₦airaland Forum

What does common sense have to do with being a woman. For me no one or anything can remove my mum from my life except death of course. She is why I am here today. She is the reason I thank God everyday. A man who is serious about me will respect my mum and I also expect my mum to respect a man I intend to live with for the rest of my life. Any sign of discomfort from either of them will get the culprit a serious reprimand.


I hope your mum does not show sign of discomfort towards your wife. What will you do if your wife reacts?Throwout her out of your life regardless? Your mother is not human she can do no wrong to anyone. It is your wife that will act first and even if she doesn't, she must endure and act like a robot because she is not human and if she does, she must be a separatist.

KoldKash:
You may never get this.and it's okay for you since you are a woman.but for me,my mother remains an integral part of me(and no one or nothing can ever change that) and must be so admitted by any woman who is serious about us sharing our lives with each other.and there is no other way to deal with this because at the first sign of discomfort around my mother I am on my way out of your life-and that peacefully. It's not sentiment,it's a lifestyle. I hate separatist's.

It is the wife, she is the only person that has a lot to lose na so she must act like a robot

HaneefahRN:
Lolz. Abi o. Yeye.
It's immaturity, this OP for example will most likely not be able to keep a balance in his home. They are the ones that will be using their own hands to attract disorder in the home then start trying to pin the blame on the scape goat of the family, the wife.

Sentiments again


She is my mother! I don't need to explain to you how wonderful she has been to you or anyone else because she is my mother not yours!!! Stop trying to bring how I treat my mother into question, this is not about me. It is about the lack of that relationship between my mum and others. I cannot and will not force others to treat my mother AS THEIR rmother. That relationship does not extend to anyone else except my siblings. The joys of motherhood etc flows from I to her and vice versa. No one is obligated to treat her as their mother except my siblings. If at all you will treat her LIKE she is your mother but she can never be your mother .

My husband mother is like a mother to me, she can never be my mother. There are things my mum will do that I will just get angry or react to and she will understand or she would react to and we will understand whatever comes out of it because of that special relationship BETWEEN US. If it were mother in law, she may never forgive and forget and I may never forget and forgive too. I will always see her as like my mother. It would require more effort to treat her LIKE I would treat my mother, in fact I can't I treat her like I would treat my mother in some if not most cases because she wouldn't understand, may read meaning to it and may cause more wahala sef.

Think like a human being and not with sentiments. Your mother is forever your mother and she can never be mine. Don't force her on anyone Biko


[quote author=KoldKash post=48640261][/quote]

Don't mind them, instead of them to be ashamed that the women in their lives cannot pretend to get on with each other. They are here chatting shit. If you think your wife doesn't deserve to be respected, you better marry your own mother. You won't be the first to do that

HaneefahRN:
The way some guys talk ehn, you would think na only them their mothers matter to or suffered for. The wives fell from heaven to come and be everyone's toy, they can treat anyhow . And yeah, you must be always cool headed and the perfect robot.

What will you do your siblings if they disrespected THEIR mother? The least you could do is to talk to them and if they don't stop, you disown them . You can't beat them up lest you end up in court for assault.

You seem to forget that she does belong to you and your siblings NOT just you.



You guys will be making mouth there

nathdim:
As for me the only person I trust in these life and in the next life is my mum
So no woman no matter how beautiful she is would ever try to downgrade her not even my siblings can try it
So if she likes she better dance to the tune of her music or she leaves

If I hold my mum in high or low esteem, and she goes out and disrespect others including my hubby. Na here I go sit down dey watch. My relationship with her is my relationship with her. She is mother and no one else's!. If at all, she is LIKE a mother to others like my husband And LIKE a mother does not make her his mother!

Quit being sentimental. Your mother is your mother and not mine! And she can never be my mother! It is a fact you don't need emotions to understand it!

KoldKash:
All in all,it boils down to you.if you hold your mum at a low esteem you don't expect others to do any better.

Bla bla bla

Do you know what my mum has done to make me what I am today? You think say na only you your mama dey sacrifice for? Dont think because your mother had to sell pure water and my mum didn't makes her sacrifice greater than my mum's. My mother is special to me just as yours is special to you. My siblings are the only ones who can rule on that not YOU!

