₦airaland Forum

@Imoh byron(A.K.A Enchanted BRAT)

GOD DON PUNISH U ALREADY, U NO GET BRAIN, 4 JOKE SECTION? haba,

CURSED CHOKE B*T*H

yea

WHEN MY AC IS ON N D WHOLE ROOM IS SEALED UP, I BREATH VERY WELL, NO ISSIUES, NO MUCH COLD

BUT I CANT BREATH WELL WHEN AN ENVIRONMENT IS SEAL UP WITH NO VENTILATION, I FIND IT DIFFICULT,I HAVE NOTICED THIS MOST TIME I GO PLACES, WHEN I FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WITH MY BREATHING, I ASK IF THE PLACE IS SEALED UP? CLOSING WINDOWS,DOOR,NO VENTILATION,JUST FAN BREEZE? AND THEY CONFIRM YES, IF THERE IS POWER FAILURE WHILE I AM SLEEPING IN MY HOME, I NOTICE AFTER 20-30MINS AND OPEN ROOMS FOR VENTILATION

DOES IT MEAN, I HAVE RESPIRATORY PROBLEMS?

WHEN AMIN AN ENVIRNMENT THAT IS CHOKING,STUFFY?

I FIND MY SELF SUFFOCATING?, I HARDLY GO TO HIGHLY CONJESTED PLACE? BIG CONCERT? DENSELY POPULATED ENVIRONMENT,LOW ORGANISE SEMINAR IN CLOSE DOOR,?MEANING, IF I NOTICE THIS STUFFING ISSUES, I LEAVE THE PLACE IMMEDIATELY

FROM RECORD,THOUGH I HAVE NEVER FAINTED,I HAVE BEEN TO NIGHT OF BLISS - NATIONAL STADIUM BUT MANAGE TO STAY AND I HAVE ATTENDED MANY OTHER EVENT DENSELY POPULATED?

DOCTORS?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

AM I HEALTHY ENOUGH?COS I AM PHYSICALLY FIT? ONLY DIS ISSUE? DONT MIND MY WORDS BUT I NOTICE A ROOM OR AN ENVIRONMENT IS STUFFY AFTER 3-5MINS WHEN I AM IN,

IS MY AIR-CONDITIONAL(AC ALWAYS ON) IN THE OFFICE N MY HOME AFFECTING RESPIRATORY SYSTEM?
OR IS IT LACK OF EXERCISE? I RARELY DO THIS, NO TIME?

No wonder I'm so tired, I've been blaming it on age, poor blood,lack of vitamins, air pollution, saccharin, obesity, dieting, and other maladies that make you wonder if life, really is worth living. But I
found out it ain't that. I'm tired because I'm over-worked.

1. The population of this country is 4 million.
2. 1 million are retired.
3. That leaves 3 million to do the work.
4. There are 1 million in school and college.
5. That leaves 2 million to do the work.
6. 250,000 are unemployed and 750,000 are employed by the Government.
7. That leaves 1 million to do the work.
8. 200,000 are in the armed forces, Aer Rianta and Aer Lingus,leaving 800,000 to do the work.
9. 200,000 are employed by the county council leaving 600,000 to do the work.
10. There are 420,000 people in hospital and 179,998 in prison.
11. That leaves 2 people to do the work.

You and me.

And you're sitting on your azz reading this.

No wonder I'm so tired!!

A housewife takes a lover during the day,
while her husband is at work.
Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.
Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet.

The boy now has company.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy
and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "Ill tell."
Man: "How much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy,
"Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!"
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says, "$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to over-charge your friends
like that. That is way more than those two things cost.
I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and
makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and
closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that sh*t again."

BUL -HAHAHA ----BU HAHAHA

is nt funi @ LL

20 buck hooker
A man's walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows.
It's a hooker. He'd never been with a hooker before.
"Twenty bucks," she says.
He decides what the heck, it's only twenty bucks.
They're going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them.

It's a police officer. "What's going on here, people?" asks the officer.
"I'm making love to my wife," the man answers indignantly.
Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know."
"Well," said the man, "neither did I until you shined that light in her face."

How Sex Began
How Sex Began


In the Garden of Eden, As everyone knows, Lives Adam and Eve, Without any clothes.

In this garden, Were two little leaves,
One covered Adam's, One covered Eve's.

As the story goes on, Nevertheless to say, The wind came along, And blew the leaves away.

At the sight, Adam did stare, there was Eve's treasure All covered with hair.

And wonder came, Under Eve's eyes,
As Adam's thing, Started to rise.

They found a spot, That suited them best,
A nice big tree, Where they began to rest.

Her legs spread wider, And wider apart,
While thrill after thrill, Came into her heart.

The head of Adam's thing, Peeked into the hole, And filled her with passion,
Beyond her control.

