₦airaland Forum

@aristole

f**k off, u r a pain on my computer

i go break your head on day, mayb on top table or on top hot plate

* AMBITIOUS : Always ready for a fart

* AMIABLE : Likes to smell others' farts

* ANTI-SOCIAL : Excuses himself and farts in private

* AQUATIC : Farts in bath, then breaks bubbles with toes

* ATHLETIC : Jumps in the air, farts 3 times, and kicks his heels 3 times

* BEWILDERED : Can't tell his own fart from others

* BIG BULLY : Farts louder than others

* CARELESS : Farts in church

* CHILDISH : Farts and then giggles

* CLEVER : Farts and coughs at the same time

* CONCEITED : Thinks he can fart the loudest

* CONFUSED : Face is so much like an ass, fart can't tell which way to go

* CUTE : Smells your farts and then tells you what you were eating

* DAMNED MEAN : Farts and then pulls the covers over his wife's head

* DISHONEST : Farts and then blames the dog

* DISAPPOINTED : Fart doesn't smell

* DUMB : Enjoys other farts, thinks they are his own

* ENVIRONMENTALIST : Farts regularly but is concerned about the pollution

* FOOLISH : Suppresses a fart for hours

* FRESH GUY : Jumps in front of you and then farts

* GROUCH : Grumbles when ladies fart *HONEST : Admits he farted but offers a good medical reason

* IMPUDENT : Farts out aloud and then laughs

* LAZY : Just fizzles

* MASOCHIST : Farts in the bath tub and tries to bite the bubbles

* MISERABLE : Can't fart at all

* MUSICAL : Tenor or Bass, Clear as a bell, smells like shit and sounds like hell

* NERVOUS : Stops in the middle of a fart

* PROUD : Thinks his farts are exceptionally pleasant

* SADIST : Farts in bed, then fluffs the covers

* SCIENTIFIC : Bottles his farts

* SENSITIVE : Farts and then starts crying

* SHY : Blushes when he farts silently

* SLOB : Farts and stains his underwear

* SMART ALEC : Farts when ladies are present

* SNEAKY : Farts and blames it on the dog

* STINGY : Belches to save his ass-hole

* STRATEGIC : Conceals his fart by loud laughter

* THRIFTY : One who always has farts in reserve

* TIMID : Jumps when he farts

* UNFORTUNATE : Tries to fart but shits himself

* VAIN PERSON : One who loves the smell of his own fart

* WHIMPY : Farts at the slightest exertion

* WISE GUY : Farts and asks who shit

little abbey

;d

:-x

@shedo4real

i wan beat low sense comot 4 dis guy ass

@2Direct

post ur own, make i examine ur empty brain

na 4 / 400 u score 4 jamb abi, pele?

retarded joker b*t*h

@shedo4real


u are new here

fire burn ur ass

i 4 break bottle enter dis computer break ur head

FIVE KINDS OF SEX

The first is Smurf Sex.

This happens during the honeymoon; you both keep doing it until
you're blue in the face.

The second is Kitchen Sex.

This is at the beginning of the marriage; you'll have sex anywhere,
anytime. Hence, also in the kitchen.

The third kind is Bedroom Sex.

You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in
the bedroom.

The fourth kind is Hallway Sex.

This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Bleep you!"

There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex.

This is when you get divorced and your wife bleeps you in front of
everyone in court.

One night this guy and his girlfriend were about to go into his
apartment and before he could open his door his girlfriend said,
"Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks
his door."

So the guy says, "Well, give me some examples."

So the girlfriend proceeds to tell him, "Well the first way is, if
a guy shoves his key in the lock, and opens the door hard, then that
means he is a rough lover and that isn't for me.

Then she said, "The second way is if a man fumbles around and can't
seem to find the hole than that means he is inexperienced and that
isn't for me either."

Then she said, "Honey, how do you unlock your door?"

He then proceeded to say, "Well, first before I do anything else, I
lick the lock."

The Sunday School teacher was speaking to her class one Sunday morning
and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven , which
part of your body goes first?"

Suzie raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."

"Why do you think it's your hands, Suzie?"

Suzie replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in
front of you and God just takes your hands first!"