Therefore no one should come and expect me to laugh while his mother terrorises me on top say she sacrificed for her son. No woman in her right sense should disrespect her mother in law unless she is mad.
However if mother in law cannot respect herself and husband cannot handle his own mother, they should brace themselves for whatever comes to them. That aside, it would take a woman who doesnt respect her son to attack his wife. Such men should blame themselves rather than the women in their lives

KoldKash:
Never say it in any form for fear of what?

You don't know what some mothers have been through to raise their children.all mothers are not the same,some mothers are super-they paid a very steep price to raise the husband you marry.and no sensible son will give away her mother to be insulted and scorned just to prove he loves his wife-because that's what some wives yearn for-to turn a child away from the mother.until that is achieved,they don't feel loved or cherished.

Maybe I want to be noticed, maybe I am not so dvmb to expect others to revere my mum the way I do hence the reason why she must respect others if she wants them to respect her and vice versa

You should thank me for making you think instead of following others with their blind sentiments


cc koldkash

Gassa007:
Sometimes the way you talk is something else,you just want to be noticed maybe cos of your moniker.You just open your mouth"What's so special about your mum".Just negodu....

God will not save you. Your bigotry will be you greatest undoing. Omo lasan ikeji aja!

247notire:
My dear it's all hate and envy.

The hate won't let them see beyond their nose.

I was shocked to the bones the other day when my good Yoruba friend Farouk described yorubas as shameless, lazy and bad cooks. I had to defend Yorubas against their own person telling him it's too harsh and that he should rephrase the statement to many Yorubas.

This is someone who has been in the SW all his life.

That interaction made me understand that many Yorubas know these things but come here to spill hate out of envy and jealousy.

It's sickening and a real pity.

May God save us all.

Are you mad or what?

Ofemmanu1:
Don't mind em.
Flat.heads enjoys Yoruba foods in the corner of their BQ, but are quick to taunt the foods in public.
Awon omo ale jati-jati.

Dear ignorant thing, we have okro with the and okro soup itself. Also, you are welcome to know that other people including those from Turkey, Senegal erx also take ewedu.

Gracious10:
What I can never ever ever stand is their Green Okro with stew! God forbid!!!
I reject and bind. The sight of it makes me puke. Their Ewedu nko? God have mercy!
Nothing compared to rich Okro made from scratch and loads of vegetables, no stew biko.

You are not making any sense. I don't think you are woman sef

Ladies who say this are no different from men who think women should worship them because they me TG or lives better. We are in a country where a ‘good' woman is expected to stick with a man be it her husband or fiancee or bf all through his financial struggles. To do that means that hse may constantly have to listen to his struggles, supplement his income with what she has and ignore those prospective guys that seemed better off. If she is unable to do this, you will be the same set of people that will crucify her for not sticking with him.

magicalBae:


Ladies who usually say that are those set of ladies that never add a drop of water to an ocean.

A supportive woman don't brag over stuffs like dat no matter what but if d opposite buy a recharge card of #200, she'll remind u d date n time she bought it wen u 2 hav lil misunderstanding.


U suffered with him b'cos

*u asked him for 10k n he gave u 4k ?
*u asked him to take u out n he said not dis weekend ?
*u don't get t'fare at times wen u pay him a visit?
* u asked him to buy u iPhone6 n he got u BB10? ..... nonsense!!!!

U're nothing but a liability to him.

Who is this thing?

angelusbrut:
I guess you have a very poor interpersonal skill, possibly your age is affecting your behaviour in a social platform like this ......

I hope you are not a graduate or an undergraduate Sha o. This your advice sounds like someone who doesn't know the meaning of career.

@OP, you need to think about career progression and job security for now not money. The multinational however if you believe without sentiments that your present job will grow up to be more than what it is at the moment that is your career will progresses (and your income o) , please stick to it.

angelusbrut:
Abeokuta is better.......!13th month and all that summed together is not up to what u earn now,, come to think of it, accommodation in Lagos,stress and all that...remember that the pension contribution is 9+9 =18 employer half and u pay the remaining half.....The current place u work now is it related to geology? if yes then stay....Lagos is good but if the offer is 150-200,i will tell u to take it...but 50 is just not it

BS!