His thing did slide, And Eve's treasure,
Was all wet inside The joy was good,
She wouldn't let loose, Until Adam's thing, Was all out of juice.

If it was a mans world
Boys will be boys,

If it really was a mans world,

1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the arse and "Cheers for the sex - now f*** off" would pretty much do it.

2. Birth control would come in lager.

3. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29, so it would only occur in leap years.

4. On Mothers Day, you'd get the day off to go drinking.

5. Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer-biceps".

6. Tanks would be far easier to rent.

7. Every woman that worked would have to do so topless.

8. Every man would get four, real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.

9. Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.

10. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen when the ball goes out of play.

11. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to "I love you."

12. The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.

13. "Sorry, but I got wasted last night", would be an acceptable excuse for absence and/or poor time keeping.

14. Lifeguards could remove people from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance.

15. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.

16. Lager would have the same effect as Viagra.

17. "Fancy a shag" would be the only chat up line in existence and it would work every time.

18. Everyone would drive at least 70mph and anyone driving under that would be fined.

19. Dinner break would happen every hour and the boss would hire in strippers and #2000 a night hookers for the duration of those breaks.

20. Harrier jump jets would take you to and from work.

21. Everyone would have a real Light Sabre and a fight to the death would settle any disagreements.

22. Vomiting after 20 pints would actually make you more attractive to the opposite sex.

23. When it was time to leave work, a whistle would sound and you'd get to slide down the back of a Brontosaurus like Fred Flintstone.

Are you a Psycho ??

This is a genuine psychological test.

It is a story about a girl. While at the funeral of her own mother, she met this guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much the dream guy she was searching for that she fell in love with him right then and there but never asked for his name or number and afterward could not find anyone who knew who he was. A few! days later the girl killed her own sister.

Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?

Give this some thought for a while before you check the answer.

Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again.

=============================================

WOW

c 2 gay above

no b me talk am o

i jos help dog molester aristole talk am

Trouble sleeping
The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked.

"Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac."

"I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour."

"That's not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"
===============================
Low self-esteem
A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.

He went there, lay on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better.

The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face.

Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, "Um, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers."
==================================
Loud, mad, or sad
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.

Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"

A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"
====================================
A mental hospital
After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office.

"Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck."

"Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. Haroldson replied. "I hung him up to dry."
=======================================
Crazy people talk
A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.

Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.

The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?" The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing. Patient #1 replied, "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a lightbulb." The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red.

The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself"

Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?"
=======================================
You are a chicken
A man runs to the doctor and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a chicken!"

The doctor asks, "How long has she had this condition?"

"Two years," says the man.

"Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the shrink.

The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, "We needed the eggs."

@FOLLY

R U UNDERAGE? WHICH CLASS U DEY NOW

CLASS 2?

sucking retarded jack f*ck

@clemcykul

there is no point, u also want this to stop right, u no woman no get work, dey can talk till 4ever

4 her to even go n search all my profile n all that, u can c ursef d extend? she no even sabi yab, but, wetin man go do,

thats y i ask her to stop,


she publish my gsm now, babes jos dey call?

u got dat from facebook

hahaha


i cease to insult u from henceforth

u brand it brand or fairly used

10k

Doctor, Doctor
Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at the Pearly Gates. One doctor steps forward and tells St. Peter, "As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hundreds of children." St. Peter lets him enter.
The next doctor says, "As a psychiatrist, I helped thousands of people live better lives." St. Peter tells him to go ahead.
The last man says, "I was an HMO manager. I got countless families cost-effective health care."
St. Peter replies, "You may enter. But," he adds, "you can only stay for three days. After that, you can go to hell."

clemcykul

seeeeeeeeee ursef, mungopark brother
=============
Aristole said dis to herpeople

Oh! no.U've taken your marijuana again?

After Chris Oyakhilome's effort on your life.

Ds were of yours is surely hereditary and genetic.

[s]Tell us.Is your papa that mad man wey dey sleep under Oshodi bridge?[/s][b][/b][color=#006600][/color]

aristole

i kind of like u?

hahahahaha

i have occupy so much in ur mind now

:-x

;d

ITS ALL JOKE SHA

BUT SHE IS TRIPPING ON ME

SHE IS, SHE ENJOY SAYING RUBBISH ON ANY DON FASZY POST IN NL

SHE FOLLOW ME TO EVERY SECTION IN NL

CAN U IMAGINE SHE IS THAT FOOLISH

JOS LEAVE ME N HER

AM JUST WARMING UP FOR MORE

@2Direct - woman wrapper

WHERE IS DAT 29YRS OF AGE EXPERICENCD slowpoke OF NL? I MEAN D SO CALLED DISGRACE TO WOMANHOOD - Aristole?

MY MALE DOG HAS BEEN MOLESTED AGAIN BY HER