"What a wonderful answer!," the teacher said.

Now, Tommy raised his hand and said, "Teacher, I think it's your legs."

The teacher looked at him with the strangestlook on her face.

"Now, Tommy, why do you think it would be your legs?"

Tommy said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom the other night,
Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was moaning, 'O God, I'm
coming!' And if Dad hadn't had her pinned down, we'd a lost her for sure!!"

Late one night, a woman was walking home when a man grabbed
her and dragged her into the bushes.

"Help me! Help me!" she screamed. "I'm being robbed!"

"You ain't being robbed, " her attacker interrupted.
"You're being raped!"

The woman looked at her attacker as he unzipped his jeans.
"If you're planning on raping me with that," she laughed,
"then I am most definitely being robbed!"

romsky:
sunny y r u stealing from my facebook uploads?

hi all

i 4got 2 introduce dis romsky b4 now

romsky is always drunk n have little psycho probs after signin in NL

pls be so kind to extend ur Sympathy

10x

@Mr blazer

it is good that u express ursef to us b4 u start a joke,

so, my insult is reserved 4 some bonbo clak

cheers, get better jokes ok

[quote author=Ben-10 link=topic=345600.msg4853765#msg4853765 date=1257259909]are you the one talking, Don? [/quote]haba, u surprise

i wonder hw dis guy sabi girl math

@ poster

U R D DEVIL TO COME UP WITH DIS

SEE CALCULATION, WHATS UR SCORE IN MATH(JAMB)

WOMANIZER LIKE U

@studio43

block head wey u get, how u take learn computer sef

i have good stuff

latest vexpa,motorbike
etc

if u need one, jos holla

ladies need dis when dey r 35

na by force

jus choose 1 from here

free visa n ticket to asia

dey r all in menopause, so no worry, just dey climb dey go

if u are in lagos

be ready for this in dis pic

CAN YOU IMAGINE,

9JA COUPLE WENT FOR A THANKGIVING IN CAC CHURCH IN NY - USA, AS THEY ARE PRAYING FOR THEM,

THEY REFUSE TO CLOSE THERE EYES, WHEN THEY NOTICE HANDS TOUCHING D DOLLARS

NA WA O

SEE GAGA

simiad:
It sounds like you're a guy, so keeping this in mind, here we go,

Breakfast

1 cup Oatmeal (Quaker Oats)
1 Boiled Egg (don't eat the yolk)
1 glass orange juice/1 Medium Grapefruit


Snack
Some carrots (3-4 small ones)
1 Apple


Lunch
1 Serving of coleslaw
Chicken
1 slice of wheat bread


Snack
A handful of groundnuts
water


Dinner
Baked chicken
simple salad i.e. lettuce, cucumber, tomato, corn (whatever you like) - 2 cups
1 cup of brown rice
Water


Try that for starters, let me know if you need more,

General Ideas
- Carrot/Apple/Yogurt salad (check online for recipe, but this is a favorite of mine, if you eat with 2 slices of wheat bread, it'll fill you up)
- Eat more fiber
- I eat yogurt everyday (protein), plus milk products as long as it is low/non fat are pretty healthy)
-- limit white stuff (bread, rice, yam, potatoes). With that being said, if you must eat any of the above, choose potatoes over yam, eat ofada rice (isn't manufactured and takes longer to digest unlike white bread, also has some fiber)
- Eat more protein i.e. beans, chicken, FISH (limit red meat, if you can to none at all or once or less a week)
- Eat lots of veggies and fruit (pick grapefruit, oranges, pears, apples over bananas and pineapple for obvious reasons)
- YOU MUST EXERCISE if you don't already (20 or more minutes of daily walking is perfectly enough)
- Veggies - efo riro w/fish, any naija vegetable soup will do, try not to use palm oil in cooking.
- Avoid vegetable oil - try soybean oil instead
- Boil plaintain instead of frying, trying almost ripe, with efo riro and plenty of fish
- Limit fried food, boil or bake instead - fish, potatoes, chicken, etc.
- Make coleslaw w/as little mayo as possible.

*******This is just my own personal diet, nothing professional***

u have done well bross
this will do

@Ben-10 n moonraker

copy cats

opera is ok n , wow!