I have seen many scenarios especially in Nigeria. I have seen how women are turned to slaves because their husbands are in control . And so you know, this scenario outweighs whatever BS you have seen before.

400billionman:
Give her time

Once she shows signs of controlling you, then quit.

I have seen something similar. When women are in control of money nah so e dey be.

This is sad. I wouldn't want you to marry from that familybecUse it is quite clear your wife and her mother are still hurt over what transpired ages ago. Can you blame them? Their experiences made them what they are now. You have no idea what they went through in his hands, so stop judging. Find someone else and move on.

sammily:
Please I want people to help me out here. I proposed to my girlfriend of 8 months last 2 week ago and we agreed to visit her home last Sunday. I have always dropped her off around the place but I have never entered the house because I wasn't yet ready to meet the parent because we were just dating then and I wasn't yet sure that she was the one for me. Meanwhile all these while, My girl was only referring to her mum so I subconsciously concluded that the father is late. So last Sunday, I got to their house at Agege pen Cinema and what I saw was very sad. I saw a man looking so haggard in the sitting room and I greeted him, He answered in a very low tone and welcomed me. My girls mum soon came out to the sitting room and also greeted me. We exchanged pleasantries before my girl came out to join us in the discuss. At a point my girls mum brought out money and asked the haggard man to go and buy fuel to power the generator for me so that Heat will not disturb me.

We discussed at length after the man left. To cut the long story short, After the meeting we fixed another date for the second meeting that I was supposed to attend with a family member. When I was about leaving, I gave them some money and some to the man and he fell on his knees thanking me as if he has never owned N1000 in his entire life. When my girl was seeing me off, I asked her who the man was and lo and behold, it was her father. I couldn't believe my ears. it was like a rude joke. it was unbelievable. She must has sensed my confusion before she started telling me stories of how the man maltreated her mum when he had money, how he married another wife who squandered all his money and left them in penury. She said he used to beat her mum and all sorts which I cannot write here.

Since that Sunday till now, I've had no peace of mind, I've been thinking and imagining how a right thinking woman and her daughter can comfortably relegate the man of the house to a mere houseboy. That Sunday, the man was wearing a torn knicker and a white singlet that I won't even use to clean my car. Even my wife to be hushed him down when he came back and wanted to keep the fuel change to himself. Something is wrong somewhere, a woman who could treat her husband like this no matter what he did in the past is scary. I have not even picked her calls since that Sunday evening. I am scared and I don't know what to do next.

Which Yoruba setting? Don't mistake your village for Yoruba. . It makes you sound stupid.

herzern:
In a normal Yoruba setting..... When men talk......women keep quiet.............

She is not iIbo nor is she Yoruba......bigots what say you

We have had situations where Christians in NC ate their victims before. Where Christians leave new born babies to die

@thetopic, inasmuch I believed that what happened should never have happened. It is a situation I find very hard to comprehend and I wouldn't want to think bout it.

However I believe that there is more to this story. I know how crowd mentality works and I know that there are cases where people snap away and entertain themselves in a matter of life/death situations but this I cannot comprehend. Therefore I believe that something else must have happened, they could have deviated from religious angle to theft/kidnapping allegation or something .

So you can keep hating Islam, you are within your right to

Izen:
Shut up there! You killed one, you gave this excuse. "You cannot use the actions of few to judge all Muslims." You're still killing thousands around the world today, still the same dumb excuse. Will you face a terrorist who is killing in the name of Islam and tell him this truth you speak of to his face? So why should we infidels listen to you? Bunch of cowards and hypocrites! And guess what, if a Muslim came out to preach in a church, he wouldn't have been killed. Worst case scenario, he would have been bundled out. But who am I kidding? You wouldn't even envangelize in the first place because the only thing you lot believe in is coercion. Just imagine the insensitivity of this comment. So she deserved to die? Ode

I don't have an attitude. You are the one with problem. You don't expect me to pay your back for making a stupid generalisation about women because you got dumped. If at this stage your life, you are yet to realise what I told you. I feel bad for you.

Your attitude and your thinking stink, man!!!

richez25:
Aunty Dove or Vulture, or wateva u call urself. Am not the OP.. Am just tryna console the guy ok.. Keep ur attitude to urself, aiit.. Tanz. And u can stop climbing my molehill, will appreciate that.. Remain blessed as u become positive to life and reduce the attitude, seems u had a terrible one too. PEACE..

