.

Patience, understanding needed whilst u get to the bottom of this, see it as a goal that needs to be obtained.

Rewards::: plenty, plenty. 

Downsides:: might need to keep updating, remember the experience bit in the equation. 

By the way,

Goodluck.

^^^^^^^


Glad to be of help

@ Orikinla,

Thanks for ur piece.

To offer over 30s: some frolicking wt some young chap or to be some aristos 3, 8th wife might not be a sweet pill to swallow.

Do concur that in the event of 2 like-minded pple meeting, age is often an insignificant factor.

However, What's the guarantee that the gigolo or cicisbeo ( if better behaved) is not hanging around for financial gain and hiding a young model away in the corner basically being a 'rentboy'.

In summary, companionship and trust is the name of the game, there r machines available to provide the rhythm resonance depth, what have u, that over glorified d, rks do.

The potential hitch is the younger Romeo maybe no different to the older ones.

Double jeopardy