So you got dumped

Guys dump ladies everyday and vice versa . You won't be the first nor will you be the last. Stop making a mountain out of a molehill

richez25:
Well ma'am, i dont how long u stay in a relationship. Buh mine lasted 3yrs. The 8mnths i mentioned entails many tinz not just gettin over, also had self recovery and discovery. Trust me, wen i say guyz are the most emotional being ever created since time inception. Even the devil knew that. More reason he chose eve over adam, cos ladies were made from bones, and av no heart of their own. Dont knw if am makin a point buh i can sense u av not really experienced wat i passed thru or wat the OP is sayin.. Wen u do, i bet u, that guy of urs wont go Scot free. As for emotional, lemme break it to u, i cried and wept like someone whose father died. Not because she broke up wit me, buh cos of wasted years, effort and time spent in the relationship. Pls bear wit us, if u dont like emotional guyz.

Abi o

I no just understand some people used

DedeNkem:
You even used your handout money to feed her and then she got ahead of you academically. What a loser!

Move on with your pathetic life! She has found a better and smarter guy.

That you were in a mere relationship with her didn't mean she was your responsibilty!

Anything you spent in a relationship that didn't end in marraige is gone forever! She doesn't owe you and she has moved on. She survived in school using you and didn't love you.

Everyone want a better person in their life. That's a exactly what she did.

You are very pathetic and immature. Which suffering did you suffer? Are you telling me that if your gf was a known stranger and you had the ability to help her, you wouldn't have? In case none of these small boy have told you yet, breaking up is but one of the risks of relationship. You helped her because the good grace in your heart and you would surely be rewarded for it IF you don't ruin it with this pathetic display of foolishness. You better let her go except if you don't mind her sticking to you out of pity?


You had lower credit because you wanted to and she had a better result because she wanted to. Stop blaming others for your own failure .

BrokenHeart2016:
Thanks for the advise bro, I really suffer in this relationship

Coming from a guy who calls his mother a sluut, a bitcch and a kitty cat , we shall pass! We don't do hypocrites sir!

Vanquay16:
Okay, Using my Brain to think Logically, Islam regards Women as Sexual Objects that can distract Men whom also happen to be Sexual beasts incapable of Self Control?.==Interesting.

Who cares what a mor.on thinks?

Vanquay16:
So, I went with my good Turkish friend after a Soccer match to their mosque...Apparently there's always food to break fast and I never turn down free food(Me Being a college student and shit_)

I noticed during Prayers the women sat at the back of the mosque and I have known about that for a while, Doesn't this prove Mudslim men View Women as their Unequals...Funny Religion.

Sitting at the back conotes the woman as lesser in Spiritiality and Marriage and Romance...I would have duplicated this in Religion section but I found it more romance inclined besides...They have locked their section to themselves and I will rather die than have that despicable Signature on my Profile.

Dare2differ doveda daretodiffer or whatever you go by...Howdy?

Forgive Typos or maybe...

Josefu alala, Have you seen how you will die yet?

solomonsly11:
Have seen it coming that Governor Aregbesola will be the one bringing religious crisis to southwest if not caution on time.

You see why I insulted you the first time I quoted you. You are dvm***, accept it. this issue is beyond your grasp.

A Muslim has valid and firmly rooted reason to wear hijab, it is part of her identity aka expression. A Christian don't have the same relationship with robes or garments. That is why Muslims can wear hijab to schools in Western countries and A christian can't wear robes!


READ it again and again and again and again and again. In fact, you have my full permission to read a a billion times till it sinks in!!!

playboy19:
You see, I've said it before, you don't worth the time. I'm just someone who likes to give everyone no matter how stup!d a chance but heck, you are a nonentity.

You started this argument with me talking about law, but now that I'm towing the law lane with you, you don't want to go with the law anymore. Answer the questions I asked you or accepted that your parent wasted money sending you to school.

Why are nonetities quoting me?

Ephemmm:
Ignoramus! what right has muslim students have that other religions do not have? All your ranting here is just like the barking of a toothless dog: if Aregbe has two heads, let his arrest students of other religions.